TOKONI KI HE FĀMILÍ | ʻOHAKE ʻA E FĀNAÚ
Talanoa ki he Fānaú Fekauʻaki mo e Lau-Lanú
ʻI he kei siʻi hoʻo kiʻi tamá, te ne fakatokangaʻi nai hono ngāueʻaki ʻe he kakai ʻe niʻihi ʻa e lanu ʻo e kilí pe fonuá ko ha ʻuhinga ia ke fakafeangai ai ki he niʻihi kehé ʻi ha founga kehe. ʻE lava fēfē ke ke tokoniʻi hoʻo kiʻi tamá ke fakaʻehiʻehi mei hono tākiekina ʻe he tomuʻa fehiʻa fakamatakali ʻa e niʻihi kehé? Ko e hā ʻe lava ke ke faí kapau ʻoku maʻukovia hoʻo kiʻi tamá ʻi ha tomuʻa fehiʻa fakamatakali?
ʻI he kupu ko ení
Founga ke talanoa ai ki he fānaú fekauʻaki mo e matakalí
Meʻa ʻe lava ke ke fakamatalaʻí. ʻOku ʻi ai ʻa e faikehekehe fakaofo ʻi he fōtunga mo e ʻulungaanga fakafonua ʻo e faʻahinga ʻo e tangatá ʻi he kotoa ʻo e māmaní. Ko e kehekehe ko ení ʻoku taki atu ai ʻa e kakai ʻe niʻihi ke fakafeangai ʻikai lelei ki he niʻihi kehé ʻo makatuʻunga ʻi he anga honau fōtungá pe meʻa ʻoku nau fakahokó.
Kae kehe, ʻoku akoʻi ʻi he Tohi Tapú ko e faʻahinga kotoa ʻo e tangatá ʻoku tatau honau tupuʻangá. ʻI hono fakalea ʻe tahá, ʻoku tau fekaukauʻaki kotoa pē.
“[Ko e ʻOtuá] naʻá ne ngaohi mei he tangata pē taha ʻa e puleʻanga kotoa pē ʻo e tangatá.”—Ngāue 17:26.
“ʻOkú ma fakatokangaʻi ko e taimi ʻoku feohi ai ʻema fānaú mo e kakai mei he matakali mo e puipuituʻa kehekehe, ʻoku lava ke nau sio tonu ai ki he totonu mo e taau ki he tokotaha taki taha ke ne maʻu ʻetau ʻofá mo e tokaʻí.”—Karen.
Founga ke fakamatalaʻi ai ki he fānaú ʻa e lau-lanú
ʻI ha taimi vavé ni mai pe ko ʻamui ange, ʻe fanongo hoʻo kiʻi tamá ki ha ngaahi talanoa ʻi he ongoongó fekauʻaki mo e tāufehiʻá pe ngaahi meʻa kehe ʻoku hoko ʻi he tomuʻa fehiʻa fakamatakalí. ʻE lava fēfē ke ke fakamatalaʻi ʻa e meʻa ʻoku hokó? ʻOku makatuʻunga ʻa e konga lahi ʻi he taʻumotuʻa hoʻo kiʻi tamá.
Taʻu 3-5. “Ko e fānau īkí ʻoku nau mātuʻaki ʻiloʻi lelei ʻa e meʻa ʻoku totonú mo e meʻa ʻoku ʻikai ke totonú. Ko ha makatuʻunga mālohi ia ke fetalanoaʻaki ai mo kinautolu ki he fakamaau taʻetotonú,” ko e lau ia ʻa Dr. Allison Briscoe-Smith ʻi he makasini Parents.
“ʻOku ʻikai ke filifilimānako ʻa e ʻOtuá, ka ʻi he puleʻanga kotoa pē, ko e tangata ko ia ʻoku manavahē kiate ia mo fai ʻa e meʻa ʻoku totonú, ʻokú ne tali ia.”—Ngāue 10:34, 35.
Taʻu 6-12. Ko e fānau ʻi he vahaʻa ʻo e taʻu 6 ki he 12 ʻoku nau fieʻilo pea ʻi he taimi e niʻihi ʻoku nau faʻa ʻeke ʻa e ngaahi fehuʻi faingataʻa. Tali ʻa e ngaahi fehuʻi ko iá ʻi he lelei taha te ke ala lavá. Talanoa ki hoʻo fānaú fekauʻaki mo e ngaahi meʻa ʻoku nau sio ki ai ʻi he ʻapiakó mo ia ʻi he ʻinitanetí, pea ngāueʻaki ʻa e ngaahi fetalanoaʻaki ko iá ko ha faingamālie ke fakamatalaʻi ʻoku hala ʻa e tomuʻa fehiʻa fakamatakalí.
“Ke mou fakakaukau uouongataha, kaungāongoʻi, ʻofa fakatokoua, manavaʻofa pea anga-fakatōkilalo.”—1 Pita 3:8.
Taʻu 13-19. Ko e toʻutupú ʻoku nau ʻi he vahaʻa taimi ʻi he moʻuí ʻoku malava ke nau mahinoʻi ʻa e ngaahi ʻīsiu ʻoku faingataʻa angé. Ko ia ko e taimi taʻu hongofulu tupú ko ha faingamālie ia kiate koe mo kinautolu ke fetalanoaʻaki ki he ngaahi ongoongo fekauʻaki mo e tomuʻa fehiʻa fakamatakalí.
Ko e “kakai matuʻotuʻá . . . fakafou ʻi heʻenau ngāueʻaki ʻenau ngaahi mafai ʻiloʻiló kuo nau ako ai ke fakafaikehekeheʻi ʻa e tonú mo e halá.”—Hepelū 5:14.
“ʻOkú ma talanoa ki heʻema fānaú fekauʻaki mo e lau-lanú koeʻuhí ko ha meʻa ia te nau fetaulaki mo ia ʻi ha taimi, ʻo tatau ai pē pe ko fē ʻa e fonua te nau nofo aí. Kapau heʻikai ke nau fanongo ki he kaveinga ko ení ʻi ʻapi, ʻe kamata leva ke nau ohi mai ʻa e ngaahi fakakaukau ʻa e niʻihi kehé fekauʻaki mo e lau-lanú. ʻOku lahi ʻa e ngaahi fakamatala hala ʻe lava ke ʻoatu ki heʻetau fānaú ko ha ngaahi moʻoniʻi meʻa.”—Tanya.
Founga ke fokotuʻu ai ha faʻifaʻitakiʻanga
ʻOku ako ʻa e fānaú mei he faʻifaʻitakiʻangá, ko ia ai ʻoku mahuʻinga kiate koe ʻi he tuʻunga ko ha mātuʻa, ke ke tokanga ki hoʻo leá mo e ngāue ʻokú ke fakahokó. Ko e fakatātaá:
ʻOkú ke fakakataʻaki ʻa e faʻahinga mei he ngaahi matakali kehé pe manukiʻi kinautolu? “ʻOku sio mo fanongo hoʻo fānaú kiate koe pea ʻoku fakanatula pē ke nau faʻifaʻitaki ki hoʻo ngaahi ʻulungāngá,” ko e lau ia ʻa e American Academy of Child mo e Adolescent Psychiatry.
ʻOkú ke fiefia ʻi he feohi mo e faʻahinga mei he feituʻu kehekehe ʻi he māmaní? ʻOku pehē ʻe Pediatrician Alanna Nzoma: “Kapau ʻokú ke loto ke maʻu ʻe hoʻo fānaú . . . ha vahaʻangatae [lelei] mo e kakai mei he ngaahi puipuituʻa kehekehe, ʻoku totonu ke nau sio kiate koe ʻokú ke fakahoko ʻa e meʻa ko iá.”
“Fakaʻapaʻapa ki he faʻahinga kotoa pē ʻo e tangatá.”—1 Pita 2:17.
“ʻI he faai mai ʻa e ngaahi taʻú, naʻe talitali ʻe homau fāmilí ʻa e kau fakaafe mei he ngaahi feituʻu kehekehe ʻi he māmaní. Naʻa mau ako ai fekauʻaki mo ʻenau meʻakaí mo e hivá pea naʻa mo hono tui honau ngaahi teunga fakafonuá. ʻOkú ma talanoa ki heʻema fānaú fekauʻaki mo e kakaí, kae ʻikai fekauʻaki mo e matakali ʻoku nau kau ki aí. Pea ʻokú ma fakaʻehiʻehi mei he pōlepoleʻaki homau anga fakafonuá tonu.”—Katarina.
Kapau ʻoku maʻukovia hoʻo kiʻi tamá ʻi ha tomuʻa fehiʻa fakamatakali
Neongo ʻa e lahi e fakamatala fekauʻaki mo e vahevahe tataú, ko e lau-lanú ʻoku ʻalu ke toe fakautuutu ange. ʻOku ʻuhinga ení ko hoʻo kiʻi tamá ʻe kau nai mo ia ʻi hono ngaohikoviá, tautefito kapau ʻokú ne kau ki ha kiʻi kulupu. Kapau ʻe hoko ʻa e meʻá ni . . .
Maʻu ʻa e ngaahi moʻoniʻi meʻá. Naʻe fakataumuʻa pē ʻa e tokotaha faihalá ia ke anga-fakamamahi, pe naʻe ʻikai pē ke fakakaukau lelei ia ki he meʻa naʻá ne faí? (Sēmisi 3:2) ʻOku fiemaʻu ki he tokotaha faihalá ke ne fai ha fakamatala fekauʻaki mo e meʻa naʻá ne fakahokó pe ʻoku lava pē ke tukunoaʻi?
ʻOku hā mahino, ʻoku fiemaʻu ʻa e mafamafatatau. ʻOku ʻomai ʻi he Tohi Tapú ʻa e faleʻi fakapotopoto: “ʻOua ʻe vave ki he ʻitá.” (Tangata Malanga 7:9) Ko e lau-lanú ʻoku ʻikai ko ha meʻa ia ke fakamaʻamaʻaʻi, ka ʻoku ʻikai ke ʻuhinga pē hono ngaohikoviʻi pe fakafeangai taʻetotonu atu ha taha kiate koe, ke ke pehē ai ʻokú ne fehiʻa ʻi he matakali ʻokú ke kau ki aí.
Ko e moʻoni, ʻoku kehekehe pē ʻa e tuʻunga taki taha, ko ia feinga ke ʻiloʻi ʻa e meʻa totonu ʻoku hokó ki muʻa peá ke fai ha fili.
“ʻI hono fai ʻe ha taha ha tali ki ha meʻa ki muʻa ke ne fanongo ki he ngaahi moʻoniʻi meʻá, ko e vale ia mo e meʻa fakamā.”—Palōveepi 18:13.
Hili hono maʻu ʻa e ngaahi moʻoniʻi meʻá, ʻeke hifo kiate koe:
‘ʻE maʻu ʻaonga ʻeku kiʻi tamá kapau ʻe fakakaukau ʻo pehē ʻoku tomuʻa fehiʻa ʻa e tokotaha kotoa, pea ongoʻi ʻoku ngaohikoviʻi ia ʻi he taimi kotoa pē ʻoku fakafeangai taʻetotonu ange ai ha taha?’
‘ʻE maʻu ʻaonga ʻeku kiʻi tamá mei he muimui ki he faleʻi ʻi he Tohi Tapú: “ʻOua naʻá ke tokanga ki he lea kotoa pē ʻoku leaʻaki ʻe he kakaí”?’—Tangata Malanga 7:21.
“Ko e tokotaha kotoa pē kuo pau ke ne . . . fakatuotuai ki he lea, fakatuotuai ki he ʻita.”—Sēmisi 1:19.
Fēfē kapau naʻe fakataumuʻa pē ʻa e tokotaha faihalá ia ke fai pehē? Tokoniʻi hoʻo kiʻi tamá ke ne ʻiloʻi, ʻe makatuʻunga ʻa e ʻi he tuʻunga lelei pe kovi ange ʻa e ngaahi meʻá mei he founga ʻene tali ki aí. ʻI he taimi ʻe niʻihi, ko ha tokotaha ʻokú ne lumaʻi, fakamamahiʻi pe ngaohikoviʻi ha tokotaha, ʻokú ne fai iá ke vakai pē ʻe fēfē ʻa e fakafeangai ange ʻa e tokotahá. ʻI he ngaahi tuʻunga peheé, ko e founga lelei taha ke fai ʻaki ha talí ko e ʻoua ʻe fai ha tali ki ai.
“ʻI he ʻikai ha fefié, ʻoku mate ʻa e afí.”—Palōveepi 26:20.
ʻI he tafaʻaki ʻe tahá, kapau ʻoku lelei pē ke fai ʻe hoʻo kiʻi tamá ha tali, ʻe malava nai ke ne talanoa ki he tokotaha faihalá. Mahalo ʻe lava ke ne pehē ange (ʻi ha founga melino), “Ko u pehē ko e meʻa naʻá ke leaʻakí (pe faí) ʻoku ʻikai ke sai.”
Fēfē kapau ʻokú ke loto ke līpooti ʻa e meʻa ʻoku hokó? Kapau ko e tuʻunga malu hoʻo kiʻi tamá ʻoku ʻi ha tuʻunga fakatuʻutāmaki pe ʻi ha ʻuhinga ʻokú ke ongoʻi ʻoku ʻikai totonu ke tukunoaʻi ʻa e tuʻungá, ʻoua ʻe toumoua ke talanoa ki he kau faiakó pe naʻa mo e kau polisí kapau ʻe fiemaʻu.