Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .
Ndinokumenza Njani Ukuba Andiyeke?
UDavid uyeyona nkwenkwe ithandwayo esikolweni. Yaye ngequbuliso, ubonakalisa ukuba nomdla kuwe, nto leyo ebangela ukuba onke amantombazana esikolweni akumonele! Izihlandlo eziliqela uye wakucela ukuba nikhe niye kubethwa ngumoya, yaye sihlandlo ngasinye uye akwavuma. Kodwa uDavid ukuxelela ukuba ayikho enye intombazana awakhe wayidumbel’ intloko ngolu hlobo yaye akayi kuyamkela impendulo yakho elandulayo. Akufuni kwenzakalisa iimvakalelo zakhe, kodwa uyakwazi oko asenokuba utyekele kuko engqondweni yakhe. Kutheni engenakukhe akuyeke nje?
KUYO yonk’ indawo amabhinqa aselula (yaye ngokuqhelekileyo namhlanje nabafana) ayakhathazwa ngamaqabane esikolo nangabo asebenza nabo abawanikela ingqalelo yothando enganqwenelekiyo. Ngokufuthi ukuzibika kwabo kufana nesimemo esitsolileyo sokubandakanyeka ekuziphatheni okubi ngokwesini. Ubuya kusabela njani ukuba oku bekusenzeka kuwe?
Inqaku elikwiPsychology Today lithi: “Ukuba indoda ibonakalisa isincwaso esithile, ngentetho ekwekwayo okanye ngezimbo zomzimba, umele usabele ngoko nangoko. Ukuba akukwenzi oko, ukuthi cwaka kwakho kuyikhuthazela ukuba iqhubeke.” Ngoko umele wenze okuthile—kodwa okuyintoni?
Isizathu Sokuba Kube Nzima Ukulandula
Ibhinqa eliselula eligama linguSherron livuma ngokuphandle ngokwenene: “Kudla ngokungabi ngumqobo ukwala xa inkwenkwe ingxathu.” Ingxaki yeyokuba, sonke siyayithanda ingqalelo. Yaye xa isuka kothile esimbukayo okanye esimfumanisa enomtsalane, akukho lula ukukuchasa oko. Kodwa zibuze oku: ‘Ngaba lo mntu unosukelo, imbono yokomoya nemilinganiselo yokuziphatha okuhle efana neyam?’ (2 Korinte 6:14) Ukuba akunjalo, ngokuqinisekileyo ukusabela kwizicelo zakhe kukuzinqikel’ ilitye elineembovane.
Sekunjalo, usenokujamelana nengcinezelo eqatha yoontanga yokuba uphambuke kwimilinganiselo yakho yonqulo. UDana oselula unikela le ngxelo: “Amantombazana emsebenzini andinyanzela ukuphuma ndiye kungqungqa kunye nawo; ayandibuza isizathu sokungenzi dinga namntu.” Ukuba usesikolweni, amaqabane esikolo ngokufanayo anokukubongoza ukuba uphume namanye amakhwenkwe alapho. Olu hlobo lwengcinezelo lunokusenza buthathaka ngokulula isigqibo sakho. Yintoni onokuyenza ukuze usiqinise isigqibo sakho?
Zibekele Imida
Isaci esidala samaNgesi sithi, ‘Umgudu omncinane wokuthintela ufana nentlaninge yonyango.’ UMaria uyavumelana noku. Uthi: “Ndiyazazisa ukuba ndingomnye wamaNgqina kaYehova.” Xa amakhwenkwe esazi ukuba unemilinganiselo ephakamileyo yokuziphatha okuhle, anokuthotha ekukukhathazeni.
Ukuzilungisa okufanelekileyo nako kunendima ebalulekileyo ekuthibazeni ingqalelo enganqwenelekiyo. Omnye umphathi kwinkampani ethile eNew York wakufunda oku xa waqalisa ukuba neengxaki namadoda kwindawo awayesebenza kuyo. Uphawula oku: “Nangona ndandizimisele ngomsebenzi wam, kwakungabonakali kunjalo kwabanye. Ngoko ndaziphotha iinwele zam, ndaza ndaqalisa ukunxiba iihempe zomqhaphu, iindondo ezinkulu kwaneempahla ezenziwe ngokwentando yomthengi emsebenzini. Ndikhangeleka ndizimisele emsebenzini, ingekuko ekudlaleni ngothando.” Kambe ke, inkangeleko enjalo isenokungabi yomfuneko kwimeko yakho, kodwa iyayibonakalisa imfuneko yokuqiniseka ukuba isinxibo nokuzilungisa kwakho zinikela uluvo olufanelekileyo ngawe.—1 Timoti 2:9.
Omnye uthunywashe obalulekileyo luhlobo lwabahlobo olukhethayo. IBhayibhile ithi: “Ohamba nezilumko uba sisilumko naye; ke olikholwane lesidenge [ngokuziphatha] uya konakaliswa.” (IMizekeliso 13:20) Ngoko musa ukunxulumana—okanye kwaukubaphulaphula—abantu abaqhula ngezinto ezingcolileyo okanye abaqhayisa ngokufeketha ngesini. Ukuba wenjenjalo, abanye banokukucingela phosakeleyo. UErica oselula uthi xa incoko iya igabadela, uyabaxelela, “Lowo ngumqondiso wokuba mandihambe,” yaye bayayifumana ingongoma.
Ukuba “Ludonga”
Noko ke, maxa wambi, kwanokuyenza yaziwe into yokuba ungumKristu akwanelanga ukuthibaza ama-nye amakhwenkwe. (Omnye umfana ozimiseleyo waqiqa ngale ndlela, “Ukuba ngumKristu kwakho kwenza wuphi umahluko? Usengumntu obhinqileyo, yaye ndiseyindoda.”) Uqhubana njani nemeko elolu hlobo? Kaloku, khawucinge ngomzekelo weBhayibhile wentombi engumShulamikazi. Wayefilishwa ngomnye wezona zinhanha, wezona zilumko kwanawona madoda adumileyo awayekhe aphila emhlabeni—uKumkani uSolomon. Noko ke, wayesele ethandana nomalusi othobekileyo owayehlala kwidolophu yakowabo. Ngoko wayenokumenza njani uSolomon ukuba amyeke?
Okokuqala, wayekuqonda kakuhle oko wayekuko. Wathi: “Ndingumfiyo waseSharon.” (INgoma yazo iiNgoma 2:1) Ukuba nesimo sengqondo sokuthobeka esinjalo kubalulekile kuba esona sixhobo abahendi abasisebenzisayo kukuncoma okugqithiseleyo. UmShulamikazi wayethobeke gqitha ukuba angaba lixhoba laloo nto. Yaye xa ‘iintombi zaseYerusalem’ zasebenzisa iingcinezelo yoontanga ukuzama ukumnyanzelela ukuvuma uSolomon, wazifungisa ukuba ‘zingaluvusi okanye ziluvuselele uthando kuye, lude luthande.’ (INgoma yazo iiNgoma 3:5) Ukuzazisa izinxulumani zakho ngesimo sakho ngendlela efanayo kunokuyithomalalisa ingcinezelo yazo.
Okona kubalulekileyo kukuba, intombi engumShulamikazi yayizimisele ukuxhathisa onke amalinge kakumkani okuba iguqule ingqondo yayo. Ngeqhayiya yabhengeza oku, “Ndaba ludonga mna.” (INgoma yazo iiNgoma 8:10) Umele uzibonakalise womelele ngolo hlobo ngokuphathelele ukucelwa kobuhlobo okungafanelekanga. NjengomShulamikazi, ufanele ufunde ukukwazi ukuthi hayi. Ukuba ukwenjenjalo kuyakunzimela, qhelisela ukuthi hayi kwiimeko ezilula. Ziqhelise ukukukhusela oko ukukholelwayo. Ngoko xa kuvela iimeko ezinzima uya kube ukulungele kakuhle ukuhlangabezana nazo.
Zithintele Izimbo Zokucela Uthando!
Ngoku makhe siqwalasele ezinye zeendlela eziqhelekileyo zokulukuhla amakhwenkwe azisebenzisayo nendlela omele uzijonga ngayo:
‘Wonk’ ubani uyakwenza.’ Musa ukuyikholelwa loo nto! Uhlolisiso lwentlangano eyiPlanned Parenthood ludize ukuba ama-53 ekhulwini amantombazana akubudala be-17 leminyaka eUnited States aye abandakanyeka ekuziphatheni okubi ngokwesini. Noko ke, oku kuthetha ukuba kusekho angama-47 ekhulwini angenzanga njalo—kuquka nawe! Ngapha koko, amaKristu ‘awalandeli isininzi’ xa kusaphulwa imigaqo yeBhayibhile.—Eksodus 23:2.
‘Akukakhuli ngokupheleleyo.’ Nakanye! Abantu abakhulileyo bachazwe eBhayibhileni njengabo “bathi ngenxa yobugcisa, babe nezimvo eziqheliselwe ukucalula okuhle kwanokubi.”—Hebhere 5:14.
‘Undibamba sona.’ Akubambi nabani na isini—kungakhathaliseki enoba ngofunda naye, umqeshi wakho, umhlobo okanye nabani na ongomnye! Yaye akukho namnye unelungelo lokusifuna ngenkani.
‘Khawuzonwabise okomzuzwana. Kusenokwenzeka sife ngomso!’ NjengamaKristu sikhangele phambili kubomi obungunaphakade. Asinakuvumela ukuzonwabisa kwethu komzuzwana ngesini esingavumelekanga kubhangise ulonwabo lwaphakade.—1 Korinte 15:32-34.
Iintetho ezigwegwelezayo ezinjalo zifuna impendulo ethe ngqo—ngamanye amaxesha ephandle. Yaye ukuba ubani uquqa ebuyelela, kusenokufuneka uzikis’ ukucinga indlela onokumphendula ngayo lo mntu ngokunempumelelo ngakumbi. (IMizekeliso 15:28) Kuyo nayiphi na into oyithethayo, mbonise ukuba uzimisele ukuyikhaba ngawo omane imigudu yakhe; musa ukubonakalisa ukuyonwabela okanye ukuba neentloni.
Umbhali onguJoyce Jillson ucebisa ngokungakumbi: “Ukuba ngokwenene ufuna ukudambisa iimeko ngokupheleleyo, xubusha ngezinto zonqulo.” Inkoliso yolutsha olungamaKristu ikufumanise oku kuyinyaniso. Enye intombazana ithi: “Nanini na ubani othile ezama ukwenza izimbo zokucela uthando, ndirhola IMboniselo.” Ewe, enye yezona ndlela zibalaseleyo zokuzikhusela kukucacisa oko ukukholelwayo. Menze loo mntu azi isizathu sokuyala kwakho imizamo yakhe. Akumthiyanga yena ubuqu koko uthiye oko azama ukukwenza. Uhlobo olunjalo lokuqiqa luluncedo ngokukhethekileyo ukuba ubani lowo ngumntu ofanele ujamelane naye umhla nezolo. Ukuba ubonakalisa umdla othile kokuthethwa yiBhayibhile, ilungu eliyindoda lebandla lamaKristu linokuqhubeka nako oko.
Ngelishwa, bakho abanye ongenakuqiqa nabo. Ekuphela konokukwenza kukuchaza ngokucacileyo, ngokungenalusini ukuma kwakho—uze uguquke uhambe. Ukuba inkathazo iyaqhubeka okanye imeko iba ngaphaya kwamandla akho, kuncokole oku nabazali bakho. Banokuba namacebiso athile—okanye banokucinga ngokungenelela. Ngamanye amaxesha, kusenokufuneka uyibaleke imeko!—Thelekisa iGenesis 39:12.
Ngoku, usenokuba sisisulu sokunyeliswa okanye ukugculelwa ngenxa yokuma kwakho, kodwa musa ukudimazeka. NjengomShulamikazi, uya kunandipha uxolo lwengqondo olubangelwa kukwenza okulungileyo. (INgoma yazo iiNgoma 8:10) Ngapha koko, asingawo onke amakhwenkwe anokusabela ngokunyelisayo. Nangona uKumkani uSolomon waliwayo yiloo ntombi, akazange ayicingele phosakeleyo. Enyanisweni, wabhala enye yezona ngoma ziluncuthu kwezakha zaqanjwa, eyibonga! Ngokufanayo, uninzi lwamakhwenkwe luya kukuhlonela ukuma kwakho kwenkalipho. Ibe kuthekani ukuba awenjinjalo? Qhubeka nje ubambelele kwisigqibo sakho njengomShulamikazi. Yiba “ludonga” yaye ungabi “ngumnyango” ovuleka lula. (INgoma yazo iiNgoma 8:9) Khumbula: Intlalo-ntle kanaphakade yakho nokuzihlonela kusesichengeni!
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 12]
Unokuqhubana njani namakhwenkwe angayi kumthabatha uhayi njengempendulo?