Musa Ukuvumela Ubulolo Bonakalise Ubomi Bakho

UBULOLO bunokonakalisa ubomi babakhulileyo nabaselula ngokufanayo. Umbhali uJudith Viorst wathi kwiphephancwadi elithi Redbook: “Ubulolo buyayidandathekisa intliziyo. . . . Ubulolo busenza singabi nto yanto yaye siphelelwe lithemba. Ubulolo busenza sizive siziinkedama, sinjengemvana elahlekileyo, sibancinane kangako yaye silahlekile kwihlabathi elikhulu gqitha nelingenankathalo.”—Septemba 1991.

Ukuba kude nabahlobo, ukuba kwindawo ongayiqhelanga, uqhawulo-mtshato, ukufelwa ngumntu omthandayo, okanye ukungabikho konxibelelwano—zonke ezi zinto zinokukwenza ube lilolo. Kwanaxa bengqongwe ngabanye abantu, bambi bangamalolo ngokunzulu.

Yintoni Onokuyenza?

Ukuba uhlaselwa bubulolo, ngaba ufanele ube lixhoba nje elingenakuzinceda? Ngaba kukho nayiphi na into onokuyenza ukuthintela ubulolo bungakutshabalalisi ngokuthe ngcembe okanye buphelise umnqweno wakho wokudla ubomi? Ngokwenene ikho. Icebiso eliluncedo liyafumaneka. Yaye isiluleko esilungileyo sinikelwe eLizwini likaThixo eliphefumlelweyo, iBhayibhile. Kusenokuba ufuna ukhuthazo olunjalo ukuze ulwe nobulolo.—Mateyu 11:28, 29.

Ngokomzekelo, usenokukufumanisa kukhuthaza ukufunda ngoRute, umfazana owayehlala kuMbindi Mpuma kwiminyaka emalunga nama-3 000 eyadlulayo. Wayesenokuba lixhoba elikhulu lokuhlaselwa bubulolo. Xa wafelwa yindoda, wahamba noninazala ukuya kuhlala kummandla angawuqhelanga wakwaSirayeli. (Rute 2:11) Nangona wayehlukene nentsapho yakowabo nabahlobo bangaphambili yaye engumphambukeli kwilizwe lasemzini, akukho ndawo eBhayibhileni ebonisa ukuba wavumela ubulolo bumgubungele. Unokufunda ibali lakhe kwincwadi yeBhayibhile kaRute.

NjengoRute, kufuneka ube nesimo sengqondo esikhuthazayo. Indlela ocinga ngayo ngemibandela neziganeko ezithile inokukwenza uzive ulilolo. UAnn, owathi kangangeminyaka emine wonga uyise kwisifo esamenza wangumlwelwe, uyakungqina oku. Xa wafayo waba lilolo ngokugqithisileyo. Uthi: “Ndaziva ndingento yanto, ndingaxabisekanga ngokupheleleyo—ngokungathi ndandingasafunwa mntu kwaphela. Kodwa ndajamelana nesibakala sokuba ngoku ubomi bam babuguqukile, yaye ndafumanisa ukuba ukuze ndilwe nobulolo endandinabo kwakufuneka ndijamelane neemeko ngoku endandikuzo.” Maxa wambi akunakuziguqula iimeko zakho, kodwa kusenokwenzeka ukuba unokusiguqula isimo sakho sengqondo ngazo.

Ukuzigcina uxakekile kumsebenzi onomvuzo asikuphela kwesicombululo ekulweni nobulolo, nangona kuluncedo. UIrene, owaba ngumhlolokazi emva nje kweenyanga ezintandathu etshatile, wakufumanisa kuyinyaniso oku kwimeko yakhe. Uthi: “Ndabona ukuba ubulolo babundihlasela kakhulu xa ndandingaxakekanga kangako, ngoko ndaziqhelanisa nabanye yaye ndibanceda ukuba bahlangabezane neengxaki zabo.” Ukunceda abanye kuzisa ulonwabo, yaye amaKristu angamalolo anokwenza okuninzi kumsebenzi weNkosi.—IZenzo 20:35; 1 Korinte 15:58.

Vumela Abahlobo Bakuncede

IThe New York Times Magazine ibachaza abantwana abangamalolo njengabenzakaliswe “ngamanxeba okungabi nabahlobo.” (Aprili 28, 1991) Abantu abaninzi abangamalolo, abaselula nabakhulu, baziva bengenabahlobo. Ngoko ke, kuyingenelo ngokwenene ukuba nobuhlobo bokwenene obunikelwa libandla lamaKristu elinenkathalo. Yenza umgudu wokwandisa abahlobo onabo ebandleni, uze ubavumele bakuncede ngazo naziphi na iindlela abanokukunceda ngazo. Le yenye into abahlobo abakholo yona—ukunikela inkxaso ngamaxesha kaxakeka.—IMizekeliso 17:17; 18:24.

Noko ke, yiba ngophaphileyo, kuba ngenxa yentlungu onayo ngokweemvakalelo, eneneni usenokwenza kube nzima ngabahlobo ukukunceda. Njani? Umbhali uJeffrey Young uthi: “Bambi abantu abangamalolo . . . bayabagxotha abo basenokuba ngabahlobo, mhlawumbi ngokusoloko bengoongqa phambili xa kuncokolwa okanye ngokuthetha izinto ezicaphukisayo okanye ezingafanelekanga. Ngandlel’ ithile, abantu abangamalolo ngokungapheliyo baphethukela ekulutshabalaliseni ulwalamano olusondeleyo.”—U.S.News & World Report, Septemba 17, 1984.

Maxa wambi, usenokuzenza mbi ngakumbi izinto ngokuzenza inkomo edla yodwa. UPeter, indoda ekwiminyaka yayo yama-50, wakwenza oko. Emva kokufa komfazi wakhe, wazifumanisa erhoxa kwabanye, nangona kumazantsi entliziyo yakhe wayelufuna uncedo lwabo. Uthi: “Kwiintsuku ezithile ndandingakwazi tu kwaphela ukukunyamezela ukuba phakathi kwabanye, yaye ekuhambeni kwexesha ndazifumanisa ndiyinkomo edla yodwa.” Oku kunokuba yingozi. Ngoxa amathuba okuba wedwa eyingenelo, ukuzahlula kuyenzakalisa. (IMizekeliso 18:1) UPeter wakuqonda oku. Uthi: “Ekugqibeleni ndakoyisa oku, ndahlangabezana ngempumelelo nemeko endandikuyo, yaye, ngoncedo lwabahlobo bam, ndakwazi ukubakha kwakhona ubomi bam.”

Noko ke, musa ukucinga ukuba abanye banyanzelekile ukunceda. Zama ukungabi ngofuna ngegunya. Bamkele ngovuyo nabuphi na ububele obubonakaliswayo, uze uvakalise uxabiso ngabo. Kodwa kwakhona khumbula eli cebiso lihle lifumaneka kwiMizekeliso 25:17: “Malungayi futhi unyawo lwakho endlwini yommelwane wakho, hleze adikwe nguwe, akuthiye.” UFrances, owajamelana nobulolo obunzulu xa umyeni wakhe wafayo emva kweminyaka engama-35 betshatile, uvakalelwa kukuba isilumkiso esinjalo sibalulekile. Uthi: “Oko ukulindeleyo makube sengqiqweni, yaye musa ukufuna okuninzi kwabanye. Musa ukusoloko usiya emizini yabantu ufuna uncedo.”

UYehova Unenkathalo

Kwanaxa abahlobo abangabantu bekudanisa maxa wambi, uYehova uThixo usenguMhlobo wakho. Qiniseka ukuba uyakukhathalela. Yiba nentembelo eqinileyo kuye, yaye uqhubeke ufuna ikhusi kwinyameko yakhe ekhuselayo. (INdumiso 27:10; 91:1, 2; IMizekeliso 3:5, 6) UmMowabhikazi uRute wakwenza oku yaye wasikelelwa ngokuyintabalala. Kaloku, wada waba ngukhokhokazi kaYesu Kristu!—Rute 2:12; 4:17; Mateyu 1:5, 16.

Thandaza rhoqo kuYehova. (INdumiso 34:4; 62:7, 8) UMargaret wawufumanisa umthandazo ungumthombo wamandla amakhulu ekuhlangabezaneni nobulolo. Wayekunye nendoda yakhe kubulungiseleli bexesha elizeleyo de kwasekufeni kwakhe esengumfana. Uthi: “Ndandisoloko ndikufumanisa kuluncedo ukuthandaza ngokuvakalayo ndize ndixelele uYehova yonke into, zonke izinto ezindixhalabisayo nezindikhathazayo. Oko kwandinceda ndazithabatha ngembono elungileyo izinto xa ndandihlaselwa bubulolo. Yaye ukubona uYehova eyiphendula loo mithandazo kwandenza ndanentembelo.” Ungenelwa kakhulu kukulandela icebiso lompostile uPetros elithi: “Zithobeni ngoko ngaphantsi kwesandla esinamandla sikaThixo, ukuze aniphakamise ngexesha elifanelekileyo. Lonke ixhala lenu liphoseni phezu kwakhe, ngokuba yena enikhathalele.”—1 Petros 5:6, 7; INdumiso 55:22.

Ulwalamano oluhle noYehova luya kukunceda ulondoloze into ngokufuthi abaphulukana nayo abantu abangamalolo—ukuzixabisa. Xa indoda yakhe yabulawa ngumhlaza, umchola-choli weendaba uJeannette Kupfermann wabhala “ngeemvakalelo zokungazixabisi kangako nokuziva ungento yanto.” Wathi: “Yile mvakalelo yokungabi nto yanto ekhokelela abahlolokazi abaninzi ekubeni badandatheke kangangokuba baphantse bazibulale.”

Khumbula ukuba uYehova ukuxabisa gqitha. Akacingi ukuba akunto yanto. (Yohane 3:16) UThixo uya kukuxhasa njengokuba wabaxhasayo abantu bakhe amaSirayeli kumaxesha amandulo. Wathi kubo: “Andikucekisile; musa ukoyika, kuba ndinawe mna; musa ukubhekabheka, kuba ndinguThixo wakho; ndikukhaliphisile, ewe, ndikuncedile, ndikuxhasile ngesandla sam sokunene sobulungisa bam.”—Isaya 41:9, 10.

Musa Ukumbek’ Ityala UThixo

Ngaphezu kwako konke, musa ukumbek’ ityala uThixo ngobulolo bakho. Abubangelwanga nguYehova. Injongo yakhe ibisoloko ikukuba wena, nalo lonke uluntu, ninandiphe ubuhlobo obuhle, obanelisayo. Xa uThixo wadala uAdam, wathi: “Akulungile ukuba umntu abe yedwa; ndiya kumenzela umncedi onguwabo.” (Genesis 2:18) Yaye oko koko uThixo wakwenzayo xa wadala uEva, umfazi wokuqala. Ukuba kwakungengenxa yemvukelo yobusathana, indoda nomfazi neentsapho abazivelisayo ngezazingazange zibe ngamalolo.

Kambe ke, ukuvumela kukaYehova ubungendawo okwexeshana, kubangele ukwanda kobulolo nokuvela kokunye ukubandezeleka. Noko ke, makucace engqondweni yakho ukuba oku kokwexeshana. Izilingo zobulolo zibonakala kungenzima kangako ukuzinyamezela xa zijongwa ngengqiqo yoko uThixo aya kukwenzela kona kwihlabathi lakhe elitsha. Okwangoku uya kukuxhasa aze akuthuthuzele.—INdumiso 18:2; Filipi 4:6, 7.

Ukukwazi oku kuya kukomeleza. Xa uFrances (okhankanywe ngaphambilana) waba ngumhlolokazi, wathuthuzelwa gqitha ngokukodwa ebusuku ngamazwi eNdumiso 4:8, athi: “Ndiya kulala phantsi, ndilale ubuthongo kwangoku, ndixolile, ngokuba wena, Yehova, undihlalisa ndikholosile, noko ndindedwa.” Camngca ngamazwi anjengalawo afumaneka kwincwadi yeeNdumiso. Cinga ngendlela uThixo akukhathalele ngayo, njengoko ichazwe kwiNdumiso 23:1-3.

Banokuncedwa Njani Abangamalolo?

Indlela eyintloko yokunceda amalolo kukubonakalisa kuwo uthando. Izihlandlo ezininzi iBhayibhile ikhuthaza abantu bakaThixo ukuba bathandane, ngokukodwa ngamaxesha ezilingo. Umpostile uPawulos wabhala: “Mayela nothando olu lobuzalwana, yenzelanani ububele.” (Roma 12:10) Enyanisweni, iLizwi eliphefumlelweyo likaThixo lithi: “Uthando aluze lutshitshe.” (1 Korinte 13:8) Unokulubonakalisa njani uthando kwabangamalolo?

Kunokucezela kude okanye babatyeshele abantu abangamalolo, abantu abanenkxalabo banokubonakalisa ububele babo ngokubanceda ngomonde nanini na kunokwenzeka. Banokuba njengendoda uYobhi, eyathi: “Kuba bendisiza iintsizana ezizibikayo, neenkedama, noswele umncedi. . . . Nentliziyo yomhlolokazi bendiyimemelelisa.” (Yobhi 29:12, 13) Abadala abamiselweyo kwibandla lamaKristu nabahlobo abanovelwano banokwenza ngendlela efanayo yovelwano ngokunikela ngezinto ezisisiseko ezifunwa ngabantu, ukuqonda, ububele nokuthuthuzela. Banokubonakalisa uvelwano, yaye maxa wambi basenokuthetha nabo izinto eziyimfihlo.—1 Petros 3:8.

Ngokufuthi, iba zizinto ezincinane abahlobo abazenzela abantu abangamalolo eziba zezona zibalulekileyo. Ngokomzekelo, xa lowo ukholwa naye efelwa ngumntu amthandayo, kunokufezwa okuninzi okuhle ngezenzo zobubele zobuhlobo bokwenene. Musa ukuzijongela phantsi izinto ezincinane zokubonakalisa ububele, njengokummemela kwisidlo, ukuba ngumphulaphuli onovelwano, okanye ingxubusho ekhuthazayo. Ezi zinto ziphumelela gqitha ekuncedeni umntu alwe nobulolo.—Hebhere 13:16.

Ngokunokwenzeka sonke sisenokuhlaselwa bubulolo amaxesha ngamaxesha. Ukanti, ubulolo abufanele busibandezele. Zixakekise ngemisebenzi enentsingiselo, eyakhayo. Bavumele abahlobo bancede xa benako. Thembela ngoYehova uThixo. Khumbula idinga elikhuthazayo ekunikelwe ingxelo ngalo kwiNdumiso 34:19: “Buninzi ububi obulihlelayo ilungisa, ke uYehova ulihlangula kubo bonke.” Phethukela kuYehova ukuze ufumane uncedo, yaye musa ukuvumela ubulolo bonakalise ubomi bakho.

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 24]

IINDLELA EZITHILE ZOKULWA UBULOLO

▪ Hlala usondele kuYehova

▪ Funa intuthuzelo ngokufunda iBhayibhile

▪ Londoloza isimo sengqondo esikhuthazayo sobuKristu

▪ Zixakekise ngomsebenzi onentsingiselo

▪ Yandisa abahlobo onabo

▪ Yenza kube lula ngabahlobo ukunceda

▪ Musa ukuzahlula, kodwa hlakulela ukubonakalisa uthando ngokuphandle

▪ Yiba nentembelo yokuba uYehova ukukhathalele

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 24]

INDLELA OSENOKUMNCEDA NGAYO OLILOLO

▪ Yiba ngoqondayo, onobubele nothuthuzelayo

▪ Yiba ngokwaziyo ukugcina izinto eziyimfihlo

▪ Zingisa ekwenzeni izinto ezincinane ezinokunceda

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 23]

Phezu kwazo nje iimeko ezinzima awayekuzo, akukho nto ebonisa ukuba uRute wavumela ubulolo bonakalisa ubomi bakhe