Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .

Ndingaboyisa Njani Ubulolo Bam?

NGABA uyakhathazeka xa uqalisa ukuba nomkhuhlane? Kusenokwenzeka ukuba akukhathazeki. Uyayazi into yokuba uza kuphila. Kodwa kuthekani ukuba umkhuhlane onawo uyazingisa? Ngoko usenokuba unokuthile okungaphezulu kunomkhuhlane oza kuphinda uphele kwakamsinya, ibe wenza kakuhle ngokuba nenkxalabo.

Kukwanjalo xa uziva ulilolo. Kumaxesha amaninzi ukuhlaselwa bubulolo kuyinto edlulayo.a Kodwa maxa wambi intlungu ekrekrethayo yokuba lilolo iyazingisa. Kubonakala kungekho ndlela mbini.

URonny, ongumfundi kwisikolo semfundo ephakamileyo, uyabalisa: “Bendifunda kwisikolo esikwesi sithili kangangeminyaka esibhozo, kodwa ngalo lonke elo xesha andizange ndikwazi ukuba naye nomhlobo omnye! . . . Akukho bani uyaziyo indlela endivakalelwa ngayo ibe kungekho nomntu okhathalayo. Maxa wambi ndiye ndicinge ukuba andinako tu ukuyinyamezela le nto!”​—⁠Preparing for Adolescence.

NjengoRonny, abaninzi abakwishumi elivisayo baye baba noko ngokufuthi kubizwa ngokuba bubulolo obungapheliyo. Mhlawumbi nawe uyayiva le ntlungu yokuzibona ungento yanto. Ukuba kunjalo, musa ukuphelelwa lithemba. Kuyinyaniso ukuba, ubulolo obungapheliyo abuyongxaki iqhelekileyo. Buyinto enzulu ngakumbi kunobulolo bokwexeshana. Enyanisweni, abaphengululi bathi, ezi zinto zombini “zahluke njengomkhuhlane oqhelekileyo nokudumba kwemiphunga.” Kodwa kanye njengokuba ukudumba kwemiphunga kunokunyangwa, ubulolo obungapheliyo nabo bunokoyiswa. Kodwa njani?

Enoba uziva ulilolo ngezihlandlo ezithile okanye oku kusisinama-ndokunamathela, inyathelo lokuqala lokufumana unyango kukuqonda unobangela wako. UKumkani uSolomon wamandulo waphawula oku: ‘Oqondayo uzuza amacebo obulumko.’​—⁠IMizekeliso 1:⁠5.

URhonda oneminyaka elishumi elinesithandathu ubudala ubalaselisa oyena nobangela uqhelekileyo wobulolo obungapheliyo esithi: “Ndicinga ukuba isizathu sokuba ndizive ndililolo kakhulu sesokuba​—⁠kaloku akunakuba nabo abahlobo ukuba uziva uyinto eludwayi. Ibe ndicinga ukuba andizixabisanga kangako.”​—⁠Lonely in America.

Ubulolo bukaRhonda bubangelwa nguye. Ukuzijongela kwakhe phantsi kwenza kwaba ngumqobo ekubeni ngokhululekileyo nowenza abahlobo. Ngaba uneemvakalelo ezinjengezakhe? Omnye umphengululi uthi: “Iingcinga ezinjengethi ‘Andinamtsalane,’ ‘Andibangeli mdla,’ ‘Andinto yanto,’ ziqhelekile phakathi kwabantu abanobulolo obungapheliyo.”

Kweliny’ icala, ukuzijongela phantsi, kusenokuphumela ekubeni ube noloyiko lokungamkelwa. USteven ukhumbula oku: “Ndandifuna ukuthetha ngeemvakalelo zam zokuba lilolo, kodwa andizange nje ndibe namazwi okukuchaza oku. Ndandisoyika ukuba abantu babeza kundihleka okanye bangakuthabathi nzulu endikuthethayo. Kwakunzima nje ukuba ndiphalaze imbilini yam.” Ngaloo ndlela, bambi abakwishumi elivisayo bayazithulela, baze bakrekrethwe ngumvandedwa. Kunokoyiswa njani oku?

Zixabise

Isikhokelo sokoyisa ubulolo sikukuzixabisa. Umpostile uPawulos wabhala: “Kuba ngalo ubabalo endababalwa ngalo, ndithi kubo bonke abaphakathi kwenu, mabangazicingeli ngaphezu koko bamelwe kukuzicingela ngako.” (Roma 12:⁠3; thelekisa uMateyu 19:​19.) Oku kubonisa ukuba umlinganiselo wokuzixabisa uyimfuneko. Ngoko ke, iBhayibhile iluleka nxamnye nokuzicingela kungekuphela ngokungaphezulu gqitha kodwa kwanokuzicingela ngokuphantsi gqitha.

Ngapha koko, uYehova wajizeka umntu ngeempawu ezingokobuthixo. (Genesis 1:​26) Ngoko ukusa kumlinganiselo othile unazo ezo mpawu zinomtsalane. Ngaba uthobekile, ululamile, uyafundiseka? Okanye ngaba unesisa, unolwazelelelo, unobubele? Musa ukuzenza ongaziboniyo ezo ziphiwo ziligugu. Mhlawumbi usekwanokuvelisa obunye ubuchule neziphiwo ezisebenzisekayo. Kuyinyaniso ukuba, kusenokubakho ezinye izinto ongazithandiyo kuwe, ngokomzekelo indlela okhangeleka ngayo. Kodwa kutheni uzikhathaza ngento ongenakuyiguqula? Kunoko, sebenzela kwiimpawu ezingathandekiyo onokuziguqula, ezinjengokungabi namonde, isimo sengqondo esibi, okanye ukuzingca. Thabatha ixesha lakho ukuvelisa oko iBhayibhile ikubiza ngokuba ‘bubuntu obutsha,’ obuluphawu lobubele, ukuthobeka nobulali. (Kolose 3:​9-12) Uya kutsho uzixabise ngokungakumbi!

Ngaphezu koko, njengoko ufunda ukuzixabisa, abanye baya kutsaleleka kwiimpawu zakho ezithandekayo. Kodwa kanye njengokuba unokubona kuphela imibala epheleleyo yentyatyambo emva kokuba idubule, ngoko abanye banokuzixabisa iimpawu zakho ngokupheleleyo kuphela ukuba uyazibhenca kubo. ‘Kodwa ndingakwenza njani oko?’ usenokubuza.

‘Zenze Banzi’ Kwabanye

Impapasho yakutshanje yeZiko laseUnited States Lesizwe Lokunyanga Izifo Zengqondo ithi, ‘Icebiso elilelona lilungileyo kumntu olilolo, likukuzinxulumanisa nabanye abantu.’ Eli cebiso livisisana nesiluleko seBhayibhile ‘sokuzenza banzi’ nokubonakalisa ‘uvelwano.’ (2 Korinte 6:​11-13; 1 Petros 3:⁠8) Liyasebenza. Kolunye uhlolisiso, olwapapashwa kulindixesha iAdolescence, kwatyhilwa ukuba ‘abakwishumi elivisayo ababonakalisa inkxalabo ngentlalontle yabanye abangomalolo njengabakwishumi elivisayo abangenjinjalo.’ Kutheni? Ukunyamekela abanye akwenzi nje ukuba ingqondo yakho ingacingi ngobulolo onabo kodwa kushukumisela abanye ukuba babe nomdla kuwe. Ngokufuthi abantu basabela ngokubonakalisa ububele kuwe. (IMizekeliso 11:​25) Ngoko, unokuqalisa njani?

Indlela Yokoyisa Ubunzima Bokuqalisa Incoko

UNatalie oneminyaka elishumi elinesithoba ubudala wayegqibe kwelokuba wayengayi kwenza into engaphezu kokuba ahlale aze alindele abantu ukuba bambulise. Uthi, ‘Kufuneka nam ndibe nobuhlobo. Kungenjalo abantu baya kucinga ukuba ndiyazithanda.’ Ngoko qalisa ngoncumo. Omnye umntu usenokukuncumela naye.

Inyathelo elilandelayo, lokuqalisa incoko lilelinzima ngakumbi. ULillian, oneminyaka eli-15 ubudala, uyavuma ukuba: “Ukuya ebantwini endingabaziyo okwesihlandlo sokuqala ngokwenene kwakusoyikeka. Ndandisoyikela ukuba babengayi kundamkela.” Uyiqalisa njani incoko uLillian? Uthi, “Ndibuza imibuzo elula, enjengokuthi, ‘Usuka phi?’ ‘Uyamazi uzipeqengeshe?’ Sobabini sisenokuba siyamazi loo mntu, ibe kungekudala siyancokola.” Ukubaliselana amava kusenokunceda ekupheliseni ubunzima obubakho ekuqaliseni incoko. UAnne oneminyaka elishumi elinesibhozo ubudala walek’ umsundulo esenjenje: “Incoko andiyiqalisi ngokuthetha ngento ethile enzulu ngenxa yokuba omnye umntu uba neentloni okanye oyike ibe uya kundiphepha.” Ewe, akubobulumko ukumbonzeleka kwincoko enzulu ngoko nangoko.

Ngoko, kuthekani ukuba ngamathub’ athile awukwazi nje omawukuthethe? Kaloku, kusoloko kukho izinto onokuzenza. IBhayibhile ithetha ngebhinqa elalibizwa ngokuba nguDorkas lowo “wayezele yimisebenzi elungileyo, nasisisa abenaso” kubahlolokazi ababeswele. Xa wafayo, abahlolokazi bamlilela bebuhlungu. (IZenzo 9:​36-39) Imisebenzi kaDorkas yobubele yamenza wathandeka kubo. Imisebenzi yobubele nomoya wokuba nesisa ngokukwanjalo ziya kukunceda ukuba wakhe ubuhlobo obuxabisekileyo.

Kodwa yiba ngumntu wokwenene. Funda ukuyamkela into yokuba bambi abantu abayi kusabela kuncumo nakumbuliso wakho wobuhlobo. Kwimeko enjalo, ngabo abanengxaki​—⁠asinguwe.

Ukoyisa Imiqobo

Sekunjalo, inkoliso yabakwishumi elivisayo ithwaxwa bubulolo ngamaxesha athile. Khumbula ukuba kusenokuba bubulolo bokwexeshana ibe kunokubangelwa ziimeko ezingaphaya kwamandla akho. Ngokufuthi ukuhamba kwexesha kuya kukunceda ukuba uyoyise loo miqobo. Ubulolo buya kuphela.

Noko ke, ubulolo obungapheliyo, bubangelwa nguwe ibe bunokubangelwa kukuzijongela phantsi. Kwimeko enjalo, yenza okuthile! ILizwi likaThixo lithi: ‘Yiba kumila kumbi’ uze ‘wambathe ubuntu obutsha.’ (Roma 12:⁠2; Efese 4:​23, 24) Ewe, zixabise ngokuphucula iimpawu ezithandekayo onazo. Benzele izinto abanye abantu, ibe ngokuqhelekileyo baya kusabela.

Phofu ke, enoba basabela njani abantu, unokuba nomhlobo ongayi kukudanisa. Ngubani lowo? UYesu Kristu waxelela abafundi bakhe oku: “Nindishiye ndedwa; ukanti andindedwa, ngokuba uBawo unam.” (Yohane 16:​32) Olu lwalamano lusondeleyo noYehova lwamomeleza uYesu ebudeni bamathuba obulolo. UYehova unokuba ngumhlobo wakho osondeleyo. Bazi ubuntu bakhe ngokufunda iBhayibhile uze ugqale indalo yakhe. Bomeleze ubuhlobo bakho naye ngomthandazo. Kungekudala uya kufumanisa ukuba ubuhlobo noYehova uThixo busesona sicombululo silungileyo kubulolo bakho.

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 21]

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