Mutu 10

N’chifukwa Chiyani Mnzanga Wayamba Kudana Nane?

“Kerry anali mnzanga wapamtima. Nthawi zonse tikaweruka ku ntchito ndinkamutenga pa galimoto yanga. Koma kenako ndinayamba kuona kuti akundidyera masuku pamutu.

“M’galimotomo ankangokhalira kutumiza mauthenga ndi kulankhula pa foni yake yam’manja. Sankandithokoza ndikamutenga ndipo analeka kundithandiza kugula mafuta a galimoto. Nthawi zonse ankangonena zoipa za anthu ena. Ndinamupilira nthawi yaitali mpaka kufika potopa naye.

“Ndiye tsiku lina ndinamuuza mwaulemu kuti ndisiya kumakamutenga kuntchito. Kuyambira nthawi imeneyo sankafunanso kucheza nane, ndipo zimenezi zinanditsimikizira kuti ankangondikonda chifukwa cha galimoto. Ndipo zinandiwawa kwambiri.”—Anatero Nicole.

ZIMENEZI zingachitikirenso inuyo. Tsiku lina mungapezeke kuti mukugwirizana kwambiri ndi mnzanu wapamtima koma tsiku lotsatira osalankhulana n’komwe. N’chiyani chimachititsa kuti anthu amene amagwirizana bwinobwino adane?

● Jeremy anasiya kucheza ndi mnzake, mnzakeyo atasamukira kutali kwambiri. Jeremy anati: “Mnzangayo sankandiimbira n’komwe foni ndipo zimenezi zinandiwawa kwambiri.”

● Kerrin anayamba kuona kuti mnzake amene ankacheza naye kwazaka zisanu wayamba kusintha. Kerrin anati: “Zochitika ndi zolankhula zake zinayamba kundidabwitsa. Anayamba kunyoza zinthu zimene ndinkakonda. Nditamupempha kuti tikambirane, iye anandinena kuti ndine wodzikonda, wosadalirika ndi wopanda phindu.”

● Gloria anangopezeka kuti wadana ndi mnzake wapamtima. Iye anati: “Poyamba tinkagwirizana kwambiri ndipo ankanditenga ngati mchemwali wake. Kenako, mwadzidzidzi anasiya kucheza nane ndipo sankafotokoza chifukwa chenicheni chimene ankachitira zimenezo.”

● Laura ndi Daria anadana, Daria atalanda chibwenzi cha Laura. Laura anati: “Iye ankakonda kulankhula ndi chibwenzi changacho kwanthawi yaitali pafoni. Zimenezi zinandipweteka kwambiri chifukwa chakuti ndinadana ndi mnzanga wapamtima ndiponso panthawi yomweyo ndinalandidwa mwamuna amene ndikanakwatirana naye.”

Kodi Vuto Limakhala Chiyani?

Munthu ndi munthu, choncho tisamadabwe ngati mnzathu wachita kapena kulankhula zinazake zokhumudwitsa. Ngakhale inuyo mwakhumudwitsapo ena. (Mlaliki 7:22) Mtsikana wina dzina lake Lisa, anati: “Tonse ndife anthu ndipo nthawi ndi nthawi timalakwirana.” Nthawi zambiri nkhani imatha n’kukambirana.

Nthawi zina anthu sayambana chifukwa chongolakwirana kamodzi, koma chifukwa chozindikira kuti zokonda zawo zikusiyana. Dziwani kuti mukamakula zokonda zanu komanso za mnzanuyo zimasintha. Ndiye kodi muyenera kuchita chiyani mukazindikira kuti simukugwirizananso ngati kale?

Mungatani Kuti Muyambenso Kugwirizana?

Kodi mumatani ngati chovala chimene mumachikonda kwambiri chang’ambika? Kodi mumangochitaya kapena mumachisoka? Malinga ndi mmene chang’ambikira kapenanso mmene mumachikondera, mungasankhe kuchitaya kapena kuchisoka. Koma ngati chovalacho mumachikondadi, simungachitaye ayi. Chimodzimodzinso ngati mwayambana ndi mnzanu, n’zotheka kuyamba kugwirizananso. Koma kuti mugwirizanenso zimatengera nkhani imene mwayambana komanso mmene mumagwirizanirana.a

Mwachitsanzo, ngati mnzanu wachita kapena kulankhula zinthu zimene zakukhumudwitsani ndi bwino kungozinyalanyaza. Mungachite zimenezi potsatira malangizo a pa Salmo 4:4 akuti: “Nenani mumtima mwanu pakama panu, ndipo mukhale chete.” Choncho musafulumire kuganiza zosiya kucheza ndi mnzanuyo. Yambani mwadzifunsa kaye kuti, kodi anachitira dala? Ngati simukudziwa chimene chinamuchititsa, ingomukhululukirani basi. Nthawi zambiri ndi bwino kugwiritsa ntchito mfundo yakuti “chikondi chimakwirira machimo ochuluka.”—1 Petulo 4:8.

Muyeneranso kuona ngati n’zotheka kuti inuyo ndiye munayambitsa vutolo. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mnzanu waulula chinsinsi, n’kutheka kuti inuyo ndi amene munalakwa pomuuza zinthu zimene simumayenera kumuuza. Muyeneranso kuona ngati mnzanuyo anakunyozani chifukwa choti simunamulankhule bwino. (Miyambo 15:2) Ngati ndi choncho, dzifunseni kuti, ‘Kodi ndi zinthu ziti zimene ndikufunikira kusintha kuti ndizigwirizana ndi mnzangayu?’

“Bwanji Tikambirane?”

Kodi mungatani ngati mukuona kuti nkhaniyo ndi yaikulu? Pemphani mnzanuyo kuti mukambirane. Koma onetsetsani kuti musakambirane mutakwiya. Baibulo limati: “Munthu wozaza aputa makani; koma wosakwiya msanga atonthoza makangano.” (Miyambo 15:18) Choncho, ngati mwapsa mtima yembekezani kuti mtima wanu ukhale pansi musanayambe kukambirana.

Komabe kumbukirani kuti cholinga cha kukambiranako sikubwezera “choipa pa choipa.” (Aroma 12:17) Koma kuthetsa nkhaniyo kuti muyambenso kugwirizana. (Salmo 34:14) Choncho kambiranani mwaulemu. Mwina mungamuuze mnzanuyo kuti: “Iweyo ndiwe mnzanga kuyambira kalekale, ndiye bwanji tingokambirana nkhani ija?” Mukadziwa chimene chinachititsa kuti muyambane, mungayambirenso kugwirizana. Ngakhale mnzanuyo atakhala kuti sakufuna zokambirana, inuyo mungasangalale podziwa kuti mwayesetsa kukhazikitsa mtendere.

Choncho, ngakhale kuti “pali mabwenzi amene amafuna kuthyolana” palinso “bwenzi limene limamatirira kuposa m’bale wako.” (Miyambo 18:24, NW) Dziwani kuti ngakhale anthu amene akugwirizana kwambiri, nthawi zina angayambane. Ngati zimenezi zachitika, yesetsani kuchita zomwe mungathe kuti mugwirizanenso ndi mnzanuyo. Ngati mumayesetsa kugwirizananso ndi mnzanu mukayambana, ndiye kuti mwayamba kuganiza ngati munthu wamkulu.

WERENGANI ZAMBIRI PANKHANIYI M’BUKU LOYAMBA, MUTU 8

[Mawu a M’munsi]

LEMBA LOFUNIKA

“Ngati ndi kotheka, khalani mwa mtendere ndi anthu onse, monga mmene mungathere.”—Aroma 12:18.

MFUNDO YOTHANDIZA

Musafulumire kuganiza kuti mnzanuyo wakulakwirani dala, m’malo mwake m’pempheni kuti afotokoze mbali yake.—Miyambo 18:13.

KODI MUKUDZIWA . . . ?

Anthu amene amagwirizana amapatsana mpata woti aliyense azikhala ndi nthawi yochita zinthu zina payekha. (Miyambo 25:17) Koma ngati simupatsana mpata wotere, simungachedwe kuyambana.

ZOTI NDICHITE

Ngati ndayambana ndi mnzanga, ndingayambe kukambirana naye nkhaniyo ponena izi: ․․․․․

Ngakhale mnzanga atandikhumudwitsa, ndingayesetse kugwirizana naye pochita izi: ․․․․․

Zimene ndikufuna kufunsa makolo anga pankhaniyi ndi izi: ․․․․․

MUKUGANIZA BWANJI?

● Kodi n’chiyani chimachititsa kuti anthu amene amachezera limodzi asiye kugwirizana?

● Mnzanu akakukhumudwitsani, kodi ndi nkhani ziti zimene mungazithetse nokha, nanga ndi ziti zimene mungafunikire kukambirana naye?

● Kodi ndi phunziro lanji limene mungapeze mukayambana ndi mnzanu?

● Kodi mungachite chiyani kuti mnzanu asakukhumudwitseni?

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 95]

“Ndadziwa mochedwa kuti si bwino kuyembekezera kuti mnzako azikuchitira zabwino nthawi zonse. Ndikanadziwa kale zimenezi, bwenzi ndikumvetsera kwambiri mnzanga akamalankhula. Ndiponso bwenzi ndikumulimbikitsa m’malo mongokokomeza zinthu zimene walakwitsa. Panopo ndazindikira kuti zovuta ngati zimenezi ndi zimene zimalimbitsa ubwenzi.”—Anatero Keenon

[Chithunzi patsamba 94]

Chovala chikang’ambika mutha kuchisoka. Chimodzimodzinso mukayambana ndi mnzanu, mutha kugwirizananso