Unobangela Oyintloko Wempikiswano

UMFAZI ufuna ukukhupha iimvakalelo zakhe. Indoda ifuna ukunikela isicombululo. Izigidi zeempikiswano emtshatweni ukuza kuthi ga ngoku zisenokuba bezibangelwa zizinto ezahlukeneyo, kodwa ngokufuthi bekukho ukwahluka kwimibandela embalwa esisiseko. Ukuqonda imbono eyahlukileyo yeqabane lakho okanye indlela yokunxibelelana kusenokunceda ekunciphiseni le mililo idwanguzelayo yehlathi ekubeni ibe ngamalahle avuthayo kwiziko lekhaya elinolonwabo.

“Musa Ukulawula Ubomi Bam!”

Amadoda amaninzi asenokuzifumana evaleleke nxa zonke ngamacebiso, zizicelo nokugxekwa ngenxa yobuntamo-lukhuni bomfazi ophetheyo nokhalazayo. IBhayibhile iyazivuma iimvakalelo ezinjalo, isithi: “Luqhoqhozo oluxikileyo ingxabano yomfazi.” (IMizekeliso 19:13) Umfazi usenokwenza isicelo indoda yakhe engasamkeliyo kodwa ingamxeleli ukuba ayisamkeli ngezizathu ezingaziwayo ngumfazi. Ecinga ukuba ayivanga, ngoku uyixelela oko imele ikwenze. Intliziyo yayo iya isiba lukhuni. Ngaba ngumfazi okhalazayo nendoda ethiwe nqo ngempumlo? Okanye ngaba ngabantu ababini abangakhange banxibelelane ngokucacileyo?

Ngokwembono yomfazi, elona xesha alubonakalisa ngalo uthando ngendoda yakhe kuxa eyinika icebiso eliluncedo. Kwimbono yendoda yakhe, uyayilawula yaye ubonisa ukuba ayifaneleki. Kuye ukuthi, “Ungayilibali ibrifkheyisi yakho” ngamazwi abonisa inkathalo, eqinisekisa ukuba konke ekufunayo ikuphethe. Kuyikhumbuza unina ekhwaza emi emnyango esithi, “Uyithabathile na ijezi yakho?”

Umfazi odiniweyo usenokuthi ngobubele, “Ngaba ufuna ukutya kwivenkile yokutyela ngokuhlwa nje?” eneneni ethetha ukuba, “Ngaba akunakundisa kwivenkile yokutyela? Ndidinwe gqitha ukuba ndingapheka.” Kodwa indoda yakhe ezinikeleyo isenokusebenzisa elo thuba ukuze income indlela apheka ngayo ize ime ngelokuba ikhetha ukutya okuphekwe nguye kunako nakuphi okunye. Okanye isenokuvakalelwa ngale ndlela, ‘Uzama ukundilawula!’ Ngelo xesha, ngokucaphuka umfazi usenokuzixelela oku, ‘Kutheni ndifanele ndicele?’

“Akundithandi!”

Indoda edidekileyo nenxungupheleyo idanduluka isithi, “Unokuyicinga njani into enjalo? Ndiyasebenza, ndihlawula onke amatyala, ndide ndimphathele neentyatyambo ngamanye amaxesha!”

Ngoxa bonke abantu befuna ukuziva bethandwa, umfazi ukufuna ngokukhethekileyo ukuqinisekiswa ngokuphindaphindiweyo ngoku. Usenokungakuthethi oko, kodwa ngaphakathi usenokuziva engumthwalo ongafunwayo, ngokukodwa ukuba umjikelo wakhe wenyanga nganye wokuba sexesheni umenza adandatheke okwexeshana. Ngamaxesha anjalo indoda yakhe isenokubuya umva, icinga ukuba ufuna ixesha lokuba yedwa. Usenokukutolika ukuchasela kwayo njengesiqinisekiso solona loyiko lwakhe—ayisamthandi. Usenokuthetha nayo ngomsindo, efuna ukuyinyanzelela ekubeni imthande ize imxhase.

“Ukhathazwe Yintoni, Sithandwa?”

Indlela indoda eyicombulula ngayo ingxaki exinezelayo isenokuba kukufuna indawo ethe cwaka ukuze icinge ngendlela yokuyicombulula. Ngokwemvelo umfazi usenokuxhalaba aze asabele ngokuzama ukuyikhuthaza ukuba ithethe. Nokuba inenjongo entle kangakanani na le migudu, indoda isenokuyifumanisa iyeyokuzenza ugqadambekweni yaye iyithoba. Njengokuba irhoxa ukuze iqwalasele le ngxaki, ithi krwaqu ngapha kwegxalaba layo ize ibone umfazi wayo othembekileyo eyilandela. Iyaliva elo lizwi lizingisileyo linothando lisithi: “Sithandwa, kwenzeke ntoni? Ukhathazwe yintoni? Masithethe ngayo.”

Ukuba ayimphenduli, umfazi usenokuba buhlungu. Xa enengxaki, ufuna ukuyithetha nayo. Kodwa indoda ayithandayo ayifuni ukuthetha naye ngeemvakalelo zayo. Usenokugqiba kwelithi, “Imele ukuba ayisandithandi.” Ngoko xa indoda emsulwa ekugqibeleni ibuyile kwilizwe leengcinga, yanelisekile sisicombululo esifumeneyo, kwakhona ifumana, kungekhona iqabane elinothando elixhalabileyo eye yalikhuphela ngaphandle emcimbini, kodwa ifumana umfazi ovethe iqaqa olungele ukuyicel’ umngeni ngokungambandakanyi.

“Akuze Undiphulaphule!”

Esi sityholo sibonakala sihlekisa. Endodeni kubonakala ukuba owona msebenzi wayo kukuphulaphula. Kodwa njengokuba umfazi wayo ethetha, unemvakalelo eyahlukileyo yokuba amazwi akhe ajongwa aze ahlolwe yikhompyutha ecombulula isibalo semathematika. Isikrokro sakhe singqineka sinjalo xa, kanye phakathi kwisivakalisi, isithi: “Ke, kutheni ungasuki u . . . ?”

Xa umfazi esiza nengxaki kwindoda yakhe, ngokufuthi akabeki tyala kuyo engafuni nesicombululo kuyo. Okona akufunayo yindlebe enovelwano eya kuphulaphula, kungekuphela nje izibakala njengezifileyo, kodwa eya kuphulaphala indlela avakalelwa ngayo. Ngoko ke akafuni cebiso, kodwa ufuna ukuqiniseka ukuba zisengqiqweni kangakanani na iimvakalelo zakhe. Kungenxa yoko indoda enenjongo ezintle iqhwaye ingxabano ngokuthetha oku kuphela: “Sithandwa sentliziyo yam, akufanelanga uvakalelwe ngaloo ndlela. Yinto nje engenamsebenzi.”

Amaxesha amaninzi, abantu balindela ukuba amaqabane abo akwazi oko bakucingayo. Enye indoda yathi: “Sineminyaka engama-25 sitshatile. Ukuba ukuza kuthi ga ngoku akakayazi into endiyifunayo, umele ukuba akanankathalo okanye akanikel’ ingqalelo.” Omnye umbhali kwincwadi yakhe engolwalamano lomtshato uthi: “Xa amaqabane engaxelelani oko akufunayo aze ngokuthe rhoqo agxekane ngokungasebenzisi ithuba lesenzo esifanelekileyo, akumangalisi ukuba umoya wothando nokusebenzisana uphel’ emehlweni. Kwindawo yako kuza . . . usukuzwano, apho qabane ngalinye lizama ukunyanzelela elinye ukuba lihlangabezane neentswelo zalo.”

“Akukhathali Gqitha!”

Umfazi usenokungakuthethi ngokungqalileyo oko kwindoda yakhe, kodwa unokukubonisa nje ngokucacileyo ngemvakalo-zwi. Ukuthi, “Kutheni ufika ebusuku kangaka?” kusenokubonakala ikukufunwa kwenkcazelo. Noko ke, mhlawumbi indlela ayijonga ngayo ibonisa ukuyityhola nokubeka kwakhe izandla esinqeni kuxelela indoda yakhe oku: “Wena nkwenkwanandini ingakhathaliyo, ubundibeke exhaleni. Kutheni unganditsalelanga umnxeba? Akunalwazelelelo gqitha! Jonga ngoku isidlo sangokuhlwa sonakele!”

Kakade ke, unyanisile ngesidlo sangokuhlwa. Kodwa ukuba kuvela impikiswano, ngaba ulwalamano lwabo nalo lusengozini? UGqr. John Gray uthi: “Iimpikiswano ezininzi zibakho kungengenxa yokuba abantu ababini abavumelani, kodwa ngenxa yokuba indoda ivakalelwa kukuba umfazi akayamkeli imbono yayo okanye umfazi akayamkeli indlela ethetha ngayo.”

Abanye baxhasa ingcamango yokuba ekhaya ubani ufanele azive ekhululekile ukuthetha nantoni ayifunayo engazibambi. Kodwa umntu okwaziyo kakuhle ukunxibelelana ufuna ukwenza kubekho imvisiswano noxolo, ecinga ngeemvakalelo zomphulaphuli. Sisenokuthelekisa intetho enjalo nokunika iqabane lakho iglasi yamanzi abanda ceke ngokwahlukileyo kunokulichithela ngawo ebusweni. Sisenokuthi umahluko ukwindlela amazwi athethwa ngayo.

Ukusebenzisa amazwi akweyabaseKolose 3:12-14 kuya kuphelisa iimpikiswano kuze kukhokelele kwikhaya elinolonwabo: “Yambathani . . . iimfesane zeemfefe, ububele, ukuthobeka kwentliziyo, ubulali, ukuzeka kade umsindo, ninyamezelana, nixolelana, ukuba ubani uthi abe nokusola ngakubani; njengokuba naye uKristu wanixolelayo, yenjani njalo nani. Ke, phezu kwazo zonke ezo zinto, yalekani uthando, oluyintambo yogqibelelo.”

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 25]

Indoda ikhusela izibakala, umfazi ukhusela iimvakalelo