Kusangalala Unansi Wabwino wa Apongozi

FUJIKO, mpongozi wosautsidwa wotchulidwa m’nkhani yoyambirira, pomalizira pake anakakamiza mwamuna wake kusamuka m’nyumba ya makolo ake ndikupita panyumba yoyandikana. Koma zinthu sizinawongokere kwambiri. kudodometsa kochitidwa ndi apongozi ndi azilamu ake kunapitirizabe, ndipo mkwati wake anazengerezabe. Kenaka mlendo wina anamfikira.

Kucheza kumeneko kunayambitsa Fujiko kulowa panjira imene inachititsa kusintha kwake, ndipo zimenezi zinawongolera unansi wake ndi ena. Anayamba kuphunzira Baibulo ndi Mboni za Yehova. M’kupita kwanthaŵi, mkhalidwe wake unasintha kwambiri kotero kuti bambo wa mwamuna wake anafuna kupezeka pa maphunzirowo kuti akadziwonere ‘chimene chinali chipembedzo chomwe chinamsintha motero.’

Kuzindikira Chomangira Chatsopano

Baibulo limapereka chithunzi chabwino cha kakonzedwe kaukwati Wam’malemba. Pamene Mulungu analenga aŵiri oyambirira ndikuwaika pamodzi, iye anakhazikitsa lamulo lotsatirapo iri: “Mwamuna adzasiya atate wake ndi amake nadzaphatika kwa mkazi wake: ndipo adzakhala thupi limodzi” (Genesis 2:24) Chotero okwatirana chatsopanowo ayenera kuzindikira kuti iwo aloŵa m’chomangira chatsopano. Iwo tsopano ayenera kumamatirana monga banja loima palokha ngakhale ngati angakhale ndi apongozi ndi azilamu awo.

Komabe, kusiya atate ndi amayi, sikumatanthauza kuti pamene ana akwatirana ayenera kunyalanyaza makolo awo ndikuti sakufunikiranso kuwalemekeza ndi kuwapatsa ulemu. “Usapeputse amako atakalamba,” ikulangiza tero Baibulo. (Miyambo 23:22) Komabe, mu ukwati, muli kusintha kwa m’maunansi. Malinga ngati chiŵalo chirichonse chabanja chikumbukira mfundoyi, okwatirana achichepere angapindule ndi zokumana nazo ndi nzeru za makolo.

Timoteo, mnyamata waulemu amene mtumwi Paulo anapita naye pamaulendo ake aumishonale, analeredwa ndi amake Achiyuda, Yunike. Komabe, mwachiwonekere agogo ake Loisi anathandizira m’kuumbidwa kwake. (2 Timoteo 1:5; 3:15) Izi sizimatanthauza kuti agogo achikazi ali ndi kuyenera kwa kudodometsa m’kulangiza mwana ndi kukhazikitsa miyezo yosiyana ndi yamakolo ake. Pali njira yoyenerera imene okalamba angathandize nayo achicheperewo kulangiza ana.—Tito 2:3-5.

‘Mkazi Wanzerudi’

Kuti mabanja aŵiri agwirizane m’nkhani yovuta yoteroyo yonga kulangiza mwana, onsewo ayenera kuchita mwanzeru. ‘Mkazi wanzerudi amanga banja lake,’ ukutero mwambi wa Baibulo, “koma wopusa alipasula ndi manja ake.” (Miyambo 14:1) Kodi mkazi angamange bwanji banja lake? Tomiko akunena kuti kunali kukambitsirana kumene kunamthandiza kukonza unansi wake ndi mkazi wa mwana wake, Fujiko. “Zolingalira zizimidwa popanda upo,” ikulangiza tero Baibulo.—Miyambo 15:22.

Kukambitsirana sikumatanthauza kulankhula monjereweta zakukhosi zanu zonse popanda kusamala malingalira a ena. Apa ndi pamene nzeru iyenera kugwira ntchito. “Munthu wanzeru adzamvetsera” zimene ena afuna kunena. Nthaŵi zina apongozi ndi alamu anu angakhale ndi china chake chonena, koma amazengereza kulankhula. Khalani wozindikira, ndipo ‘tulutsani malingaliro awo.’ Ndiyeno ‘sinkhasinkhani’ musanalankhule.—Miyambo 1:5; 15:28; 20:5.

Kudziŵa nthaŵi yonena chinthu nkofunika kwambiri. “Mawu oyenera a panthaŵi yake akunga zipatso zagolidi m’nsengwa zasiliva,” ukutero mwambi wa Baibulo. (Miyambo 25:11) Tokiko ndi mkazi wa mwana wake akuti iwo amayembekezera nthaŵi yoyenerera asananene ziganizo zimene zingamvedwe molakwika ndi winayo. “Ndimayesayesa kuganiza ndisanalankhule pamene ndifuna kutchula kanthu kena kwa mpongozi wanga,” akutero Tokiko. “Ndimasunga ziganizo m’maganizo mwanga ndikuziturutsa pamene ali wosangalala ndi wopanda njala. Mwaona nanga, kuli kosavuta kukwiyitsidwa pamene muli ndi njala.”

Mkazi wanzeru adzapewa kulankhula zoipa ponena za apongozi ndi azilamu ake. “Kaya ndife apongozi kapena akazi a ana awo, tiyenera kuzindikira kuti zoipa zirizonse zimene timalankhula ponena za ena, pomalizira pake adzazidziŵa,” akutero Sumie Tanaka, mlembi wa ku Japan amene anakhala ndi apongozi ake kwa zaka 30. Mmalomwake, iye akulimbikitsa kulankhula zabwino ponena za azipongozi ndi azilamu pamene mulankhula nawo poyera kapena za iwo.

Pamenepa, bwanji ngati azipongozi ndi azilamu anu salabadira moyanja zoyesayesa zanuzo?

Khalani Wokhululukira

Kaŵirikaŵiri mavuto oipitsitsa pakati pa apongozi amachokera m’zinthu zimene sizikadapanga vuto lirilonse ngati zikadanenedwa kapena kuchitidwa ndi munthu wina. Popeza kuti tonsefe ndife opanda ungwiro ndipo “timalakwa mmawu,” nthaŵi zina ‘tingalankhule mwansontho ngati kupyoza kwa lupanga.’ (Yakobo 3:2; Miyambo 12:18) Komabe, kuli kwanzeru kusakwiyitsidwa ndi liwu lirilonse lopanda pake.

Awo amene alaka mavuto achipongozi alabadira uphungu wa Baibulo wakuti: “Pitirizani kulolelana wina ndi mnzake, ndi kukhululukirana eni nokha, ngati wina ali nacho chifukwa pa mnzake.” (Akolose 3:13) Zowona, sikungakhale kopepuka kupilira ndi azipongozi ndi kuwakhululukira, makamaka ngati pali chifukwa chodandaulira. Koma magwero amphamvu ochitira motero ndiwo chitsimikiziro chakuti nafenso tidzakhululukidwa ndi Mulungu mwini kaamba ka zophophonya zathu.—Mateyu 6:14, 15.

Ngakhale m’maiko Akum’maŵa, kumene anthu mwachizolowezi amatsatira Chibuda, Chitao, Chikonfyushani, ndi Chishinto, pali ambiri amene aphunzira Baibulo ndipo afikira pakuyamikira chowonadi chonena za Mlengi wachifundo. Chiyamikiro choterocho chawathandiza kulaka owonekera kukhala malingaliro osalakika a kutetana.

‘Chikondi Sichimalephera’

Unansi wachimwemwe pakati pa apongozi umafunikira maziko odalirika. Kuthandiza mpongozi wokalamba kapena wodwala kudziŵa thayo lake kaŵirikaŵiri sikumapanga unansi wabwino. Haruko anazindikira chimenechi pamene apongozi ake anali kudwala kensa. Iye anathera yochulukira ya nthaŵi yake ali m’chipatala akumasamalira apongozi ake, ndipo kuwonjezera pa izi, iye ankasamalira banja lake. Iye anali wotsenderezeka kwambiri kotero kuti pomalizira pake tsitsi lake lochulukira linathothoka.

Tsiku lina pamene ankawenga zala za apongozi ake, mosadziŵa anawasadzula. “Iwe sumandisamaladi ine!” anatafula motero apongozi akewo.

Atakwiyitsidwa ndi mawu osayamikirawo, Haruko analakatitsa misozi. Pamenepo anazindikira kuti mawuwo anavulaza kwambiri chifukwa chakuti anali kuchitira apongozi akewo chirichonse mosenza thayo lake. Iye anasankha chikondi kuti chikhale mphamvu yosonkhezera utumiki wake. (Aefeso 5:1, 2) Izi zinamtheketsa kulaka malingaliro ake oipidwawo ndipo zotulukapo zake zinali kubwezeretsedwa kwa unansi ndi apongozi ake kufikira imfa yawo.

Ndithudi, chikondi monga momwe chafotokozedwera m’Baibulo ndicho njira yothetsera kusamvana m’mabanja. Werengani zimene mtumwi Paulo ananena za icho, muwone ngati simuvomereza. Iye analemba kuti, “chikondi chikhala chilezere.” “Chikondi sichidukidwa; chikondi sichidziŵa kudzitama, sichidzikuza, sichichita zosayenera, sichitsata za mwini yekha, sichipsa mtima, sichilingalira zoipa; sichikondwera ndi chinyengo, koma chikondwera ndi chowonadi; chikwirira zinthu zonse, chikhulupirira zinthu zonse, chiyembekeza zinthu zonse, chipirira zinthu zonse.” Mposadabwitsa kuti Paulo anawonjezera kuti: ‘Chikondi sichilephera.’ (1 Akorinto 13:4-8) Kodi ndimotani mmene mungakulitsire chikondi choterocho?

Baibulo limandandalika “chikondi” kukhala mbali ya “ziphatso” za mzimu wa Mulungu. (Agakatiya 5:22, 23) Chotero, kuwonjezera pa zoyesayesa zanu, kuli kofunika kukhala ndi mzimu wa Mulungu ngati muti mukulitse mtundu umenewu wa chikondi. Ndiponso, mungapemphe Yehova, Mulungu wa Baibulo, kukuthandizani kuti akuwonjezereni chikondi chofanana ndi chake. (1 Yohane 4:8) Ndithudi, zonsezi, zimafunikira kuti muphunzire za iye mwa kuphunzira Mawu ake, Baibulo. Mboni za Yehova zidzakhala zosangalala kwenikweni kukuthandizani, monga momwe zinachitira kwa Fujiko ndi ena ambiri.

Pamene mugwiritsira ntchito zimene muphunzira kuchokera m’Baibulo, mudzapeza kuti sikokha kuti unansi wanu ndi Mulungu udzawongokera komanso unansi wanu ndi aliyense wokhala pafupi nanu, kuphatikizapo apongozi anu. Mudzakhala ndi chimene Baibulo limalonjeza, ndiko kuti, “mtendere wa Mulungu wakupambana chidziŵitso chonse.”—Afilipi 4:6, 7.

Fujiko ndi ena otchulidwa m’nkhani zino anadzasangalala ndi mtendere woterowo—ndipo inunso mungatero. Inde, mwa kuyang’ana kwa Yehova Mulungu ndi kutsatira uphungu wa Mawu ake, Baibulo, inunso mungapange ndi kusunga unansi wabwino ndi apongozi anu.

[Bokosi pamasamba 24, 25]

Mwamuna Kodi Ndiwopanga Mtendere Kapena Wowononga Mtendere?

Pamene mibadwo iŵiri kapena itatu ikhala m’nyumba imodzi, thayo la mwamuna m’kusunga mtendere wabanja siliyenera kunyalanyazidwa. Ponena za mwamuna aliyense amene amazemba thayo lake, Profesa Tohru Arichi wa pa Yunivesite ya Kyushu, katswiri m’zamakhalidwe abanja, akulemba kuti:

“Pamene okwatiranawo akhala ndi [amayi], mayiyo amawona zosoŵa za mwana wakeyo, ndipo mwachibadwa amasamalira mwana wake wamwamunayo pamene awona kusoŵako. Mwana wamwamunayo amalabadira chisamalirocho mosazengereza. Ngat mwanayo akanaganizira pang’ono mkhalidwe wamkazi wake ndikuika mayi wake pamalo awo ponena za kulowerera kwawo, vutolo likanathetsedwa. Mwachisoni, kaŵirikaŵiri mwanayo samaganizira zimenezo.”

Pamenepa, kodi ndimotani mmene mwamuna angakhalire ndi mbali yokangalika m’kupanga mtendere m’banja lake? Mitsuharu akunena kuti kugwiritsira ntchito kwake malamulo a makhalidwe abwino a Baibulo kunathandiza banja lake. “Chomangira pakati pa amai ndi mwana wawo wamwamuna nchamphamvu kwanbiri ngakhale kuti mwanayo wakula kukhala mwamuna wachikulire,” iye akuvomereza tero, “chotero mwana ayenera kupanga kuyesayesa kwamphamvu ‘kusiya atate wake ndi amake ndi kukamamatira kwa mkazi wake.’” Iye anagwiritsira ntchito lamulo la makhalidwe abwino mwa kukambitsirana nkhani zokhudza kusamalira ndi kulangiza ana ndi mkazi wake yekha, ndipo sanayerekezere mkazi wake kwa amake ponena za ntchito panyumba. “Tsopano,” iye akupitiriza tero, “ife ndi makolo anga timalemekezana. Aliyense wa ife amadziŵa nthaŵi pamene kuloŵerera kudzakanidwa ndi pamene thandizo ndi kugwirizanika zidzayamikirika.”

Kuwonjezera pa ‘kumamatira kwa mkazi wake,’ mwamuna ayenera kukhala mtetezi pakati pa amake ndi mkazi wake. (Genesis 2:24) Ayenera kukhala womvetsera wabwino ndi kuwalola kutsanulira zakukhosi kwawo. (Miyambo 20:5) Mwamuna wina wokwatira, amene waphunzira kusamalira mikhalidweyo mwaluso, choyamba amafuna kudziŵa m’mene mkazi wake akulingalira. Pamenepo, iye amalankhula kwa amake za nkhaniyo, pamaso pa mkazi wake. Mwakusenza thayo lake mwanjirayo monga wopanga mtendere, mwana wamwamunayo angathandizire kupanga maunansi osangalatsa m’banja pakati pa akazi aŵiri amene iye amakonda.

[Chithunzi patsamba 25]

Mvetserani ndipo kambitsiranani

[Chithunzi patsamba 26

Chikondi, osati kusenzedwa kwa thayo, ndicho chimene chimapanga maunansi abwino