Imbono YeBhayibhile

Xa Ukungatshati Kusisiphiwo

‘NDINESITHUKUTHEZI,’ likhalaza lisitsho elinye ibhinqa elingumKristu ebelingumhlolokazi kangangeminyaka emininzi. ‘Bendinethemba lokufumana iqabane. Ukuzigcina ndixakekile kuyandinceda. Ukuba nabahlobo kuyanceda. Kodwa ndifuna ukutshata.’

Xa ngokunyanisekileyo unqwenela ukutshata kodwa iphulo lakho lokufuna iqabane lingaphumeleli, ukungatshati akubonakali kusisiphiwo—kunokuvakala ngokungathi uphoswe kwisisele seemvakalelo ezilandulayo ezikushiya udiniwe yaye udandathekile. Okanye ukuba awutshatanga kodwa sele unentsapho, usenokuba nembopheleleko yokuhlangabezana nazo zonke iimfuno zabantwana bakho.

Ngoko ke, usenokungakuboni kusisiphiwo ukungatshati. Noko ke, bambi bakugqala ukungatshati njengento exabiseke kakhulu, ibe bakhetha ukuzihlalela bodwa. Ngoko ngaba ukungatshati kusisiphiwo, ibe ukuba kunjalo, nini yaye ngoba? Ithini iBhayibhile?

Ngaba Kungumqobo Kwindlela Esa Elonwabeni?

Umtshato usenokuba ngumthombo wolonwabo olukhulu. (IMizekeliso 5:18, 19) Abanye “beyisekile kwelokuba umtshato ukuphela kwendlela esa elonwabeni nakulwaneliseko,” igqabaza isitsho iLos Angeles Times. Ngaba isatifiketi somtshato sikukuphela “kwesiqinisekiso” solonwabo?

Esinye isazi ngezigulo zengqondo, uRuth Luban, ngokutsho kweLos Angeles Times, sithi: “Amabhinqa [namadoda] aya kumangaliswa lulwaneliseko anokulufumana xa enokuyeka ukuzilibazisa enethemba lokuba indoda [okanye ibhinqa] elithile liya kuwahlangula kubomi babo bokungatshati.” Ewe, ukungatshati asiyonto engaba ngumqobo kubomi obonwabisayo, nobanelisayo. Abantu abaninzi abaqhawule umtshato baya kukuxelela ukuba umtshato awuthi ngokuzenzekelayo ube yindlela esa elonwabeni. Ulonwabo lokwenyaniso lungumphumo wolwalamano oluhle noThixo. Ngaloo ndlela, umKristu unokonwaba enoba utshatile okanye akatshatanga.—INdumiso 84:12; 119:1, 2.

Ngaphezu kwako nje ukukhankanya imiqobo yangabom, uMarie Edwards noEleanor Hoover, kwincwadi yabo ethi The Challenge of Being Single, bavelisa omnye umqobo onokubakho kwindlela esa elonwabeni—ingcinezelo yasekuhlaleni. Bathi “ukuba akutshatanga uthatyathwa ngokungathi akumanga kakuhle ngokunzulu ngokweemvakalelo. . . . Ngokuqinisekileyo, kukho into engalunganga ngawe.”

Kwanabahlobo abalungileyo basenokuthi bengaqondanga babangele ingcinezelo enkulu kubantu abangatshatanga ngokuzingisa bebabuza oku: ‘Uza kutshata nini?’ okanye, ‘Kwenzeka njani ukuba indoda eyinzwana njengawe ibe ayikamfumani umfazi nangoku?’ Nangona amazwi afana nala esenokuthethwa kuqhulwa, asenokuhlaba ‘njengokuhlaba kwekrele,’ ephumela ekubeni abangele iimvakalelo ezibuhlungu nokuphoxeka.—IMizekeliso 12:18.

Isiphiwo Somntu Ngamnye

Umpostile uPawulos wayengatshatanga ngexesha wayehamba njengomvangeli wasemazweni. Ngaba kwakungenxa yokuba wayewuchasile umtshato? Akunjalo. Umpostile uPawulos wayengatshatanga kuba wakhetha ukungatshati “ngenxa yeendaba ezilungileyo.”—1 Korinte 7:7; 9:23.

UPawulos wayenawo amandla okuwuphepha umtshato, sekunjalo waqonda ukuba abayi kufana naye bonke abantu. Wathi: “Elowo unesakhe isipho, asibabalwe nguThixo; omnye uba naso ngokunje, omnye ngokunjeya.”—1 Korinte 7:7.

Ukungatshati kunokuba yindlela esa elonwabeni, nakubeni isenokungabi yileyo ubuzimisele ukuyihamba. Ngokuqinisekileyo, umtshato uqukwa phakathi kwezipho ezininzi ezivela kuYehova. Kodwa iBhayibhile ibonisa ukuba ukungatshati nako kusenokuba “sisipho”—ukuba unako ‘kuvulele ithuba.’ (Mateyu 19:11, 12, NW; 1 Korinte 7:36-39) Ngoko ke, ziziphi ezinye iingenelo zokungatshati?

UPawulos wathi izibini ezitshatileyo zixhalele “ukukholisa” amaqabane azo, ngoxa abangatshatanga ‘bexhalela izinto zeNkosi.’ Oku kugxininisa enye yezona ngenelo zibalaseleyo zokungatshati—ithuba lokukhonza uYehova ‘bengaphazanyiswa.’—1 Korinte 7:32-35, thelekisa iTE.

IBhayibhile ayithi umntu ongatshatanga uphila ngaphandle kweziphazamiso ngokupheleleyo. Noko ke, umntu ohlala yedwa, ubukhulu becala uba neziphazamiso ezimbalwa kunalowo unyamekela intsapho, ekubeni inguye yedwa amele acinge ngaye xa esenza isigqibo. Ngokomzekelo, xa uThixo walathisa uAbraham ukuba ashiye iHaran aze afudukele kwilizwe laseKanan, iBhayibhile ithi: “UAbram wathabatha uSarayi umkakhe, noLote unyana womninawa wakhe, nengqwebo yabo yonke ababeyiqwebile, nabantu ababebafumene kwelakwaHaran; baphuma ke.” (Genesis 12:5) Nangona imeko yentsapho ka-Abraham ingazange imthintele, alithandabuzeki elokuba wachitha ixesha elininzi elungiselela intsapho yakhe olo thumo.

Thelekisa uhambo luka-Abraham kunye nolo lompostile uPawulos. Ngoxa uPawulos noSilas babeshumayela iindaba ezilungileyo kwisixeko saseTesalonika, ihlokondiba elinomsindo lahlanganisana lize kubahlasela. Kwangobo busuku bunye, abazalwana babandulula ngokukhawuleza uPawulos noSilas besiya eBhereya. Ngesinye isihlandlo, eseTrowa, uPawulos wabona umbono owawusithi: “Wela uze kwelaseMakedoni, [ubasize].” Ngokukhawuleza emva kokuba ewubonile loo mbono, waya kwelaseMakedoni. Ngokucacileyo, ukungabi namfazi kukaPawulos kwamnika inkululeko engakumbi yokuhamba ngexeshana elifutshane, nto leyo engeyaba nzima kakhulu ukuba wayenentsapho.—IZenzo 16:8-10; 17:1-15.

Enye ingenelo yokungatshati yinkululeko eyongezelelekileyo yokuzenzela ukhetho. Xa uhlala wedwa, ukugqiba ukuba mawuhlale phi, mawutye ntoni yaye nini, okanye kwanokuba liliphi ixesha lokulala ngokuqhelekileyo kuba lula. Le nkululeko iye inwenwele kwanakwimisebenzi yokomoya. Kukho ixesha elininzi lokuxakeka ngesifundo sobuqu seLizwi likaThixo, ukuba nesabelo kubulungiseleli basesidlangalaleni nokusebenzisa amathuba okuba luncedo kwabanye abantu.

Ngoko ke, enoba akutshatanga ngenxa yokhetho okanye ngenxa yeemeko, zimisele ukulisebenzisa ngobulumko ixesha lakho. Uya kuba nobomi obonwabisa ngakumbi xa ixesha onalo kuba ungatshatanga ulichitha unceda abanye. (IZenzo 20:35) Ukuba unqwenela umtshato, musa ukuzibandeza uneemvakalelo ezilandulayo okanye uphile ubomi bakho ngokungathi akuphelelanga ngenxa yokuba loo ‘mntu ukhethekileyo’ engekaveli. Zigcine uxakekile kwinkonzo kaThixo, kwaye njengoko uPawulos watshoyo, usenokufumanisa ukuba ukungatshati kunokuba sisiphiwo.