Umuryango—Ni Ngombwa ku Bantu!

BAVUGA ko umuryango wa kimuntu umererwa neza mu gihe gusa imiryango iwugize na yo imerewe neza. Amateka agaragaza ko uko gahunda y’umuryango igenda yononekara, ari nako imbaraga z’amatsinda y’abantu n’amahanga zigenda zikendera. Igihe imimerere yononekaye mu bihereranye n’umuco yangizaga imiryango yo mu Bugiriki bwa kera, isanzuramuco ryabwo ryarasenyutse, bituma Abaroma babona icyuho cyo kubutsinda. Ubwami bw’Abaroma bwakomeje kugira imbaraga, igihe cyose imiryango ibugize yari igikomeye. Ariko uko ibinyejana byagendaga bihita, imibereho y’umuryango yagendaga ikendera, maze imbaraga z’ubwo bwami zirayoyoka. Charles W. Eliot, wahoze ari perezida wa Kaminuza y’i Harvard, yagize ati “umutekano w’umuryango no kujya mbere kwawo hamwe n’ukw’imibereho yawo, ni zo ntego z’ibanze z’isanzuramuco, kandi ni na zo ntego z’ingenzi z’imihati yose ikoreshwa.”

Ni koko, umuryango ni ngombwa ku bantu. Ugira ingaruka zitaziguye ku bihereranye no gukomera k’umuryango wa kimuntu n’imimerere myiza y’abana, n’iy’ab’igihe kizaza. Nta gushidikanya, hariho ababyeyi b’abagore benshi cyane barera abana bonyine, bakorana imihati myinshi kugira ngo babarere neza, kandi bagombye gushimirwa uwo murimo ukomeye bakora. Ariko kandi, ubushakashatsi bugaragaza ko akenshi abana barushaho kumera neza iyo baba mu muryango urimo ababyeyi bombi.

Ubushakashatsi bwakozwe muri Ositaraliya ku ngimbi n’abangavu basaga 2.100, bwasanze ko “muri rusange, abasore bakomoka mu miryango ivurunganye bakundaga kurwaragurika, bagakunda kugaragaraho ibibazo byo mu buryo bw’ibyiyumvo, kandi bagakunda gushabuka cyane mu birebana n’ibitsina, kurusha abasore bo mu miryango ituje.” Ubushakashatsi bwakozwe n’Ibigo bya Leta Bishinzwe Ibarura ry’Ibihereranye n’Ubuzima muri Leta Zunze Ubumwe z’Amerika, bwahishuye ko abana bakomoka mu ngo zasenyutse, bari bafite akaga kari hagati ya 20-30 ku ijana byo kuba bagerwaho n’impanuka, 40-75 ku ijana byo kuba basibira umwaka w’amashuri, na 70 ku ijana byo kuba bakwirukanwa ku ishuri.” Kandi umuhanga mu gusesengura ibintu, yavuze ko “abana bakomoka mu ngo ziyoborwa n’umubyeyi umwe, bakunda kwivanga cyane mu bikorwa by’ubwicanyi, kurusha abarerewe mu ngo zibaho mu buryo buhuje n’uko byahoze mu muco karande.”

Urugo Ni Ubwugamo

Gahunda yashyizweho y’umuryango, ituma abantu bose baba mu rugo rurangwa n’ibyishimo, guterana inkunga n’umunezero. Umutegetsi umwe wo muri Suède yagize ati “isoko y’ingenzi kurusha izindi zose y’ibyishimo n’imimerere myiza, si akazi umuntu akora, ibintu, kwirangaza cyangwa incuti, ahubwo ni umuryango.”

Bibiliya igaragaza ko buri muryango wose wo ku isi witirirwa Umuremyi Mukuru w’imiryango, ari we Yehova Imana, mu buryo bw’uko ari we washyizeho gahunda y’umuryango (Itangiriro 1:27, 28; 2:23, 24; Abefeso 3:14, 15). Ariko kandi, mu Byanditswe byahumetswe, intumwa Pawulo yahanuye ko umuryango wari kuzibasirwa mu buryo bukomeye, ibyo bigatuma umuco n’umuryango w’abantu bose batari mu itorero rya Gikristo byangirika. Yavuze ko ‘iminsi y’imperuka’ yari kuzarangwa n’ubuhemu, kuba abantu “badakunda n’ababo” kandi batumvira ababyeyi babo, ndetse no mu “bafite ishusho yo kwera.” Yagiriye Abakristo inama yo gutera umugongo abameze batyo. Yesu yahanuye ko imyifatire yo kurwanya ukuri kw’Imana yari kuzazana amacakubiri mu miryango.​—2 Timoteyo 3:1-5; Matayo 10:32-37.

Icyakora, Imana ntiyadutereranye. Mu Ijambo ryayo, dusangamo inama nyinshi zihereranye n’imishyikirano igomba kuba mu muryango. Ritubwira ukuntu dushobora gutuma umuryango umererwa neza, n’urugo rukaba ahantu harangwa n’ibyishimo, aho usanga buri wese mu bagize umuryango afite ibyo asabwa gukorera abandi.a​—Abefeso 5:33; 6:1-4.

Mbese, byashoboka kugera kuri bene iyo mishyikirano irangwa n’ibyishimo muri iyi minsi, aho usanga umuryango wugarijwe mu buryo bukomeye? Yego rwose! Ushobora kugira icyo ugeraho, mu gutuma umuryango wawe uba ubwugamo bushimishije, bugarura ubuyanja muri iyi si imeze nk’ubutayu, irangwa no kutoroherana. Ariko kandi, ibyo bisaba ko buri wese mu bagize umuryango agira icyo akora. Dore ibitekerezo bimwe na bimwe byatanzwe.

Fasha Umuryango Wawe Kugira ngo Uzarokoke

Bumwe mu buryo bwiza kurusha ubundi bwose bushobora gutuma umuryango ukomeza kunga ubumwe, ni ubw’uko abawugize bamarana igihe. Abawugize bose bagombye gufatanyiriza hamwe umwanya wabo w’ikiruhuko. Ibyo bishobora kubasaba kugira ibyo bigomwa. Nkamwe basore, bishobora kuba ngombwa ko mwigomwa porogaramu runaka mukunda yo kuri Televiziyo, imikino, cyangwa gusohokana n’incuti. Mwebwe bagabo, ari namwe akenshi muba mutunze umuryango, ntimugakoreshe igihe cy’imyidagaduro mu buryo bwo kwirangaza, cyangwa mu kwishakira izindi nyungu za bwite. Ibikorwa byose mubitegurane n’umuryango, wenda mutegure ukuntu mwakwifatanyiriza hamwe mu mpera z’ibyumweru cyangwa mu biruhuko. Birumvikana ko mwategura ikintu buri wese azategerezanya amatsiko kandi akacyishimira.

Abana bakeneye kugenerwa igihe kirenze icyitwa ko ari icyatoranyijwe, ni ukuvuga umwanya ungana n’igice cy’isaha cyangwa hafi yayo, umuntu aba yaragennye ko azajya awumarana n’abana be uko igihe kigeze. Bakeneye igihe kinini. Umwanditsi w’ikinyamakuru gisohoka buri munsi cyo muri Suède, yanditse agira ati “mu myaka 15 maze ndi umuntu ushinzwe gutara amakuru, nabonye abana benshi cyane b’inzererezi . . . Ikintu bahuriyeho, ni uko basa n’aho bagenerwaga igihe kidahagije cyo kwitabwaho: ‘ababyeyi banjye nta gihe babonaga.’ ‘Ntibajyaga na rimwe bumva ibyo mbabwira.’ ‘Papa yahoraga mu rugendo.’ . . . Wowe mubyeyi, ushobora guhora uhitamo uko igihe umarana n’umwana wawe kingana. Nyuma y’imyaka 15, imimerere y’ayo mahitamo yawe izagaragazwa n’ukuntu umwana wawe azaba gica, namara kugeza mu myaka 15.”

Ibitekerezo Bikwiriye ku Bihereranye n’Amafaranga

Nanone kandi, abagize umuryango bose bagombye kwihingamo ibitekerezo bikwiriye ku bihereranye n’amafaranga. Bagombye kuba biteguye gushyira hamwe ibyo bashoboye kugeraho, kugira ngo babone amafaranga umuryango ukeneye gukoresha muri rusange. Hari abagore benshi bagomba gushaka akazi kugira ngo bazibe icyuho, ariko mwebwe bagore, mwagombye kuba muzi akaga n’ibigeragezo mushobora guhura na byo. Iyi si ibagira inama yo “gukoresha ubushobozi bwanyu bwose” no “kwishyira mukizana.” Ibyo bishobora gutuma muba ibyigenge n’abantu batanyurwa n’uruhare Imana yabageneye rwo kuba umubyeyi n’umutima w’urugo.​—Tito 2:4, 5.

Mwebwe babyeyi b’abagore, nimushobora kuba mu rugo maze mukayobora abana banyu kandi mukaba incuti zabo, nta gushidikanya ko bizagira uruhare rukomeye mu gutuma habaho imirunga ikomeye, izabafasha gukomeza kubumbira hamwe umuryango wanyu, mu byishimo no mu byago. Umugore ashobora kugira uruhare rugaragara mu gutuma urugo rurangwa n’ibyishimo, umutekano n’ibikorwa. Hari umunyapolitiki wo mu kinyejana cya 19 wagize ati “gushinga ikambi igahama bisaba abagabo ijana, ariko umugore umwe ashobora kuremya urugo.”

Niba abagize umuryango bose bemera gufatanyiriza hamwe kugira ngo babeho bahuje n’umutungo w’umuryango, ibyo bizawurinda ingorane nyinshi. Abashakanye bagombye kwemera gukomeza kubaho mu buryo bworoheje, no gushyira inyungu z’iby’umwuka mu mwanya wa mbere. Abana bagombye kwiga kunyurwa, ntibasabe ibintu bidashobora kuboneka mu mutungo w’umuryango. Mwirinde irari ry’amaso! Amoshya yo gushaka kugura ibintu udafitiye ubushobozi, gufata imyenda, byatumye imiryango myinshi irohama mu ngorane. Ku bw’ubumwe bw’abagize umuryango bose, bishobora kuba byiza bakusanyirije hamwe umutungo wabo kugira ngo bakore ikintu bahurijeho—nk’urugendo rwo gutuma bagarura ubuyanja, kugura ibikoresho runaka byo mu rugo by’ingirakamaro kandi bishimishije, cyangwa gutanga impano yo gushyigikira itorero rya Gikristo.

Ubundi bwoko bw’ “impano” abagize umuryango bose bagomba gukusanya kugira ngo ukomeze kubamo umwuka w’ibyishimo, ni ukwifatanya mu murimo wo gukora isuku no gukenura—kwita ku nzu, ku busitani, ku modoka, n’ibindi. Buri wese mu bagize umuryango, ndetse n’abakiri bato kurusha abandi, ashobora gushingwa umurimo runaka. Bana, mujye mugerageza kudatakaza igihe cyanyu. Ibiri amambu, mwihingemo umutima wo kunganira abandi no kwifatanya na bo; ibyo bizatuma habaho umwuka w’ubucuti n’ubusabane nyakuri, ari na wo uzana ubumwe bw’umuryango.

Agaciro k’Inyigisho za Bibiliya

Mu muryango wa Gikristo wunze ubumwe, akamaro ko kugira icyigisho gihoraho cya Bibiliya na ko karatsindagirizwa. Gusuzuma imirongo yo muri Bibiliya buri munsi no kugira icyigisho cya buri cyumweru cy’Ibyanditswe Byera, ni urufatiro rwo kugira umuryango wunze ubumwe. Ukuri n’amahame by’ifatizo bishingiye kuri Bibiliya, byagombye gusuzumirwa hamwe, mu buryo bugera ku mitima y’abagize umuryango bose.

Ibyo byiciro by’inyigisho zo mu muryango, byagombye kuba byigisha, ariko nanone bikaba byishimirwa kandi bitera inkunga. Umuryango umwe wo mu majyaruguru ya Suède, wajyaga usaba abana kwandika ibibazo babaga baragize mu cyumweru. Hanyuma, ibyo bibazo byaganirwagaho mu cyigisho cya Bibiliya cya buri cyumweru. Akenshi wasangaga ibyo bibazo byimbitse kandi bikangura ibitekerezo, kandi bikagaragaza ubushobozi bw’abana bwo gutekereza n’ukuntu bafatana uburemere inyigisho za Bibiliya. Bimwe muri ibyo bibazo byari ibi ngo “mbese, Yehova ni we umeza ikintu cyose buri gihe, cyangwa yabikoze rimwe gusa?” “Kuki Bibiliya ivuga ko Imana yaremye umuntu ‘mu ishusho yayo’ kandi Imana atari umuntu?” “Mbese, Adamu na Eva ntibagagazwaga n’imbeho mu gihe cy’itumba ryo muri Paradizo, bitewe n’uko batambaraga inkweto kandi bakaba bataragiraga imyenda?” “Kuki ukwezi gucana nijoro kandi hagombye kuba umwijima?” Ubu abo bana barakuze, none bakorera Imana mu murimo w’igihe cyose.

Babyeyi, mu gihe mukemura ibibazo by’umuryango, byaba byiza mwihatiye kuba abantu barangwa n’icyizere n’ibyishimo. Mujye muzirikana abandi kandi muve ku izima, ariko nanone ntimugatezuke mu birebana no kwita ku mahame y’ingenzi. Abana banyu bagomba kubona ko urukundo mukunda Imana n’amahame yayo akiranuka, ari byo bigenga imyanzuro yanyu buri gihe. Imimerere yo ku ishuri akenshi usanga igoye cyane kandi igatsikamira abana, bityo bakaba bagomba guterwa inkunga ikomeye mu rugo, kugira ngo izibe icyo cyuho.

Babyeyi, ntimukigire intungane. Mujye mwemera amakosa kandi musabe abana banyu imbabazi, mu gihe bibaye ngombwa. Bana, igihe Mama na Papa bemeye amakosa yabo, mujye murushaho kubakunda.​—Umubwiriza 7:16.

Ni koko, umuryango wunze ubumwe utuma habaho urugo rurimo amahoro, umutekano n’ibyishimo. Umusizi w’Umudage witwaga Goethe yigeze kuvuga ati “umuntu wishima kurusha abandi bose, yaba umwami cyangwa umuturage wo muri rubanda, ni ubonera ibyishimo mu rugo rwe.” Ku babyeyi n’abana barangwa no gushimira, nta hantu na hamwe hagombye kubarutira imuhira.

Mu by’ukuri, muri iki gihe umuryango wugarijwe n’ibitotezo biterwa n’isi turimo. Ariko kubera ko umuryango ukomoka ku Mana, uzarokoka. Umuryango wawe uzarokoka, kandi nawe uzarokoka, nukurikiza inama zikiranuka z’Imana zagenewe gutuma habaho imibereho y’ibyishimo mu muryango.

[Ibisobanuro ahagana hasi ku ipaji]