Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Ndingakhale Bwanji Mlezi Wabwino wa Ana?

‘TIKUFUNA kuti udzilera mchimwene ndi mchemwali wako aang’onowa.’

Kaya mumailingalira ntchitoyi kukhala kuvutitsa kokwiyitsa kapena chisonyezero cha kukudalirani, lingaliro losiidwa nokha ndi ang’ono anu lingakupangitseni kukhala wosamasuka. ‘Bwanji atayamba kuvuta?’ mungazizwe tero. ‘Bwanji kutabwera mpandu kapena moto? Ndipo bwanji ngati mmodzi wa iwo avulazidwa kapena kudwala?’

Inu muli ndi chifukwa chokhalira wodera nkhaŵa. Ndiiko nkomwe, ana sizipangizo kapena zinthu zoseŵeretsa koma ndiwo anthu okhala ndi zosoŵa zapadera. Iwo ngamtengo wapatali kwa onse aŵiri makolo awo ndi kwa Mulungu. (Salmo 127:3) Chotero kaya mukusamalira ang’ono anu kapena ngati ndinu mlezi wa ana wogwirira ntchito phindu, kusamalira ana ndiko ntchito yathayo ndi yofuna kugwiridwa ndi manja anu onse. Komabe, mutakhala ndi maganizo olondola ndi kukonzekera bwino, mungaipange kukhala yachipambano.

Wankhalwe Kapena Wopereka Chisamaliro?

Achichepere ena amawonekera kulingalira kuti ntchito yokhala mlezi wa mwana ndiyo ntchito yoti ukhale wankhalwe. “Mchemwali wanga sankandilola kuchita ichi, ndipo sankandilola kuchita chija!” anadandaula tero msungwana wina. “Ndinayesa kumletsa kudzitamandira pa ine, ndipo anandiomba mbama!” Mnyamata wina wachichepere akuti: “Mchimwene ndi mchemwali wanga achikulire ankandilera ine, ndipo nzodabwitsa mmene amadzilingalira kukhala mafumu mofulumira!”

Kupereka malamulo mwaukali mofanana ndi kapitawo wa asilikali kungalingaliridwe kukhala kokondweretsa. Koma makolo anu atadziŵa zimenezo—ndipotu mwachidziwikire adzatero—“kulamulira” kwanuko kungafikire mapeto ochititsa manyazi. Miyambo 11:2 ikuchenjeza kuti: “Pakudza kudzikuza padzanso manyazi.”

Mwambi umodzimodziwo ukupitiriza kuti, ‘koma nzeru iri ndi odzichepetsa.’ Kudzichepetsa kumaphatikizapo kudziŵa polekezera panu. Ndipo mfundo njakuti makolo—osati alezi a ana—ndiwo akulamulidwa mwaumulungu kulera ndi kupatsa chilango ana. (Aefeso 6:4) Thayo lanu nla wotetezera ndi wosamalira.

Kusamalira Mwana Kwaluso

Ichi sichikutanthauza kuti ana angaloledwe kumathamangathamanga mwaufulu kotero kuti mungasangalale ndi kupenyerera TV kapena kuŵerenga. ‘Mwana womlekerera achititsa amake manyazi’—ndikuvutitsa kwambiri mlezi wa mwana! (Miyambo 29:15) Mwatsoka, achichepere kaŵirikaŵiri samasamalira ana opulupudza mwaluso.

Gulu lina la achichepere a ku U.S. linafufuzidwa pankhaniyi ndikufunsidwa mmene angasamalire mikhalidwe imene imabuka mofala m’nthaŵi yolera ana. Mogwirizana ndi magazini a Adolescence, kokha 8 peresenti ya achichepere anasonyeza kuti akasamalira nkhanizo m’njira yokomera malingaliro a ana. Okwanira 92 peresenti otsatirawo anakhoterera kugwiritsira ntchito machenjera oipa, onga ngati malamulo, kudzudzula, ndi kuwopseza. Ofufuzawo anamaliza kuti aubwana “amakhoterera kukhala osalingalira muunansi wawo ndi ang’ono awo.”

Kodi mungaŵasamalire motani ana mokhutiritsa ndi mwaluso? Abusa Achikristu akulimbikitsidwa kuti: “Udziwitsitse zoweta zako ziri bwanji, samalira magulu ako.” (Miyambo 27:23) Mofananamo, inu muyenera kukalamira kumvetsetsa zosoŵa ndi zolingalira za ana omwe mukuŵasamalira. Adziŵeni monga munthu payekha. Mosataya nthaŵi mudzazindikira kuti ana aang’ono alibe mphamvu ya kuzindikira, kuleza mtima, kapena nyonga yofanana ndi ya mkulu. Mmalomwake, “ana ali ambowa.” (Genesis 33:13) Iwo amasanguluka patakhala chikondi ndi kusamaliridwa koma angasukidwe ndi kupulupudza mofulumira.

Kugwiritsira Ntchito Lamulo Lamakhalidwe Abwino

Pamenepo, nthaŵi zina ana amamwerekera m’kuseŵera kwawo ndipo angapute mkwiyo wanu. Iwo angadziike paupandu ndi mkhalidwe wosasamala. Kapena angakuyeseni kuti awone mmene angachitire zinthu mwamachenjera. (“Nthaŵi zina ndimachita machenjera kwa alezi anga,” akuvomereza tero Douglas wa zaka zisanu ndi ziŵiri.) Izi zitachitika, musapanikizidwe. Gwiritsirani ntchito Lamulo Lamakhalidwe Abwino iri: “Nthaŵi zonse achitireni ena zimene mukafuna kuti iwo akuchitireni.”—Mateyu 7:12, The New English Bible.

Kumbukirani kuti, “utsiru umangika mumtima mwa mwana,” ndipo sikale kwambiri pamene nanunso munkachita mofananamo. (Miyambo 22:15) Sumikani pa kuwongolera vutolo (“tiyeni titsuke dothilo”) mmalo mwa kumkalipira mwana. Peŵani kuzazuka ndi ‘kunena mwansontho ngati kupyoza kwa lupanga.’ (Miyambo 12:18) Kutcha mwana kuti “wopusa” kapena “chiphwafu” nkunyoza ndipo kumavulaza mwana kwambiri. Miyambo 29:11 (Today’s English Version) ikutikumbutsa kuti: “Anthu opusa amavumbulutsa mkwiyo wawo poyera, Koma anthu anzeru amaleza mtima naugwira.” Msungwana wina Wachikristu akuti: “Nditafikira pakufuna kumenya mchemwali wanga wa zaka zisanu ndi zitatu, ndimapemphera, ndipo ichi chimandithandizira kulamulira mkwiyo wanga.”

Nthaŵi zina mavuto angachinjiziridwe mutaŵatenga bwino. Kuthokoza mkhalidwe wabwino kungakupindulireni kuposa kupondereza kwa ziwopsezo zopereka chilango. Ndiponso, ana sangasukidwe ndi kupulupudza kwenikweni ngati muŵakonzera zochita zabwino zimene ziri zosangalatsa, monga ngati maseŵera opeka. (Yerekezerani ndi Mateyu 11:16, 17.) Mwinamwake mumakumbukira ena amene munaŵasewera pamene munali mwana—kapena mungapeke ena atsopano. Inu mungayesenso kuŵerenga mbali zapamtima pa wachichepereyo m’bukhu la Kumamumvetsera Mphunzitsi Wamkuru’yo kapena Bukhu Langa la Nkhani za Baibulo.a

Nthaŵi zina ana amafunikira chilango. Koma nkwabwino kukambitsirana ndi makolo anu chimene muyenera kuchita pankhaniyi. Ichi makamaka nchowona ngati ndinu mlezi wa ana waganyu. Mavuto ambiri angayembekezere kufikira makolo atabwera kunyumba. Ndipo mwina mudzavulaza mwana (ndikuputa mkwiyo wa makolo) mutadziyambira nokha kum’menya. Miyambo 13:10 ikuchenjeza kuti: “Kudzikuza kupikisanitsa; Koma omwe anauzidwa uphungu ali ndi nzeru.”

Kutetezera Ana ku Kuvulazidwa

Barbara Benton akuchenjeza motere m’bukhu lake lakuti The Babysitter’s Handbook: “Kusanganiza kusakhazikika kwake, chikhumbo chake, ndikusadziŵiratu kuweruza kumapangitsa khanda kukhala mnkhole woyambirira wa zinthu zonse zoipa zomwe zingachitikire ana. Nthaŵi zonse mufunikira kukhala watcheru—ndi wofulumira—kumchinjiriza.” Stephanie wachichepere anazindikira mmene ichi chiriri chowona. “Ndinkalera mphwanga,” akukumbukira tero. “Mwadzidzidzi anatsamwidwa ndi siwiti! Ndinaisolola mkamwa mwake, ndipo ndinachitadi mantha!”

Ngozi zowopsa kwambiri zingachinjirizidwe mutakhala watcheru pa ana. Barbara Benton akupereka masitepe ena: “Pangani ulendo wounguzaunguza kuti muwone ndikuchotsa zinthu zonse zomwe zingachititse ngozi.” Muyenera kudziŵa malo pomwe pali zinthu zonga bokosi la mawaya amagetsi, chozimitsa moto, ndi bokosi la first-aid. Phunzirani mogwiritsira ntchito zipangizo zamagetsi zapanyumba bwino ndi mwachisungiko. Mungapangedi ndandanda yofufuzira chisungiko yokhala ndi zinthu zonga ngati mazenera (kodi ngotsekedwa?), makwerero (kodi alibe zipangizo zangozi?), potulukira magetsi (kodi mpotsekedwa bwino?), mankhwala ndi zapaizoni (kodi zasungidwa mosamalitsa moti sizingafikiridwe ndi achichepere?), nsambo za magetsi (kodi zaikidwa bwino?), mfungulo zanyumba (kodi muli ndi zina zapadera kuchitira kuti musadzikhomere kunja?).

Mungadzikonzekerenso nokha bwino mosamalira zakugwa mwadzidzidzi. “Ndinkaphunzira m’kalasi ya alezi a ana kusukulu ndipo ndinaphunzira first-aid ya makanda ndi ana aang’ono,” akutero msungwana wachichepere wina. Mwinamwake makosi oterowo alipo pasukulu panu. Nkofunikanso kukonzekera ndandanda yokhala ndi manambala a lamya ya apolisi, dipatimenti ya ozima moto, dokotala wabanja, chipatala, ndi malikulu osamalira paizoni. Dziŵani mmene mungapezere makolo anu ndipo mwinamwake anansi ena omwe angathandizire pangozi.

Patachitika ngozi kapena zobuka zamwadzidzidzi, MUSANTHUNTHUMIRE! “Wanzeru auletsa [mkwiyo wake] nautontholetsa.” (Miyambo 29:11) Mwachitsanzo, mwana angadye paizoni. Tumirani foni kuchipatala mwamsanga kapena likulu losamalira zapaizoni. Ngati ichi nchosatheka, ŵerengani malangizo okhala pa lebulo la paizonilo mosamalitsa. Kuwusanthula mkhalidwewo nkwabwino kuposa kuchita zinthu mwaumbuli (monga ngati kumkakamiza kusanza) komwe kungaipitsebe chochitikacho. Ndipo monga momwe kungakhalire kotsendereza ndi kochititsa manyazi, tsimikizirani kuti mukuulula kuvulala kapena zophophonya zirizonse kwa makolo a mwanayo. Iwo ali nako kuyenera kwa kudziŵa chomwe chachitika, ndipo angasankhe ngati masitepe ena ayenera kutengedwa.

Kulera ana kungawonekere kukhala thayo lalikulu—ndipo ndilodi. Koma iko nchitsanzo cha zimene makolo anu achita zaka zambiri pokusamalirani. Chotero ilingalireni mosamalitsa ntchito yanu. Pamene mupeza chidaliro ndi kuzoloŵera, kungakhale kofupa ndi kosangalatsa kwa inu.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Bokosi patsamba 21]

Zitsogozo Zolerera Ana

Khalani waluso. Tsimikizirani kuti malipiro anu avomerezedwa bwino lomwe.

Kambitsiranani. Khazikitsani pasadakhale chimene ntchito yanu idzaphatikiza.

Khalani wosunga nthaŵi ndi wodalirika.

Adziŵeni anawo pasadakhale.

Dziŵani malamulo apanyumbayo.

[Chithunzi patsamba 20]

Ana afunikira chisamaliro chosalekeza ngati ati achinjirizidwe ku chivulazo