Nikela Ulwalathiso Abalufunayo
ABANTWANA bakho banokufunda njani ukuzikhusela ekuziphatheni okubi kwehlabathi okwandayo? Abanakufunda kumabonwakude, elathi elinye iqela labantu abaselula lambeka kwindawo yesine njengowona mthombo wenkcazelo ubalulekileyo ngesini. Abanakufunda ezikolweni, apho into efundiswa ngabafundisi-ntsapho ibonisa imigaqo nemilinganiselo eguquguqukayo yeli hlabathi lingenayo imilinganiselo yokuziphatha. Yaye ngokuqinisekileyo abanakufunda kumabali abaliswa ngabantwana abafunda nabo.
Ukuba imfundo engokuziphatha kunye nobomi bentsapho iza kuphumelela, imele iqalise ekhaya. Kunjengokuba omnye utitshalakazi oxhalabileyo wesikolo semfundo ephakamileyo wathi: “Umntu othile umele abe nenkalipho yokuthi: ‘Niyabona bantwana, akuyi kunivisa ntlungu ukulinda!’”
Ngaba ubafundisile oko abantwana bakho? Ngenxa yentaphane yombandela ongokwesini osingqongileyo, ngaba maxa wambi uyazibuza enoba uyayazi kusini na kwaindlela yokubafundisa?
Umphumo Onawo Umzekelo
Kanye njengokuba abazali bakho babuphembelelayo ubomi bakho ngendlela ababephila ngayo, ngoko umzekelo wakho ubuchaphazela ngamandla ubomi babantwana bakho. Utyhila okungakumbi ngomlinganiselo obathanda ngawo nohlobo lwabantu ofuna babe lulo.
Ukuba wawunyulu xa wawutshata, unokubazisa abantwana bakho indlela eyakuvuyisa ngayo loo nto. Omnye utat’ omkhulu ukhumbula usuku, phantse kwiminyaka engama-60 eyadlulayo, xa uyise wamxelela uvuyo ekwakululo ukutshata, esazi ukuba akazange abandakanyeke kuyo nayiphi na ihambo yokuziphatha okubi ebinokukhunjulwa ize yonakalise umtshato wakhe. Loo ncoko yayiphembelela ngamandla indlela lo tat’ omkhulu awabuphila ngayo ubomi bakhe, yaye ukholelwa kwelokuba umzekelo wakhe uye wabuchaphazela ngamandla ubomi babantwana bakhe.
Noko ke, ukuba abantwana bakho bayazi ukuba ubomi bakho bangaphambili babungengomzekelo, ufanele uqiniseke ukuba bayasazi isizathu esabangela ukuba uguquke. Asikuko ukuba ukhulile kunakuqala kodwa kukuba ufumene imilinganiselo ephakame ngakumbi onokuphila ngayo.
Ukuphulaphula Ngenyameko
Ngokufuthi abazali abaphumelelayo bagqabaza ngobungakanani bexesha abalichitha bephulaphule abantwana babo. Bayayazi into eyenzekayo kubomi babantwana babo. UKaren wenza umgudu okhethekileyo wokusebenza kwigumbi lokuphekela ngamaxesha asemva kwemini. Ngale ndlela, xa iintombi zakhe zifika ekhaya, zazinokuthetha naye ngoko kwenzekileyo esikolweni ebudeni bemini.
UErline wayedla ngokulinda iintombi zakhe xa zifika ekhaya ebusuku aze aziphulaphule xa zibalisa izinto ezazizenzile. Wathi: “Ukuba into ethile yayifuna ukulungiswa, ndandinokuyinyamekela kamva. Kodwa ndandingenakuze ndiyazi ukuba ndandingaphulaphulanga.” Walugcina luvulekile olu nxibelelwano ukutyhubela iminyaka yokufunda kweentombi zakhe nokutyhubela ixesha lokuthandana kwazo ngaphambi komtshato. Ixesha elinjalo olichithe nabantwana bakho linokuthintela iintlungu ezininzi kamva.
Kodwa kuthekani ukuba abantwana bakho abathethi kakhulu? Ukuba abathethi kakhulu, unokuzibuza, ‘Ngaba bathule ngokwemvelo, okanye ngaba bayoyika ukundichazela imicimbi ngenxa yendlela endasabela ngayo kwixa elidluleyo? Ngaba ndinokwakha intembelo yabo kwakhona ngokwenza imigudu ekhethekileyo ngoku yokubabonisa ukuba ndinomdla kubo? Ngaba ndinokwenza kube lula ngakumbi ngabo ukuba bazise izinto ezincinane ngoku baze mhlawumbi bazise ezinzulu ngakumbi kamva?’
Izilumkiso Ezibalulekileyo
Abantwana bakho bafanele balunyukiswe ngemiphumo yokuziphatha okubi. Ngokomzekelo, bafanele bazi ukuba phezu kwako konke oko bakuvayo okwahlukileyo, ayikho indlela yokuthintela ukukhawula esebenza ngokupheleleyo. Ngokufuthi ukumitha okungafunwayo nezifo ezidluliselwa ngeentlobano zesini zibakho nokuba kusetyenziswa iindlela zokuthintela ukukhawula. Ngokutsho kwentlangano iPlanned Parenthood, iicondoms ziyoyisakala ukuthintela ukumitha kangange-12 ekhulwini, yaye zisenokoyisakala ngakumbi ekuthinteleni ukwasulelwa yintsholongwane kaGawulayo.
Abantu abaselula abaninzi babonakala beyisekile kukuba abasoze behlelwe yintlekele. Noko ke, izifo ezidluliselwa ngeentlobano zesini, kuquka uGawulayo, zinokusasazwa ngabantu abangekabi nazimpawu zazo okwangoku nabangaziyo ukuba basulela abanye. Izifo ezinjalo ezininzi ezithwaxa abantu abaselula namhlanje zinokubangela ubudlolo, ukuzalwa kwabantwana abaneziphene, umhlaza kwanokufa.
Ngokomzekelo, abantu baseMerika abazizigidi ezingama-40 ngoku kukholelwa ukuba banesifo esinye kwezi zifo, ukuba namadyungudyungu kumalungu esini, isifo esinganyangekiyo. Oomama abanaso banokusidlulisela kwiintsana zabo. Aba bantwana bangenatyala basenokulimala engqondweni, imithambo-luvo yabo yonakale ngokusisigxina, okanye bafe ngenxa yokutyhefeka kanobom kwamalungu abo angaphakathi. Onjani wona umphumo ukuba yintlekele obangelwe ngamaxesha ambalwa ebekulindelwe uyolo kuwo!
Isini esingafanelekanga nekudluliselwa ngaso esi sifo sisenokuba besingelulo noyolo. Omnye umphengululi owabuza abantu abaselula abaninzi wathi “kumabhinqa, inani labo babe neentlobano [zesini] kwiminyaka yeshumi elivisayo ezazingabayolisi liliphinda kabini elabo zazibayolisa.” Abazali bafanele bagxininise kubantwana babo ukuba isini—indlela emangalisayo uMdali wethu awayenenjongo yokuba ngayo umhlaba wethu omhle ube nabemi—asifanele siqaliswe ngokufihlakeleyo ngaphandle kweqhina lomtshato.
Imfundo Abayifuna Ngokukhethekileyo
Abantwana bakho bafanele bazi ukuba ekuphela kwendlela eqinisekileyo yokuphepha iingxaki ezibangelwa ziintlobano zesini ngaphambi komtshato kukwamkela imigaqo esebenze kangangexesha elide eyamiselwa nguThixo. Yiyiphi loo migaqo? Ukungabi nantlobano zasini de utshate, uze uhlale unyanisekile ubomi bakho bonke kuloo mntu mnye umthandayo, nongazange, kwimeko efanayo, abe nalo elinye iqabane lesini.
Noko ke, isizathu esiyintloko sokuphepha ukuziphatha okubi asikokuba kubangela iingxaki kodwa sikukuba uMdali wethu uthi kuphosakele. IBhayibhile iyabongoza: ‘Khumkani kulo uhenyuzo.’ “Wubalekeni umbulo.” Ngoba? Ngenxa yokuba, abo baqhubeka besenza izinto ezinjalo “abayi kubudla lifa ubukumkani bukaThixo.”—1 Tesalonika 4:3; 1 Korinte 6:9, 10, 18.
Ukulandela imigaqo emiselwe nguThixo kukhokelela kubomi obonwabisayo nobanelisa ngakumbi. Kusikhusela kwizifo ezidluliselwa ngeentlobano zesini, ekumitheni okungafunwayo, kwiingxaki zeentsapho ezinomzali omnye, nakwintlungu yokulahlwa ngabantu abasisebenzisa ukwanelisa iinjongo zabo zokuzingca.
Kangangeminyaka engaphezu kwama-2 500, amazwi abhalwa ngumprofeti kaThixo wamandulo angqineke eyinyaniso: “Mna Yehova, Thixo wakho, ndingokufundisa okungakuncedayo, ndikunyathelise ngendlela oya kuhamba ngayo. Akwaba imithetho yam ubuyibazele indlebe! Beluya kuba njengomlambo uxolo lwakho, nobulungisa bakho bube njengamaza olwandle.”—Isaya 48:17, 18.
Kodwa le migaqo yokuziphatha inokusebenza njani kuqheliselo lwala maxesha lokwenza amadinga? Loo mbuzo uphendulwa kwinqaku elilandelayo.