Miseche Mmene Mungapeŵere Kudzivulaza Inumwini ndi Ena

KOKHA ngati pali anthu, padzakhala miseche. Ngakhale m’dziko latsopano langwiro loloseredwa m’Baibulo mwinamwake silidzakhala lopanda miseche.a (2 Petro 3:13) Kulankhula kwamwamwaŵi, kwanthaŵi zonse konena za mabwenzi ndi ocheza nawo ndimbali yaikulu ya njira imene timalankhuzanirana ndi kusunga maunansi abwino.

Komabe, palibe chodzikhululukira chirichonse kaamba ka miseche yovulaza, yanjiru, kapena kusinjirira! Kulankhula koteroko kumavulaza ndi kulemaza; iko kungawononge miyoyo, maunansi, ndi mbiri yabwino ya munthu. Chotero kodi mungapeŵe motani kudutsa malire ndi kudziloŵetsa m’miseche yovulaza? Kodi mungadzitetezere motani ku iyo? Uphungu wina wabwino koposa woperekedwa pa nkhani imeneyi unalembedwa m’Baibulo. Tiyeni tilingalire uphungu woŵerengeka wokha.

Lumani Chala: Kwanenedwa kuti “kukambitsirana ndiko maseŵera a maganizo, koma kudyera miseche ndiko maseŵera a lirime.” Ndithudi, kulankhula kochuluka kovulaza kumasonyeza, osati njiru, koma kulephera kulingalira musanalankhule. Ena amanenanena nkhani za anzawo; iwo amawonjezera mawu, kusinjirira, ndi kupotoza popanda kulingalira zotulukapo. Iwo amavumbulira ena zophophonya za mabwenzi awo, anzawo a muukwati, ndi ana popanda kulingalira konse za chivulazo chimene iwo akupanga.

Motero Baibulo limapereka uphungu uwu: ‘Pochuluka mawu zolakwa sizisoŵeka; koma wokhala chete achita mwanzeru.’ (Miyambo 10:19) Kunena m’mawu ena, lingalirani musanalankhule. Lingalirani musananene kalikonse ponena za wina aliyense. Dzifunseni kuti: ‘Kodi ndingabwereze zimenezi pamaso pa munthuyo? Kodi ndingadzimve motani ngati zimenezi zinanenedwa ponena za ine?’ (Mateyu 7:12) Salmo 39:1 limati: ‘Ndidzasunga njira zanga kuti ndingachimwe ndi lilime langa: Ndidzasunga pakamwa panga ndi chamkamwa.’

Kunena zowona, pangakhale mikhalidwe imene kuluma chala kungakhale kosatheka. Mwachitsanzo, mungakhale ndi zikaikiro zamphamvu ponena za cholakwa chachikulu chochitiridwa inu kapena banja lanu. Mwinamwake simungakhale ndi umboni uliwonse, koma mungalingalire kuti mufunikira kuchita chinachake ponena za nkhaniyo. Kodi kukakhala kusinjirira kulankhula za iyo ndi bwenzi lokhulupiriridwa kapena winawake wokhala ndi thayo? Kodi ndinu wodyera miseche wanjiru mutafikira winawake kaamba ka uphungu? Ndithudi ayi. Baibulo limavomereza nzeru ya kukhala ndi kukambitsirana kwachinsinsi. Ndithudi, kuweruza kwabwino ndi kulinganizika nzofunika pochita ndi mikhalidwe yovuta yoteroyo.—Miyambo 15:22.

Musamvetsere ku Miseche Yovulaza: Awo amene amadziloŵetsa mokhazikika m’nkhani zopusa alidi mbali ya vutolo; awo amene amakondweretsedwa kumvetsera mosamalitsa alinso ndi thayo. Kungomvetsera kokha kungakupangitseni kuvomereza mwakachetechete ndi kuwonjezera kufalikira kwa kudyera miseche kovulaza. Miyambo 17:4 imati: ‘Wochimwa amasamalira milomo yolakwa; wonama amvera lilime losakaza.’

Chotero, pamene nkhani yonena za winawake silamulirika, mungafunikire kusonyeza kulimba mtima ndikunena kuti, ‘Tiyeni tisinthe nkhaniyi.’ Ndipo ngati mabwenzi amene muli nawo tsopano atsimikizira kukhala okhoterera mosasinthika ku kudziloŵetsa m’kudyera miseche kovulaza, mungafunikire kulingalira zopeza mabwenzi atsopano. Baibulo limati: “Miseche singasunge konse chinsinsi. Athaŵeni anthu olankhula mopambanitsa.” (Miyambo 20:19, Today’s English Version) Mwachidziŵikire, m’kupita kwa nthaŵi nanunso mudzakhala mutu wa nkhani yokambitsirana.

Musachite Mopambanitsa Mutadyeredwa Miseche: Anthu ambiri amakondwera ndi miseche malinga ngati misecheyo sikunena za iwo. Kumbali ina, talingalirani kuti ndinu mnkhole wa mphekesera yoipa kapena nkhani yabodza. Nthaŵi zina chimakhala chotheka kupeza magwero a nkhaniyo ndikuwongolera zinthu mwabata. Koma bwanji ngati simungathe kutero?

Kukwiya kwanu sikumakwaniritsa kanthu. Ndithudi, ‘wokangaza kukwiya adzachita utsiru,’ likutero Baibulo. (Miyambo 14:17) Chotero Solomo anapereka uphungu uwu: ‘Mawu onse onenedwa usawalabadire . . . pakuti kaŵirikaŵiritu mtima wako udziŵa kuti nawenso unatemberera ena.’ (Mlaliki 7:21, 22) Miseche imachitika tsiku ndi tsiku, ndipo panthaŵi ina kapena inzake, nanunso munakhala ndi phande lalikulu mu iyo. Kodi nkhaniyo njofunikadi kukwiya nayo? Kodi iyo mothekera idzazimiririka mwamsanga? Pali “mphindi yakuseka,” ndipo mwinamwake kusonyeza kuti muli ndi nthabwala, kungoseka kungakhale njira yabwino yothetsera mphekeserayo.—Mlaliki 3:4.

Musakuze Nkhani: Ngati nkhaniyo ikukanika kutha, dzifunseni kuti: ‘Kodi mwinamwake ndikuwapatsa anthu chifukwa chondidyera miseche? Kodi mwinamwake ndikuchita zinthu m’njira yokaikiritsa, kupereka kawonekedwe ka kuchita cholakwa?’ Talingalirani mikhalidwe yotsatirayi:

◻ Antchito anzake a mkazi wina amamnena mwamseri mkaziyo kukhala waulesi ndiponso wosadalirika—ngakhale kuti amachita mathayo ake mokhutiritsa. Kodi nchifukwa ninji ali ndi mbiri yoipayo? Chinthu chimodzi nchakuti, amasonyeza mkhalidwe wosasamala, umene umatanthauziridwa mosavuta kukhala ulesi. Kavalidwe ndi kapesedwe kake nkosayenerera malo a bizinesi amene amagwiramo ntchito. Pomalizira, iye siwochenjera ndi njira imene amayankhira matelefoni aumwini, amalankhula mofuula kwakuti amakoka chisamaliro cha ogwira ntchito mu ofesi onse. Ndicho chifukwa cha kudyeredwa misecheko!

◻ Wogulitsa m’sitolo wakumaloko ndiye nkhani yokambirana ya m’mudzi wake waung’ono. Mphekesera ikunena kuti wakhala wosakhulupirika kwa mkazi wake. Mwamunayo akukana kwamtu wa galu chinenezo chabodzacho. Kodi nchiyani chapangitsa mphekeserayo? Mbiri yake yakukhala wozoloŵerana mopambanitsa ndi ogula aakazi.

◻ Msungwana wa zaka zapakati pa 13 ndi 19 amanenedwa kukhala wa makhalidwe achiwerewere. Ena amati ali ndi mabwenzi aamuna ambiri ndiponso amagwiritsira ntchito cocaine. Nkhani zonsezo nzabodza. Koma iye ngwodziŵika kuti amayanjana ndi anthu omwe amagwiritsira ntchito mankhwala ogodomalitsa. Iye amavala, kupesa, ndi kupaka zodzoladzola mopambanitsa.

Ngati ndinu mnkhole wa kudyera miseche kwanjiru, pamenepo kungakhale kothandiza kudziŵa ngati mkhalidwe wanu, mmene mumachitira ndi anthu ena, ngakhale kavalidwe ndi kapesedwe kanu, zikuwonjezera m’njira inayake misecheyo. Mwinamwake masinthidwe ena ake m’njira yanu ya moyo angathetse mphekeserazo. Baibulo limati: “Posowa nkhuni moto ungozima.” (Miyambo 26:20) Kuwonjezerapo, ngati zochita zanu ziri pafupi nenene ndi zinthu zosayenerera, nthaŵi zonse pamakhala ngozi yeniyeni yogwera m’kuchita cholakwa—kupangitsa yomwe inali mphekesera kukhala nkhani yeniyeni.—Yerekezerani ndi Agalatiya 6:7, 8; 1 Akorinto 10:12.

‘Chitani za Inu Eni’

Miseche njokhalitsa. Komabe, tiyenera kuzindikira mphamvu yake yosakaza. Mungapeŵe kuwawa mtima ndi chisoni chochuluka inu eni ndi ena mwakungotsatira mawu anzeru awa: ‘Zinthu zirizonse zowona, zirizonse zolemekezeka, zirizonse zolungama, zirizonse zoyera, zirizonse zokongola, zirizonse zimveka zokoma; ngati kuli chokoma mtima china, kapena chitamando china, zilingirireni izi . . . ; ndipo Mulungu wa mtendere adzakhala pamodzi ndi inu.’—Afilipi 4:8, 9.

Inde, Mulungu iyemwini ngwokondweretsedwa ndi njira imene timalankhulira za ena. Yesu Kristu anachenjeza kuti: ‘Mawu onse opanda pake, amene anthu adzalankhula, adzawaŵerengera mlandu wake tsiku la kuweruza. Pakuti udzayesedwa wolungama ndi mawu ako, ndipo ndi mawu ako omwe udzatsutsidwa.’—Mateyu 12:36, 37; yerekezerani ndi Salmo 52:2-5.

Kodi mukufuna maunansi abwino ndi ena, mtendere wamaganizo, ndipo, chofunika koposa zonse, kaimidwe kabwino ndi Mulungu? Pamenepo tsatirani uphungu wouziridwa wa Mawu a Mulungu uwu: ‘Muyesetse kukhala chete ndi kuchita za inu eni.’ (1 Atesalonika 4:11) Sonyezani chikondwerero mwa ena, koma chitani tero m’njira yachifundo, yaulemu. Motero mudzapeŵa kotheratu kudyera miseche kwanjiru, kovulaza.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 9]

Thaŵani kulankhula kovulaza

[Chithunzi patsamba 10]

Kodi mkhalidwe wanu wosachenjera umapatsa anthu chifukwa chakukudyerani miseche?