Vechiduku Vanobvunza Kuti . . .

Neiko Pasina Chinhu Chandinoita Chinombova Chakanaka Zvikuru?

“Ndakakuwana kwakaoma zvikuru kufadza baba vangu apo ndakavamba kuvashandira. Ndakanga ndine makore 15 bedzi, uye basa racho rakanga rakaoma zvikuru; apo ndakaita chikanganiso, vakatsamwa zvikuru.”—Randy.

“Amai vangu vairatidzika somutikitivha wechipurisa—vachitsvaka nguva dzose pandakakundikana. Ndisati ndava nenguva yokupedza mibato yangu, vangaongorora basa rangu, vachitsvaka zvikanganiso.”—Craig.

“Vabereki vangu vainditaurira nguva dzose pamusoro pechimwe chinhu. Vakataura kuti ndaisagona zvangu kuva ndinoita kuti upenyu hwangu huve hwakarongeka. Chikoro, musha, ungano—zvaisandipa zororo.”—James.

KUNORATIDZIKA here padzimwe nguva sokunge kuti hapana chinhu chaunoita chinombova chakanaka zvikuru kuti chifadze vabereki vako? Unombonzwa here sokunge kuti chiito chako chiri chose chinoongororwa, kuti nguva dzose uri kutariswa, unotsoropodzwa nguva dzose, asi usingatongokundi kunzvera? Kana zvakadaro, unganzwa kuti uri kurarama munyumwiro yokusatendera kwavabereki.

Mugariro wako hausati uchitongova wechienzi. Dr. Joyce L. Vedral akati: “Mukuwirirana navachiri kuyaruka vazhinjisa, vabereki vanotuka. . . . Vanodzokorora pamusoro pechinhu chiri chose kubvira pakuchengeta kamuri rako rakatsvinda kusvikira kukurasa marara, kubvira pakushandisa kamuri rokugezera kusvikira kunzira yaunopfeka nayo, kubvira pachisarudzo chako cheshamwari kusvikira kumamakisi ako nebasa rinoitirwa kumba.” Nepo ikoku nenzira inonzwisisika kungakutsamwisa padzimwe nguva, hakusati zvako kuri chinhu chakashata. Kunongova bedzi kwomuzvarirwo kuti vabereki vape vana vavo chirango neruramiso; ndeimwe nzira yavanoratidza nayo rudo nokuda kwavo. Sokukutaura kunoita Bhaibheri, baba vachatsiura “mwanakomana wavo wavanofarira.”—Zvirevo 3:12.

Zvino kana usina kutongogamuchira shoko rokururamisa kuna vabereki vako, haungazoshamisiki here kana ivo vaikuitira hanya? (Zvirevo 13:24; enzanisa naVaHebheru 12:8.) Unogona kuonga, ipapoka, kuti une vabereki vanokuitira hanya zvikuru kuti vakururamise! Pashure pokurangarira zvose, uri muduku uye hauna ruzivo rwakati rwokuzviwanira; ruramiso pane dzimwe nguva ingava yakakodzera. Pasina nhungamiro, ungakurirwa nyore nyore no“kuchiva kwoujaya.”—2 Timotio 2:22.

Rangarira zvimwe zvezvinetso zvishuvo izvozvo zvinogona kuparira kupwere. Munyori Clayton Barbeau anotaura, kuti: “Inyika ine ngozi nokuda kwavachiri kuyaruka: awa iri yose, munhu muduku anourawa mutsaona yemotokari inokonzerwa nokudhakwa; vanenge vachiri kuyaruka vane zviuru gumi nezviviri vanozviuraya gore rimwe nerimwe; vasikana vane mirioni pagore vanova napamuviri; mamirioni matatu avana nhasi zvidhakwa, hosha dzinopomeranwa muvatano dzakapararira.” (How to Raise Parents) Hakushamisi kuti vabereki vako vangasarudza kukupa ruramiso yenguva dzose! Sokutaura kunoita Bhaibheri, “kuti wakachenjera anzwe, awedzere kudzidza; . . . Mapenzi anoshora uchenjeri nokurairirwa.”—Zvirevo 1:5, 7; enzanisa naZvirevo 10:17.

Chikonzero Nei Kuchirwadza

Zvisinei, “kuranga kwose, kana kuchaitwa, kwakaita sokusingafadzi, kunochemedza.” (VaHebheru 12:11) Ikoku kwakadaro zvikurukuru apo unenge uri muduku. Pashure pokurangarira zvose, hunhu hwako hahusati hwakura zvizere; uchiri kukura uye kudzidza zvauri. Naizvozvo kutsoropodza—kunyange apo kunenge kwasanofungwa ndokupiwa nenzira younyoro—kungaparira pfundepfunde. Bhuku rinonzi How to Survive Your Adolescent’s Adolescence rinogumisa kuti vachiri kuyaruka vano“tapurwa zvikuru nokutsoropodza.” Sokutaura kwakaita imwe pwere, “kutsoropodza kunondikuvadza.”

Asi apo kunobva kuvabereki vako, kukuvadzwa kwacho kunogona kuva kukuru zvikuru. Mubhuku rake rinonzi Helping Your Teenager Deal With Stress, Dr. Bettie Youngs anotiyeuchidza kuti kuri kupfurikidza “nokutendera kana kuti kusatendera kwavamwe” kuti pwere “inokudziridza murangariro pamusoro pokufanira kwayo noukoshi somunhu.” Vabereki, kunyanguvezvo, ndivo chinhu chikurusa mukubetsera pwere kuumba uku kuzvirangarira. Naizvozvo apo mubereki anokururamisa kana kuti kunyunyuta pamusoro penzira yaunoita nayo chimwe chinhu, kunogona kuva kunopedza simba, kunorwadza.

Kunyange zvakadaro, unofanira kugumisa here kuti hapana chinhu chaunoita chinombova chakanaka zvikuru? Kana kuti uri mukundikani chaiyeiye nemhaka bedzi yokuti vabereki vako vakaratidzira shomanene dzemhosho dzako? Zvomenemene, vanhu vose vanoperevedza nenzira inosuruvarisa pakukwana. (VaRoma 3:23) Uye kuita zvikanganiso rutivi rwomuitiro wokudzidza. (Enzanisa naJobho 6:24.) Chinetso ndechokuti, vabereki vako vangava nezvishoma zvokutaura paunoita chimwe chinhu zvakarurama—asi vangataura zvikuru apo unokanganisa! Ikoku kunokuvadza, asi hakutongorevi kuti uri mukundikani chaiye. Dzidza kugamuchira kutsoropodzwa nenzira yakadzikama usinganyanyonetseka, uye usakurerutsa kana kuti kukurirwa nako.—Enzanisa naVaHebheru 12:5.

Kutsoropodza Kusina Kunaka

Zvakadiniko kana kutsoropodza kusina kunaka? Vamwe vabereki vanogadza nenzira isina mufungo mipimo yakakwirira nokuda kwavana vavo. Vangatsamwisa vana vavo kupfurikidza nokuvatuka nguva dzose pamusoro pezvinhu zvisingakoshi. Uye vabereki vane zvikonzero zvapamutemo zvokunyunyuta vangaita kutsoropodza nenzira yehasha, yokuzvidza. Dr. Bettie Youngs anotaurawo kuti “kutuka [kwomubereki], kutaurisa, kurerutsa, kunyadzisa, kupomera, uye kutyisidzira” ndizvo “mitoo yokuparadza nayo kurukurirano, . . . iyo inosekesa chivimbo chomwana chomunhu oga uye pfungwa yokuva nefaniro.”

Apo munhu akarurama Jobho akadenhwa nedirano yokutsoropodza kusina kunaka, iye akadanidzira, kuti: “Muchatambudza mweya wangu kusvikira riniko, nokundipwanya namashoko enyu here?” (Jobho 19:2) Nenzira yakafanana, kuderedzwa nguva dzose nomubereki kana kuti kuenzaniswa nemipimo yakakwirira zvikuru nenzira isina mufungo kunogona kutsamwisa pwere, kuchimuparira “kuora mwoyo.” (VaKorose 3:21) Bhuku rinonzi Coping With Teenage Depression, rakanyorwa naKathleen McCoy, rinototaura kuti “kusakwanisa kurarama mukuwirirana nekariro dzakakwirira dzavabereki kunogona kuparira kurasikirwa chaiko kwokuzviremekedza uye kunoparira kuora mwoyo mupwere.”

Zvamazvirokwazvo, kutsoropodza kwakadaro kusina kunaka kunowanzoparira mugariro wakashata: Vabereki vako vanokuwanira mhaka. Unodavidza kupfurikidza nokunzwa zvakashata pamusoro pako umene. Nemhaka yokuti unonzwa zvakashata pamusoro pako umene, unoedza kuita zvakashata apo vabereki vako vanokukumbira kuita chimwe chinhu. Muuyo wacho? Kutsoropodza kwakanyanya!

Chikonzero Chokutsoropodza

Unogona sei kugumisa uyu mugariro unopedza simba? Kutanga, edza kunzwisisa chikonzero nei vabereki vako vachinzwa nenzira yavanoita nayo. Kutuka kwavo kana kuti kutsoropodza kwenguva dzose kunokuvadza chaizvoizvo here? Kwete sezvingabvira. Dr. Joyce L. Vedral, anobvunza, kuti: “Neiko vachituka? Vanotuka nemhaka yokuti hapana munhu ari kuteerera, kana kuti zvimwe hapana munhu ari kubvuma zvavari. Pavanonyanyakunzwa kuti vanofuratirwa, ndipo pavanonyanyawo kutuka.” Unopa chaizvoizvo vabereki vako ufakazi, ipapoka, hwokuti uri kugamuchira kunyunyuta kwavo here? Kana kuti unoramba kupa ngwariro kumashoko avo? Kana zvakadaro, usashamisika kana kuwanira mhaka kukava kwakanyanyowanda—uye kukuru! Kungarega here, kunyange zvakadaro, kana ukangoshandisa bedzi mashoko aZvirevo 19:20? Ndima iyoyo inorava, kuti: “Teerera kana uchirairirwa, unzwe kana uchidzidziswa, kuti pashure ugova wakachenjera.”

Pane dzimwe nguva mubereki anova anonyanyotsoropodza, kwete nemhaka yokukundikana chaiko kupi nokupi kwako, asi nemhaka bedzi yokuti iye ave ari muchimiro chakashata. Amai vako vava nezuva rakaoma kubasa here? Ipapo vangakombamira zvikuru kupfuura nguva dzose kutaura nenzira isingafadzi newe nemhaka yokuti kamuri rako rinoratidzika kuva risina kuchena. Baba vako vakatsamwa uye vakavhiringidzika nemhaka yokukundikana kwemari yemhuri here? Ipapo, nokusaziva vangataura nenzira isina mufungo “zvinobaya somunondo.” (Zvirevo 12:18) Sezvinobvumwa, ikoku hakuna kunaka. Asi “tinogumburwa tose pazvinhu zvizhinji. Kana munhu asingagumburwi pakutaura, iye munhu wakakwana.” (Jakobho 3:2) Naizvozvo kana Amai kana kuti Baba vakaratidzika kuva vasingafari kana kuti vakatsamwa, chinhu chokuchenjera chokuita ndechokuedza kuzvibata nokungwarira ndokudzivisa kuparira kutsoropodza kupi nokupi.

Savanhu vasina kukwana, vabereki vanogonawo kunetseka nokunzwa kwokusakwanisa. Kukundikana kwako kunogona kuvaita kuti vanzwe sokunge kuti ivo vakundikana! Dr. Vedral anotsanangura, kuti: “Ungaunza kumba kadhi romushumo wakashata, uye baba vako vangati, ‘Chii, uri benzi? Ndine mwanakomana fuza.’ Baba vako chokwadika havafungi chaizvoizvo kuti uri fuza. Chavari kutaura chaizvoizvo ndechokuti, ‘Ndinozvidya mwoyo kuti handisiri kuita basa rangu mukukukurudzira kufunda.’”

Kuzvidya mwoyo kwakadaro kunogonawo kusunda vabereki kugadza mipimo yakakwirira nenzira isina mufungo. Imwe pwere inonzi Jason yakachema, kuti: “Hapana chinhu chandakamboita chakambova chakakwana. Kana ndikabvisa mashizha muruvanze, Baba vanoda kuziva kuti nei ndisina kuchenesa garaji pashure pokunge ndapedza kubvisa mashizha. Kana ndikasasvitsa ‘A’ muchikoro, vabereki vangu vanoda kuziva chikonzero nei yakanga isiri ‘A’ uye vanondiudza kuti ndiri dofo.” Asi mupi zano wechikoro akataura navabereki vaJason uye akawana izvi: “Kariro dzavo dzakakwiririsa zvikuru nokuda kwomwanakomana wavo dzakaratidzira kunzwa kwavo vamene kwokusakwanisa uye kuodzwa mwoyo kwavo nezvisarudzo zvavo vamene zvebasa uye mugariro wezvemari.”—Coping With Teenage Depression.

Upi kana upi uri mugariro wako pamusha, zvimwe unogona kunzwisisa zviri nani chikonzero nei vabereki vako umene vangakombamira kuva vanotsoropodza pane dzimwe nguva. Asi ndedzipi dziri dzimwe nzira dzokugonana nadzo nokuwanira mhaka kwavabereki. Pane here nzira dzokubetserekana nadzo kubva mukutsoropodza kwavo? Iyi mibvunzo ichakurukurwa munyaya inotevera.

[Mufananidzo uri papeji 13]

Apo mubereki anonyunyuta pamusoro penzira yaunoita nayo chimwe chinhu, kunogona kuva kunopedza simba