Vechiduku Vanobvunza Kuti . . .

Kurambireiko Uri Mhandara?

“UMHANDARA,” anodaro munyori Lesley Jane Nonkin, “hwazova hwakafanana namazino omucheche anotanga kubuda, ‘chimwe chinhu chokurasikirwa nacho usati wapedza kufunda.’” Kutaura kwakafanana naikoku kunoratidzira chimiro chamadiro, chinotenderwa icho pwere zhinji dzinacho kuvatano. Mazuva ano, pwere ichiri mhandara sezvingabvira ingarangarirwa seyechienzi, yechinyakare. Munzvero imwe yepwere, vakomana vakabvuma kuti vakanga “vachidisa zvikuru” kurasikirwa norucheno rwavo. Vasikana mhandara vakabvuma kunzwa “vasiri venguva dzose.”

Sokuratidza kwakaita nyaya yakapfuura, zvisinei, umhandara hwakafanira mumeso aMwari.a Iye anohukoshesa zvikuru uye anoshurikidza vatano yapamberi peroorano seisina kururama mutsika neinokuvadza. (1 VaTesaronika 4:3-8) Kunyange zvakadaro, kuramba uri mhandara kunoda kutarisana nedzvinyiriro huru. Neiko pwere ichifanira kuita saizvozvo? Pane betsero dzokuramba uri mhandara here?

Inzira Yokuwana Nayo Rudo Here?

Pwere zhinji dzinofunga nezvevatano senzirawo hayo yokuratidzira nayo rudo—kana kuti kuva anodiwa nomumwe munhu. Kunongova kwomuzvarirwo kuda kudiwa. Uye pwere kazhinji kazhinji dzine zvinodikanwa chaizvo muna ikoku. Bhuku rinonzi Coping With Teenage Depression rinotsanangura, kuti: “Ukuru huri kuderera hwokuva pedyo nokurera vana mumhuri zhinji hunoparira vayaruki kutsvaka kune imwe nzvimbowo zvayo nyaradzo yakadaro nokuva pedyo. Mhuri zhinji nhasi dzinorarama upenyu hwakabatikana nenguva shomanene nokuda kwomumwe nomumwe uye nokuda kwemibato inogoveranwa nokuvimbana. . . . Kana muyaruki asingagoni kuwana rudo netarisirwo pamusha, iye . . . achaona mubato wevatano senhano yokupedzisira kukuva pedyo nechibvumikiso chokuva anodiwa naanokosheswa.”

Ikoku kwakabvumikisa kuva kwechokwadi kumusikana muduku anonzi Ann. Iye anotsanangura, kuti: “Kune vanhu vaduku vazhinji vanonzwa sokunge vasiri kudiwa, zvichida nemhaka yokuti vabereki vavo havavaratidzi ngwariro yakawanda. Nokukurumidza vanoda uye vanoshuva kudiwa kana kuti kuva pedyo nomumwe munhu. Ikoku kwakaitika kwandiri. Ndakatendeukira kumukomana nokuda kworudo.”

Rudo rwechokwadi, zvisinei, “haruzvibati nenzira isina kufanira, harutsvaki fariro dzarwo rumene.” (1 VaKorinte 13:4, 5, NW) Mukati momugariro weroorano inokudzwa, vatano inobatira donzo rinokosha nerakaisvonaka. (Genesi 1:28; Zvirevo 5:15-19) Asi kunze kweroorano, kazhinji kazhinji inobatira zvishomanene zvikuru kupfuura nyaradzo yekuvadziko yemirangariro, kunzvenga dzvinyiriro, nzira yokutsigira nayo kuzvikudza kwouchenjeri, mhinduro kudzvinyiriro yavaenzani, kana kuti banza rokufarikanya kuva pedyo kweroorano usingagamuchiri mitoro yayo. Dr. Louis Fine akapedzisa, kuti: “Zvikurukuru, chiito chevatano chomuyaruki muduku hachina ushamwari, ndechoruvengo, uye kuzviparadza; hachisi ratidzirwo yokutarisira, kugoverana, kana kuti kunzwa.”—“After All We’ve Done for Them”—Understanding Adolescent Behavior.

Ann akawana ikoku kuva kwechokwadi muchinoitika chake. “Ndakava napamuviri,” anoyeuka kudaro. “Uye apo ikoko kwakaitika, ndakaziva kuti vabereki vangu vaiitira hanya, kuti vaindida. Vakanga vari vabereki vangu vakaomerera neni mukati mose mokuva napamuviri kwangu—kwete mukomana wandakatendeukira kwaari nokuda kworudo. Aenda.”

Kunyange apo kunenge kusina miuyo yakaipisisa, yakadai sapamuviri, inovapo, ukama husiri hwapamutemo kazhinji kazhinji hunosiya mumwe achinzwa akuvadzwa uye achisiri chinhu. Bhuku rinonzi The Private Life of the American Teenager, rinoti: “Vamwe vanonzwa vadyeredzerwa navakomana avo vanotyisidzira kuenda kutoti vabvumirana kuva nevatano. Uye kana vakabvumirana, kazhinji kazhinji vanoguma vachinzwa vashandiswa, zvikurukuru kana ukama hwacho hukaguma kana kuti kana hukapfuurira pahwaro hwevatano bedzi bedzi.”

Paunenge Uri Muduku Zvikuru Kuti Uroore Kana Kuti Kuroorwa

Vamwe vanonzwa kuti vatano inogona kubetsera vaviri kuswedera pedyo nomumwe nomumwe. Asi kana vaviri vari vaduku zvikuru kuti varoorane, idonzoi iro kuva pedyo kwazvo kunobatira? Muuyo wacho unogona kuva bedzi marwadzo endangariro apo ukama hwacho hunotambura kuputsika kwahwo kunodokuva kusingadzivisiki. Mubhuku rake rinonzi How to Raise Parents, munyori Clayton Barbeau anotiyeuchidza kuti “kuyaruka ndaapo unenge uri kuvaka hunhu hwako, uchinzvera zvauri.” Iye anobvunza, kuti: “Kana usingazivi zvauri, unogona sei kuda, uye naizvozvo kuziva, mumwe munhuwo zvake?”

Kunze kwezvo, vatano mukati menyengano inokombamira kukudzvinyirira, kwete kukudziridza, kurukurirano ine revo. Panguva imwe cheteyo, kunzwa kwemhaka kunogona kushanda kuparadzanisa vaviri. (VaRoma 2:15) “Mhaka yangu yakaparira mukaha unotova mukuru muukama hwedu,” akabvuma kudaro mumwe musikana. “Ndakatsamwira [mukomana wangu] nokuda kwokundiita kuti ndinzwe zvakashata kwazvo pamusoro pangu ndimene. Ndaisagona kunyange kutarira vabereki vangu mumaziso zvandainzwa kunyara.” Imwe pwere inochema, kuti: “Ndakarega chinhu chiri chose chandaidavira machiri, mipimo yangu nokuzviremekedza, uye hana yangu yakachena—zvose kuti ndinzwe ndichidiwa.”

Nokudaro munyori Clayton Barbeau akakupeta zvakanakisisa paakati: “Ndinofunga kuti vayaruki vanotamba nevatano vakafanana navacheche vari kubata nitroglycerin.”

Chinhu Chinokosha Kuroorano Inofadza Here?

Dzimwe pwere dzinonzwa kuti kuwana ruzivo rwokuzviwanira rwevatano kuchadzigadzirira zviri nane nokuda kweroorano. Maidi anoratidza zvinopesana. Kutanga, zvinetso zvevatano muroorano kazhinji kazhinji zvakabatanidzwa nezvinhu zvemirangariro—kwete kusava noruzivo rwokuzviwanira muvatano. Sezvingabvira, vatano yapamberi peroorano inoparadza roorano. Inokuvadza ruremekedzo kune mumwe nomumwe uye inodzidzisa vaviri kutaura kune mumwe nomumwe zvikurukuru pahwaro hwokunyama; kuva pedyo kwemirangariro kunoregeredzwa. Sokutaura kunoita bhuku rinonzi Building a Successful Marriage: “Kuvatana kwapamberi peroorano hakugoni zvikurukuru kuva pamwero womuviri, kunoratidzirwa noudyire panzvimbo pokufarirana.” Pakupedzisira, murangariro woudyire wevatano unoguma nenhamo yeroorano. Gutsikano yeroorano inouya apo vanyakuroorana vanoshandisa nheyo dzeBhaibheri uye vanoitira hanya zvikuru kupa kupfuura kugamuchira nenzira youdyire.—1 VaKorinte 7:3; enzanisa naMabasa 20:35.

Bhuku rinonzi Why Wait Till Marriage? rinoonesa chimwe chinetso: “Varume navakadzi avo vakava vamadiro muvatano pamberi peroorano havagoni kukarirwa kuchinja nenzira yenenji pavanoroora kana kuti kuroorwa. Nokuhesvura kushomanene, vanopfuurira kudzora kunyanduka kwavo kwevatano sezvavaiita vasati varoorana.” Bhuku racho rinogumisa, kuti: “Kana kuvimbika muroorano kuchikosha kwauri, ipapo ziva kuti kunobatanidzwa nokuvimbika pamberi peroorano.” Kuramba uri mhandara kusvikira muroorano kunogona kukubetsera kukudziridza simba retsika rinodikanwa kuteerera murairo weBhaibheri, unoti: “Roorano ngaive inokudzwa pakati pavose, uye huvato hweroorano ngahuve husina kusvipiswa, nokuti Mwari achatonga zvifeve nemhombwe.”—VaHebheru 13:4, NW.

Nokudaro imwe nyaya yomumagazini inoremekedzwa yezvokurapwa inogumisa, kuti: “Kwakajeka kuti mhandara dzine banza riri nane rakadeya kutaurwa rebudiriro yeroorano nemhaka yokuti kazhinji kazhinji dzine dzimwe tsika, dzakadai sokuzvipira kukuru zvikuru kubasa, mano akawanda okunonotsa gutsikano, itiro hanya yewedzero yokutevera mitemo, uye zvinhu zvakafanana.” Nokudaro avo vanorasa nenzira youpenzi umhandara hwavo vachava nezvakawanda zvokuzvidemba pamusoro pazvo.b Mumwe musikana akati: “Ndine makore 14 okukura uye ndakarasikirwa noumhandara hwangu. Nomwoyo wangu wose nomweya, ndinokudemba zvikuru. Mwoyo wangu unorwadza nemhaka yokuti ndaida kuva mukadzi woumhandara uyo murume wangu womunguva yemberi aizoshuva.”

Kudzivisa Kuzvitadzira Umene

Pane betsero imwe yokupedzisira kuumhandara yaunofanira kurangarira. Bhaibheri rinoratidza kuti avo vasingateereri mitemo yaMwari vari “kuzvitadzira vamene setuso yechakaipa.” (2 Petro 2:13, NW) Vatano yapamberi peroorano ingagona sei kuguma nokuzvitadzira umene kwakadaro? Rangarira, somuenzaniso, imwe nyaya yomumagazini inonzi Seventeen: “Vanzveri veAIDS vanotaura kuti vari kushamiswa nenzira inowedzera nezvavanoona sokuparadzirwa kunokura kwoutachiona hweAIDS pakati pavayaruki.” Bva, pasinei hapo nokuzivisa kwose kwakapoteredza iyi hosha inouraya, imwe fundo inozivisa kuti “chinenge chikamu chimwe bedzi muzvitatu [chepwere dzakanzverwa] chakanga chachinja mufambiro wacho wevatano somuuyo worutyo rwechirwere chacho.”

Pwere dzakadaro dzinokundikanawo kuziva kuti mufambiro woutere ungaguma napamuviri, kuwanwa kwezvirwere zvinopfuudzwa muvatano mukuwedzera kuAIDS, nhamo yemirangariro, hana yakatsva, uye—chakaipisisa chazvose—ukama hwakakuvadzwa naMwari. Usazvitadzira umene. Zvirevo 14:16 inoti: “Wakachenjera anotya uye ari kubva pauipi.” Usayevedzwa nokudavira ngano dze“vatano yakakotsekana.” Kana ari Mwari, vatano bedzi yakakotsekana neinogamuchirika iri mukati mechisungo cheroorano. Kusvikira panguva iyeyo, koshesa umhandara hwako. Usabvumira vamwe vachikuita kuti unyadziswe nahwo kana kuti kukupesvedzera kuhurasa.

[Mashoko Omuzasi]

[Mufananidzo uri papeji 26]

Vazhinji avo vanorega umhandara hwavo pamberi peroorano vanonzwa vadyeredzerwa