Kutheni Bebaninzi Kangaka Abantu Abangamalolo?
ABANTU abaninzi namhlanje bangamalolo. Ubulolo buchaphazela bonke abantu enoba badala kangakanani, abantu bazo zonke iintlanga, abakwimigangatho eyahlukahlukeneyo nabaneenkolelo zonqulo ezahlukahlukeneyo. Ngaba wakha waziva ulilolo? Ngaba ulilolo ngoku? Eneneni, sonke ngaxa lithile sakha sakunqwenela ukuba nobuhlobo nabanye—sasifuna umntu onokusiphulaphula, onokusithuthuzela, okanye esinokuphalaza kuye imbilini yethu okanye oko sikucingayo nomntu osiqondayo. Siyamfuna umntu onokubonakalisa uvelwano kwindlela esivakalelwa ngayo.
Noko ke, ukuba wedwa akuthethi kuthi ulilolo. Umntu unokuba yedwa ixesha elide, anandiphe ukwenza okuthile kodwa angaziva elilolo. Ngokwahlukileyo koko, kukho abantu abangakwaziyo ukuhlala bodwa. I-The American Heritage Dictionary ithi: “Ukuba wedwa kukungabikho phakathi kwabanye kodwa akuthethi kuthi akonwabanga. . . . Ubulolo budla ngokubhekisela kumntu okhathazekayo kukuba yedwa . . . Ukuba nesithukuthezi kubhekisela kumntu olusizi onqwenela ubuhlobo,” oko kukuthi umntu onesingqukru, okhathazekileyo okanye onxubileyo. Loo mntu ufuna ukuthuthuzelwa ngokunyanisekileyo nangothando ukuze akwazi ukuchwayita kwakhona. Okokugqibela, ikheswa lidla ngokuchazwa “ngokufanayo nelolo okanye umntu onesithukuthezi . . . Noko ke, eli gama lidla ngokubhekisela kumntu ozikhetha ngabom kwabanye.”
Ubulolo yintlungu enzulu, yaye bunokubangela umntu akhathazeke kakhulu. Ukuba lilolo kukuziva ungento yanto. Kukuziva uyinkom’ edla yodwa, wahlukanisiwe nabanye abantu. Sinokuziva sizizisulu yaye sisoyika. Ngaba wakha wavakalelwa ngale ndlela? Yintoni ebangela ubulolo?
Iingxaki neemeko ezithile zibachaphazela ngendlela eyahlukileyo abantu. Mhlawumbi uvakalelwa kukuba oontanga bakho abakufuni ngenxa yenkangeleko yakho, ubuhlanga okanye unqulo. Ukutshintsha kweemeko—njengokuya kufunda kwesinye isikolo, ukuqalisa umsebenzi kwenye indawo okanye ukufudukela kwenye indawo, isixeko okanye ilizwe—kunokwenza umntu azive elilolo kuba eshiye abahlobo bakhe. Ukufelwa ngumzali okanye iqabane lomtshato kunokushiya abathandekayo bengamalolo kangangeminyaka emininzi. Kwakhona, njengoko sikhula, abahlobo bethu nabantu esibaqhelileyo baya besiba mbalwa okanye baphele.
Ukutshata akusoloko kusisiqinisekiso sokuphela kobulolo. Ukungaqondani okanye ukungafanelani kusenokubangela iingxaki ezinokuba ngunozala wokungaqiniseki yaye kusenokude kubangele ukungahoywa kweqabane nabantwana. Kodwa, ukongezelela kubulolo obubangelwa kukufelwa ngumntu omthandayo, luqhawulo-mtshato okanye ukungakhathalelwa, kukho nolunye uhlobo lobulolo olunokusichaphazela ngokunzulu. Le meko ibakho xa ulwalamano lwethu noThixo lungasaqinanga size sizive sahlukanisiwe naye.
Ngaba wakha wehlelwa yenye yezi meko zichazwe ngasentla? Ngaba unokukwazi ukuhlangabezana nobulolo?
[Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 4]
Ukutshintsha kweemeko, njengokuya kufunda kwesinye isikolo nokufelwa liqabane kunokubangela ubani abe lilolo