Ukuthuthuzela Abantu Abasekhukweni Lokufa

“Ukuqala kwam ukuva ukuba uMama wayegulel’ ukufa andizange ndikholelwe. Ndandimi nematha ndingakwazi ukuyamkela into yokuba uMama wam othandekayo uza kumnabel’ uqaqaqa.”—UGrace, waseKhanada.

XA ISALAMANE esithandekayo sinesifo esinganyangekiyo, intsapho nabahlobo bayadandatheka bengazi ukuba mabathini. Abanye basenokungazi nokuba mabasixelele isigulana yonke into ngemeko yaso. Abanye badla ngokungazi enoba baza kukwazi na ukumelana nokubona umntu abamthandayo ebandezeleka aze aphulukane nesidima sakhe ngenxa yesigulo esimbambileyo. Abaninzi baxhalatyiswa kukungazi ukuba yintoni abamele bayithethe okanye bayenze xa umntu sele eza kufa.

Yintoni omele uyazi ngendlela omele usabele ngayo kwintlungu elolo hlobo? Unokuba lilo njani “ iqabane lokwenyaniso” elikwaziyo ukuthuthuzela nokuxhasa ngexesha lokubandezeleka?—IMizekeliso 17:17.

Indlela Eqhelekileyo Umntu Asabela Ngayo

Kungokwemvelo ukudandatheka xa umntu omthandayo ehlaselwa kukugula. Kwanoogqirha nangona besoloko bebabona abantu abafayo badla ngokukhathazeka baze batyhafe xa bebona abantu abanezigulo ezinganyangekiyo bebandezelekile emzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo.

Nawe usenokungakwazi ukulawula iimvakalelo zakho xa ubona umntu omthandayo ebandezelekile. UHosa ohlal’ eBrazil, udadewabo owayegulel’ ukufa uthi: “Ngamava abuhlungu ukubona umntu omthandayo egcuma ziintlungu.” Indoda ethembekileyo uMoses xa yabona udade wayo eneqhenqa yakhala yathi: “Owu Thixo, khawuncede! Nceda, mphilise!”—Numeri 12:12, 13.

Siyadandatheka xa sibona umntu esimthandayo egula kuba senziwe ngomfanekiso kaYehova uThixo onovelwano. (Genesis 1:27; Isaya 63:9) UYehova uvakalelwa njani ngokubandezeleka kwabantu? Phawula indlela uYesu asabela ngayo. Wabubonakalisa ngendlela egqibeleleyo ubuntu bukaYise. (Yohane 14:9) Xa uYesu ebona abantu abagulayo ‘wayesiba nosizi.’ (Mateyu 20:29-34; Marko 1:40, 41) Njengoko besisele sitshilo kwinqaku elandulela eli, xa uYesu wabona indlela ukufa komhlobo wakhe uLazaro okwayichaphazela ngayo intsapho yakhe wagcuma emoyeni “zathi waxa iinyembezi.” (Yohane 11:32-35) IBhayibhile ithi ukufa lutshaba yaye ithembisa ukuba kungentsuku zatywala ukugula nokufa kuza kuphela.—1 Korinte 15:26; ISityhilelo 21:3, 4.

Kuyaqondakala ukuba xa usiva iindaba ezibuhlungu zokuba umntu omthandayo ugulel’ ukufa usenokufuna ukugxeka omnye umntu. Noko ke, uGqr. Marta Ortiz owabhala inqaku ngokunyamekela umntu ogula kakhulu unikela eli cebiso: “Kuphephe ukugxeka abanye—njengoogqirha, abongikazi okanye wena ngemeko yesigulana. Lo nto yenza ulwalamano lungabi luhle ize ithabathe ingqalelo kweyona nto imele yenziwe: ukunyanyekelwa kweentswelo zesigulana.” Yintoni onokuyenza ukuze uncede isigulana ukuba siyamkele imeko yokugula nokufa okunokulandela?

Yiba Nomdla Kuye Ungaphazanyiswa Kukugula Kwakhe

Okokuqala, xa ujonga isigulana bona umntu kungekhona isifo agula siso. Unokukwenza njani oko. USarah ongumongikazi uthi: “Ndiye ndiziphe ixesha ndize ndibuke iifoto zesigulana xa sasisengumqabaqaba. Ndiye ndisiphulaphule ngenyameko njengoko sindibalisela ngobomi baso. Oku kuyandinceda ndazi indlela esasiphila ngayo kungekhona imeko esikuyo ngoku.”

UAnne-Catherine naye ongumongikazi uchaza indlela enza ngayo ukuze abone ngaphaya kwemeko yesigulana. Uthi: “Ndiye ndisijonge ntshoo emehlweni ndize ndicinge ngento endinokuyenza ukuze sifumane umnyinyiva.” Incwadi ethi The Needs of the Dying—A Guide for Bringing Hope, Comfort, and Love to Life’s Final Chapter ethi: “Kungokwemvelo ukuba buhlungu nokungonwabi xa ubona umntu omthandayo egula okanye efumene ingozi. Into onokuyenza kwimeko elolo hlobo kukusithi ntshoo emehlweni.”

Ewe, ukwenza oko kufuna ukwazi ukuzibamba uze uzimisele. UGeorges ongumveleli ongumKristu odla ngokutyelela izigulana ezisekhukweni lokufa uthi: “Simele sibathande kakhulu abazalwana bethu singanikeli ngqalelo kwizigulo zabo.” Ukuba wenjenjalo unceda wena kwakunye naye. UYvonne obesonga abantwana abanomhlaza uthi: “Ukwazi ukuba unokusinceda isigulana sihlale sinesidima kukwenza ukwazi ukusinyamekela.”

Kulungele Ukuphulaphula

Abantu basenokungafuni ukumchukumisa umntu ofayo nangona bemthanda. Ngoba? Bakhathazwa kukuba bengazi ukuba baza kuthini. UAnne-Catherine obesandul’ ukonga umhlobo wakhe obegulela ukufa uthi ukuthula kunexesha lako. Uhlabela mgama esithi: “Abantu asibathuthuzeli ngamazwi kodwa nangesimo sengqondo sethu. Ukuhlala esitulweni ecaleni kwakhe, ukumbamba ngesandla nokungoyiki nokucuntsula kulento yabantwana xa ityhila indlela esivakalelwa ngayo—zonke ezi zinto zibonisa ukuba siyakhathala.”

Kaloku naso siyakufuna ukuzityand’ igila. Naso isigulana siyaqonda ukuba abahlobo baxhalabile size sikuphephe ukuthetha izinto ezintununtunu. Izihlobo namalungu entsapho ayakuphepha ukuncokola ngezinto eziza kukhathaza isigulana njengokufihla inkcazelo ebalulekileyo enokusinceda. Uyintoni umphumo wokufihla inkcazelo ephathelele isigulo sakhe? Omnye ugqirha onyanga izigulana ezisekhukweni lokufa uthi: “Ukufihlwa kwenkcazelo kusenokuvalela isigulana ukuba singakwazi ukubalisa ngesigulo saso nto leyo ebiza kusinceda sikwazi ukumelana naso.” Noko ke, ukuba isigulana siyafuna sifanele siyekwe sizityand’ igila ngemeko yaso okanye siyekwe sithethe nangokufa esijongene nako.

Kumaxesha amandulo abakhonzi bakaThixo xa beqonda ukuba basenokufa babedla ngokuphalaza imbilini yabo kuYehova uThixo. Ngokomzekelo, uKumkani uHezekiya owayeneminyaka engama-39 ubudala xa wafumanisa ukuba wayeza kufa wayichazela uYehova intlungu yakhe. (Isaya 38:9-12, 18-20) Ngendlela efanayo abantu abasekhukweni lokufa bafanele bavunyelwe bazityand’ igila xa bebona ukuba basongelwa kukufa. Mhlawumbi badandathekile kuba usukelo ebebezibekele lona njengokukhenketha, ukuba nentsapho, ukubona abazukulwana bekhula okanye ukukhonza uYehova ngokuzele ngakumbi abasenakulufikelela. Mhlawumbi bayoyika kuba abahlobo namalungu entsapho aza kuchasela kuba engazi ukuba aza kumphatha njani. (Yobhi 19:16-18) Ukoyika ukubandezeleka, ukungasebenzi kakuhle kwamalungu omzimba okanye ukufa ungenabani kusenokubenza babe nomvandedwa.

UAnne-Catherine uthi: “Kubalulekile ukuba umhlobo wakho umvumele aphalaze imbilini yakhe ungamphazamisi okanye umenze avakalelwe kukuba uyamgweba. Yeyona ndlela yokwazi indlela avakalelwa ngayo nokuqonda iminqweno, izinto ezimoyikisayo nezinto akhangele phambili kuzo.”

Ukuqonda Amalungelo Esigulana

Intlungu yomhlobo wakho mhlawumbi isenokwenziwa mandundu luhlobo lonyango aye walufumana, lusenokuphazamisa kakhulu de ulibale nelungelo lakhe lokuzikhethela.

Kwezinye iinkcubeko, intsapho isenokuzama ukukhusela isigulana ngokusifihlela imeko yempilo yaso ukusa kwinqanaba lokuba singakwazi ukwenza isigqibo ngohlobo lonyango olusifunayo. Ukanti kwezinye, kusenokubakho ingxaki eyahlukileyo. Ngokomzekelo, uJerry ongumongi, uthi: “Maxa wambi abantu abaze kubona isigulana badla ngokuthetha ngaso ngokungathi asikho.” Kuzo zombini ezi meko isigulana asiphathwa ngesidima.

Ithemba yenye into ebalulekileyo. Kumazwe anonyango olukumgangatho ophezulu, ithemba linxityelelaniswa nokufumana unyango oluphucukileyo. UMichelle onoMama owahlaselwa sisifo somhlaza kangangezihlandlo ezithathu uthi: “Ukuba uMama ufuna ukuzama olunye uhlobo lonyango okanye omnye ugqirha oyingcungela ndiye ndimncedise xa ephanda. Ngoku ndiyaqonda ukuba ndifanele ndizibone izinto ngendlela eziyiyo kodwa kwangaxeshanye ndithethe amazwi akhuthazayo.”

Kuthekani ukuba alikho ithemba lokunyangwa kwesigulo? Khumbula ukuba isigulana esigulela ukufa kufanele kuthethwe naso ngokuphandle ngokufa. UGeorges ongumveleli ongumKristu okhankanywe ngaphambilana uthi: “Kubalulekile ukumchazela umntu xa kubonakala ukuba uza kufa. Oku kuyamnceda alungise izinto amele azilungise aze alungele ukufa.” Ukwenjenjalo kunokumenza azive efeze yonke into ebefuna ukuyenza ngaphambi kokuba afe.

Kakade ke, akulula ukuthetha ngezinto ezifana nezi. Kodwa ukuthetha ngokuphandle ngolo hlobo kukunika ithuba lokuzityand’ igila. Umntu osekhukweni lokufa usenokufuna ukwenza ibuya-mbo, achaze izinto ezimkhathazayo okanye acele ukuxolelwa. Ukulungisa izinto ezinjalo kunokwenza ube nolwalamano olunzulu nalo mntu ofayo.

Ukuthuthuzela Umntu Osecicini Lokufa

Unokumthuthuzela njani umntu osecicini lokufa? UGqr. Ortiz, obekhankanywe ngaphambilana uthi: “Sivumele isigulana sicele nantoni na yokugqibela esiyifunayo. Phulaphula ngenyameko. Ukuba kunokwenzeka zama ukuyenza loo nto siyicelayo. Ukuba akunakukwazi ukusenzela loo nto siyicelayo sichazele.”

Ngelo xesha isigulana sisenokufuna ukuba kunye nezihlobo nezalamane. UGeorges uthi: “Sincede sinxibelelane nezalamane zaso nokuba incoko iza kuba mfutshane kuba singasenamxhino.” Nokuba uza kunxibelelana nazo ngomnxeba baza kukwazi ukukhuthazana baze bathandaze kunye. UChristina waseKhanada owafelwa zizihlobo zakhe ezithathu zilandelelana ukhumbula ukuba: “Xa zazisele ziza kufa zazixhomekeke ngakumbi kwimithandazo yamanye amaKristu.”

Ngaba ufanele ukoyike ukulila phambi kwesigulana? Akunjalo. Ukuba uyalila unika naso ithuba lokuba sikuthuthuzele. Incwadi ethi The Needs of the Dying ithi, kubaluleke gqitha ukuthuthuzelwa sisigulana esisekhukweni lokufa ekusenokwenzeka ukuba sibaluleke gqitha kuwe. Xa isigulana sithuthuzela abanye sifumana ithuba lokuphumeza indima yaso njengomhlobo, utata okanye umama.

Kuyaqondakala ukuba iimeko zisenokungakuvumeli ukuba ube kunye nesihlobo sakho xa sele siza kufa. Noko ke, ukuba sisesibhedlele okanye sisekhaya sibambe ngesandla side sife. Kule mizuzu yokugqibela ungasixelela izinto obungakwazi ukusichazela zona. Musa ukudinyazwa kukungathethi uze ungasichazeli indlela osithanda ngayo nethemba lokusibona eluvukweni.—Yobhi 14:14, 15; IZenzo 24:15.

Ukuba uzisebenzisa kakuhle iintsuku zokugqibela kunye nesigulana awunakuze uzisole kamva. Le mizuzu isenokukuthuthuzela kwixesha elizayo. Uya kube uzingqine uliqabane lokwenyaniso ‘ngexesha lokubandezeleka.’—IMizekeliso 17:17.

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 27]

Simele sinikele ingqalelo kwisigulana kungekhona kwisigulo saso. Ukuba senjenjalo kuncedakala wena kwakunye naso

[Ibhokisi/Umfanekiso okwiphepha 29]

Indlela Yokuhlonela Isidima Sesigulana

Indlela Yokuhlonela Isidima Sesigulana Kumazwe amaninzi, kwenziwa imigudu yokugqala amalungelo ezigulana ezisekhukweni lokufa lokuba zife ziseluxolweni yaye zinesidima. Ukubhalwa komyolelo kwangaphambili kuluncedo ekuhloneleni la malungelo nto leyo eyenza isigulana sifele ekhaya okanye kumakhaya agcina izigulana ezisecicini lokufa.

Umyolelo uya kunceda kwezi nkalo zilandelayo:

• Unceda kubekho unxibelelwano oluhle phakathi koogqirha nezalamane

• Unceda intsapho kungafuneki yenze izigqibo

• Unciphisa indleko zezonyango eziza kubiza imali eninzi

Umyolelo uquka ezi zinto zilandelayo:

• Igama lomntu okwenzela isigqibo kwezonyango

• Unyango oya kulwamkela okanye ungalwamkeli xa imeko yakho isiba mandundu

• Ukuba kunokwenzeka igama logqirha olwaziyo uhlobo lonyango olukhethayo

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 26]

Nikel’ ingqalelo kwindlela esasiphila ngayo isigulana kungekhona imeko esikuyo ngoku.