Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Ndingapange Motani Masinthidwe Powona Kuti Agogo Akukhala Nafe?

NTHAŴI zonse munali ndi unansi wabwino ndi agogo anu. Nthaŵi yomwe munathera limodzi nawo inali yosangalatsa, yapadera. Koma tsopano adza kudzakhala ndi banja lanu.

Pamene agogo adza kudzakhala nanu, kungatanthauze kupanga masinthidwe kwa aliyense wophatikizidwa.a Nonsenu mufunikira kusinthira kunjira za wina ndi mnzake. Koma mkhalidwewo uli wokhoza kuwongolereka. Mwakugwiritsira ntchito malamulo amakhalidwe abwino Abaibulo, mungathe kuthandiza banja lanu kugwirizana, osati kukokerana.

Mphamvu ya Chikondi

Imodzi ya njira zochepetsera mavuto abanja ndiyo kugwiritsira ntchito lamulo lamakhalidwe abwino lopezeka pa 1 Akorinto 16:14 lakuti: “Zanu zonse zichitike m’chikondi.” Chikondi Chachikristu “chikwiriritsa unyinji wa machimo.” (1 Petro 4:8) Ndipo monga momwe kufufuza kwa magazini a Family Relations kunasonyezera, chikondi chopanda mpeni kumphasa ndi kukomera mtima achibale okalamba ziri ndi mapindu othandiza; zimachepetsa zipsinjo ndi mavuto a kupereka chisamaliro.

Mwatsoka, siachichepere onse amene ali ndi chikondi chotero pa agogo awo. Ena amaipidwa nawo, kuwawona monga okalamba ndi otha ntchito. Koma achichepere Achikristu samawona okalamba mwanjirayo. Iwo amakumbukira mawu a Miyambo 20:29 akuti: “Kukongola kwa nkhalamba ndiimvi.” Inde, agogo anu ali ndi uchikulire ndi chidziŵitso. Angakhale magwero abwino koposa a uphungu ndi chitsogozo, makamaka ngati ali Akristu. Ndipo mofanana ndi agogo ochuluka, iwo mwinamwake amakuŵerengerani kwambiri kuposa mmene mudziŵira.—Miyambo 17:6.

Ngati unansi wanu sunakhalebe wathithithi kufikira tsopano, bwanji osayesa kusintha zinthu? Motero msungwana wina anasankha kusonyeza ubwenzi. Iye akukumbukira kuti: “Ndinagulira agogo anga akazi peya ya masokosi amawonekedwe amene ndinadziŵa kuti akawakonda. Iwo anasonyeza masokosi amenewo kwa aliyense amene anadzacheza!” Mwanjira yofananayo, mukhoza kuyesayesa kupatula mphindi zingapo masiku onse zoti mudzikambitsirana. Kapena mukhoza kuwalola kukutumani. Kuteroko kungathe kukupangitsani kuyandikana nawo kwambiri.

Kunena zowona, mikhalidwe ingaike chikondi cha aliyense pachiyeso. Kungakhale kovuta kwa okalambawo kusinthira kumalo atsopano. Iwo angakhale odwala ndipo nthaŵi zonse osakhala mumkhalidwe wabwino koposa. Ndipo pamene mungafunikire kupanga masinthidwe akutiakuti m’njira yanu ya moyo—mwinamwake ngakhale kudzimana—zindikirani kuti suli mkhalidwe wosavuta ngakhale kwa agogo anu. Ndithudi, ameneŵa angakhale “masiku oipa” kwa iwo. (Mlaliki 12:1) Zindikirani kuti amenewa anasamalira makolo anu pamene anali ana. Mulungu amawona chisamaliro chimene mumapereka kwa agogo anu monga “kubwezera” ndipo monga chisonyezero cha kudzipereka kwanu kwa iye.—1 Timoteo 5:4; Yakobo 1:27.

Luso la Kulolera

Komabe, mavuto akhoza kupeŵedwa kaŵirikaŵiri ngati musonyeza kudera nkhaŵa kopanda dyera kwa agogo anu. (Afilipi 2:4) Mwachitsanzo, mungathe kukumbukira kuti okalamba kaŵirikaŵiri samafuna konse phokoso; nyimbo zaphokoso zingawakwiyitse. (Mlaliki 12:4) Iwo angakwiyenso ngati mupanga phokoso nthaŵi iriyonse pamene mucheza ndi mabwenzi. Nkhani zotero mosavuta zikhoza kukhala magwero a kukangana. Koma Baibulo limatikumbutsa kuti “nzeru yochokera kumwamba iyamba kukhala . . . yamtendere, yaulere.”—Yakobo 3:17.

Munthu wamtendere amapititsa patsogolo mtendere. Iye ngwofunitsitsa kuyesayesa mwapadera—ngakhale kudzimana maubwino ake—kuti asungitse maunansi abwino ndi ena. Mofananamo, munthu wolingalira samaumirira panjira zake nthaŵi zonse koma ngwofunitsitsa kulolera malingaliro a munthu wina. Polingalira zimenezo, yesani kukambitsirana ndi agogo anu modekha. Mmalo mwakuumirira pa “zoyenera” zanu, yesani kupeza njira zololerana.

Mwinamwake mabwenzi anu akhoza kudzacheza pamasiku amene agogo anu amapita kukagula zinthu. Kapena mwinamwake akalolera phokoso mowonjezereka poyamba ngati mabwenzi anu amangodzacheza kusanade. Ndithudi, kumvana sikotheka nthaŵi zonse ndipo kungakhale bwino koposa kungololera zikhumbo zawo. Mwinamwake mukhoza kukumana ndi mabwenzi anu pamalo ena kapena kuvala mahedifoni pamene mufuna kumvetsera nyimbo. Kodi kumakulandani ufulu? Ndithudi. Koma mwakutero mumathandizira kusungitsa mtendere.

Luso lakulolera limakhalanso lothandiza ngati agogo anu ali ndi zizoloŵezi zimene zimakuvutitsani. Mwachitsanzo, angawonekere kukhala osalemekeza nthaŵi yanu ya kuchita zaumwini. Mwinamwake angafune kukambitsirana pamene muli wotanganidwa kuchita homuweki yanu. Mmalo mokwiya, zindikirani kuti iwo mwinamwake ali osukidwa pang’ono ndipo angokhumba kulankhula nanu. Kudzilekanitsa kapena kuwakwiyira kungangoipitsa mkhalidwewo ndi kusonyeza kusawachitira ulemu. (Miyambo 18:1) Chris wazaka khumi ndi zisanu mphambu zinayi analinganiza njira yogonjera. Iye akuti: “Ndimayamba kulankhula ndi agogo anga akazi panthaŵi yabwino kwa aŵirife.”

Sungani Kukhazikika Kwanu

Bwanji ngati agogo anu afunikira chisamaliro ndi chithandizo chachindunji? Kukonda agogo anu sikumatanthauza kuti muyenera kusenza nokha thayo limeneli. Ndithudi, Baibulo limasonyeza kuti mathayo otero ayenera kugaŵidwa pakati pa ‘ana ndi adzukulu.’ (1 Timoteo 5:4) Chifukwa chake makolo anu ali ndi thayo lalikulu m’nkhaniyi ndipo angathe kusankha limene lingakhale gawo lolungama la ntchitoyo. Ndi iko komwe, 1 Petro 1:13 amafulumiza Akristu ‘kukhala odzisunga,’ kapena monga momwe mawu amtsinde (NW) a vesi limeneli amanenera “khalani okhazikika.” Kuchita gawo lopambanitsa la ntchitoyo kukhoza kukulefulani ndipo, m’kupita kwa nthaŵi, kukulitsa kuipidwa.

Kukhazikika Kwachikristu kudzakuthandizaninso kusamalira zopereŵera zanu limodzi ndi za ziŵalo zabanja lanu. Nzowona kuti, onse ayenera kuyesayesa mwapadera kusonyeza ‘chipatso cha mzimu wa Mulungu.’ (Agalatiya 5:22, 23) Koma mosasamala kanthu za zolinga zabwino koposazo, ziŵalo zabanja zingathe kutayikiridwa ndi kuleza mtima kwawo. Mmalo mokwiya, vomerezani chenicheni chakuti “timakhumudwa tonse pa zinthu zambiri. Munthu akapanda kukhumudwa pa mawu, iye ndiye munthu wangwiro, wokhoza kumanganso thupi lonse.” (Yakobo 3:2) Kusemphana kwa banja kwa apa ndi apo sikuli kwenikweni chochititsa nkhaŵa chachikulu.

Nkhani Zachinsinsi

Ubwino wochuluka ungathe kuchitidwa ngati mukambitsirana kokha ndi makolo anu. “Zolingalira zizimidwa popanda [nkhani zachinsinsi, NW].” (Miyambo 15:22) Mwachitsanzo, kodi muli wopsinjika maganizo ndi wokwiya chifukwa chakuti mulibenso chipinda chanuchanu? Kodi muli ndi nkhaŵa chifukwa chakuti mulingalira kuti mukusenza gawo lopambanitsa la mtolo wakusamalira agogo anu? Mmalo mokhala chete kapena kuchita tondovi, auzeni makolo anu zimene mukulingalira.

Ndithudi, makolo anu iwo eniwo angakhale opsinjika maganizo ndipo angakhale ndi mphamvu zochepa za kusintha zinthu. Chotero pezani nthaŵi yoyenera yolankhula nawo ndi mawu odekha, osati kuwalamulira, mukumalankhula za vutolo monga lanu nonse. (Miyambo 15:23) Nenani mowona mtima ndi momveka pofotokoza zimene zikukuvutani. (Aefeso 4:25) Mavutowo atamveka bwino, mwachiwonekere iwo akhoza kukumvetserani momvera chisoni. Ndipo kungakhaledi kotheka kupeza njira zothetsera zothandiza.

Mwinamwake malo ena m’nyumbamo angapatulidwe kuti muwagwiritsire ntchito pamene mufuna malo a inu nokha oŵerengera kapena ophunzirira. Kapena ntchito zambiri zapanyumba zingagaŵidwe ngati muli ndi azichimwene ndi azichemwali. M’banja lina munagamulidwa kuti mwana wamwamuna wachichepere akaŵerengera agogo ake akazi—chinthu chimene onse aŵiri anasangalala nacho ndi kuchiyembekezera. Azichemwali ake aŵiri anagaŵiridwa kuthandiza kuwaveka ndi kuwasambitsa.

Chokumana Nacho Chofupa

Mosakaikira konse, kukhala ndi agogo panyumba kungakhale chokumana nacho chatsopano m’moyo—kwa iwo ndi kwa inu. Koma ngati nonsenu musonyeza kuleza mtima, chikondi, ndi kufunitsitsa kulolera, kungatsimikizire kukhala chokumana nacho chofupa kwambiri. Mungakhale ndi mwaŵi wa kukulitsa chomangira chaubwenzi ndi chikondi ndi anthu aŵiriwo anzeru ndi achidziŵitso amene kwenikweni amakuderani nkhaŵa. Ubwenzi wotero ungatsimikizire kukhala wokhutiritsa kwambiri kuposa unansi wakanthaŵi ndi tsamwali wanu. Ndipo ungakuthandizeni kukula kukhala munthu wosinkhuka. Msungwana wina wotchedwa Beverly akuti: “Ndimawona kuthandiza agogo anga akazi monga mwaŵi wophunzirira mikhalidwe ya kudzimana imene ndidzafunikira nditakula.”

Wachichepere wina wotchedwa Aaron anatulukira zofananazo. Iye akuti: “Kuthera nthaŵi ndi agogo anga akazi kunandiphunzitsa kulankhula kwa okalamba mumpingo mwathu. Ndinali kungowapatsa moni basi. Tsopano ndimatenga mphindi zingapo kulankhula kwa aliyense wa iwo. Kumandisangalatsa! Ndipo ndafikira pakuwona okalamba ameneŵa monga mabwenzi anga.”

Chotero chitani zoposa kulolera chabe mkhalidwewo; upangeni kukhala chokumana nacho chopindulitsa! M’kupita kwa nthaŵi mungadzafike pakudalitsa tsiku limene agogo anu anadzakhala nanu.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 15]

Ubwenzi umene muli nawo ndi agogo anu ungatsimikiziredi kukhala wokhutiritsa kwambiri