Musalole Kusungulumwa Kuwononga Moyo Wanu

KUSUNGULUMWA kungawononge miyoyo ya achikulire ndi achichepere omwe. Mlembi Judith Viorst akunena motere m’magazini a Redbook: “Kusungulumwa kumatsendereza mtima ngati mwala. . . . Kusungulumwa kumatithetsa nzeru ndi kutitayitsa mtima. Kusungulumwa kumatichititsa kumva monga mwana wopanda amake, monga mwana wa nkhosa wosokera, ochepetsetsa ndi otayika m’dziko lalikulu kwambiri ndi losadera nkhaŵa.”​—September 1991.

Kulekana ndi mabwenzi, malo achilendo, chisudzulo, kufedwa, kapena kuleka kulankhulana​—zinthu zonse zosiyanasiyana zingakuchititseni kukhala wosungulumwa. Anthu ena amasungulumwa kwambiri ngakhale pamene ali pakati pa anthu ena.

Kodi Mungachitenji?

Ngati mukanthidwa ndi kusungulumwa, kodi muyenera kungovutika osachitapo kanthu? Kodi mungathe kuchita chilichonse kuti muletse kusungulumwa kukuwonongani pang’onopang’ono kapena kufooketsa chifuno chanu cha kukhala ndi moyo? Ndithudi mungathe kutero. Pali uphungu wochuluka wothandiza. Ndipo uphungu wabwino wochuluka umaperekedwa m’Mawu ouziridwa a Mulungu, Baibulo. Chilimbikitso choterocho chingakhale chimene mufunikiradi kuti mulimbane ndi kusungulumwa.​—Mateyu 11:28, 29.

Mwachitsanzo, kungakhale kokulimbikitsani kuŵerenga za Rute, mkazi wachichepere yemwe ankakhala ku Middle East pafupifupi zaka 3,000 zapitazo. Iye anali wothekera kwambiri kuvutika ndi kusungulumwa. Pamene mwamuna wake anamwalira, iye anapita ndi apongozi ake kukakhala nawo m’malo achilendo a Israyeli. (Rute 2:11) Ngakhale kuti anasiya banja lake ndi mabwenzi ake akale ndipo anali mlendo m’dziko lachilendo, palibe umboni uliwonse m’Baibulo wosonyeza kuti iye analola kusungulumwa kumsautsa. Mukhoza kuŵerenga nkhani yake m’buku la Baibulo la Rute.

Mofanana ndi Rute, muyenera kukhala ndi kaonedwe ka zinthu kabwino. Njira imene mumalingalirira zinthu ndi zochitika ikhoza kuyambitsa kusungulumwa. Ann, yemwe kwa zaka zinayi anadwazika atate ake matenda ofooketsa kwambiri, akuvomereza zimenezi. Pamene iwo anamwalira iye anasungulumwa kwambiri. “Ndinadzimva ngati kuti ndili m’malere​—monga ngati kuti palibe aliyense amene anandifunanso,” akutero iye. “Koma ndinavomereza chenicheni chakuti moyo wanga tsopano unali utasintha, ndipo ndinazindikira kuti kuti ndipirire ndi kusungulumwa kwanga ndinafunikira kuchitapo kanthu ndi mkhalidwe wanga wa panthaŵiyo.” Nthaŵi zina simungathe kusintha mikhalidwe yanu, koma kuli kothekera kuti mukhoza kusintha njira imene mumaonera mikhalidweyo.

Kukhala wotanganitsidwa ndi ntchito yopindulitsa sindiko yankho lokwanira lothetsera kusungulumwa, ngakhale kuti kumathandizadi. Irene, yemwe anakhala mkazi wamasiye patangopita miyezi isanu ndi umodzi ya ukwati, anapeza zimenezi kukhala zoona kwa iye. “Ndinaona kuti kusungulumwa kunandisautsa kwambiri pamene sindinali wotanganitsidwa kwambiri,” iye akutero, “chotero ndinasumika maganizo pa kuyanjana ndi ena ndi kuwathandiza kupirira mavuto awo.” Kuthandiza ena kumadzetsa chimwemwe, ndipo Akristu osungulumwa angapeze zochita zochuluka m’ntchito ya Ambuye.​—Machitidwe 20:35; 1 Akorinto 15:58.

Lolani Mabwenzi Athandize

The New York Times Magazine imafotokoza ana osungulumwa kukhala opwetekedwa ndi “zilonda za kupanda mabwenzi.” (April 28, 1991) Anthu ambiri osungulumwa, achichepere ndi achikulire omwe, amamva kukhala opanda mabwenzi. Chotero, kumakhala kothandiza kwambiri kukhala ndi ubwenzi weniweni umene mpingo Wachikristu wosamalira umapereka. Gwirani ntchito zolimba kuti mufutukule mpambo wanu wa mabwenzi mkati mwa mpingo, ndipo lolani kuti akuthandizeni m’njira zilizonse zimene angakhoze. Chimenecho ndi chimodzi cha zifukwa zokhalira ndi mabwenzi​—kuchirikiza m’nthaŵi zovuta.​—Miyambo 17:17; 18:24.

Komabe, samalani kuti chifukwa cha kuvutika maganizo kwanu, mungakuchititse kukhala kovuta kwa mabwenzi kukuthandizani. Motani? Mlembi Jeffrey Young akulongosola kuti: “Anthu ena osungulumwa . . . amaingitsa omwe angakhale mabwenzi, kaya mwa kulankhula kwambiri iwo okha pamakambitsirano kapena mwa kunena zinthu zoipa kapena zosayenera. Mwa njira yakutiyakuti, anthu osulungumwa mosalekeza amakhala owononga maunansi abwino.”​—U.S.News & World Report, September 17, 1984.

Nthaŵi zina, mungaipitsiretu zinthu mwa kudzilekanitsa ndi anthu ena. Peter, mwamuna wokhala m’zaka zake za ma 50, anachita zimenezo. Mkazi wake atamwalira, anaona kuti anayamba kudzipatula kwa anthu ena, ngakhale kuti pansi pamtima anafuna thandizo lawo. “Masiku ena,” iye akutero, “sindinafune konse kukhala pamodzi ndi ena, ndipo m’kupita kwa nthaŵi ndinaona kuti ndinali kukhala wosafikirika ndi anthu.” Zimenezi zingakhale zangozi. Pamene kuli kwakuti nyengo za kukhala wekha nzopindulitsa, kudzipatula nkowononga. (Miyambo 18:1) Peter anazindikira zimenezi. Iye akuti: “M’kupita kwa nthaŵi, ndinalaka zimenezi, ndinayang’anizana ndi mkhalidwewo, ndipo, ndi thandizo la mabwenzi anga, ndinakhoza kuumbanso moyo wanga.”

Komabe, musalingalire kuti ena ali ndi thayo linalake la kukuthandizani. Yesani kusakhala wopempha molamulira. Landirani mosangalala kachitidwe ka chifundo kalikonse kamene kangasonyezedwe kwa inu, ndipo sonyezani chiyamikiro. Komanso kumbukirani uphungu wabwino wopezeka pa Miyambo 25:17 wakuti: “Phazi lako lilowe m’nyumba ya mnzako kamodzikamodzi; kuti angatope nawe ndi kukuda.” Frances, yemwe anayang’anizana ndi kusungulumwa kwakukulu pamene mwamuna wake anamwalira pambuyo pa zaka 35 za ukwati, akulingalira kuti chenjezo loterolo nlofunika kwambiri. “Khalani wodekha pa zimene mukuyembekezera,” iye akutero, “ndipo musafune zochuluka kwambiri kwa ena. Musamafike kaŵirikaŵiri pakhomo la munthu kukapempha thandizo.”

Yehova Amasamala

Ngakhale ngati mabwenzi aumunthu akugwiritsani mwala nthaŵi zina, mungakhalebe ndi Yehova Mulungu monga Bwenzi lanu. Khalani otsimikiza kuti iye amakusamalani. Khalani ndi chidaliro cholimba mwa iye, ndipo pitirizani kuthaŵira m’chisamaliro chake chotetezera. (Salmo 27:10; 91:1, 2; Miyambo 3:5, 6) Rute Mmoabuyo anachita zimenezi ndipo anadalitsidwa kwambiri. Eya, iye anakhala ngakhale kholo lachikazi la Yesu Kristu!​—Rute 2:12; 4:17; Mateyu 1:5, 16.

Pempherani kwa Yehova nthaŵi zonse. (Salmo 34:4; 62:7, 8) Margaret anaona pemphero kukhala lomlimbikitsa kwambiri polimbana ndi kusungulumwa. Iye anakhala ndi phande mu utumiki wanthaŵi yonse ndi mwamuna wake kufikira pamene mwamunayo anamwalira adakali wachinyamata. “Nthaŵi zonse ndimakuona kukhala kwabwino kupemphera mofuula ndi kuuza Yehova kalikonse, zonse zondichititsa mantha ndi zondidetsa nkhaŵa,” iye akutero. “Zimenezo zinandithandiza kuona zinthu ndi lingaliro labwino pamene ndinakanthidwa ndi kusungulumwa. Ndipo kuona Yehova akuyankha mapemphero amenewo kunandipatsa chidaliro.” Iye amapindula kwambiri mwa kutsatira uphungu wa mtumwi Petro wakuti: “Potero dzichepetseni pansi pa dzanja la mphamvu la Mulungu, kuti panthaŵi yake akakukwezeni; ndi kutaya pa Iye nkhaŵa yanu yonse, pakuti Iye asamalira inu.”​—1 Petro 5:6, 7; Salmo 55:22.

Unansi wabwino ndi Yehova udzakuthandizani kubwezeretsa chinthu chimene kaŵirikaŵiri chimatayidwa ndi anthu osungulumwa​—kudziona kukhala wofunika. Pamene mwamuna wake anamwalira ndi kansa, mtolankhani Jeannette Kupfermann analemba za “malingaliro akudziona wosafunikira ndi wopanda pake.” Iye anati: “Ndi lingaliro la kupanda pake limeneli limene limachititsa akazi amasiye ochuluka kukhala ndi maganizo opsinjika ofuna kudzipha.”

Kumbukirani kuti Yehova amakuonani kukhala wofunika kwambiri. Iye samalingalira kuti muli wopanda pake. (Yohane 3:16) Mulungu adzakuchirikizani monga momwe anachirikizira anthu ake Aisrayeli m’nthaŵi zakale. Iye anati kwa iwo: “Sindinakutaya kunja; usawope, pakuti Ine ndili pamodzi ndi iwe; usawopsedwe, pakuti Ine ndine Mulungu wako; ndidzakulimbitsa; inde, ndidzakuthangata; inde, ndidzakuchirikiza ndi dzanja langa lamanja la chilungamo.”​—Yesaya 41:9, 10.

Musaimbe Mlandu Mulungu

Chofunika koposa, musaimbe mlandu Mulungu kaamba ka kusungulumwa kwanu. Yehova sindiye ali ndi mlandu. Chifuno chake nthaŵi zonse chakhala chakuti inuyo, limodzi ndi mtundu wonse wa anthu, mukhale ndi unansi wabwino ndi wokhutiritsa. Pamene Mulungu analenga Adamu, iye anati: “Sikwabwino kuti munthu akhale yekha; ndidzampangira womthangatira iye.” (Genesis 2:18) Ndipo zimenezo nzimene Mulungu anachita pamene analenga Hava, mkazi woyamba. Pakadapanda chipanduko chausatana, mwamuna ndi mkazi limodzi ndi mabanja omwe anabala akadakhala osasungulumwa konse.

Zoona, kulolera kuipa kwakanthaŵi kwa Yehova kwalola kusungulumwa kukula ndi kukhalapo kwa mitundu ina ya kuvutika. Komabe, musaiŵale konse kuti zimenezi nzakanthaŵi. Ziyeso za kusungulumwa zimaoneka kukhala zosavuta kwambiri kupirira polingalira zimene Mulungu adzakuchitirani m’dziko latsopano. Pakali pano iye adzakuchirikizani ndi kukutonthozani.​—Salmo 18:2; Afilipi 4:6, 7.

Kudziŵa zimenezi kungakupatseni nyonga. Pamene Frances (wotchulidwa poyamba) anakhala mkazi wamasiye, iye anapeza chitonthozo chachikulu kwambiri m’mawu a Salmo 4:8, makamaka usiku akuti: “Ndi mtendere ndidzagona pansi, pomwepo ndidzagona tulo; chifukwa Inu, Yehova, mundikhalitsa ine, ndikhale bwino.” Sinkhasinkhani pa mawu oterowo onga opezeka m’buku la Masalmo. Lingalirani za mmene Mulungu amakusamalirirani, monga momwe kwanenedwera pa Salmo 23:1-3.

Kodi Osungulumwa Angathandizidwe Motani?

Njira yaikulu yothandizira osungulumwa ndiyo kuwasonyeza chikondi. Nthaŵi ndi nthaŵi Baibulo limalimbikitsa anthu a Mulungu kusonyezana chikondi, makamaka m’nthaŵi zovuta. “M’chikondano cha anzanu wina ndi mnzake mukondane ndi chikondi chenicheni,” analemba motero mtumwi Paulo. (Aroma 12:10) Kwenikweni, Mawu ouziridwa a Mulungu amanena kuti: “Chikondi sichitha nthaŵi zonse.” (1 Akorinto 13:8) Kodi mungasonyeze motani chikondi kwa osungulumwa?

M’malo mwa kukana kapena kunyalanyaza anthu osungulumwa, anthu odera nkhaŵa angasonyeze chifundo chawo mwa kuwathandiza moleza mtima pamene kuli kotheka. Iwo angakhale monga mwamunayo Yobu, yemwe anati: “Pakuti ndinapulumutsa wozunzika wakufuula; mwana wamasiye yemwe wosowa mthandizi. . . . Ndi mtima wa mkazi wamasiye ndinauimbitsa mokondwera.” (Yobu 29:12, 13) Akulu oikidwa mumpingo Wachikristu ndi mabwenzi achifundo akhoza kuchita mwanjira yachifundo yofananayo mwa kupereka zofunikira zazikulu za anthu za kumvetsetsa, chikondi, ndi chitonthozo. Iwo akhoza kusonyeza chifundo kwa ena, ndipo nthaŵi zina akhoza kukwaniritsa chosoŵa cha kukambitsirana zamseri.​—1 Petro 3:8.

Kaŵirikaŵiri, ndi zinthu zazing’ono zimene mabwenzi amachitira anthu osungulumwa zimene zili zofunika kwambiri. Mwachitsanzo, pamene wokhulupirira mnzathu ataya wokondedwa mu imfa, chitonthozo chachikulu chikhoza kuperekedwa mwa machitidwe a kukoma mtima a bwenzi lenileni. Musanyalanyaze zinthu zazing’ono za kukoma mtima, monga kuitanira ku chakudya, kukhala mmvetseri wachifundo, kapena makambitsirano olimbikitsana. Zinthu zimenezi zimathandiza kwambiri munthu kugonjetsa kusungulumwa.​—Ahebri 13:16.

Mothekera, tonsefe tidzakanthidwa ndi kusungulumwa panthaŵi ndi nthaŵi. Komabe, kusungulumwa sikutofunikira kukhala mliri. Dzazani moyo wanu ndi zochita zatanthauzo ndi zothandiza. Lolani mabwenzi athandize pamene akhoza. Khalani ndi chidaliro mwa Yehova Mulungu. Khalani mukukumbukira lonjezo lolimbikitsa lolembedwa pa Salmo 34:19 lakuti: “Masautso a wolungama mtima achuluka: koma Yehova amlanditsa mwa onsewa.” Tembenukirani kwa Yehova kaamba ka chithandizo, ndipo musalole kusungulumwa kuwononga moyo wanu.

[Bokosi patsamba 24]

NJIRA ZINA ZOLIMBANIRA NDI KUSUNGULUMWA

▪ Khalani pafupi ndi Yehova

▪ Funani chitonthozo mwa kuŵerenga Baibulo

▪ Khalani ndi kaonedwe kabwino ka zinthu Kachikristu

▪ Khalani wotanganitsidwa m’ntchito yatanthauzo

▪ Futukulani mpambo wanu wa mabwenzi

▪ Chititsani mkhalidwewo kukhala wosavuta kwa mabwenzi kuthandiza

▪ Musadzipatule panokha, koma kulitsani chikondi cha mayanjano

▪ Khalani ndi chidaliro chakuti Yehova amakusamalani

[Bokosi patsamba 24]

MMENE MUNGATHANDIZIRE OSUNGULUMWA

▪ Khalani womvetsetsa, wachikondi, ndi wotonthoza

▪ Onani kufunika kwa kukambitsirana zamseri

▪ Chitani khama pakuchita zinthu zazing’ono zimene zimathandiza

[Chithunzi patsamba 23]

Mosasamala kanthu za mikhalidwe yake yovuta, palibe umboni uliwonse wakuti Rute analola kusungulumwa kuwononga moyo wake