Abaphambukeli—Banokuphumelela Njani?
UJAROSLAV oneminyaka eli-17 ubudala, ekruqukile kukusoloko egculelwa ngenxa yokuba esuka eUkraine, waphendula ngokuthi: “Niyabona, abazali bam beza apha beziimbacu.” Wathi balincama ilizwe labo yaye nokuba bebefuna, abanakubuyela emva ngoku. La mava, abhalwe ngumbhali uJohn Brown kwincwadi yakhe ethi The Un-melting Pot, atyhila umzamo oqhelekileyo wokulwela ukwamkeleka amagoduka nabaphambukeli abaninzi abafanele bawunyamezele. Lo uselula wafumanisa ngamava abuhlungu ukuba ukuba neentloni ngokuba ngowelinye ilizwe kwakhe akuzange kuncede nto. Ekugqibeleni wagqiba kwelokuba asebenzise into yokuba ‘ndamkeleni njengoko ndinjalo’—yaye oko kwasebenza!
Umkhethe, ukurhanelwa nokuchukelwa ziimeko zokoqobo abaphambukeli abafanele bajamelane nazo. Kodwa ukuba ushiye ilizwe lakho lokuzalwa waya kwelinye, kukho amanyathelo aluncedo onokuwathabatha ukukunceda ukuba uhlangabezane nale nguqulelo.
Iintshukumisa Nesimo Sengqondo
Njengoko usazi ukuba uya kuhlangabezana nekhethe yaye mhlawumbi nokungafunwa kubomi bakho obutsha, unokuyihlengahlengisa intsabelo yakho ngokuvisisana nezo meko. URosemary, umphambukeli oliNgesi oseJapan, uthetha ngokusuka kumava awaba nawo. Ulumkisa esithi: “Musa ukucaphuka xa abantu baloo ndawo belihlab’ amadlala ilizwe owazalelwa kulo,” esongezelela oku: “Wuxhathise umnqweno omkhulu wokufuna ukuzikhusela wena, ilizwe lakho nemvelaphi yakho. Ekuhambeni kwethuba, abantu baya kugqiba ngawe ngokusuka kwisimo sakho sengqondo nehambo yakho yemihla ngemihla baze baliguqule ikhethe labo. Oko kunokuthabatha iminyaka.”
Khumbula ukuba abemi basekuhlaleni baneliso elibukhali gqitha ngokuphathelele iintshukumisa zakho zokufuna ukuhlala kwilizwe labo. Umbhaleli kaVukani! eJamani, ndawo leyo ngoku enabaphambukeli abaninzi gqitha abasuka eMpuma Yurophu, uthi: “Ingxaki yokuzivisisanisa nobomi kwelinye ilizwe ixhomekeke kwiintshukumisa zokufuduka kukabani. Abo banesizathu esihle sokufuduka, benomnqweno wokwenza ilizwe elitsha libe likhaya labo, ngokuqhelekileyo baba nento ebakhuthazela ukufunda ulwimi baze bafanelekele ukuhlala apho ngokulunge ngakumbi kangangoko benako. Abo banoluvo lokuba bafake nje intloko okanye abo bafuduka kuba beqhutywa ngokuyintloko kukucinga ngeengenelo zezoqoqosho baphoxeka msinyane. Ngoko ke abazibhokoxi kangako ekuzivisisaniseni nemeko entsha, nto leyo ekhokelela ekunxunguphaleni kwabo nabo baqhubana nabo.” Kambe ke, oku akuthethi ukuba abaphambukeli abafanele babuyele kumazwe abazalelwa kuwo ukuba banqwenela ukwenjenjalo.
Sekunjalo, isimo sengqondo neentshukumisa zomntu oshiye elokuzalwa kwakhe esiya kwelinye ilizwe zinokuthetha ukuphumelela okanye ukungaphumeleli kwakhe xa ezama ukuziqhelanisa nemeko yaloo ndawo. Njengokuba iU.S.News & World Report ikubeka, ukuba ungumphambukeli, phawula ukuba phakathi kwabemi bomthonyama baloo ndawo kukho inkolelo eyendeleyo yokuba “oomafik’ izolo bayasinyibilikisa isinamathelisi esiyimvelaphi efanayo yabantu nesenza iintlanga zibe yimbumba yamanyama.” Kodwa njengoko uzibonakalisa ukuxabiseka kwakho njengommi ovela kwelinye ilizwe yaye usiba negalelo, abantu ofikele kubo baya kukufumanisa kulula gqitha ukukwamkela yaye bade bakhe ubuhlobo nawe. Kunjengokuba uRosemary, umphambukeli okhankanywe ngaphambilana, echaza: “Bafuna uzazi ukuba akuyonzalelwane yalapha, kodwa bakwafuna ukuba uthande oko bakuthandayo.”
Zimbi zeengxaki oya kujamelana nazo njengomphambukeli kunokuhlangatyezwana nazo, ukuba azinakuphetshwa, ngokufunda okuninzi kangangoko kunokwenzeka ngendawo oceba ukuya kuhlala kuyo. Ukufunda, ukufundisisa nokuncokola nabanye ngelo lizwe, amasiko nezithethe zabantu balapho kunokuba luncedo olukhulu ekukulungiseleleni ukudideka nokuxhalaba nakanjani na oya kuhlangabezana nako ngenxa yezithethe obungazilindelanga.
Kakade ke, ukukubhalisa ngokwasemthethweni ukufuduka kwakho kubalulekile ukuze uzuze intlonelo yabemi bomthonyama belo lizwe. Abantu abaninzi banoluvo lokuba, abaphambukeli abangabhaliswanga ngokwasemthethweni bayinkathazo nesisongelo. Phantsi kweemeko ezintle bagqalwa njengabasebenzi abangafuni mivuzo ingakanani, abalindele nje ukuxhatshazwa ngokungenalusini. Abaphambukeli abaphumeleleyo bathi kuyingenelo ukuzama konke okusemandleni akho ukububhalisa ngokwasemthethweni ubukho bakho. Xa amagosa ajongene nabaphambukeli edlan’ indlebe nawe, kubalulekile ukuba uye kuwo ucocekile yaye ufanelekile ukuze akubone ukuba ungumntu anokumamkela kwilizwe lawo. Bonakalisa isimo sengqondo sentsebenziswano. Musa ukuthunga amabhenya.
Kodwa, njengomphambukeli, unokuninzi onokukwenza ukuze upholise intlungu yokwamkela ilizwe elitsha njengelizwe lakowenu.
Cinga Ngokuphangaleleyo
Utyekelo lokwemvelo lwenkoliso yabantu abafikayo kukubuthelana ndawonye bebodwa. Ngokomzekelo, kwisiXeko saseNew York, bonke abantu abangabamelwane ubukhulu becala ngabohlanga olunye—i-Itali encinane, idolophu yamaTshayina, icandelo lamaYuda, ukukhankanya nje ezimbalwa. Abantu abahlala ndawonye ngolo hlobo benza imisebenzi eyimfuneko exhasayo eyenza umphambukeli azive esekhaya—inqanaba lokuqala lokuhlola iinkalo ezintsha ezisengaphambili.
Ngelishwa, kweli nqanaba bambi bayarhoxa baze bazivimbe amathuba neengenelo ebezinokubanceda ngokwenene. Ulindixesha othi Psychology of Women Quarterly, uthi: “Ukuba ubani ukhetha ukujamelana nendlela yobomi entsha . . . ngokuchasa nokucezela izithethe zabantu belizwe afudukele kulo, inkqubo yokuziqhelanisa neemeko isenokungaze igqitywe ngokunempumelelo.”
Ngokuchasene noko, inkoliso yabaphambukeli eye yabonisa ukuba nengqondo ephangaleleyo ngokokude izibhokoxe kwibutho labantu belizwe efikele kulo inikela ingxelo yokuba umphumo ube kukuba ubomi bayo buvuzwe ngokutyebileyo. Iqela labafundi baseMerika elachitha iiveki eziliqela lisenza uhlolisiso ngokuthelekisa izithethe ezahlukahlukeneyo kwisiqithi saseGuam iMicronesia lagqabaza ngendlela oku okwalenza lanembono ephangaleleyo ngayo ngezithethe zamanye amazwe. Omnye umfundi wathi: “Ukwahlukana ndikujonga ngomdla nangokufun’ ukwazi kunokuba ndikujonge njengesisongelo.” Omnye wathi: “Ndiqalisa ukuzikhangela ngolunye uhlobo izithethe zethu. . . . Ndifuna ukwazi ngemilinganiselo yokuziphatha nezinto ebendizithabatha lula ngaphambili. . . . Ndinokufunda okuthile kubantu balapha.”
Noko ke, ukuze uphumelele ekusebenziseni ithuba lokwenza inkqubela, kukho izinto ezithile ezisisiseko neziyimfuneko omele uhlangabezane nazo.
Iqwili Lokuzidibanisa Nabo
“Ukufunda ulwimi oluthethwa kwilizwe ofudukele kulo kukhokelela ekuqhelaneni nelo lizwe ngokukhawuleza nangokulula . . . kuba oko kuvumela umphambukeli ukuba asondelelane nabemi bomthonyama balapho.” Oko koko kunconyelwa ngulindixesha iPsychology of Women Quarterly. Kodwa qaphela! Ukufunda ulwimi akuyondlwan’ iyanetha. UGeorge, ongumphambukeli eJapan, ukhumbula oku: “Ekuqaleni ndanditsala nzima. Xa ndandisenza impazamo babesuka bandihleke kodwa bangandincedi.” Engadimazekanga, uGeorge wayethabatha unomathotholo ophathwayo naphi na apho ahamba khona aze aphulaphule usasazo lwesiJapan. Wongezelela oku: “Ndafumanisa ukuba ukufunda kakhulu kwandinceda ukuba ndilwazi olo lwimi.”
Ukwazi ulwimi lohlanga oluthile kuyindlela yokwazi izithethe zalo. Ngoxa ekugqibeleni kusenokwenzeka ukuba ulwazi olo lwimi, kunzima ngakumbi ukwamkela izithethe ezitsha. Umlinganiselo wokulungelelana ufuneka kule meko ke. Umphambukeli onqwenela ukuphumelela umele akulungele ukujamelana noxanduva lokufunda izithethe ezitsha, ngoxa kwangaxeshanye elondoloze obakhe ubuntu nokuzihlonela kungachukunyiswa. Njengokuba umbhali waseYugoslavia uMilovan Djilas echaza, “umntu unokushiya yonke into—ikhaya, ilizwe, umhlaba—kodwa akanakuzishiya yena.” Ukufumana ubuchule boko kulungelelana kuvelisa ucelomngeni olukhulu.
Umanyano Lwentsapho
Umntu ngamnye usabela ngokwahlukileyo kwimeko-bume entsha. Kuyaqondakala ukuba, abantu abadala bafumanisa ukuba izithethe nolwimi lwabo lomthonyama zendele nzulu. Noko ke, abantwana baqhelana ngokukhawuleza ngakumbi nolwimi nezithethe. Kungekudala, basenokubatolikela abazali babo, yaye abazali babo badla ngokuzifumana bekwisikhundla sabafundi. Oku kuguquka kweendima okungaqhelekanga kudla ngokukhokelela kwiingxabano phakathi entsatsheni. Abazali basenokuvakalelwa kukuba baphulukana nokuhlonelwa, ngoxa abantwana beyicaphukela into yokuba benyanzelwa ukugcina izithethe ‘ezishiywe lixesha’ zabazali babo. Ngoko iintsapho ezishiye ilizwe lokuzalwa zaza zafudukela kwelinye zinokuhlangabezana njani nezi ngcinezelo zandayo?
Phakathi kwezinye izinto, abazali bafanele baqwalasele umphumo enawo imeko-bume entsha kubantwana babo. Oku kuthetha ukwenza umgudu wokuziqhelanisa ndawonye nabantwana babo—bangabalindeli ukuba bahlale kwindawo enezithethe zayo baze sekunjalo banamathele kwizithethe zabo. Oku kuyekelela kuthetha ukuba abazali abangabaphambukeli bafanele babe nokuqonda, kodwa kunegalelo elikhulu ekupheliseni iimbambano ekhaya. Omnye umgaqo weBhayibhile ukubeka oku ngolu hlobo: “Indlu yona yakhiwa ngobulumko; izinziswe ngengqondo.”—IMizekeliso 24:3.
Ngokufanayo, abantwana bafanele baqonde ukuba nangona abazali babo besuka kwizithethe ezahlukileyo, baye bafunda lukhulu ebomini ibe ngoko ke banamava amaninzi gqitha. Intlonelo efanelekileyo abayinikwayo iluncedo olukhulu ekulondolozeni ubomi bentsapho obunoxolo.
Ngaloo ndlela, bungakhathaliseki ubunzima bokuziqhelanisa, wena njengomphambukeli, unokuninzi onokukwenza ekusebenziseni amava ukuze kungenelwe wena. Umfana ongumPhuthukezi nongumphambukeli onempumelelo ogama linguTony ukushwankathela oku ngale ndlela: “Nangona ndahlangabezana nobunzima obuninzi, ekuhambeni kwexesha, ndavuzwa. Ukuqonda iilwimi ezimbini neendlela zokuphila kundenze ndanembono ephangalele ngakumbi ngobomi.”
[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 10]
Abaphambukeli Banokuphumelela Njani?
Omawukwenze . . .
▶ funda ulwimi
▶ yamkela uze uqonde izithethe ezitsha
▶ yenza ngokuvisisana namasiko asekuhlaleni
▶ phanda ngemeko-bume entsha okuyo uze ubuze imibuzo ngayo
▶ yenza umgudu wokuqhelana njengentsapho
▶ sebenzisana nabasemagunyeni; yenza konke okusemandleni akho ukubhalisa ngokwasemthethweni ubume bakho
Musa . . .
▶ ukuzahlukanisa nabemi bendawo ofudukele kuyo
▶ ukugqala izithethe zenu njengezona ziphucukileyo
▶ ukwenza imali nokuba nezinto kube yinto yokuqala ebomini bakho
▶ ukulindela ukuba abantwana bakho banamathele kwizithethe zenu zangaphambili
▶ ukubajongela phantsi abazali bakho kuba benemvelaphi eyahlukileyo
▶ ukufuduka ngokwahlukeneyo nentsapho yakowenu, ukuba unokukuphepha oko
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 9]
Ukuba ufunda ulwimi oluthethwa kwilizwe elitsha okulo, uya kuwaphangalalisa amathuba akho okudibana nabanye