Azaka 13 Mpaka 19, Amsinkhu Wovuta Kuchita Nawo
AZAKA 13 mpaka 19 akuzingidwa ndi mauthenga odzutsa nyere. Mawu azakugonana amagwiritsiridwa ntchito kutsatsa malonda a chirichonse kuyambira pa nsapato mpaka malaya ansalu za jini. Nyimbo zamakono nzodzala mawu ochirikiza kugonana. Anthu achikulire osonyezedwa pa wailesi yakanema amawonekedwe okongola amasinthasinthu zitsamwali zogonana nazo. Koma kodi zimenezi nzoyenera?
Nyuzipepala yaikulu ya ku Amereka inanena kuti “makanema ochuluka azakugonana osonyezedwa” panthaŵi imene anthu ambiri amakhala akupenyerera TV amasonyeza “kulinganiza programu kochititsa kakasi ndi kosasamala.” The Journal of the American Medical Association inakutcha “kuulutsa zosangulutsa ndi kutsatsa malonda koluluza achichepere.”
Muyenera kutsimikizira kuti ana anu amadziŵa kuti sialiyense amene amachita zimenezo. Ngakhale ngati, monga momwe zikumvekera, theka la asungwana azaka 17 ku Amereka anachitapo kale kugonana, zimenezo zimatanthauzanso kuti theka linalo sanatero. Monga momwe yemwe kale anali Mlembi wa Unduna wa Zamaphunziro wa United States William J. Bennett ananenera kuti: “‘Sialiyense’ amene amachita, ndipo tingakonde kupatsa achichepere amenewo—amene nditheka la azaka khumi ndi zisanu mphambu ziŵiri amenewo—chilimbikitso ndi chichirikizo.”
Iye ananena kuti kupenda kochitidwa m’chipatala chotchedwa Grady Memorial Hospital mu Atlanta, Georgia, U.S.A., kunasonyeza kuti pa asungwana 10 amene sanafikebe zaka 16, okwanira 9 “anafuna kuphunzira mmene anganenere kuti ‘ndakana’ pazakugonana.” Kodi mukhoza kuwathandiza ana anu kukhutira kuti, kuyankha ndi liwu lamphamvu kuti ndakana ndiko yankho lokha loyenera lokanira chisembwere, osati kukana kofooka kozengereza? Kodi mungawathandize kuzindikira kuti anthu aulemu adzawalemekeza kaamba ka chimenechi? Wazaka 13 mpaka 19 wadzina la Emily anauza nyuzipepala ya ku California, U.S.A., kuti: “Anthu olemekezeka kwambiri samachita kugonana.”
Muyenera kuthandiza achichepere anu kuzindikira kuti kugonana kuli ndi mphamvu yaikulu—ndikwamphamvu kotero kuti kunabala fuko lonse la anthu. Komabe, izi sizitanthauza kuti sikungalamuliridwe. Mmalomwake, zimatanthauza kuti mofanana ndi galimoto lothamanga kwambiri lochitira makani aliŵiro, liyenera kuyendetsedwa bwino, motsatira malamulo apamsewu. Kunyalanyaza malamulowo panjira yokhotakhota yam’mapiri kungachititse tsoka. Kunyalanyaza malamulo azakugonana operekedwa ndi Mulungu kudzakhala ndi zotulukapo zofananazo. Kodi ndimotani mmene mungathandizire ana anu, amene mumawakonda kwambiri, kuzindikira mfundo imeneyi?
Aphunzitseni Kuti Chiyero Chiri ndi Phindu
Kambitsiranani ndi achichepere anu chitsanzo chabwino cha m’Baibulo cha msungwana wokongola Wachisulami. Iye anatha kunena monyandira kuti: ‘Ndine khoma, maŵere anga akunga nsanja zake.’ Anali wamakhalidwe onga khoma lolimba la linga lokhala ndi nsanja zosafikirika. Ndipo kwa wodzakhala mkwati wake, anali ngati “wopeza mtendere.” Inde, mtendere wamaganizo wosadodometsedwa ndi chisoni chapambuyo pake uli phindu lolemera la chiyero.—Nyimbo ya Solomo 8:10.
Koma kodi ndimotani mmene wachichepere angakhalire wolimba m’makhalidwe, monga khoma? Asanayang’anizane ndi nkhani zimenezo, muyenera kutsimikizira kuti mwana wanuyo womatha msinkhu akudziŵa kufunika kwa kudzichinjiriza mwakupeŵa mikhalidwe imene ingatsogolera, ndipo imatero kaŵirikaŵiri, ku chisembwere. Mwachitsanzo, iwo ayenera kudziŵa kuti monga momwe kuledzera poyendetsa galimoto kungachititsire ngozi, momwenso kungachititse ngozi kupita kuphwando la achichepere kumene ena abweretsa zakumwa zoledzeretsa kapena kumene kulibe mkulu woyang’anira.
Mofananamo, athandizeni kuzindikira kuti kukhala okha aŵiri m’nyumba (kapena m’chipinda) ndi wachichepere mnzawo wosiyana naye ziŵalo kumakhala kudziika pachiyeso. Achichepere ayenera kudziŵa bwino upandu wakulola aliyense wosakhala mnzawo wamuukwati kugwira mbali zawo zathupi zosayenera, kuphatikizapo maŵere. Afotokozereni kuti kunyengedwa kumayamba ndi kugwira mbali zathupi koteroko kodzutsa nyere.—Yerekezerani ndi 1 Akorinto 7:1.
Muyenera kuthandiza ana anu okondedwa kudziŵa kuti chikondi chenicheni chimatanthauza zoposa kugonana ndikuti kugonana kwakunja kwaukwati nkolakwa. Achichepere ena amayamba kugonana asanakwatirane. Iwo angakhale anagonana ndi anzawo ambiri koma osakwatirana konse. Ndiyeno, pamene zaka zipita ndipo awona kuti tsopano afunadi mnzawo wamuukwati, amakhala osungulumwa ndi osiidwa okha. Indedi, iwo sanatomere aliyense, komanso palibe amene anatomerana nawo.
Ana anu aamuna ndi aakazi ayenera kudziŵa kuti chinamwali chawo nchamtengo wapatali kwambiri chosayenera kuchitaya muja titaira madzi am’chimbudzi. Mthandizeni mwana wanu kuwona kuti chisangalalo chotheratu chakugonana chingapezeke kokha m’makonzedwe opatulika aukwati. Baibulo limanena m’mawu okoma andakatulo kuti: ‘Imwa madzi a m’chitsime mwako, ndi madzi oyenda a m’kasupe mwako. Kodi magwero ako ayenera kumwazikana kunja, ndi mitsinje ya madzi m’khwalala? Adalitsike kasupe wako; ukondwere ndi mkazi wokula naye.’—Miyambo 5:15, 16, 18.
Monga makolo achikondi, muyenera kuyesayesa zolimba kuphunzitsa zenizeni zimenezi. Ichi nchitokoso chapadera lerolino, popeza kuti kutenga mimba kwa osakwatira kumavomerezedwa ndi ambiri. Lillian, namwino wa anakubala, akunena kuti sizimamdabwitsanso kuwona atate wosakwatira wazaka 15 wochita chisoni pamene agogo onyadira ampatsa khanda limene sali wolikonzekera, wosalifuna, ndi kulikana.
Wopereka ndemanga pawailesi yakanema ananena kuti “akazi osakwatiwa achichepere kwambiri okhala ndi ana” kaŵirikaŵiri samakhoza kumaliza sukulu, kupeza ntchito, kapena kulera ana awo m’njira yabwino. Amayi achichepere ameneŵa, iye anatero, “amagwidwa mumsampha wa masoka odzidzetsera okha. . . . Umphaŵi umakhala wosapeŵeka ndipo umapitiriza kwa ana awowonso.”
Chitsanzo Chimene Muchipereka
Mayendedwe anu adzakhala ndi chisonkhezero champhamvu pa ana anu. Nthaŵi zina zimenezi zingachitike mwanjira zimene simungalingalire. Kodi nchiyani chimachitika ngati atate ali achimasomaso? Kapena pamene amayi amangoti, “Hi, akongolerenji mwamuna uja!” pamene mwamuna wamawonekedwe abwino adutsa? Kodi makolo oterowo amalimbikitsa ana awo kusunga chiyero chawo? Ngati mumakhumbira mawonekedwe a munthu, kodi muyenera kudabwa ngati ana anu akondetsa mawonekedwe akunja kuposa makhalidwe abwino, kukoma mtima, chikondi chenicheni, kapena kudzipereka kwa munthu kwa Mulungu?
Chotero kuphunzitsa ana anu zimene afunikira kudziŵa ponena zakugonana kumaphatikizapo zoposa zimene mwina munazilingalira. Kumaphatikizapo kaimidwe kanu kamaganizo, mkhalidwe wanu panyumba, kufunitsitsa kwanu kuwaphunzitsa ana anu adakali ang’ono, limodzinso ndi chitsanzo chimene mumachipereka. Ndithudi, zonsezi zimafuna nthaŵi ndi kuyesayesa zolimba, koma mphotho yake njaikulu!
Kodi Simunawaphunzitsebe?
Koma bwanji ngati ana anu ali kale pafupi ndi kutha msinkhu, ndipo simunakambitsiranebe nawo zinthuzi? Mukhoza kunena kuti: “Pepani, ndinalakwa kuyembekezera kwanthaŵi yaitali ndisanakambitsirane nanu zinthuzi, koma ndifunadi kuti mukhale ndi moyo wabwino koposa, choncho ndiyenera kuyesa tsopano.”
Indedi, ziribwino kukambitsirana nkhanizi ndi ana anu ngakhale atakulako kale kuposa kulekeratu. Kuphunzitsa ana anu makhalidwe abwino ndithayo lofunika kwambiri ndi mwaŵi wapadera. Ron Moglia wa pa Yunivesiti ya New York anati: “Kholo lirilonse limene limanyalanyaza thayo lakulankhula ndi mwana wake ponena za kugonana limaphonya chimodzi cha zokumana nazo zabwino koposa.”
Ngati munadziŵa posachedwapa za ziyeneretso zamakhalidwe abwino za Mulungu ndipo ana anu amadziŵa kuti kale simunkazitsatira, adziŵitseni chimene tsopano mwasinthira. Mungawapemphe kuŵerenga magazini ano ndiyeno pangani makonzedwe akukambitsirana chidziŵitso chopezekamo. Simuyenera kulefulidwa ndi wachichepere amene anena kuti: “O, ndidziŵa zonsezo!” Malingaliro otengedwa kusukulu kapena m’nkhani zosimbidwa, ngakhale kuyesa kugonana sizingaloŵe m’malo chitsogozo chabwino cha makhalidwe abwino. Chowonadi nchakuti umbuli ungatsogolere ku tsoka.
Kuphunzitsa ana anu kungafune kuyesayesa kwakukulu, koma mphotho yake ingakhale yoposa! Monga momwe Baibulo limanenera, mokhweka ndi momvekera bwino kuti: ‘Wolungama woyenda mwangwiro, anake adala pambuyo pake.’—Miyambo 20:7.
[Chithunzi patsamba 9]
Kodi wailesi yakanema imaphunzitsanji ponena zakugonana?
[Chithunzi patsamba 10]
Kunyalanyaza malamulo akuyendetsa galimoto kaŵirikaŵiri kumadzetsa mavuto owopsa, ndipo kumateronso kunyalanyaza malamulo amakhalidwe aumulungu