Ganhuro 31

Ndinoziva Sei Kana Ruri Rudo Chairwoirwo?

RUDO—kuvadanani vanofara zvokufara zviya ndichinoitika chakavanzika chinokubata, kunzwa kwomufaro mukurusa kunoitika kamwe kamwe. Rudo, ivo vanodavira, kuti chaizvoizvo inhau yomwoyo, chimwe chinhu chisingagoni kunzwisiswa, chinongowanwa bedzi. Rudo runokunda zvose uye runogara nokusingaperi . . .

Naizvozvo chirevo chorudo chinopfuurira kudaro. Uye hapana panikiro pamusoro pakwo, kudanana kunogona kuva chinoitika chakaisvonaka nomutoo wechienzi. Asika rudo chii chaizvoizvo?

Kudanana Pakuonana Kwokutanga Here?

David akasangana naJanet kwenguva yokutanga papati. Iye nokukurumidza akayevedzwa nechimiro chake chakasanoumbika uye nzira iyo bvudzi rake raiwira nayo pameso ake paaiseka. Janet akafadzwa nameso ake matema nekurukurirano yake inofadza. Kwakaratidzika kuva nhau yokudanana pakuonana kwokutanga!

Mukati mamavhiki matatu akatevera, David naJanet vakanga vasingaparadzanisiki. Ipapo humwe usiku Janet akagamuchira runhare runopedza simba rose zvaro rwakabva kune aichimbova mukomana wake. Iye akadana David nokuda kwenyaradzo. Asi David, achinzwa atyisidzirwa uye anyonganiswa, akadavidza nokusaitira hanya. Rudo rwuya rwavaifunga kuti rwaizogara nokusingaperi rwakaputsika usiku ihwohwo.

Mabhaisikopo, mabhuku, nemifananidzo yeterevhizheni zvingakuita kuti udavire kuti rudo runovapo pakuonana kwokutanga runogara nokusingaperi. Sezvinobvumwa, yevedzo yokunyama inowanzova inoita kuti vanhu vaviri vaonane pakutanga. Sokutaura kunoita rimwe jaya, kuti: “Kwakaoma ku‘ona’ hunhu hwomunhu.” Asika chii chiri icho munhu “anoda” apo ushamwaridzani hunongova bedzi hwamaawa mashomanene kana kuti mazuva? Hauzati uri mufananidzo wendangariro here unoratidzirwa nomunhu iyeyo? Zvamazvirokwazvo, iwe hauzivi zvakawanda pamusoro pemifungo, kariro, kutya, rongedzero, miitiro, unyanzvi, kana kuti mano zvomunhu iyeyo. Wangosangana bedzi nechitarisiko chokunze, kwete “munhu wakavandika womwoyo.” (1 Petro 3:4) Ko rudo rwakadaro runogona kugara zvakadini?

Zvitarisiko Zvinonyengera

Kupfuurirazve, zvitarisiko zvokunze zvinogona kuva zvinonyengera. Bhaibheri rinoti: “Ruyevedzo rungava runonyengera, uye rutsvindo rungava rusina maturo.” Chiputiriso chinon’animira chechipo hachizati chichikuudza chinhu nezvechiri mukati. Kureva idi, chiputiriso chakaisvonaka chingafukidzira chipo chisingabetseri.—Zvirevo 31:30.

Zvirevo inoti: “Sezvakaita mhete yendarama iri mumhino dzenguruve, ndozvakaita mukadzi akatsvinda anotsauka pakuva nomufungo.” (Zvirevo 11:22) Mhete dzomumhuno dzakanga dziri chishongo chakakurumbira munguva dzeBhaibheri. Dzakanga dzakaisvonaka, kazhinji kazhinji dzaiitwa nendarama yakasimba. Nomutoo womuzvarirwo, mhete yakadaro yaizova chinhu chokutanga chamabwe anokosha chawaizocherechedza pamukadzi.

Nomutoo wakakodzera, chirevo chinoenzanisira mukadzi akatsvinda nechokunze anoshaiwa “kuva nomufungo” ne“mhete yomumhuno iri mumhuno yenguruve.” Rutsvindo harumbobetseri mukadzi asina mufungo; chishongo chisina maturo paari. Pakupedzisira, hachizati chichimuitazve anoyevedza kupinda zvaizoita mhete yakaisvonaka inotsvindisa nguruve! Haiwa, imhosho yakadini, ipapoka, ku‘danana’ namaonekere anoita mumwe munhu—ndokufuratira zviri munhuyo nechomukati.

“Chinhu Chinoisvonyengera Kupfuura Zvose”

Zvisinei, vamwe vanorangarira kuti mwoyo womunhu une chisarudzo chinovimbika chorudo. ‘Ingoteerera bedzi mwoyo wako,’ vanotaura kudaro. ‘Uchaziva hako apo runova rudo chairwoirwo!’ Sezvineiwo, maidi anopokanidza uku kutaura. Kunzvera kwakaitwa umo vechiduku vane 1 079 (vane mazera amakore 18 kusvikira ku 24) vakashuma kuva neavhareji yokudanana kunomwe kusvikira panguva iyeyo. Vazhinjisa vakabvuma kuti rudo rwavo rwekare rwaingova bedzi rudo rwoufuza—rudo runopfuura, runopera. Asika, idzi pwere “nguva dzose dzairondedzera chinoitika chadzo chazvino uno sorudo”! Zhinjisa, kunyange zvazvo zvakadaro, sezvinobvira pane rimwe zuva dzicharangarira kudanana kwavo kwazvino uno sezvakaita kwakapfuura kwadzo—sorudo rwoufuzawo zvarwo.

Ngwavaira ndeyokuti zviuru zvavaviri gore riri rose zvinoroorana munyengedzo yokuva ‘vanodanana’ kungondowana bedzi nokukurumidza pashure pacho kuti ivo vakakanganisa nomutoo wakakomba. Rudo rwoufuza “runonyengedza varume navakadzi vasingakariri kupinda muroorano dzisina kutsarukana samakwai anoenda kundourawa,” anodaro Ray Short mubhuku rake rinonzi Sex, Love, or Infatuation.

“Iye unovimba nomwoyo wake amene ibenzi.” (Zvirevo 28:26) Kazhinji kazhinji kakanyanyisa, chisarudzo chomwoyo wedu chakatsauswa kana kuti chakarasiswa. Kureva idi, Bhaibheri rinoti: “Mwoyo unonyengera kupfuura zvinhu zvose.” (Jeremia 17:9, The Holy Bible in Union Shona) Bva, chirevo chadudzwa pamusoro apa chinopfuurira, kuti: “Asi uyo anofamba muuchenjeri ndiye uyo uchapukunyuka.” Iwewo unogona kupukunyuka ngozi nokukangaidzika izvo dzimwe pwere dzakatambura kana iwe ukadzidza musiano uri pakati porudo rwoufuza norudo runotsanangurwa muBhaibheri—rudo rusingatongokundikani.

Rudo Runorwisana Norudo Rwoufuza

“Rudo rwoufuza ibofu uye runoda kugara rwakadaro. Haruzati ruchida kutarira huchokwadi,” anobvuma kudaro Calvin wezera ramakore 24. Mumwe musikana wezera ramakore 16, Kenya, akawedzera, kuti: “Apo unoda nomutoo woufuza mumwe munhu, unofunga hako kuti chinhu chiri chose chaanoita chakakwana bedzi.”

Rudo rwoufuza rudo rwenyengedzo. Haruna uchokwadi uye runoudyire. Vanhu vane rudo rwoufuza vane muitiro wokuti: ‘Ini zvomenene ndinonzwa ndichikosha pandinenge ndinaye. Ini handigoni kurara. Ini handigoni kudavira kuti ikoku kwakaisvonaka zvikuru sei’ kana kuti, ‘Iye anondiita zvomenemene kuti ndinzwe zvakanaka.’ Cherechedza kuti “ini” anoshandiswa kazhinji kakadini? Ukama hwakavakirwa paudyire hune chokwadi chokukundikana! Zvisinei, cherechedza rondedzero yeBhaibheri yorudo rwechokwadi: “Rudo runo mwoyo murefu nomutsa. Rudo harune shanje, haruganzi, haruzvitutumadzi, haruiti nomutoo usina kufanira, harutsvaki fariro dzarwo rumene, harutsamwi. Harurangariri chakaipa.”—1 VaKorinte 13:4, 5.

Sezvo irwo “rusati rwuchitsvaka fariro dzarwo rumene,” rudo rwakavakirwa panheyo yeBhaibheri haruzvirangariri kana kuti kuva noudyire. Chokwadi, vaviri vangava vane kunzwa kwakasimba kwokudanana nokuyevedzana. Asika uku kunzwa kunodzikamiswa nomurangariro noruremekedzo rukuru nokuda kwomumwe munhu. Pamunenge muchidanana zvomenemene, unoitira hanya zvikuru kwazvo nokuda kwegarikano nomufaro zvomumwe munhu sezvaunoita nokuda kwezvako umene. Hauzati uchirega kunzwa kune simba kuchiparadza chisarudzo chakanaka.

Muenzaniso Worudo Chairwoirwo

Nhauro yeBhaibheri yaJakobho naRakeri inosanoenzanisira ikoku. Ava vaviri vakasangana patsime apo Rakeri akanga auya kuzonwisa makwai ababa vake. Jakobho akakurumidza kuyevedzwa naye kwete bedzi nemhaka yokuti iye akanga “akanaka muchimiro uye akatsvinda pachiso” asi nokuti iye akanga ari munamati waJehovha.—Genesi 29:1-12, 17.

Pashure pokupedza mwedzi uzere achigara pamusha pemhuri yaRakeri, Jakobho akaita kuti kuzivikanwe kuti iye akanga achidanana naRakeri uye akanga achida kumuroora. Rwaingova bedzi rudo rwoufuza here? Nyangwe napaduku pose zvapo! Mukati momwedzi iwowo, iye akanga aona Rakeri mumugariro wake womuzvarirwo—mabatire aaiita vabereki vake navamwe, mabatire aaiita basa rake somufudzikadzi, marangaririre nomutoo wakakomba aaiita kunamatwa kwaJehovha. Pasina panikiro iye akamuona pazvose zviri zviviri “zvakanakisisa” zvake ne“zvakashatisisa” zvake. Naizvozvo rudo rwake nokuda kwake rwakanga rusati ruri kunzwa kusingadzorwi asi rudo rusina udyire rwakavakirwa pamurangariro mukuru unoruremekedzo.

Ikoko zvakwakanga kwakadaro, Jakobho aigona kuzivisa kuti iye akanga achidisa kushandira baba vake makore manomwe kuti agokwanisa kuva naye somudzimai wake. Chokwadi hapana rudo rwoufuza rwaizogona kugara kwenguva refu yakadaro! Rudo bedzi rwechokwadi, fariro isina udyire muno mumwe, zvaizoita kuti makore iwawa aratidzike “samazuva mashomanene.” Nokuda kworudo irworwo chairwoirwo, ivo vakakwanisa kuchengeta rucheno rwavo mukati menhambo iyoyo.—Genesi 29:20, 21.

Kunoda Nguva!

Rudo rwechokwadi naizvozvo harukuvadzwi nenguva. Zvamazvirokwazvo, kazhinji kazhinji mutoo uri nani wokuedza nawo kunzwa kwako nokuda kwomumwe munhu ndiko kurega nguva yakati kuti ichipfuura. Kupfuurirazve, sokucherechedza kwakaita imwe mhandara inonzi Sandra, kuti: “Munhu haazati chaizvoizvo achikuratidzira hunhu hwake kupfurikidza nokungotaura bedzi kuti: ‘Izvi ndozvandiri. Zvino woziva zvose pamusoro pangu.’” Aiwa, kunodawo nguva kuziva mumwe munhu waunofarira.

Nguva inokubvumirawo kunzvera fariro yako yorudo mubetsero yeBhaibheri. Yeuka, rudo “haruiti nomutoo usina kufanira, harutsvaki fariro dzarwo rumene.” Ko shamwari yako inodisisa nokuda kwebudiriro yerongedzero dzako here—kana kuti dzake amene bedzi? Ko iye anoratidzira ruremekedzo nokuda kwomurangariro wako, kunzwa kwako here? Ati akudzvinyirira kuita zvinhu ‘zvisina kufanira’ zvomenemene nokuda kwokugutsa ruchiva rwevatano rwoudyire here? Ko uyu munhu anokombamira kukuderedza here kana kuti kukusimudzira pamberi pavamwe? Kubvunza mibvunzo yakadai seiyi kunogona kubetsera kunzvera kunzwa kwako nomutoo une donzo zvikuru.

Kukurumidzisa rudo kunokoka ngwavaira. “Ini ndakangodanana naye bedzi, nokukurumidza uye zvikuru,” akatsanangura kudaro Jill wezera ramakore 20. Pashure perudo rwechimbichimbi rwemwedzi miviri, iye akaroorwa. Asi mhaka dzakavanzwa kusvikira panguva ino dzakavamba kubuda. Jill akavamba kuratidzira kumwe kwokusachengeteka kwake nokuva kwake noudyire. Murume wake, Rick, akarashikirwa neyevedzo yake yorudo ndokuva noudyire. Pashure pokuve varoorana kwaanenge makore maviri, Jill pane rimwe zuva akachema kuti murume wake akanga ari “wenhando,” “simbe,” uye “asingabudiriri” somurume. Rick akadavidza kupfurikidza nokumurova muchiso nechibhakera chake. Mukuchema, Jill akabuda mumba mavo—nomuroorano yavo.

Kutevera zano reBhaibheri pasina panikiro kwaizodai kwakavabetsera kuchengeta roorano yavo. (VaEfeso 5:22-33) Asi zvinhu zvingave zvave zvakasiana sei kudai ivo vakarovedzana zviri nani zvikuru pamberi peroorano! Rudo rwavo rwaizodai rusina kuve “rwomufananidzo” asi rwohunhu chaihwoihwo—rwuya rwune zvose zviri zviviri zvikanganiso nezvinosimbaradza. Kariro dzavo dzaizodai dzakava dzechokwadi zvikuru.

Rudo chairwoirwo haruzati ruchiitika pausiku humwe. Uyewo munhu angakuita mukwanyina akanaka weroorano haazati hake ari mumwe munhu waunowana kuva anoyevedza zvakanyanyisa. Somuenzaniso, Barbara akasangana nerimwe jaya iro iye anobvuma kuti haana kunyanyoyevedzana naro—pakutanga. “Asi sezvandakamuziva zviri nani zvikuru,” anoyeuka kudaro Barbara, “zvinhu zvakachinja. Ndakaona itiro hanya yaStephen nokuda kwavamwe vanhu namaisire aaigaroita fariro dzavamwe pamberi pedzake amene. Aya aiva mavara andaiziva kuti aizoita murume akanaka. Ndakakweverwa kwaari ndokuvamba kumuda.” Roorano yakasimba yakavapo somuuyo.

Naizvozvo unogona sei kuziva rudo chairwoirwo? Mwoyo wako ungataura, asi vimba nendangariro yako yakarovedzwa neBhaibheri. Ziva zvakawanda zvinopfuura “mufananidzo” wokunze womunhu. Ipa ukama nguva yokubuda pachena. Yeuka, rudo rwoufuza runosvika mwero wakakwirira wokufara munguva pfupi asi dzokonokei rwopera. Rudo chairwoirwo runosimba zvikuru kupfurikidza nokufambira mberi kwenguva ndokuva “chisungo chakakwana chomubatanidzwa.”—VaKorose 3:14.

Mibvunzo Yekurukurirano

◻ Chii chiri ngozi yokudanana nechitarisiko chomumwe munhu?

◻ Ko mwoyo wako unogona kuvimbwa nawo pakuziva rudo chairwo here?

◻ Ndeipi iri misiano pakati porudo norudo rwoufuza?

◻ Neiko vaviri vaviri vanoronga misi yokuvhakacha vachiwanzoparadzana? Ikoku kunogarova kusina kururama here?

◻ Unogona sei kubata nokunzwa kwokurambwa kana rudo rwagurwa?

◻ Neiko kuchikosha kupa nguva yokuzivana?

[Mashoko okukwezva vaverengi ari papeji 242]

Ndiye munhu waunodanana naye here kana “mufananidzo” bedzi?

[Mashoko okukwezva vaverengi ari papeji 247]

“Rudo rwoufuza ibofu uye runoda kugara rwakadaro. Haruzati ruchida kutarira huchokwadi.”—Murume wezera ramakore 24

[Mashoko okukwezva vaverengi ari papeji 250]

“Ndinongogona bedzi kuva munhu anonzi ‘Mhoro, wakadini hako?’ Handibvumiri munhu upi noupi kuti aswedere pedyo neni”

[Bhokisi/Mufananidzo uri papeji 248, 249]

Ndinogona Sei Kunaya Pamwoyo Wakaputsika?

Iwe unoziva bedzi kuti uyu ndiye waucharoora kana kuroorwa naye. Munofarikanya kuva pamwe kwomumwe nomumwe, munogoverana fariro dzimwe chetedzo, uye munonzwa yevedzano yorudo. Ipapo, kamwe kamwe, ukama hunogurika, huchiperera mukufufutirwa nehasha—kana mukusvimha misodzi.

Mubhuku rake rinonzi The Chemistry of Love, Dr. Michael Liebowitz anofananidza kutanga kworudo notumhezi twunoparirwa nomurimo une simba. Asi mukufanana nomurimo, rudo rwakadaro runogona kuzhendengura ‘zviratidzo zvamamutsamwoyo’ kana rukapera. Uye hakuiti musiano kana rudo rwuri rudowo zvarwo rwoufuza kana ‘chinhu chaichoicho.’ Zvose zviri zviviri zvinogona kuparira mifaro inodzungaidza—uye kuputsika mwoyo kunorwadza kana ukama hukaguma.

Kunzwa kwokurambwa, kwokukuvadzika, uye zvichida hasha dzinoparirwa somuuyo wokurambana nenzira iyeyo kungashatsa murangariro wako wenguva yemberi. Mumwe mukadzi muduku anotaura nezvake amene so‘wakakuvadzika’ nemhaka yokuva akaregwa nomutoo woutsinye. “Ndinongogona bedzi kuva munhu anonzi ‘Mhoro, wakadini hako?’ [naane mutezo wakasiana] zvino,” iye anodaro. “Handibvumiri munhu upi noupi kuti aswedere pedyo neni.” Apo unonzwa uno musengwa mukuru zvikuru muukama, muuyo wokurambana unogona kuparira kurwadziwa kukuru zvikuru.

Hungu, zvamazvirokwazvo, rusununguko rwokupfimba waunoda rwune mutoro mukurusa: bviro chaiyoiyo yokurambwa. Hapana hapo simbisiro yokuti rudo rwechokwadi ruchakura. Naizvozvo kana mumwe munhu akavamba kukupfimba nevariro dzapachokwadi asi gare gare ndokutaura kuti roorano ingava kusachenjera, wave hako usati uchipedzerwa nguva nomutoo usina kunaka.

Chinetso ndeichi, kunyange kana kugura ushamwari kuchiitwa nokuchenjerera pakutaura kukuru netsitsi, unotosungirwazve kunzwa kuvadziko uye warambwa. Zvisinei, ikoku hakuzati kuri chikonzero chokurashikirwa nokuzviremekedza kwako. Idi rokuti iwe wakanga usina “kururama” mumeso ouyu munhu harizati richireva kuti hauzati uchizova akarurama chaizvo mumeso omumwe munhuwo zvake!

Edza kuisa rudo rwakaparara mumurangariro wakaterama. Kuparadzana kungave kwakasanoratidzira zvinhu zvinovhiringidza pamusoro pomunhu wawakanga wakabatana naye—kusakura mundangariro, kusaziva kuita chisarudzo, kusachinjika, kusashivirira, kushaikwa kwokurangarira nokuda kwokunzwa kwako. Iwawa haazati achitongova mavara anoshuviwa mumukwanyina weroorano.

Zvakadini kana kuparadzana kuri chose chose kurutivi rumwe uye uchipwiswa kuti roorano ingadai yaizosanobudirira? Zvamazvirokwazvo iwe une maruramiro okuita kuti mumwe munhu azive manzwire aunoita. Zvimwe pangove bedzi pane kusanzwisisana kwakati kuti. Kutaura kwokunyanduka kwehasha nokwokusafunga hakuzati kuchipedza chinhu. Uye kana mukomana kana musikana achiomerera pakuparadzana, hapana dikanwo yokuti uzvininipise, uchikumbira nomutoo wokunyengerera nemisodzi nokuda kwezvidakadaka zvomumwe munhu uyo sezvinooneka asina zvidakadaka nokuda kwako. Soromoni akati kune “nguva yokutsvaka nenguva yokurega sechakarasika.”—Muparidzi 3:6.

Zvakadiniko kana une chikonzero chakasimba chokunyumwira kuti wave hako uchishandiswa nomumwe munhu akanga asitongorina fariro yapachokwadi muroorano kubvira pakutanga? Hauzati uchidikanirwa hako kugadzirira mitoo yokutsiva. Iva nechokwadi chokuti kutsauka kwakadaro hakusi kusingacherechedzwi naMwari. Shoko rake rinoti: “Munhu ano utsinye unovigira nhamo panyama yake.”—Zvirevo 11:17; enzanisira naZvirevo 6:12-15.

Panguva nenguva ungatambudzwa noushoma kana neyeuko dzorudo. Kana zvakadaro, kwakarurama chose kuva nokuchema kwakanaka. Kuva akabatikana kunobetserawo, zvimwe mumubato wakati wokunyama kana ushumiri hwechiKristu. (Zvirevo 18:1) Ita kuti ndangariro yako irambe iri pazvinhu zvinofadza nezvinovaka. (VaFiripi 4:8) Dururira mwoyo wako kushamwari yapedyo. (Zvirevo 18:24) Vabereki vako vanogona kuva vanonyaradza zvikuru, kunyange zvazvo kana iwe uchinzwa kuti wakura zvakaringanira kuva anozvimirira. (Zvirevo 23:22) Uye kupfuura zvose, dururira mwoyo wako kuna Jehovha.

Zvino ungaona kudikanwa kwokushandira mamwe mativi ohunhu hwako. Chiono chako chezvaunoda mumukwanyina weroorano chingava chakajeka zvikuru kupinda nakare kose. Uye zvawakava akada ndokurashikirwa, ungasarudza kubata nokupfimbana nomutoo wakati chenjerei zvikuru kana munhu anoshuviwa akavapozve—bviro yakwo ingatova iri huru zvikuru kupinda zvaunofunga.

[Chati iri papeji 245]

Ko Rudo Here Kana Kuti Rudo Rwoufuza?

RUDO RUDO RWOUFUZA

[Mufananidzo uri papeji 244]

Murume kana kuti mukadzi anoyevedza mumuviri, asi asina mufungo, ‘wakafanana nemhete yendarama iri mumhino yenguruve’

[Mufananidzo uri papeji 246]

Munhu anogarokuzvidza pamberi pavamwe angasanova anoshaiwa rudo chairwoirwo nokuda kwako