Indlela Onokunceda Ngayo

“Abantwana abaxinezelekileyo bafuna uncedo. Kodwa abantwana abanakuzifumanela olo ncedo. Umntu osele ekhulile kufuneka ayiqonde le ngxaki aze ayithabathe nzulu. Inzima ke loo nto.”—UGqr. Mark S. Gold.

YINTONI onokuyenza xa urhanela ukuba umntwana wakho uxinezelekile? Okokuqala, musa ukufikelela kwisigqibo ngalo mba. Ngapha koko, kusenokwenzeka ukuba iimpawu anazo zezenye nje into.a Ukongezelela, lonke ulutsha lukhe lube namaxesha okucaphuka. Kodwa ukuba le meko iqhubeka ikho yaye uyaqhubeka eneenzingo, kusenokuba yeyona nto ilungileyo ukudibana nogqirha. Kule nkalo ufanele ukhumbule la mazwi kaYesu: “Kubantu abasempilweni akufuneki gqirha, kodwa kwabagulayo uyafuneka.”—Mateyu 9:12.

Ngokuphandle nje xelela ugqirha wakho nayiphi na inkcazelo enokuba luncedo onayo, kuquka utshintsho oluye lwenzeka kutshanje kubomi balo mntwana nolunokumenza adakumbe. Qiniseka ukuba ugqirha umnika ixesha elaneleyo lokuphulaphula kwezi mpawu ngaphambi kokuba aqalise ukuxilonga. UGqr. David G. Fassler ulumkisa ngelithi: “Akunakwenzeka ukuba ufumane yonke inkcazelo oyifunayo ukuze ufumanise into agula yiyo umntwana kwimizuzu nje engamashumi amabini.”

Ngokukhululekileyo buza kugqirha nayiphi na imibuzo osenokuba nayo. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba ugqirha ucinga ukuba umntwana wakho uxinezelekile, usenokubuza ukuba kutheni angalathi kwenye into. Ukuba uyayithandabuza into ayithethayo, mxelele ukuba ungathanda ukuya kusabela nakomnye ugqirha. Ngokuqinisekileyo akakho ugqirha onyanisekileyo onokungavumi ukuba wenze loo nto.

Ukuyamkela Le Meko

Ukuba umntwana wakho uxinezelekile, musa ukuba buhlungu gqitha yile meko. Inyaniso isekubeni nabona bantu baselula bathandekayo banokuthwaxwa luxinezeleko. IBhayibhile ibonisa ukuba, ukuba sentlungwini kuye kwathwaxa nabo benza unako nako wokukhonza uThixo, kungakhathaliseki ukuba badala kangakanani. Khawucinge nje ngoYobhi othembekileyo, owavakalelwa kukuba ulahliwe nguThixo yaye wavakalisa ukuzotheka bubomi. (Yobhi 10:1; 29:2, 4, 5) UHana wayengumkhonzi kaThixo owaba ‘nomphefumlo okrakra’ kangangokuba wayengatyi. (1 Samuweli 1:4-10) Kwakukho nendoda ethanda uThixo uYakobi, owazila kangangeentsuku ezininzi emva kokufa konyana wakhe kwaye ‘engavumi ukuthuthuzeleka.’ UYakobi wada wavakalisa umnqweno wokuya kulala nonyana wakhe emangcwabeni! (Genesis 37:33-35) Ngoko ukukhathazeka akusoloko kubangelwa kukungakhuli ngokomoya.

Noko ke, ukuxinezeleka komntwana kunokubahlungisa gqitha abazali. Umama womnye oselula oxinezelekileyo uthi: “Kufuneka ndisoloko ndiwabala amagama endiwathethayo. Ndixhalabile, ndiyoyika, ndinomsindo kwaye ndidiniwe.” Omnye uthi: “Xa ndibona umama ethenga nentombi yakhe eselula ndiba buhlungu gqitha kuba kaloku soze ndiyenze loo nto [kule yam intombi] yaye soze iphinde yenzeke.”

Kuqhelekile ukuvakalelwa ngolo hlobo. Noko ke, maxa wambi, zisenokuthanda ukukongamela. Ukuba kwenzeka loo nto, kutheni ungazityandi igila kumhlobo omthembileyo? IMizekeliso 17:17 ithi: “Iqabane lokwenyaniso lithanda ngamaxesha onke, yaye lingumzalwana ozalelwe ixesha lokubandezeleka.” Kwakhona, musa ukuwutyeshela umthandazo. IBhayibhile isiqinisekisa ukuba ukuba silahlela umthwalo wethu kuThixo, uya kusixhasa.—INdumiso 55:22.

Ukutyekela Ekuzibekeni Ityala

Abazali abaninzi bomlisela nomthinjana oxinezelekileyo badla ngokudimazeka gqitha baze bavakalelwe kukuba ngandlel’ ithile banetyala ngale meko. Omnye umzali uthi: “Xa umntwana wakho exinezelekile, uzibeka ityala yaye akakho umntu onokukuxelela enye into. Uhlala uzibuza ukuba, ‘Siyibhude xa kuphi? Izinto zitshintshe xa kuphi? Mna ndibe naliphi igalelo kule meko?’” Abazali banokuyilungelelanisa njani indlela abacinga ngayo ngokuphathelele lo mba?

Alithandabuzeki elokuba xa kungqwabalala ekhaya umntwana unokuchaphazeleka. Kungeso sizathu iBhayibhile iluleka oobawo ngelithi: “Musani ukubacaphukisa abantwana benu, ukuze bangadakumbi.” (Kolose 3:21) Ngenxa yoko, abazali bafanele bayiphonononge indlela abaqhubana ngayo nabantwana babo baze benze uhlengahlengiso xa kuyimfuneko. Kodwa uxinezeleko alusoloko lubangelwa kukungaqhubi kakuhle kwabazali. Enyanisweni, le ngxaki inokubakho nakwawona makhaya anothando. Kungenxa yoko, abazali abenza konke okusemandleni abo kungeyomfuneko ukuba bazibeke ityala.

Nalo uselula musa ukumbeka ityala. Ngapha koko, naye akakwazi kuyilawula ingxaki akuyo. Omnye umama uthi: “Andinakumbeka tyala ngokuba nerhashalala okanye inyumoniya.” Uvuma ngelithi: “Kodwa wathi akuba noxinezeleko ndenza kanye loo nto. Ndambeka ityala umntwana wam ngokugula kwakhe—nto leyo endenza buhlungu.” Ukugqala uxinezeleko njengesigulo kunokulujonga njengobuthathaka kuya kubanceda abazali nabanye banikele ingqalelo kwindlela abanokumnceda ngayo lo unale ngxaki.

Ukukhulisa umntwana onoxinezeleko kunokuluphazamisa ulwalamano phakathi kwabazali. Enye inkosikazi ithi: “Sasityholana, ingakumbi xa sicinga ngobomi esasibulindele nobomi esasibunandipha ngokuba kunye nonyana wethu.” UTim onentombi exinezelekileyo, uvuma ngelithi: “Kulula ukutyhola iqabane lakho. Ukuba abazali bebeneengxaki zomtshato ngaphambi kokuba lubonakale uxinezeleko lomntwana wabo, le meko ibuhlungu yomntwana wabo inokuba luswazi lokugqibela.” Musa ukuvumela uxinezeleko lomntwana wenu luvule uthanda kumtshato wenu! Enyanisweni, unam-nawe akancedi nto—enoba umenza kuwe, emntwaneni wakho, okanye kwiqabane lakho. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuxhasa umntu onengxaki.

Ukunikela Inkxaso

IBhayibhile iwaluleka ngelithi amaKristu: “Yithuthuzeleni imiphefumlo edandathekileyo.” (1 Tesalonika 5:14) Ukuba lo uselula uxinezelekileyo uziva engaxabisekanga, unokumnceda. Njani? Ngokuqinisekileyo ngokungahlabi madlala njengokuthi, “Akufanele uvakalelwe ngolo hlobo” okanye uthi, “Akunasimo sengqondo sihle.” Kunoko, zama ukuba ‘novelwano.’ (1 Petros 3:8) UPawulos waluleka amaKristu ukuba ‘alile nabantu abalilayo.’ (Roma 12:15) Khumbula, umntu oxinezeleke ngokwenene uba sentlungwini. Le ntlungu akayenzi ngokwakhe okanye kuba nje efuna ukuhoywa. Emva kokuphulaphula ngomonde, zama ukufumana oko kucingwa ngulo unengxaki. Buza isizathu sokuba acinge ngolo hlobo. Emva koko, mncede kakuhle lo uselula abone ukuba akafanele azive engaxabisekanga. Ukumqinisekisa ngokuba uThixo uyamthanda kunokunceda ekunciphiseni iinzingo zalo unengxaki.—1 Petros 5:6, 7.

Usenokuthabatha amanye amanyathelo. Ngokomzekelo, unokuqinisekisa ukuba umntwana wakho oxinezelekileyo uphumla ngokwaneleyo, utya kakuhle aze enze umthambo. (INtshumayeli 4:6) Ukuba uye wanikwa amayeza, kuya kuba bubulumko ukunceda lo uselula abone indlela ekubaluleke ngayo ukuwasebenzisa. Ungaze uyeke ukumxhasa, yaye ungaze uyeke ukubonisa uthando.

Kuyavunywa ukuba, ukuxinezeleka koselula kusenokuba buhlungu gqitha, kuye nakwintsapho iphela. Ekugqibeleni, umonde, unyamezelo nothando, ezo zinto ziya kuba sisiseko sokunceda umlisela nomthinjana oxinezelekileyo.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

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Umntu oxinezeleke ngokwenene uba sentlungwini. Le ntlungu akayenzi ngokwakhe

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UKUBA UNGOSELULA OXINEZELEKILEYO

Asinguwe wedwa, yaye akungoncanyelweni. Uxinezeleko lwakho lusenokubangelwa (1) kukungemi kakuhle kwemichiza okanye (2) iimeko zobomi ongenakwenza nto ngazo. Kuzo zombini ezi meko, ityala alinakubekwa kuwe ngemeko okuyo. Sekunjalo, yintoni onokuyenza ngaloo nto?

IBhayibhile ithi, “kukho umhlobo onamathela ngokusondele ngakumbi kunomntakwenu.” (IMizekeliso 18:24) Kutheni ungayi kuloo mhlobo uze uphalaze imbilini yakho kuye? Omnye wabazali bakho okanye omnye umntu oqolileyo unokukunceda gqitha ekulweni uxinezeleko.

Ukuba abazali bakho barhanela ukuba uxinezelekile, banokukuthumela kugqirha onamava ekulweni le ngxaki. Eli linyathelo lobulumko, kuba amaxesha amaninzi uxinezeleko lunokuncedwa lunyango, xa lukho. Ngokomzekelo, xa imichiza ingemanga kakuhle, unokunikwa isithomalalisi. Ukuba kuye kwafuneka ngolo hlobo nakuwe, musa ukoyika ukusebenzisa unyango. Lulungelelanisa indlela osebenza ngayo umzimba wakho, yaye oku kunokukunceda uphinde ufumane umlinganiselo wovuyo uze uzinze ebomini.

Abaninzi abaxinezelekileyo baye bathuthuzeleka ngokufunda iBhayibhile nangokusondela kuThixo ngomthandazo. Ithi iBhayibhile xa isiqinisekisa: “UYehova usondele kwabo baphuke intliziyo; yaye abo bamoya utyumkileyo uyabasindisa.”b—INdumiso 34:18.

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UNCEDO NETHEMBA KWABO BANALE NGXAKI

Ekubeni uxinezeleko lungumbandela ontsonkothileyo, iinkalo zalo azinakuhlolisiswa zonke kolu ngcelele lufutshane lwamanqaku. Noko ke, abapapashi bakaVukani! baqinisekile ukuba iingongoma ezivelelweyo zinokunceda umlisela nomthinjana nabazali bawo ukuba banyamezele le ngxaki ingcungcuthekisayo.

Usenokuba uphawule ukuba amacebiso amaninzi kumanqaku angaphambili asekelwe eBhayibhileni. Kuyavunywa ukuba yincwadi yakudala. Kodwa, isiluleko sayo sisasebenziseka nanamhlanje njengokuba sasinjalo ukubhalwa kwayo. Ngoba? Ngenxa yokuba nangona amaxesha etshintshile, abantu abatshintshanga. Sijamelene nemiba esisiseko ezazijamelene nayo izizukulwana ezingaphambili. Umahluko nje kukuba namhlanje ezi ngxaki zithe chatha yaye zichaphazela abona bantu baninzi.

Noko ke, kukho esinye isizathu esibangela ukuba iBhayibhile isebenziseke gqitha: Iphefumlelwe nguThixo. (2 Timoti 3:16) NjengoMdali wethu, uyakwazi oko sikufunayo ukuze sifumane lukhulu ebomini.

Kambe ke, iBhayibhile asiyoncwadi yezamayeza. Yiyo loo nto ingasithinteli ukuba sifune unyango olufanelekileyo kwizigulo, ezinjengoxinezeleko. Sekunjalo, iBhayibhile inemigaqo enokusinceda sithuthuzele abo banale ngxaki. Ngaphezu koko, inesithembiso sikaThixo sokuba kungekudala uya kuzinyanga zonke izifo. (INdumiso 103:3) Ewe, uYehova unenjongo ‘yokuvuselela intliziyo yabo batyumkileyo.’—Isaya 57:15.

Ngaba ungathanda ukufunda okungakumbi ngeli themba lizukileyo? Nceda uqhagamshelane namaNgqina kaYehova asekuhlaleni okanye ubhalele kwidilesi efanelekileyo kwiphepha 5 leli phephancwadi.

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Zama ukuba novelwano

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Ukuba lo uselula akayeki ukuxinezeleka, kububulumko ukudibana nogqirha

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Njengomzali, musa ukungxama ngokuzityhola, utyhole iqabane lakho, okanye umntwana wakho