Umuryango Ugeze Aharindimuka!

“NUKO nyuma y’aho babaho mu byishimo bidashira.” Muri iki gihe, imiryango y’abashakanye iri mu mimerere itunganye ivugwa muri ayo magambo asoza umugani, irarushaho kuba ingume. Isezerano abagiye gushyingiranwa bagirana, ryo kuzakundana ‘mu byiza no mu bibi igihe cyose bombi bazaba bakiriho,’ akenshi na ryo usanga ari imvugo gusa. Kugira ngo umuntu agire umuryango urangwa n’ibyishimo, ni nko gutombora.

Hagati y’umwaka wa 1960 n’uwa 1990, imibare y’abashakanye batana, yikubye incuro zisaga ebyiri mu bihugu byinshi by’i Burengerazuba byateye imbere mu by’inganda. Mu bihugu bimwe na bimwe, iyo mibare yikubye incuro enye. Urugero, muri Suède, buri mwaka hashingwa ingo zigera ku 35.000, kandi izigera hafi ku cya kabiri cyazo zikazasenyuka, ibyo bikagira ingaruka ku bana basaga 45.000. Imiryango y’abantu babana batarashyingiranywe irasenyuka mu rugero ruhanitse cyane, ibyo bikanagira ingaruka ku bandi bana bagera mu bihumbi bibarirwa muri za mirongo. Ingeso nk’iyo irimo iraduka no mu bihugu byo hirya no hino ku isi, nk’uko bishobora kugaragara mu gasanduku kari ku ipaji ya 5.

Mu by’ukuri, imiryango isenyuka no gutana kw’abashakanye, si ibintu bishya mu mateka. Urutonde rw’amahame mbonezamuco rwashyizweho na Hammurabi wo mu kinyejana cya 18 M.I.C., rwari rukubiyemo amategeko yemeraga ibyo gutana kw’abashakanye i Babuloni. Ndetse n’Amategeko ya Mose yashyizweho mu kinyejana cya 16 M.I.C., yemeraga ibyo gutana kw’abashakanye muri Isirayeli (Gutegeka 24:1). Ariko kandi, nta kindi gihe imirunga ihuza abagize umuryango yigeze ihungabana kurusha uko bimeze muri iki kinyejana cya 20. Mu myaka isaga icumi ishize, umwanditsi wo mu kinyamakuru kimwe yanditse agira ati “mu myaka mirongo itanu uhereye ubu, dushobora kuzaba tutagifite imiryango imeze nk’uko tuyizi mu muco karande. Ishobora kuzaba yarasimbuwe n’amatsinda y’uburyo bunyuranye.” Kandi uko ibintu byifashe kuva icyo gihe, biragaragaza ko icyo gitekerezo cye ari ukuri. Gahunda yashyizweho y’umuryango yononekaye vuba cyane, ku buryo abantu barushaho kwibaza iki kibazo kigira kiti “mbese, [umuryango] uzarokoka?”

Kuki usanga abantu benshi bashakanye bibagora cyane kubana akaramata no gukomeza kugira umuryango wunze ubumwe? Ni irihe banga ry’ababanye akaramata igihe kirekire, bakizihiza mu byishimo isabukuru y’imyaka 25 ndetse na 50 bamaze bashyingiranywe? Ndetse, mu mwaka wa 1983, byaravuzwe ko ngo hari umugabo n’umugore bo mu cyahoze ari repubulika y’Abasoviyeti ya Azerubayijane bizihije isabukuru y’imyaka 100 bari bamaze bashyingiranywe—uwo mugabo akaba yari afite imyaka 126, naho umugore akagira 116.

Ni Akahe Kaga Kugarije?

Mu bihugu byinshi, zimwe mu mpamvu zishobora gutuma abashakanye batana mu buryo bwemewe n’amategeko, ni ubusambanyi, ubugome bwo kubabaza undi mu bitekerezo cyangwa ku mubiri, kwahukana, ubusinzi, kuba ikiremba cyangwa kurwara intinyi, kurwara mu mutwe, guharika no gusabikwa n’ibiyobyabwenge. Ariko kandi, impamvu yiganje cyane, ni iy’uko imyifatire y’ibanze y’abantu ku bihereranye n’ishyingirwa hamwe n’ubuzima bw’umuryango umeze nk’uko tuwuzi mu muco karande, yahindutse mu buryo budasubirwaho, cyane cyane mu myaka ya vuba aha ibarirwa muri za mirongo. Kubaha iyo gahunda imaze igihe kinini ibonwa ko ari iyera, byarayoyotse. Abantu b’abanyamururumba bahanga umuzika, za filimi, porogaramu zikemangwa zihitishwa kuri Televiziyo n’ibitabo bikundwa n’abantu benshi, bashyize imbere ibyitwa ko ari ukwishyira ukizana mu birebana n’ibitsina, ubwiyandarike, imyifatire y’akahebwe, n’imibereho irangwa n’ubwikunde. Bateje imbere umuco wononnye ubwenge n’imitima by’abakiri bato kimwe n’iby’abakuze.

Igenzura ryakozwe mu mwaka wa 1996, ryagaragaje ko 22 ku ijana by’Abanyamerika bavuga ko kuryamana n’undi muntu mutashakanye bishobora rimwe na rimwe kugira akamaro ku ishyingirwa. Inomero yihariye y’ikinyamakuru cyitwa Aftonbladet, kikaba ari kimwe mu binyamakuru bikomeye kurusha ibindi byo muri Suède, yagiriye abagore inama yo kujya batana n’abagabo, kubera ko “ari byo bishobora kurushaho kuba byiza.” Ndetse hari n’abahanga mu birebana n’imitekerereze y’abantu n’imyifatire yabo, no mu bihereranye n’imibereho y’abantu, batekereje mu buryo budafite ishingiro ko ubwihindurize “bwageneye” umuntu kujya ahindaguranya abo ashakana na bo nyuma ya buri myaka mike. Mu yandi magambo, bavuga ko kuryamana n’undi muntu mutashakanye no gutana kw’abashakanye ari ibintu bisanzwe. Hari ndetse n’abavuga ko gutana kw’ababyeyi bishobora kugirira abana babo akamaro, kuko bibategurira kumenya ukuntu mu gihe runaka na bo bazahangana n’ikibazo cyo gutana n’abo bazashakana!

Abakiri bato benshi ntibagishaka kugira imibereho yo mu muryango umeze nk’uko tuwuzi mu muco karande, ugizwe n’umugabo, umugore n’abana. Ku bantu benshi usanga intero ari ya yindi ngo “sinshobora kwiyumvisha ukuntu nabana n’umuntu umwe mu mibereho yanjye yose.” Umusore ufite imyaka 18 wo muri Danemark yagize ati “ishyingirwa ni nka Noheli, ni ikintu cy’umugani gusa. Jyewe sindyizera.” Noreen Byrne wo mu bagize Inama yo mu Rwego rw’Igihugu y’Abagore muri Irilande, yagize ati “numva nibaza impamvu [abagore] bigora babana n’[abagabo] maze bakajya babamesera amasogisi. Mujye mwisohokanira na bo maze mwiryamanire na bo gusa. Abagore benshi barimo bariyemeza ko badakeneye kubana n’abagabo kugira ngo bakunde bibereho neza.”

Imiryango Iyoborwa n’Umubyeyi Umwe Iriyongera

Hirya no hino mu Burayi, iyo mitekerereze yatumye imiryango iyoborwa n’ababyeyi b’abagore badafite uwo bashakanye yiyongera cyane. Bamwe muri abo babyeyi badafite uwo bashakanye, ni abangavu bumva ko gutwita mu buryo butateguwe atari ikosa. Abandi ni abagore bashaka kwirerera abana babo bonyine. Abenshi muri bo ni abagore babana n’umugabo mu gihe runaka, badateganya na mba gushyingiranwa na we. Umwaka ushize, ikinyamakuru cyitwa Newsweek cyasohoye inkuru yaherekezaga amashusho yari ku gifubiko, yari ishingiye ku kibazo cyavugaga ngo “Mbese, Ishyingirwa Ryarapfuye?” Cyavuze ko ijanisha ry’umubare w’abana bavuka ku bantu batashyingiranywe ririmo ryiyongera vuba mu Burayi, kandi ko bisa n’aho ari nta muntu ubyitaho. Suède ishobora gufata umwanya wa mbere kuri urwo rutonde, kubera ko kimwe cya kabiri cy’impinja zose zihavukira zivuka ku bantu batashyingiranywe. Muri Danemark no muri Noruveje, imibare igera hafi ku cya kabiri, naho mu Bufaransa no mu Bwongereza, ni hafi 1 kuri 3.

Muri Leta Zunze Ubumwe z’Amerika, imiryango igizwe n’ababyeyi babiri yaragabanutse mu buryo butangaje mu myaka mike ishize ibarirwa muri za mirongo. Hari raporo yagize iti “mu mwaka wa 1960, . . . 9 ku ijana by’abana bose, babaga mu ngo ziyoborwa n’umubyeyi umwe. Mu mwaka wa 1990, uwo mubare wari warahanitse ugera kuri 25 ku ijana. Muri iki gihe, 27,1 ku ijana by’abana bose b’Abanyamerika, bavukira mu ngo ziyoborwa n’umubyeyi umwe, uwo mubare ukaba wiyongera. . . . Kuva mu mwaka wa 1970, umubare w’imiryango iyoborwa n’umubyeyi umwe wikubye incuro zisaga ebyiri. Abashakashatsi bamwe bavuga ko umuryango umeze nk’uko tuwuzi mu muco karande wugarijwe cyane muri iki gihe, ku buryo ushobora kuba uri hafi kuzimangatana.”

Mu bihugu Kiliziya Gatolika y’i Roma itagifitemo ijambo cyane, usanga imiryango iyoborwa n’umubyeyi umwe yiyongera. Ingo zitageze kuri kimwe cya kabiri zo mu Butaliyani, ni zo zigizwe n’umubyeyi w’umugore, uw’umugabo n’abana, kandi umuryango umeze nk’uko tuwuzi mu muco karande, urimo uragenda usimburwa n’imiryango y’abashakanye itagira abana, n’imiryango iyoborwa n’umubyeyi umwe.

Mu by’ukuri, imimerere myiza yo mu bihugu bimwe na bimwe, itera abantu inkunga yo kudashaka. Ababyeyi b’abagore baba bonyine, bakaba bahabwa imfashanyo ya leta, bashobora kuyibura mu gihe baba bashyingiwe. Ababyeyi b’abagore baba bonyine bo muri Danemark, bahabwa amafaranga y’inyongera yo kwita ku bana, kandi mu turere tumwe na tumwe, ababyeyi b’abagore batagejeje ku myaka 18, bahabwa andi mafaranga ku ruhande, kandi bakarihirwa amafaranga y’icumbi. Ku bw’ibyo rero, amafaranga abigiramo uruhare. Alf B. Svensson avuga ko kugira ngo abashakanye batane muri Suède, usaba gutana agomba gutanga amadolari y’amanyamerika ari hagati y’ibihumbi 250 n’ibihumbi 375, akishyurira mugenzi we inzu azabamo, kandi akamufasha mu bihereranye n’imibereho.

Amadini yo muri Kristendomu asa n’aho akora ibintu bike cyangwa se akaba nta n’icyo akora rwose, kugira ngo ahindure iyo mimerere mibi y’ibintu yayogoje imiryango. Abapasiteri n’abakuru b’amadini benshi barimo barahatana n’ingorane zo mu miryango yabo bwite, bityo bakumva badashoboye kugira icyo bamarira abandi. Bamwe ndetse basa n’aho bashyigikira ibyo gutana kw’abashakanye. Ikinyamakuru cyitwa Aftonbladet cyo ku itariki ya 15 Mata 1996, cyavuze ko pasiteri Steven Allen wo muri Bradford ho mu Bwongereza, yateguye gahunda y’umuhango wihariye wo gutanya abashakanye, akaba yaratanze igitekerezo cy’uko uwo muhango waba igikorwa cyemewe na leta mu matorero yose yo mu Bwongereza. “Ni igikorwa cyo gukiza, gifasha abantu gukemura ibyababayeho. Kibafasha kubona ko Imana ikibakunda, kandi ikaba ibagobotoye mu mibabaro.”

None se, gahunda y’umuryango irimo irerekeza he? Mbese, hari ibyiringiro by’uko ishobora kuzarokoka? Mbese, imiryango ishobora gukomeza kunga ubumwe, buri muryango ku giti cyawo, mu gihe yugarijwe n’akaga gakomeye gatyo? Suzuma igice gikurikira.

[Imbonerahamwe yo ku ipaji ya 5]

ABASHYINGIRANWA BURI MWAKA UGERERANYIJE N’ABATANA MU BIHUGU BIMWE NA BIMWE

IGIHUGU UMWAKA ABASHYINGIRANYWE ABATANYE

Cuba 1992 191.837 63.432

Danemark 1993 31.507 12.991

Esitoniya 1993 7.745 5.757

Fédération Russe 1993 1.106.723 663.282

Kanada 1992 164.573 77.031

Maldives 1991 4.065 2.659

Noruveje 1993 19.464 10.943

Ositaraliya 1993 113.255 48.324

Porto Rico 1992 34.222 14.227

Royaume-Uni 1992 356.013 174.717

Suède 1993 34.005 21.673

Tchèque (Rép.) 1993 66.033 30.227

Ubudage 1993 442.605 156.425

Ubufaransa 1991 280.175 108.086

Ubuyapani 1993 792.658 188.297

(Bishingiye ku gitabo cyitwa 1994 Demographic Yearbook, cyanditswe n’Umuryango w’Abibumbye i New York, mu mwaka wa 1996)