Kodi Chofunika Ndi Chiyani Kuti Ukwati Ukhale Wabwino?

Kodi mungaganize zolumphira mu mtsinje musanadziŵe kaye kusambira? Kusimbwa ngati kumeneko kungakupwetekeni​—ngakhale kukuphani. Koma taganizani kaye za kuchuluka kwa anthu amene amathamangira kukwatira asakudziŵa kwenikweni mmene angasamalire maudindo a ukwati.

YESU anati: “Ndani wa inu amene akafuna kumanga nsanja yaitali, sathanga wakhala pansi, naŵerengera mtengo wake, aone ngati ali nazo zakuimaliza?” (Luka 14:28) Zofunika pomanga nsanja n’zofunikanso pomanga ukwati. Pofuna kuonetsetsa kuti angakwanitse zimene ukwati umafuna, munthu amene akufuna kuloŵa mu ukwati ayenera kuŵerengera mtengo wake mosamalitsa.

Kupenda Ukwati

Kukhala ndi mnzako wokhala naye panthaŵi zokondweretsa ndi zachisoni pamoyo wako ndi dalitso lalikulu. Ukwati ungathetse mphwayi imene munthu umakhala nayo chifukwa chosukidwa. Ungakhutiritse chilakolako chathu chobadwa nacho chofuna kukondedwa, ubwenzi, ndi kudziŵana. Pachifukwa chabwino, Mulungu atalenga Adamu anati: “Si kwabwino kuti munthu akhale yekha; ndidzam’pangira wom’thangatira iye.”​—Genesis 2:18; 24:67; 1 Akorinto 7:9.

Inde, kukhala mu ukwati kungathetse mavuto ena. Komanso kumabweretsa ena. Chifukwa? Chifukwa ukwati ndiwo mgwirizano wa anthu aŵiri a maumunthu osiyana amene mwina angakhale oyenerana koma osafanana. Choncho, ngakhale banja la anthu aŵiri oyenerana limakangana nthaŵi zina. Mtumwi wachikristu Paulo analemba kuti okwatira amakhala ndi “chisautso m’thupi”​—kapena malinga ndi The New English Bible, “zopweteka ndi chisoni pamoyo uno wathupi.”​—1 Akorinto 7:28.

Kodi Paulo panopo ankayesa kugogomeza kuipa kwake kokhakokha? Kutalitali! Ankangoyesa kulimbikitsa aja ofuna kukwatira kuti aziona zinthu mmene zilili. Kukopeka kwanu kosangalatsa sindiko njira yabwino yodziŵira mmenedi moyo udzakhalira mutakwatirana, patapita miyezi kapena zaka pambuyo pa tsiku la chikwati chanu. Ukwati uliwonse uli ndi mavuto ake ndi zothetsa nzeru. Mfundo yaikulu si yakuti kaya mavutowo adzabuka koma kuti mudzachita chiyani atabuka.

Zothetsa nzeru zimapatsa mwamuna ndi mkazi wake mpata woonetsa kukondana kwawo kwenikweni. Mwachitsanzo: Sitima yapamadzi ingaoneke yolimba ili yokocheza padoko. Koma kulimba kwake panyanja kungaoneke italoŵapo​—mwinamwake pamene namondwe akuomba ndipo mafunde akuigunda zolimba. Momwemonso, ukwati sungadziŵike kuti ndi wolimba panthaŵi yamtendere yokha pamene pamakhala chikondi chokhachokha. Nthaŵi zina, umatsimikizidwa panthaŵi imene zinthu zavuta kwambiri pamene banjalo lipulumuka nsautso zonga namondwe.

Kuti zimenezo zitheke, pabanjapo pafunikira kuwindirana, pakuti Mulungu anafuna kuti mwamuna ‘adziphatike kwa mkazi wake’ ndi kuti aŵiriwo ‘akhale thupi limodzi.’ (Genesis 2:24) Anthu ambiri lero amaopa kuwinda. Komano, ndi bwino ndithu kuti anthu aŵiri okondanadi alonjezane mwalumbiro kuti adzakhala pamodzi. Ngati pali chiwindo, ukwati umalemekezeka. Chidaliro chimakhalapo chakuti, zivutezitani, mwamuna ndi mkazi wake adzathandizana.a Ngati simunakonzekerebe kuwinda kumeneko, ndiye kuti simuli wokonzeka kwenikweni kukwatira. (Yerekezani ndi Mlaliki 5:4, 5.) Ngakhalenso aja okwatirana kale angafunikire kumvetsa kufunika kwake kwa chowinda paukwati wokhalitsa.

Kudzipenda Inu Mwini

Mosakayika mungandandalike mikhalidwe imene mukufuna kuti mnzanu akakhale nayo. Koma m’povuta kudzipenda inu mwini pofuna kudziŵa mmene mungadzachirikizire ukwati kuti udzayende bwino. Kudzipenda n’kofunika kwambiri musanapange komanso mutapanga malumbiro a ukwati. Mwachitsanzo, tadzifunsani mafunso otsatirawa:

• Kodi ndine wokonzekera kupanga chowinda chamoyo wonse kwa mnzanga?​—Mateyu 19:6.

Masiku a mneneri Malaki wa m’Baibulo, amuna ambiri anasiya akazi awo, mwinamwake kuti akakwatire atsikana. Yehova anati guwa lake la nsembe linakutidwa ndi misozi ya akazi osiyidwawo, ndipo anadzudzula amuna amene ‘anachitira chosakhulupirika’ akazi awo.​—Malaki 2:13-16.

• Ngati ndikuganiza zokwatira, kodi ndapyola usinkhu wachinyamata pamene chilakolako cha kugonana chimakhala champhamvu kwambiri choti n’kundilepheretsa kuganiza bwino?​—1 Akorinto 7:36.

“Si bwino kukwatiwa udakali wamng’ono,” anatero Nikki, amene anakwatiwa ali ndi zaka 22. Anachenjeza kuti: “Mtima wako, zolinga zako, ndi zokonda zako zimasintha kuchokera pa zaka zoyambirira za unyamata wako mpaka zaka zake zomalizira.” Inde, usinkhu wokha sindiwo umaonetsa kuti ndinu wokonzeka kuloŵa mu ukwati. Komanso, kukwatira pamene munthuwe sunadutse pa unyamata pamene chilakolako cha kugonana chimayamba kukula n’kukhala champhamvu kungakusokoneze maganizo ndi kukupangitsa kusaona mavuto amene angabuke.

• Kodi ndili ndi mikhalidwe yotani imene idzandithandiza kupangitsa ukwati kukhala wabwino?​—Agalatiya 5:22, 23.

Mtumwi Paulo analembera Akolose kuti: “Valani . . . mtima wachifundo, kukoma mtima, kudzichepetsa, chifatso, kuleza mtima.” (Akolose 3:12) Uphungu umenewo n’ngwoyenera kwa aja amene akuganiza zoloŵa mu ukwati komanso kwa aja okwatirana kale.

• Kodi ndili ndi uchikulire wofunikira pothandiza mnzanga nthaŵi yamavuto?​—Agalatiya 6:2.

“Patakhala mavuto,” anatero dokotala wina, “ambiri amakonda kuimba mnzawo mlandu. Chofunika kwambiri si nkhani yakuti ali ndi mlandu ndani. M’malo mwake, ndi kugwirizana kwa mwamuna ndi mkazi wake pofuna kulimbitsa ukwati wawo.” Mawu a Mfumu Solomo yanzeru amagwira ntchito kwa okwatirana. “Aŵiri aposa mmodzi,” analemba motero, “pakuti akagwa, wina adzautsa mnzake; koma tsoka wakugwa wopanda wom’nyamutsa.”​—Mlaliki 4:9, 10.

• Kodi nthaŵi zambiri ndimakhala wosangalala komanso wolimbikitsa, kapena wachisoni kwambiri ndi wokhumudwa?​—Miyambo 15:15.

Munthu wokhumudwa amaona tsiku lililonse kukhala loipa. Ukwati susintha maganizo ameneŵa mozizwitsa! Munthu wokhala mbeta​—mwamuna kapena mkazi​—amene amakonda kudandaula kapena kukhumudwa amakhalabe wodandauladandaula kapena wokhumudwakhumudwa atakwatira. Maganizo oipa amenewo angachititse mavuto aakulu mu ukwati.​—Yerekezani ndi Miyambo 21:9.

• Kodi ndimadekha zinthu zitafika povuta, kapena kodi ndimalephera kudziletsa n’takwiya?​—Agalatiya 5:19, 20.

Akristu amalamulidwa kukhala ‘odekha pakupsa mtima.’ (Yakobo 1:19) Asanakwatirane komanso atakwatirana, mwamuna kapena mkazi ayenera kukulitsa luso lotsata uphungu uwu: “Kwiyani, koma musachimwe; dzuŵa lisaloŵe muli chikwiyire.”​—Aefeso 4:26.

Kupenda Yemwe Ati Adzakhale Mnzanu

“Wochenjera asamalira mayendedwe ake.” (Miyambo 14:15) Zimenezi n’zofunikadi posankha mnzanu wokwatirana naye. Kusankha wokwatirana naye ndiko chimodzi mwa zosankha zofunika zedi zimene mwamuna kapena mkazi amapanga. Koma zapezeka kuti anthu ambiri amawononga nthaŵi yambiri posankha galimoto imene akufuna kugula kapena sukulu imene akufuna kupitako kuposa imene amawonongera posankha munthu wokwatirana naye.

Mu mpingo wachikristu, awo amene aikizidwa maudindo ‘amayamba ayesedwa [ngati ali oyenerera, NW].’ (1 Timoteo 3:10) Ngati mukuganiza zokwatira kapena zokwatiwa, muyenera kuonetsetsa ngati mnzanuyo ali ‘woyenerera.’ Mwachitsanzo, talingalirani mafunso otsatira. Ngakhale kuti mkazi ndiye akufunsa, mapulinsipulo ake ambiri amagwiranso ntchito kwa mwamuna. Ngakhale okwatirana angapindule mwa kulingalira mfundo zimenezi.

• Kodi iyeyo ali ndi mbiri yotani?​—Afilipi 2:19-22.

Miyambo 31:23 imasimba za mwamuna amene “adziŵika kubwalo, pokhala pakati pa akulu a dziko.” Akulu a mzinda anali kukhala kubwalo la mzinda kuzipata poweruza mlandu. Chotero n’zachionekere kuti iye anali munthu waudindo wake woti anthu n’kum’khulupirira. Mmene anthu ena amaonera mwamunayo zimaonetsa kanthu kena ponena za mbiri yake. Ngati ali ndi udindo, lingaliraninso mmene amamuonera aja amene iye akuwayang’anira. Zimenezi zingakusonyezeni mmene inuyo, monga mkazi wake, mudzamuonera m’kupita kwa nthaŵi.​—Yerekezani ndi 1 Samueli 25:3, 23-25.

• Kodi khalidwe lake n’lotani?

Nzeru yaumulungu “iyamba kukhala yoyera.” (Yakobo 3:17) Kodi chimene amasamala kwambiri amene ati adzakhale mnzanuyo ndicho kukhutiritsa chilakolako chake cha kugonana koposa kaimidwe kake komanso kanu pamaso pa Mulungu? Ngati sakuyesetsa kutsata miyezo ya Mulungu ya makhalidwe tsopano, kodi muli ndi chifukwa chotani chokhulupirira kuti adzatero mutakwatirana?​—Genesis 39:7-12.

• Kodi amachita zotani kwa ine?​—Aefeso 5:28, 29.

Buku la m’Baibulo la Miyambo limasimba za mwamuna amene ‘akhulupirira’ mkazi wake. Komanso, ‘am’tama.’ (Miyambo 31:11, 28) Sachita nsanje yonyanyira, kapena kufuna zinthu zosatheka. Yakobo analemba kuti nzeru yochokera kumwamba ili “yamtendere, yaulere, . . . yodzala chifundo ndi zipatso zabwino.”​—Yakobo 3:17.

• Kodi amachita motani ndi achibale ake?​—Eksodo 20:12.

Sikuti ndi ana okha amene afunikira kulemekeza makolo. Baibulo limati: “Tamvera atate wako anakubala, usapeputse amako atakalamba.” (Miyambo 23:22) Chosangalatsa n’chakuti, Dr. W. Hugh Missildine analemba kuti: “Mavuto ambiri a m’banja ndi kusamvana zingapewedwe​—mwina ngakhale kudziŵikiratu pasadakhale​—ngati mkwati ndi mkwatibwi amakachezerana kumakwawo ndi kuona mmene ‘mnzakeyo’ amakhalira ndi makolo ake. Mmene iye amaonera makolo ake ndi mmenenso adzaonera mnzakeyo. Munthu azidzifunsa kuti: ‘Kodi ndikufuna kuti iye azikhala ndi ine mmene amakhalira ndi makolo ake?’ Ndipo mmene makolo ake amakhalira ndi iye ndiwo umboni wanu wokusonyezani mmene adzadzionera yekha ndi mmene adzafunira kuti inuyo mukhalire ndi iye​—mutabwerako ku tchuthi cha pambuyo pa chikwati.”

• Kodi amakwiyakwiya kapena n’ngwamwano?

Baibulo limalangiza kuti: “Chiwawo chonse, ndi kupsa mtima, ndi mkwiyo, ndi chiwawa, ndi mwano zichotsedwe kwa inu.” (Aefeso 4:31) Paulo anachenjeza Timoteo za Akristu ena amene ‘akayalukira pa mafunso ndi makani a mawu’ amenenso akalola “njiru, ndewu, zamwano, mayerekezo oipa; makani opanda pake.”​—1 Timoteo 6:4, 5.

Ndiponso, Paulo analemba kuti amene ayenerera maudindo mumpingo asakhale “womenyana ndewu.” (1 Timoteo 3:3) Sangakhale amene amamenyadi anthu kapena kuwachitira chipongwe ndi mawu onyoza. Munthu amene amachita chiwawa atangokwiya si bwino kukwatirana naye.

• Kodi zolinga zake n’zotani?

Ena amafuna chuma ndipo amatuta zotsatira zake zosapeŵeka. (1 Timoteo 6:9, 10) Ena amangokhala, alibe zolinga zakuti azikwaniritse. (Miyambo 6:6-11) Komabe, munthu woopa Mulungu amakhala wotsimikiza mtima monga analili Yoswa, yemwe anati: “Koma ine, ndi a m’nyumba yanga, tidzatumikira Yehova.”​—Yoswa 24:15.

Mphotho Zake ndi Maudindo

Ukwati ndi makonzedwe a Mulungu. Anauyambitsa ndi kuukhazikitsa ndi Yehova Mulungu. (Genesis 2:22-24) Anakonza ukwati kuti pakhale unansi wachikhalire pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi wake kotero kuti iwo azithandizana. Pamene agwiritsa ntchito mapulinsipulo a Baibulo, mwamuna ndi mkazi wake amayembekezera kusangalala nawo moyo wawo.​—Mlaliki 9:7-9.

Komanso tiyenera kuzindikira kuti tikukhala mu “nthaŵi zoŵaŵitsa.” Baibulo linalosera kuti panthaŵi ino, anthu adzakhala “odzikonda okha, okonda ndalama, odzitamandira, odzikuza, . . . osayera mtima, opanda chikondi chachibadwidwe, osayanjanitsika, . . . achiwembu, aliuma olimbirira, otukumuka mtima.” (2 Timoteo 3:1-4) Mikhalidwe imeneyi ingasokoneze ukwati. Ndiye chifukwa chake aja amene akuganiza zokwatira ayenera kuŵerengera mtengo wake mosamalitsa. Komanso aja okwatira ayenera kulimbikira kuwongolera ukwati wawo mwa kuphunzira ndi kutsatira malangizo a Mulungu opezeka m’Baibulo.

Inde, amene akuganiza zokwatira maso awo asamangoyang’ana tsiku la chikwati. Ndipo onse azilingalira mmene chikwati chawo adzachiyendetsere komanso moyo wa m’banja pambuyo pake. Yang’anani kwa Yehova kuti akutsogolereni kotero kuti muziganiza molama osati motengeka mtima. Mukatero, ndiye kuti mudzakhala ndi ukwati wabwino.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Bokosi patsamba 5]

“Mafotokozedwe Abwino Kwambiri a Chikondi Amene Ndaŵerengapo”

“Kodi ungadziŵe bwanji kuti mukukondanadi?” analemba motero Dr. Kevin Leman. “Lilipo buku lina lakale limene limafotokoza chikondi. Bukulo lakhalapo pafupifupi zaka zikwi ziŵiri, koma ndi lokhalo limene lili ndi mafotokozedwe abwino kwambiri a chikondi amene ndaŵerengapo.”

Dr. Leman anali kunena za mawu a mtumwi wachikristu Paulo opezeka m’Baibulo pa 1 Akorinto 13:4-8 akuti:

“Chikondi chikhala chilezere, chili chokoma mtima; chikondi sichidukidwa; chikondi sichidziŵa kudzitamanda, sichidzikuza, sichichita zosayenera, sichitsata za mwini yekha, sichipsa mtima, sichilingirira zoipa; sichikondwera ndi chinyengo, koma chikondwera ndi choonadi; chikwirira zinthu zonse, chikhulupirira zinthu zonse, chiyembekeza zinthu zonse, chipirira zinthu zonse. Chikondi sichitha nthaŵi zonse.”

[Bokosi patsamba 8]

Mtima Ungakhale Wonyenga

Mtsikana wachisulami wa m’nthaŵi za m’Baibulo mosakayika anali kudziŵa bwino mphamvu yonyenga ya kukopeka mtima. Pamene Mfumu Solomo yamphamvuyo inayesa kupalana naye chibwenzi, mtsikanayo anauza atsikana anzake kuti ‘asautse, ngakhale kugalamutsa chikondi, mpaka chikafuna mwini.’ (Nyimbo ya Solomo 2:7) Mtsikana wanzeru ameneyu sanafune kuti mabwenzi ake am’kakamize kutsata mtima wake. Izinso zimagwira ntchito kwa aja amene akuganiza zoloŵa mu ukwati lerolino. Ugwireni zolimba mtima wanu. Mukakwatirana, chifukwa chake chikhale chakuti mukum’kondadi munthu ameneyo, osati kungokonda ganizo lakuti ndinu wokwatira.

[Chithunzi patsamba 6]

Ngakhale aja amene akhala mu ukwati zaka zambiri angalimbitse ukwati wawo

[Chithunzi patsamba 7]

Kodi iye amachita motani ndi makolo ake?