Amacebiso Aluncedo Kubazali Bomtshato Wesibini
ISEBE Lobalo-bantu LaseUnited States lithelekelela ukuba ngowe-1995 inani leentsapho zomtshato wesibini liya kuba ngaphezu kweleentsapho zomtshato wokuqala. Ngelo xesha, abantwana abangama-59 kwabali-100 baya kuhlala “kwiintsapho ezixubeneyo” (iintsapho ezinomzali womtshato wesibini) ngaphambi kokuba bafikelele kwiminyaka eli-18 ubudala. La alandelayo ngamacebiso nje ambalwa okunceda inani elandayo labazali bomtshato wesibini.
Vumela Ixesha: Abazali bomtshato wesibini bafanele bakhumbule ukuba kuthabatha ixesha ngabantwana bomtshato wesibini ukwamkela umzali omtsha. Ingcali ngempilo yengqondo uMavis Hetherington ucacisa isizathu sokuba iinyanga ezimbalwa zokuqala—okanye iminyaka—inokuba yeyona inzima esithi: “Kwiintsuku zokuqala zomtshato wesibini, oonyana neentombi baba nentiyo, ingqumbo, inkcaso nomsindo kungekuphela nje kuyise womtshato wesibini kodwa nakunina. Iyabacaphukisa into yokuba . . . unina aphinde atshate okwesibini.” Abazali bomtshato wesibini bamele bazame ukuziqonda iimvakalelo zabantwana, ngoxa oko kusenokuba lucelomngeni kubo.—Bona IMizekeliso 19:11.
Kuqala Yakha Ulwalamano Olulungileyo: Kwincwadi yakhe ethi Stepfamilies, uJoy Conolly, ngobulumko ucebisa ukuba abazali bomtshato wesibini baya kukufanelekela ngakumbi ukulungisa isimilo sabantwana babo bomtshato wesibini emva kokwakha ulwalamano olulungileyo kunye nabo. Ebudeni belo thuba, kusenokuba yeyona nto ilungileyo ngomzali wokwemvelo ukunyamekela uqeqesho olufunekayo. (Thelekisa IMizekeliso 27:6.) Kwelinye icala, abazali bomtshato wesibini banokubenza abantwana babo baqiniseke ukuba izinto zisahamba ngokwesiqhelo ngokuzixhasa izinto ababefudula bezenza yaye bezinandipha—ezinjengokuhamba imigama emide okanye ukudlala imidlalo ethile kunye. Noko ke, ootata bomtshato wesibini abafanele basebenzise amathuba esidlo njengezihlandlo zokululeka intsapho.
Kuphephe Ukukhetha Ubuso: Ukuba kunokwenzeka, utata okanye umama womtshato wesibini ufanele aphephe nayiphi na imbonakaliso yokuba ngokhethayo ebantwaneni bakhe bokwemvelo, nangona oku kusenokuba nzima ngamathuba athile.—Thelekisa amaRoma 2:11.
Yakha Ulwalamano Olusondeleyo Ngobulumko: Kuhlolisiso lwakutshanje olwenziwe kwiintsapho zomtshato wesibini kufunyaniswe ukuba ngokufuthi kunzima ngokukhethekileyo ngootata neentombi zomtshato wesibini ukuba baginyane. Omnye umbhali ukubeka ngolu hlobo: “Ootata bomtshato wesibini bazama ukuncokola, yaye amantombazana ayazibamba. Ootata bomtshato wesibini bazama ukunikela uqeqesho, yaye amantombazana ayaluchasa.” Lo mbhali ushwankathela ngelithi: “Kunyaka wokuqala, kubonakala ngathi akukho nto inokwenziwa ngutata womtshato wesibini, iphumelelayo kubantwana abangamantombazana.” Ngaloo ndlela, kufuneka umonde nolwazelelelo olukhulu. Nangona amantombazana ewaxabisa amazwi okuncoma avela kuyise womtshato wesibini, ngokufuthi aziva engonwatyiswa kukubonakaliswa kothando ngezimbo zomzimba ezinjengokwanga. Utata womtshato wesibini ufanele aqonde ukuba intombazana isenokuvakalelwa ngale ndlela. Ukuba ivakalelwa njalo, utata womtshato wesibini ufanele agxininise ngakumbi ekuncomeni ngamazwi nasekuncokoleni kuneembonakaliso zothando ezingokwasemzimbeni.—Thelekisa IMizekeliso 25:11.
Kulumkele Ukuba Nomona: Amava abonisa ukuba uninzi lwamantombazana omtshato wesibini lunotyekelo lokumjonga umama womtshato wesibini njengokhuphisana nawo. Umama womtshato wesibini ozibona izinto kwangaphambili nonolwazelelelo ngeemvakalelo zentombi yakhe ngobulumko usenokuzithintela iingxabano ezingenamsebenzi. Utata unokwenza okuninzi ukuze aphelise ixhala ngokuphinda ayiqinisekise intombi yakhe ngothando nangoxabiso asenalo ngayo. (IMizekeliso 15:1) Abaphengululi bacebisa ukuba oomama bomtshato wesibini ngokufuthi bazame ngamandla nangokukhawuleza okukhulu ukuba ngabazali bokwenene kubantwana babo bomtshato wesibini. Kwakhona, ukuba nomonde ngundoqo.
Ukuba ngumzali womtshato wesibini akuyondlwan’ iyanetha. Kodwa kunokwenzeka, njengoko amawaka emizekelo ephumeleleyo ebonisa. Yaye khumbula, iBhayibhile inikela icebiso elihle ngakumbi xa isithi: “Yalekani uthando, oluyintambo yogqibelelo.”—Kolose 3:14.