ʻE Lava ke Lavameʻa ʻa e Ngaahi Fāmili-Uá

ʻOku ala maʻu ha ngaahi fāmili-ua lavameʻa? ʻIo, tautefito kapau ko e faʻahinga kotoa ʻoku kau ki aí ʻoku nau manatuʻi ko e “potu Folofola kotoa pe ne fakamanava mei he ʻOtua, ʻoku ʻaonga foki ki he akonaki, ki he fakaʻilo hala, ki he fakatonutonu, ki he ngaohia ke maʻoniʻoni.” (2 Timote 3:​16) ʻI he taimi ʻoku ngāueʻaki ai ʻe he tokotaha kotoa ʻa e ngaahi tefitoʻi moʻoni ʻo e Tohitapú, ʻoku fakapapauʻi meimei fakaʻaufuli ai ʻa e lavameʻá.

Ko e ʻUlungaanga Tefitó

ʻOku fokotuʻu ʻe he Tohitapú ha ngaahi lao totonu siʻisiʻi pē ke puleʻiʻaki ʻa e ngaahi vahaʻangatae fakaetangatá. ʻOku lahi taha pē ʻene fakalototoʻaʻi ʻa hono fakatupulekina ʻo e ngaahi ʻulungaanga mo e ngaahi fakakaukau lelei, ʻa ia ʻokú ne tataki kitautolu ke fai fakapotopotó. Ko e ngaahi fakakaukau mo e ʻulungaanga peheé ko e makatuʻunga ia ʻo e moʻui fakafāmili fiefiá.

ʻE hā ngali maeʻeeʻa ia, ka neongo ia ʻoku mahuʻinga ʻa e pehē ko ia ko e ʻulungaanga tefito ʻoku fiemaʻu ki ha fāmili pē kae hoko ʻo lavameʻá ko e ʻofá. Naʻe pehē ʻe he ʻapositolo ko Paulá: “Ke taʻeloi hoʻomou ʻofa. . . . ʻI hoʻomou ʻofa ki he kainga lotu, fai ʻo hange ko ha kainga moʻoni.” (Loma 12:​9, 10) Ko e foʻi lea “ʻofa” ʻoku ngāuehala lahi ʻaki ia, ka ko e ʻulungaanga ʻoku lave ki ai ʻa Paula hení ʻoku makehe ia. Ko e ʻofa fakaʻotua ia, pea ʻe “ʻikai ke kaʻanga.” (1 Kolinito 13:8) ʻOku fakamatalaʻi ia ʻe he Tohitapú ʻoku taʻesiokita pea mateuteu ke sevāniti. ʻOku ngāue longomoʻui ia maʻá e lelei ʻa e niʻihi kehé. ʻOku kātaki ia mo anga-ʻofa, ʻikai ʻaupito meheka, ʻikai fai ke ongoongoa, pe fakafuofuolahi. ʻOku ʻikai te ne kumi ki he lelei pē ʻaʻaná. ʻOku mateuteu maʻu pē ia ke fakaʻatuʻi, ke falala, ke ʻamanaki, ke kātekina ha meʻa pē ʻe hoko.​—1 Kolinito 13:​4-7.

ʻOku tokoni ʻa e ʻofa moʻoní ke ne fakaleleiʻi ʻa e ngaahi faikehekehé pea fakafāʻūtahaʻi ʻa e kakai ʻoku mātuʻaki kehekehe ʻa hono ʻohake kinautolú pea mo honau ʻulungāngá. Pea ʻoku tokoni ia ke fakafepakiʻi ʻa e ngaahi nunuʻa fakamamahi ʻo ha vete mali pe ko ha mate ʻa ha mātuʻa totonu. Ko ha tangata ʻe taha naʻe hoko ko ha tamai-ua ʻokú ne fakamatalaʻi ʻene ngaahi palopalema moʻoní tonu: “Naʻá ku faʻa hohaʻa lahi fekauʻaki mo ʻeku ngaahi ongoʻí tonu ke sivisiviʻi ʻa e ngaahi ongo ʻa ʻeku fānau-uá pe naʻa mo hoku uaifí. Naʻe pau ke u ako ke ʻoua te u loko ongongofua. Ko e meʻa mahuʻinga tahá, naʻe pau ke u ako ke anga-fakatōkilalo.” Naʻe tokoniʻi ia ʻe he ʻofá ke fai ʻa e ngaahi liliu naʻe fiemaʻú.

Ko e Mātuʻa Totonú

ʻE lava ke tokoni ʻa e ʻofá ʻi hono fakaleleiʻi ʻa e vahaʻangatae ʻo e fānaú mo ʻenau mātuʻa totonu kuo puli atu he taimi ní. ʻOku fakahaaʻi ʻe ha tamai-ua: “Naʻá ku loto ke u maʻu ʻa e tuʻunga ʻuluaki ʻi he ʻofa ʻa ʻeku fānau-uá. ʻI heʻenau ʻaʻahi ki heʻenau tamai totonú, naʻá ku ʻiloʻi ʻa e faingataʻa ke talitekeʻi ʻa e fakatauele ke fakaangaʻi iá. ʻI heʻenau foki mai hili haʻanau maʻu ha ʻaho fakafiefia mo iá, naʻá ku ongoʻi kovi ʻaupito. ʻI he taimi naʻa nau maʻu ai ha ʻaho koví, naʻá ku fiefia lahi. Ko e moʻoni, naʻá ku manavasiʻi naʻa nau mole atu meiate au. Ko e taha ʻi he ngaahi meʻa mātuʻaki faingataʻa tahá ko hono ʻilo mo tali ʻa e mahuʻinga ʻo e ngafa ʻa e tamai totonú ʻi he moʻui ʻa ʻeku fānau-uá.”

Naʻe tokoniʻi ʻe he ʻofa moʻoní ʻa e tamai-ua ko ení ke fehangahangai mo e moʻoni ko ia ʻa e taʻefeʻunga ke ʻamanekina ʻa e ʻofa “hoko vavé.” Naʻe totonu ke ʻoua te ne ongoʻi ʻoku talitekeʻi ia ʻi he ʻikai tali vave ia ʻe he fānaú. Naʻá ke hoko ʻo ʻilo ʻe ʻikai ʻaupito nai ke ne fetongi fakaʻaufuli ʻe ia ʻa e tamai totonú mei he loto ʻo ʻene fānaú. Ne ʻiloʻi ʻe he fānaú ia ʻa e tangata ko ení mei honau muʻaki ngaahi ʻahó, lolotonga iá ko e tamai-uá ko ha tokotaha haʻu foʻou ia, ʻa ia kuo pau ke ngāue ia ke ne maʻu mai ʻa e ʻofa ʻa e fānaú. ʻOku fakahaaʻi ʻe he tokotaha fekumi ko Elizabeth Einstein ʻa e meʻa ʻoku hokosia ʻe he tokolahi ʻi heʻene pehē: “ʻE ʻikai ʻaupito lava ke fetongi ʻa e mātuʻa totonú​—ʻikai ʻaupito. Naʻa mo ha mātuʻa kuo mate pe ko ha taha kuó ne liʻaki ʻa e fānaú ʻoku kei ʻi ai pē ʻa hono kaunga mahuʻinga ʻona ʻi he moʻui ʻa e fānaú.”

Akonakí​—Ko ha Tuʻunga-Lea Fakatupu-Mamahingofua

ʻOku fakahaaʻi ʻe he Tohitapú ʻoku mātuʻaki fiemaʻu ʻa e akonaki anga-ʻofa ki he faʻahinga īkí, pea ʻoku kau ki ai ʻa e fānau-uá. (Palovepi 8:33) ʻOku kamata ke loto-tatau ʻa e kau palōfesinale ʻe niʻihi ki he tuʻunga ʻo e Tohitapú ʻi he meʻá ni. Naʻe pehē ʻe Palōfesa Ceres Alves de Araújo: “ʻI he fakanatulá ʻoku ʻikai saiʻia ha taha ʻi he ngaahi fakangatangatá, ka ʻoku fiemaʻu kinautolu. Ko e ‘ʻikaí’ ko ha foʻi lea maluʻi ia.”

Kae kehe, ʻi ha fāmili tuifio, ko e ngaahi vakai ki he akonakí ʻe lava ke iku ia ki ha ngaahi femotumotuhi. Kuo fakafuo ha konga ʻi he fānau-uá ʻe ha tokotaha lahi ʻa ia kuo puli ia he taimí ni. Ngalingali, ʻoku ʻi ai ʻenau ngaahi tōʻonga pe anga ʻe fakatupu ʻita nai ki he mātuʻa-uá. Pea ʻoku ʻikai nai mahino kiate kinautolu ʻa e ʻuhinga ʻoku ongoʻi mālohi ai ʻa e mātuʻa-uá fekauʻaki mo ha ngaahi meʻa pau. ʻE anga-fēfē ha fekuki lavameʻa mo e tuʻunga ko iá? ʻOku naʻinaʻi mai ʻa Paula ki he kau Kalisitiané: “Tuli ki he . . . ʻofa, ki he kataki, ki he angavaivai.” (1 Timote 6:11) ʻOku tokoni ʻa e ʻofa faka-Kalisitiané fakatouʻosi ki he mātuʻa-uá mo e fānaú ke nau anga-mokomoko mo kātaki ʻi heʻenau ako ke femahinoʻakí. Kapau ʻoku ʻikai kātaki ʻa e mātuʻa-uá, ko e ‘ʻitá, feʻiohoʻakí, mo e lauʻikoví’ ʻe lava ke ne maumauʻi vave ha vahaʻangatae pē kuo fakahoko.​—Efeso 4:​31.

Ko e fakamaama ki he meʻa ʻe tokoni ʻi he meʻá ni naʻe tokonaki mai ia ʻe he palōfita ko Maiká. Naʻá ne pehē: “Ko e ha ʻa e meʻa ʻoku ʻeke ʻe Sihova kiate koe? Ka ko e fai fakalao [“fakamaau totonu,” NW], mo e manako ki he mēsi, pea ke taka angavaivai ʻi hoʻo feangai mo ho ʻOtua.” (Maika 6:8) ʻOku mātuʻaki mahuʻinga ʻa e fakamaau totonú ʻi he taimi ʻoku fakahoko ai ʻa e akonakí. Kae fēfē ʻa e mēsí? ʻOku fakamatala ha tokotaha mātuʻa Kalisitiane ʻe taha naʻe faʻa faingataʻa ke fafangu ʻene fānau-uá ʻi he pongipongi Sāpaté ke nau kau ʻi he lotu ʻa e fakatahaʻangá. ʻI he ʻikai tafuluʻi kinautolú, naʻá ne ʻahiʻahi ʻa e mēsí. Naʻá ne tuʻu hake pongipongia, teuteuʻi ʻa e kai pongipongí, pea ʻoatu kiate kinautolu taki taha ha ipu vai mafana. Ko hono olá, naʻa nau hehema lahi ange ai ke tokanga ki heʻene kole ke nau tuʻu haké.

Naʻe fai ʻe Palōfesa Ana Luisa Vieira de Mattos ʻa e fakamatala mālie hono hokó: “ʻOku ʻikai ko e kalasi ʻo e fāmilí ʻoku mahuʻingá ka ko e anga ʻo e vahaʻangataé. ʻI heʻeku ngaahi akó kuó u sio ai ko e faʻahinga iiki ko ia ʻoku ʻi ai ʻenau ngaahi palopalema fakaeʻulungāngá ʻoku nau meimei haʻu maʻu pē mei he ngaahi fāmili ʻa ia ʻoku vaivai ai ʻa e tokangaʻi fakaemātuʻá, ʻikai ha ngaahi lao mo ha fetuʻutaki.” Naʻá ne toe pehē: “ʻOku totonu ke fakamamafaʻi lahi ʻoku fakahuʻunga ʻa e fiemaʻu ki he tauhi fānaú ʻa e lea ʻikai.” Tānaki atu ki ai, naʻe pehē ʻe he ongo toketā ko Emily mo John Visher: “ʻOku meimei, ngāue pē ʻa e akonakí ʻi he taimi ʻoku tokanga ai ʻa e tokotaha ʻokú ne maʻu ʻa e akonakí fekauʻaki mo e ngaahi fakafeangai pea mo hono vahaʻangatae mo e tokotaha ʻokú ne fai ʻa e akonakí.”

ʻOku kaunga ʻa e ngaahi fakamatalá ni ki he fehuʻi pe ko hai ʻi he ngaahi fāmili-uá ʻoku totonu ke ne fakahoko ʻa e akonakí. Ko hai ʻoku totonu ko e tokotaha ia ke lea ʻikaí? Hili e fetalanoaʻaki ki he ngaahi meʻá, kuo fili ʻa e ngaahi mātuʻa ia ʻe niʻihi, ʻi he kamatá, ʻoku totonu ko e mātuʻa totonú ko e faiakonaki tefitó ia koeʻuhi ke ʻoange ai ʻa e taimi ki he mātuʻa-uá ke ne langa hake ai ha vahaʻangatae vāofi ange mo e fānaú. Tuku ke ako ʻa e fānaú ke ongoʻi falala ki he ʻofa ʻa e mātuʻa-uá kiate kinautolú ki muʻa ke ne akonakiʻi kinautolu.

Fēfē kapau ko e mātuʻa-uá ʻa e tamaí? ʻIkai ʻoku pehē ʻe he Tohitapú ko e tamaí ʻa e ʻulu ʻo e fāmilí? ʻIo. (Efeso 5:​22, 23; 6:​1, 2) Kae kehe, ʻe fakaʻamu nai ʻa e tamai-uá ke tuku atu a e meʻa fekauʻaki mo e akonakí ʻi ha kiʻi vahaʻa taimi, tautefito kapau ʻoku kau ki ai ha tautea. Te ne fakaʻatā nai ʻa e fānaú ke nau talangofua ki he ‘ngaahi tala ʻenau faʻeé’ lolotonga ia ʻokú ne fakatoka ha makatuʻunga kiate kinautolu ke ‘fanongo ki he akonaki ʻenau tamai [foʻoú].’ (Palovepi 1:8; 6:20; 31:1) ʻOku hā ʻi he fakamoʻoní, ko hono fakamulitukú ʻoku ʻikai fepaki ʻa e meʻá ni ia mo e tefitoʻi moʻoni ʻo e tuʻunga-ʻulú. Tānaki atu ki aí, ʻoku pehē ʻe ha tamai-ua ʻe taha: “Naʻá ku manatuʻi ʻoku kau ki he akonakí ʻa e enginaki, fakatonutonu, mo e valoki. ʻI hono fai eni ʻi he founga totonu, anga-ʻofa, mo manavaʻofá pea poupouʻi ia ʻe he faʻifaʻitakiʻanga fakaemātuʻá, ʻoku faʻa ola lelei.”

Fiemaʻu ke Fetuʻutaki ʻa e Ongo Mātuʻá

ʻOku pehē ʻe he Palovepi 15:22: “ʻOku maumau fakakaukau ʻa e ʻikai fai ha alea.” ʻI ha fāmili-ua, ko e talanoa fekoekoeʻi anga-mokomoko, mo hangatonu ʻi he vahaʻa ʻo e ongo mātuʻá ʻoku mātuʻaki mahuʻinga. Naʻe pehē ʻe ha faʻu-kōlomu ʻi he nusipepa O Estado de S. Paulo: “ʻOku hehema maʻu pē ʻa e fānaú ke ʻahiʻahiʻi ʻa e ngaahi fakangatangata kuo fokotuʻu ʻe he ongo mātuʻá.” ʻE liunga ua nai ʻene moʻoní ʻi he ngaahi fāmili-uá. Ko ia ai, ʻoku fiemaʻu ʻa e ongo mātuʻá ke na felotoi ʻi he ngaahi meʻa kehekehe koeʻuhi ke sio ʻa e fānaú ʻokú na fāʻūtaha. Fēfē leva, kapau ʻoku fai ʻe ha mātuʻa-ua ia ha tōʻonga ʻi ha founga ʻoku ongoʻi ʻe he mātuʻa totonú ia ʻoku taʻetotonu? ʻOku totonu leva ki he ongo meʻá ke na fakaleleiʻi fakaekinaua pē ʻa e meʻá, kae ʻoua ʻe sio ki ai ʻa e fānaú.

ʻOku fakamatala ha faʻē ʻe taha naʻe toe mali: “Ko e meʻa faingataʻa taha ki ha faʻē ko e sio ʻoku akonakiʻi ʻe he tamai-uá ʻene fānaú, tautefito kapau ʻokú ne ongoʻi ʻokú ne fai fakavave ia pe ʻoku filifilimānako moʻoni. ʻOku mamahi ai hono lotó, pea ʻokú ne loto ke taukapoʻi ʻene fānaú. ʻI he ngaahi taimi peheé, ʻoku faingataʻa ke nofoʻaki anga-nofo ki hoto husepānití mo poupouʻi ia.

“ʻI he taimi ʻe taha, naʻe kole ai ʻe heʻeku ongo tamaiki tangatá, naʻá na taʻu 12 mo e 14, ki heʻena tamai-uá ha ngofua ke fai ha meʻa. Naʻá ne fakaʻikaiʻi vave pea mavahe leva mei he lokí taʻeʻoange ki he ongo tamaikí ha faingamālie ke na fakamatala ki he ʻuhinga naʻe mahuʻinga ai kiate kinaua ʻena kolé. Naʻe hangehangē ka tangi ʻa e ongo tamaikí, pea naʻe ʻikai te u toe lava ʻo lea. Naʻe sio mai kiate au ʻa e tamasiʻi lahí peá ne pehē mai: ‘Mami, naʻá ke sio mai ki he meʻa naʻá ne faí?’ Naʻá ku tali ange: ‘ʻIo, naʻá ku sio ki ai. Ka ʻokú ne kei ʻulu pē ʻi he fāmilí, pea ʻoku tala mai ʻe he Tohitapú kiate kitautolu ke fakaʻapaʻapa ki he tuʻunga-ʻulú.’ Ko e ongo tamaiki lelei kinaua pea naʻá na loto-lelei ki he meʻá ni, pea naʻá na kiʻi fakamokomoko hifo. ʻI he efiafi tatau pē, naʻá ku fakamatalaʻi ange ai ʻa e ngaahi meʻá ki hoku husepānití, pea naʻá ne ʻiloʻi naʻá ne fuʻu pule fefeka. Naʻá ne hangatonu ki he loki ʻo e ongo tamaikí ʻo kole fakamolemole.

“Naʻa mau ako e meʻa lahi mei he meʻa ko ia ne hokó. Naʻe ako hoku husepānití ke fanongo ki muʻa ke ne fai ʻa e ngaahi filí. Naʻá ku ako ke u poupou ki he tefitoʻi moʻoni ʻo e tuʻunga-ʻulú, neongo ʻa ʻene fakamamahí. Naʻe ako ʻa e ongo tamaikí ki he mahuʻinga ʻo e anga-nofó. (Kolose 3:​18, 19) Pea ko e kole fakamolemole loto-moʻoni ʻa hoku husepānití naʻá ne akoʻi kiate kimautolu kotoa ha lēsoni mahuʻinga ʻi he anga-fakatōkilaló. (Palovepi 29:23) ʻI he ʻahó ni, ko e ongo fohá fakatouʻosi ko ha ongo mātuʻa Kalisitiane.”

Ko e fehālaakí ia kuo pau ke hoko. ʻE leaʻaki pe fai ʻe he fānaú ʻa e ngaahi meʻa ʻoku fakamamahi. Ko e ngaahi mafasia ʻo e mōmeniti ko iá te ne taki ʻa e ngaahi mātuʻa-uá ke nau fai taʻefakaʻatuʻi. Kae kehe, ko e ngaahi foʻi lea faingofua, “ʻOku ou kole fakamolemole atu, kātaki ʻo fakamolemoleʻi ange aú,” ʻe lava ke ne fai e meʻa lahi ke faitoʻo ʻa e ngaahi loto-mamahí.

Fakaivimālohiʻi ʻa e Fāʻūtaha ʻa e Fāmilí

ʻOku fiemaʻu ʻa e taimi ke langa hake ai ha vahaʻangatae māfana ʻi ha fāmili-ua. Kapau ko ha mātuʻa-ua koe, ʻoku fiemaʻu ke ke fakahāhā ʻa e kaungāongoʻi. Maʻu ʻa e mahino, mateuteu ke vaheʻi ha taimi mo e fānaú. Vaʻinga mo e fānau iiki angé. Mateuteu ke talanoa mo e faʻahinga lalahi angé. Kumi ki ha ngaahi faingamālie ke feohi fakataha ai​—ko e fakatātaá, fakaafeʻi ʻa e fānaú ke nau tokoni ʻi he ngaahi ngāue fakaeʻapí, hangē ko e teuteuʻi ʻa e kai efiafí pe ko e fufulu ʻo e kaá. Fakaafeʻi ke nau ō mo koe ʻo tokoni ʻi hoʻo ʻalu ki he supamāketí. Tānaki atu ki ai, ko e fanga kiʻi fakaʻilonga iiki mo anga-ʻofá ʻi he ngaue ho sinó te nau fakahaaʻi nai ʻa e ʻofa ʻokú ke ongoʻí. (Ko e moʻoni, ʻoku totonu ke tokanga ʻa e ngaahi tamai-uá ke fai ha ngaahi fakangatangata totonu ki honau ngaahi ʻofefine-uá pea ʻoua ʻe ʻai ke nau ongoʻi taʻefiemālie. Pea ʻoku totonu ke manatuʻi ʻe he ngaahi faʻē-uá ʻoku ʻi ai foki mo e ngaahi fakangatangata ki he tamaiki tangatá.)

ʻE lava ke lavameʻa ʻa e ngaahi fāmili-uá. ʻOku tokolahi ia. Ko e lavameʻa tahá ko e ngaahi fāmili ko ia ʻoku kau ki ai ʻa e tokotaha kotoa, tautefito ki he ngaahi mātuʻá, ʻi hono fakatupulekina ʻa e ngaahi fakakaukau totonú mo e ngaahi ʻamanaki moʻoní. Naʻe tohi ʻa e ʻapositolo ko Sioné: “Siʻi ʻofaʻanga, ke tau feʻofaʻaki muʻa: he ko ʻofa ko e tupu mei he ʻOtua ia.” (1 Sione 4:7) ʻIo, ko e ʻofa loto-moʻoní ko e fakapulipuli moʻoni ia ki ha fāmili-ua fiefia.

[Fakatātā ʻi he peesi 7]

NGAAHI FĀMILI-UA FIEFIA

vaheʻi ʻa e taimi fakataha . . .

ako fakataha ʻa e Folofola ʻa e ʻOtuá . . . 

talanoa fakataha . . .

ngāue fakataha . . .