Kodi Mumacheza ndi a M’banja Lanu?

“ATATE a ku Japan Amakondedwa​—Ngakhale Kuti Amatanganidwa ndi Ntchito Osapeza Nthaŵi Yoseŵera ndi Ana Awo.” Zaka zingapo zapitazo, m’nyuzipepala ina yotchedwa Mainichi Shimbun inali ndi mutu umenewo. Nkhani yake inati 88.7 peresenti ya ana a ku Japan omwe anafunsidwa pakafukufuku wa boma, ananena kuti anali kufuna kudzasamala abambo awo m’tsogolo. Komabe, nyuzipepala yokhayokhayo, pamene inatuluka m’Chingelezi, nkhani yake inali ndi mutu wina. Umenewo unati: “Abambo ndi Ana​—Pali Kusasamalana.” Nkhani ya m’nyuzipepala yachingelezi imeneyi inasiyana ndi ya m’nyuzipepala yachijapani, chifukwa yachingeleziyo inatchulanso mfundo ina pakafukufuku yemweyo, kuti: Tsiku lililonse logwira ntchito, abambo a ku Japan anali kucheza ndi ana awo mphindi 36 zokha. Poyerekezera ndi abambo a ku West Germany, iwowo anali kucheza ndi ana awo mphindi 44 patsiku la mkati mwa mlungu, ndipo a ku United States, mphindi 56.

Si kuti ndi abambo okha amene sapeza nthaŵi yokwanira yocheza ndi ana awo. Amayinso ambiri amagwira ntchito yolembedwa. Mwachitsanzo, amayi ambiri omwe ali mbeta amayenera kugwira ntchito yolembedwa kuti azichirikiza banja lawo. N’chifukwa chake makolo​—bambo ndi mayi omwe​—nthaŵi imene amacheza ndi ana awo ili yochepa kwambiri.

Ku America, pakafukufuku wa mu 1997 wa achinyamata oposa 12,000 azaka zapakati pa 13 ndi 19, zinaoneka kuti ana okondana ndi makolo awo si kaŵirikaŵiri kuvutika maganizo, kukhala ndi maganizo ofuna kudzipha, kuchita chiwawa, kapena kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza ubongo. Wina wa ofufuzawo yemwe anachita nawo kafukufuku wamkulu ameneyo anati: “Simungakhale paunansi wathithithi ndi ana anu ngati simucheza nawo ndipo ngati mumawatalikira pamene iwo akukufunani.” Kucheza ndi ana anu ndi kulankhula nawo n’chinthu chofunika.

Kulephera Kulankhulana

Makamaka mabanja aja amene kholo limachokapo kukakhala kutali kogwira ntchito, ndiwo amene amalankhulana movutikira. Sitikuti mabanja okhawo amene amalankhulana movutikira ndiwo aja amene kholo lawo limakhala kutali iyayi. Makolo ena, ngakhale amakhala panyumba pompo, amapita kuntchito ana awo asanadzuke ndipo amafika panyumba ana atagona. Makolo ena amacheza ndi mabanja awo kumapeto kwa mlungu ndi pamasiku a tchuthi, chifukwa chakuti pamapita nthaŵi yaitali asakuonana. Amati zili bwino kupeza nthaŵi “yocheza ndi ana [awo] ndi kuwaphunzitsa zinthu.”

Komabe, kodi utali wa nthaŵiyo n’ngwosafunika malinga ngati pamakhalabe nthaŵi ina yocheza? Wofufuza wina, Laurence Steinberg, anayankha kuti: “Nthaŵi zonse, ana amene amacheza kwambiri ndi makolo awo amakhala bwino kwambiri kuposa ana amene sacheza kwambiri ndi makolo awo. N’kovuta kwambiri kupeza china chowapatsa anawo m’malo mwa nthaŵi imene timalephera kucheza nawo. Anthu ambiri amaganiza kuti zilibe kanthu kucheza ndi ana nthaŵi yochepa, malinga ngati acheza bwino, koma zimenezo si zoona.” Mkazi wina wa ku Burma nayenso amaona kuti zimenezo si zoona kumene. Mwamuna wake​—monga mmene alili amuna a ku Japan​—pochokera kuntchito amafika panyumba 1 koloko kapena 2 koloko m’bandakucha. Ngakhale kuti mwamunayo amacheza ndi banja lake kumapeto kwa mlungu, mkazi wakeyo anati: “Kukhala kwake panyumba Loŵeruka ndi Lamlungu sikubwezabe nthaŵi imene iye sakhalapo mlungu wonsewo. . . . Kodi munthu angaleke kudya zakudya zonse pakati pa mlungu, akumati zakudya zonse za mlunguwo adzazidya Loŵeruka ndi Lamlungu?”

Mufunikira Kuyesetsa Ndithu

Kumasukirana m’banja kumakhala ngati kosavuta koma n’kovuta. Ngati bambo kapena mayi amagwira ntchito kuti azipezera banja lawo zofunika, si chinthu chapafupi kumacheza ndi a m’banja lawo. Ena amene amafunikira kukagwira ntchito kutali ndi kwawo amalankhulana nthaŵi zonse pafoni kapena mwakulemberana makalata. Komabe zilibe kanthu kuti kaya makolo ali panyumba onse kapena kuti ali kutali, afunikira kuyesetsa kumalankhulana bwino ndi a m’banja.

Makolo amene amanyalanyaza kulankhulana ndi a m’banja lawo adzaona kuipa kwake. Bambo wina yemwe sanali kucheza kwambiri ndi a m’banja lake, ngakhale kudyera nawo pamodzi, anadzasimba tsoka. Mwana wake wamwamuna anasanduka wachiwawa, ndipo mwana wamkazi anagwidwa akuba m’sitolo. Tsiku lina Lamlungu pamene bamboyo anali kukonzekera kupita koseŵera golf, mwana wake wamwamuna anakalipa kuti: “Kodi pakhomo pano kholo ndi mayi basi? Mayi ndiwo amaganizira zochita zonse m’banja muno. Bambo, inuyo simu . . . . ”

Bamboyo atamva mawu amenewo anangoti dwii. Kenaka anaganiza kuti, monga poyambira adyere pamodzi ndi banja lake mfisulo. Poyamba, iyeyo ndi mkazi wake anayamba kudyera pamodzi. M’kupita kwa nthaŵi ana nawonso anayamba kukhalapo, mpaka thebulo linadzakhala malo abwino ochezera pakudya m’maŵa. Zitatero onsewo anayamba kumadyera pamodzi ndi madzulo omwe. Choncho, bamboyo anali atayamba kuyesetsa kupulumutsa banja lake limene linatsala pang’ono kulekeratu kulankhulana.

Thandizo la m’Mawu a Mulungu

Baibulo limalimbikitsa makolo kumapeza nthaŵi yocheza ndi ana awo. Aisrayeli analangizidwa kudzera mwa mneneri Mose, kuti: “Imvani, Israyeli, Yehova Mulungu wathu, Yehova ndiye mmodzi. Ndipo muzikonda Yehova Mulungu wanu ndi mtima wanu wonse, ndi moyo wanu wonse, ndi mphamvu yanu yonse. Ndipo mawu aŵa ndikuuzani lero, azikhala pamtima panu; ndipo muziwaphunzitsa mwachangu kwa ana anu, ndi kuwalankhula aŵa pokhala pansi, m’nyumba zanu, ndi poyenda inu panjira, ndi pogona inu pansi, ndi pouka inu.” (Deuteronomo 6:4-7) Inde, ife amene tili makolo tiyenera kuyamba ndife kucheza ndi ana athu kuti tiwaphunzitse mawu a Mulungu mpaka ataloŵa mumtima ndi m’maganizo mwawo.

N’zodabwitsa kuti mwa achinyamata 12,000 a ku America amene tatchula poyamba paja kuti anafufuzidwa pakafukufuku mu 1997, zinaoneka kuti “pafupifupi 88% . . . ya anthu amene ananena kuti ali ndi chipembedzo, anali kuona kuti chipembedzocho limodzi ndi pemphero zinali zofunika monga choteteza.” Akristu oona amadziŵa kuti akamaphunzitsa ana zachipembedzo panyumba, anawo amatetezeka ku zinthu monga kumwa mankhwala osokoneza ubongo, kuvutika maganizo, kuganiza zodzipha, kukhala achiwawa, ndi zina zotero.

Makolo ena amaona kuti n’zovuta kupeza nthaŵi yocheza ndi a m’banja lawo. Makamaka amayi omwe ali mbeta, amene bwenzi akumakondwa kukhala ndi ana awo koma amalephera chifukwa chakuti ayenera kupita kuntchito. Kodi angayesetse bwanji kupeza nthaŵi yabwino yocheza ndi ana awo? Baibulo limati: “Sunga nzeru yeniyeni ndi kulingalira.” (Miyambo 3:21) Makolo ‘angalingalire’ mmene angapezere nthaŵi yochezera ndi ana awo. Mwanjira iti?

Ngati muli mayi wogwira ntchito ndipo mutaŵeruka mumakhala wotopa, bwanji osapempha ana anu kuti akuthandizeni kuphika chakudya? Nthaŵi ngati imeneyo yochitira zinthu pamodzi ingakhalenso mpata wabwino woti muyandikane. Poyamba, zingatenge nthaŵi yambiri pochita zinthu ndi ana anu. Komabe, posakhalitsa mudzaona kuti zayamba kukusangalatsani ndi kutinso simukuwononga nthaŵi yambiri.

Mwina ndinu bambo wokhala ndi zochita zambiri kumapeto kwa mlungu. Ntchito zimenezo bwanji osazichitira pamodzi ndi ana anu? Mungamalankhulane mukugwira ntchito nonse ndipo panthaŵi yomweyonso mukumawaphunzitsa zinthu zofunika. Baibulo polangiza kuti muziphunzitsa ana anu mawu a Mulungu likukulimbikitsani kumalankhula nawo “pokhala inu m’nyumba zanu, ndi poyenda inu panjira”​—tingoti pampata uliwonse ndithu. Mutamalankhulana ndi ana anu pogwira nawo ntchito ndiye kuti muli ndi “nzeru yeniyeni.”

Kucheza ndi a m’banja lanu n’kopindulitsa nthaŵi zonse. Mwambo wina wa Baibulo umati: “Omwe anauzidwa uphungu ali ndi nzeru.” (Miyambo 13:10) Mutamapeza nthaŵi yolankhulana ndi a m’banja lanu, mudzakhoza kuwalangiza mwanzeru mmene angachitire ndi mavuto a tsiku ndi tsiku m’moyo wawo. Mutawalangiza tsopano lino, mudzaona kuti kutsogolo konse mukupitaku mudzapeŵa chisoni. Ndiponso, nonsenu, inu ndi iwowo, mudzakhala achimwemwe. Kuti muwalangize bwino, muyenera kutenga nzeru yambiri yopezeka m’Mawu a Mulungu, Baibulo. Ligwiritsireni ntchito kuphunzitsira ana anu ndi kutsogoza mapazi a anthu a m’banja lanu.​—Salmo 119:105.

[Chithunzi patsamba 4]

Ana okhala paunansi wathithithi ndi makolo awo si kaŵirikaŵiri kuvutika maganizo

[Chithunzi patsamba 5]

Kulankhulana bwino kumapindulitsa kwambiri pamoyo wabanja

[Chithunzi patsamba 6]

Mmene mukugwira ntchito ndi mwana wanu, mungamalankhulane mukumam’phunzitsanso zinthu zofunika