Amahla-ndinyuka Okuba Ngumama

Ukuba ngumama kungumsebenzi onzima phofu ke ovuyisayo. Oomama banandipha izihlandlo ezikhethekileyo abangenakuthanda ukuphulukana nazo. Sekunjalo, maxa wambi bambi bavakalelwa kukuba baphelelwa ngamandla. UHelen uthelekisa ubomi bakhe njengomama nogqatso olunamahla-ndinyuka. Yaye kubonakala ngathi njengoko ixesha lihamba, olu gqatso luye lusiba nzima ngakumbi.

Oomama banokuncama ixesha ebebengathanda ukulichitha nabahlobo ukuze baqinisekise ukuba abantwana babo banyanyekelwa ngendlela eyiyo. UEsther, umama onabantwana abahlanu, uthi: “Kufuneka ndisoloko ndikho ngalo lonk’ ixesha. Andisakwazi ukuhlala ixesha elide emanzini ndiphumle xa ndihlamba, kunoko ndihlamba ngokugxabhagxabhisa, yaye ndincame amathuba ezidlo amyoli nomyeni wam ukuze nditye ukutya okuphekwe ngokukhawuleza. Andikwazi kukhenketha, ndibone iindawo ndize ndenze izinto endifuna ukuzenza. Kodwa ekuphela kwento endinexesha layo kukuhlamba iimpahla ndize ndizisonge!”

Kakade ke, inkoliso yoomama ingakuxelela ngezihlandlo ezikhethekileyo zovuyo ezinandiphayo ngoxa ikhulisa abantwana bayo. UEsther uthi: “Uncumo olubonayo ngamathub’ athile, amazwi amyoli okuthi ‘Ndiyabulela Mama’ nokwangiwa ngobubele—ezi zizinto ezibangela ukuba ungethi amandla.”a

Oomama Abasebenzayo

Olona celomngeni lwenza ukuba ngumama kube nzima kukuba oomama abaninzi banembopheleleko yentsapho engokwesithethe ngoxa kufuneka basebenze ukuze bancedise ekunyamekeleni intsapho ngokwemali. Oomama abaninzi abakule meko basebenza ngaphandle kwekhaya, ingekuba bathanda ukwenjenjalo, kodwa ngenxa yokuba banyanzelekile. Bayazi ukuba xa benokuhlala ekhaya, iintsapho zabo, ingakumbi abantwana babo, abasayi kuba nazo izinto ezininzi abazifunayo. Imivuzo yabo—ngokufuthi eba ngaphantsi kwaleyo yamadoda enza umsebenzi ofanayo—ibaluleke gqitha.

Ngokomzekelo, eSão Paulo, eBrazil, abantu abasebenzayo abangama-42 ekhulwini ngamabhinqa. Iphephandaba lalapho lathi “baya bephela” oomama abahlala ekhaya bakhulise abantwana. Kwiindawo ezisemaphandleni eAfrika, yinto eqhelekileyo ukubona umama ethwele inyanda ebeleke usana.

Iindawo Zempangelo Eziqobayo

Ukongezelela kolu celomngeni, umsebenzi wengqesho unokufuna ukuba oomama basebenze iiyure ezininzi. Yaye kusenokwenzeka ukuba kufuneke okungaphezulu kunoku. Xa uMaria, ohlala eGrisi, wafumana umsebenzi, umqeshi wakhe wamcela ukuba atyobele uxwebhu oluthile awayethembisa kulo ukuba akayi kukhulelwa de kudlule iminyaka emithathu. Ukuba kwenzekile akhulelwe, kwakuza kufuneka ahlawule imali yembuyekezo. UMaria walutyobela olu xwebhu. Kodwa kwathi nje emva konyaka onesiqingatha, wakhulelwa. Umqeshi wakhe wambonisa elo phepha, yaye uMaria waya kwinkundla yamatyala ngelizama ukuphikisa umgaqo wenkampani yakhe yaye ngoku ulindele isigqibo senkundla.

Kwiimeko ezingembi kangako, abaqeshi banokuzama ukunyanzela oomama ukuba babuyele emsebenzini ngokukhawuleza emva kokuba befumene umntwana. Ngokuqhelekileyo, emva kokuba bebuyile azincitshiswa iiyure abafanele bazisebenze. Ngoko akunikelwa ngqalelo kwinto yokuba ngoku banembopheleleko yokunyamekela usana oluncinane. Abanako ukuthabatha ixesha elide bengekho emsebenzini ngaphandle kokujamelana nobunzima bezoqoqosho. Kwakhona oomama kunokufuneka banyamezele ucelomngeni olubangelwa ziindawo zokunyamekela abantwana ezingekho mgangathweni noncedo lukarhulumente oluyimali encinane.

Kwelinye icala, oomama abathile bayasebenza, kungekhona ngenjongo yokufumana imali, kodwa ngenxa yokuba befuna ulwaneliseko. USandra wakhetha ukubuyela emsebenzini sihlandlo ngasinye emva kokuzalwa kwabantwana bakhe ababini. Ubalisa into yokuba ukuba kunye nosana kuphela ekhaya, ngamathuba athile kwakumenza “azibone sele emi ngasefestileni ecinga ngoko abanye abantu bakwenzayo ehlabathini.” Yaye abanye oomama badla ngokufuna ukubaleka uxinezeleko olubangelwa bubomi bentsapho ngokuya kusebenza. IDaily Telegraph yaseBritani yathi: “Abanye abazali bachitha ixesha elongezelelekileyo emsebenzini ukuze baphumze ingqondo. Le meko ilungisa enye ingxaki ngoxa idala enye, yenza ukuba libe lincinane ixesha abalichitha nabantwana babo abanemvukelo, abasoloko benengcwangu nabathanda ukwenza izinto ezitenxileyo.”

Ukulungelelanisa Izinto

Ukulungelelanisa umsebenzi nekhaya akuyondlwan’ iyanetha. Evakalisa indlela oomama abaninzi abavakalelwa ngayo, omnye umama waseNetherlands wathi: “Ndihlala ndidiniwe. Nokuba sele ndivuka, ndivuka ndidiniwe. Xa ndisuka emsebenzini ndibuyela ekhaya, ndifika ndidinwe ndiyimfe. Abantwana bade bathi ‘uMama usoloko ediniwe,’ yaye oko kundenza ndizive ndinetyala. Andifuni kungayi emsebenzini, kodwa kwangaxeshanye ndifuna ukuba ngumama okhoyo ekhaya owenza ukuba yonke into iphumelele. Kodwa andinguye lo mntu ugqibeleleyo ndifuna ukuba nguye.”

Ungomnye woomama abasebenzayo abazizigidi ababekholelwa kukuba ukuchitha ‘ixesha elisengqiqweni’ nabantwana babo kunokusivala isikhewu esibangelwa kukungabikho kwabo rhoqo—kodwa ufumanise ukuba oku akwanele. Namhlanje oomama abaninzi bathi ukulungelelanisa uxinezeleko lokusebenza neembopheleleko zasekhaya kubashiya bediniwe, bexinezelekile yaye akuyongenelo.

Xa amabhinqa echitha iiyure ezininzi ekude nabantwana bawo, abantwana abakufumani oko bakufunayo—ixesha nengqalelo kamama. UFernanda A. Lima, isazi ngengqondo yomntwana saseBrazil, uthi akakho umntu onokwenza umsebenzi kamama njengomama. Uthi: “Iminyaka emibini yokuqala ebomini bomntwana yeyona ibalulekileyo. Ngenxa yokuba umntwana usemncinane kakhulu yaye akanako ukusiqonda isizathu sokuba umama angabikho.” Umntu okhoyo endaweni kamama unokubangela ukuba umntwana angazixhalabisi kangako ngonina kodwa akasokuze athabathe indawo yakhe. Lo kaLima uthi: “Usana luya kuqonda ukuba alulufumani uthando olunenkathalo lukanina.”

UKathy, umama osebenzayo onentombi encinane, wathi: ‘Ndandiziva ndinetyala kakhulu, ngokungathi ndiyilahla [kwindawo yokugcina abantwana]. Kubuhlungu ukwazi ukuba uphoswa kukubona usana lwakho lukhula, yaye yinto engaqhelekanga ukwazi ukuba lusondelelene nabantu abakwindawo yokugcina abantwana kunokuba lunjalo kuwe.’ Elinye ibhinqa elisebenza kwisikhululo seenqwelo-moya eMexico lavuma lathi: “Emva kwethuba elithile, usana lwakho luye lungakwazi, lungakuhloneli nje ngenxa yokuba ungalukhulisi ngokwakho. Abantwana bayazi ukuba ungunina wabo, kodwa ngokukhawuleza basuke bakhethe ukuba kunye nebhinqa elibanyamekelayo.”

Kwelinye icala, oomama abahlala ekhaya ukuze banyamekele abantwana babo bathi bafanele banyamezele ukujongelwa phantsi ngabantu basekuhlaleni abathanda ukuzukisa abantu abasebenzela umvuzo. Kwezinye iindawo ukuba ngumama osekhaya akujongwa njengento exabisekileyo, ngoko amabhinqa anyanzelwa ukuba asebenze, nokuba umvuzo owongezelelekileyo awuyomfuneko.

Bashiywe Bodwa Ukuze Bazibonele

Enye into elucelomngeni ekubeni ngumama yile: Ngoxa ediniwe ngumsebenzi wosuku, umama ubuyela ekhaya, kungekhona ukuze aphumle, kodwa ukuze aqhubeke nemisebenzi yasekhaya eqhelekileyo. Oomama, nokuba benza umsebenzi wengqesho okanye akunjalo, ngokufuthi bagqalwa njengabona banembopheleleko yokunyamekela indlu nabantwana.

Ngoxa liye lisanda inani loomama abasebenza iiyure ezininzi, ootata abasoloko beluncedo kubo. IThe Sunday Times yaseLondon yabhala yenjenje: “Ngokutsho kohlolisiso olutsha, amadoda achitha imizuzu eli-15 kuphela ngosuku ekunye nabantwana bawo, yaye oku kunokubangela kuthiwe abekho oobawo kuhlanga lwaseBritani. . . . Amadoda amaninzi akakuthandi ukuchitha ixesha elide ekunye neentsapho zawo. . . . Ngokwentelekiso, umama waseBritani osebenzayo uchitha imizuzu engama-90 ngosuku ekunye nabantwana bakhe.”

Bambi abayeni bakhalaza ngelithi abafazi babo bakufumanisa kunzima ukuba bavumele abanye abantu benze umsebenzi othile kuba befuna ukuba izinto zenziwe kanye ngendlela abaqhele ukuzenza ngayo. Omnye umyeni ude athi: “Ukuba awenzi ngendlela afuna ngayo, kuqala uqhushululu.” Ngokucacileyo ngoko, ukuze umfazi odiniweyo asebenzisane nomyeni wakhe, ufanele akulungele ukwenza uhlengahlengiso kwindlela ezinye izinto ezenziwa ngayo endlwini. Kwelinye icala, umyeni akafanele asebenzise oku njengesingxengxezo sokuhlala angenzi nto.

Ukongezelela Kolu Celomngeni

Amasiko athandwayo nawo anokuba lucelomngeni olungakumbi. EJapan kulindeleke ukuba oomama bakhulise abantwana ngendlela efanayo naleyo bakhuliswa ngayo abantwana abalingana nabo. Ukuba abanye abantwana benza izifundo zokudlala ipiyano okanye zokuzoba, umama uziva enyanzelekile ukuba nabakhe abantwana benze okufanayo. Izikolo zinyanzela abazali ukuba bavumele abantwana babo benze izifundo okanye imidlalo eyenziwa emva kweeyure zesikolo njengokuba abanye abantwana besenza. Ukwahluka kunokubangela bagculelwe ngabanye abantwana, abafundisi-ntsapho, abanye abazali kunye nezalamane. Oku kunjalo nakwamanye amazwe.

Ezentengiselwano nokuthanda ukuthenga kunokwenza abantwana banyanzele abazali babo ukuba babathengele izinto ezithile. Kumazwe ahambele phambili kwezoqoqosho, oomama banokuvakalelwa kukuba bafanele bathengele abantwana babo nantoni na abayifunayo kuba bebona abanye oomama bethengela abantwana babo ezo zinto. Ukuba abakwazi ukwenjenjalo, banokuvakalelwa kukuba bayasilela.

Le ngxubusho engeendlela zakutshanje ezisetyenziswa ngoomama xa bekhulisa abantwana babo ayifanele isingele phantsi imigudu eyenziwa zizigidi zoomama abasebenza nzima ngokuzincama besenza konke okusemandleni abo ukuze baphumeze eyona njongo ibalulekileyo—leyo yokukhulisa izizukulwana zexesha elizayo. Eli lilungelo. IBhayibhile ithi: “Abantwana bayintsikelelo nesipho esivela eNKOSINI.” (INdumiso 127:3, Contemporary English Version) UMiriam, umama onabantwana ababini, uvakalisa indlela oomama abanjalo abavakalelwa ngayo xa esithi: “Ngaphandle nje kocelomngeni, ukuba ngumama kuvuyisa ngeendlela ezininzi. Kwenza ukuba saneliseke xa sibona abantwana bethu belwamkela uqeqesho neziluleko zethu baze babe ngabantu abaluncedo kwibutho labantu.”

Yintoni enokunceda oomama basivuyele ngakumbi isipho sabo? Inqaku elilandelayo liza kunikela amacebiso asebenzisekayo.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 6]

“IMother’s Day”

Ubuhlwempu obungathethekiyo, ukungafundi, amaqabane angamadoda angoongantweni, iintlobo ezahlukahlukeneyo zokuxhatshazwa kunye nobhubhani wesifo seAIDS zizinto ezithe mbende oomama abasemazantsi eAfrika. Kutshanje, xa belithetha ngeMother’s Day, iphephandaba laseMzantsi Afrika, iThe Citizen, lathi: “Amawaka amabhinqa aza kuxhatshazwa ngamaqabane awo yaye wambi aza kuphulukana nobomi bawo ngeMother’s Day.” Iingxaki ezinjalo zibangela ukuba oomama baseMzantsi Afrika abangamawaka balahle iintsana zabo nyaka ngamnye. Kutshanje, kwisithuba nje seminyaka emibini, bande ngama-25 ekhulwini abantwana abalahliweyo. Kodwa okona kuxhalabisayo kukwanda kwamabhinqa azibulalayo. Kutshanje, elinye ibhinqa elihlala kwindawo ehlwempuzekileyo lahamba nabantwana balo abathathu laza lama phambi kololiwe owawusiza. Wababulala bonke. Ukuze bakwazi ukuphila, oomama abathile baye babhenela ekubeni ngoonongogo, ekuthengiseni iziyobisi ezingekho mthethweni okanye ekukhuthazeni abantwana babo abangamantombazana ukuba benjenjalo.

Ingxelo evela eHong Kong ithi “bambi oomama abaselula bayalubulala usana xa bebeleka okanye balufake kumgqomo wenkunkuma, kuba bengenako ukujamelana nocelomngeni lokuba ngumama.” ISouth China Morning Post yathi wambi amabhinqa aselula atshatileyo aseHong Kong “axinezeleke kakhulu [kangangokuba] asenokugula gqitha ngokwengqondo ukusa kwinqanaba lokuba ade azibulale.”

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 7]

Ukuba Ngumama Kumazwe Awahlukahlukeneyo

Ixesha elincinane kakhulu

❖ Uhlolisiso olwenziwe eHong Kong lubonise ukuba oomama abasebenzayo abangama-60 ekhulwini abakwazi ukuchitha ixesha abacinga ukuba lanele bekunye nabantwana babo. Yaye ebudeni beveki xa kusetyenzwa abantwana abanabazali abasebenzayo abangama-20 ekhulwini abaneminyaka emithathu ubudala nangaphantsi abahlali ekhaya, ngokuqhelekileyo bahlala nomakhulu notatomkhulu.

❖ Amabhinqa aseMexico achitha malunga neminyaka eli-13 yobomi bawo enyamekela ubuncinane umntwana omnye ongaphantsi kweminyaka emihlanu ubudala.

Oomama nomsebenzi

❖ EIreland amabhinqa angama-60 ahlala ekhaya ukuze anyamekele abantwana. Amabhinqa amalunga nama-40 ekhulwini aseGrisi, eItali, naseSpeyin enza okufanayo.

Ukuncedisa ekhaya

❖ EJapan, abafazi abangaphangeliyo abangama-80 ekhulwini bathi bebengathanda kubekho ilungu lentsapho elibancedisayo ngokwenza imisebenzi yasendlwini ethile, ingakumbi xa bona begula.

❖ ENetherlands amadoda achitha malunga neeyure ezi-2 ngosuku ekunye nabantwana aze achithe isi-0,7 seyure esenza imisebenzi yasendlwini. Amabhinqa achitha malunga neeyure ezi-3 ekunye nabantwana aze achithe iiyure ezisisi-1,7 esenza imisebenzi yasendlwini.

Oomama abaxinezelekileyo

❖ EJamani bangaphezu kwama-70 ekhulwini oomama abaxinezelekileyo. Ukanti abamalunga nama-51 ekhulwini bakhalaza ngeengxaki zomqolo namagxa. Omnye kwabathathu usoloko ediniwe yaye ethe khunubembe. Phantse abangama-30 ekhulwini bakhathazwa yintloko ebuhlungu nengapheliyo.

Oomama abaxhatshazwayo

❖ EHong Kong, amabhinqa ama-4 ekhulwini kulawo kwenziwe kuwo uhlolisiso athi akhe abethwa ngoxa ekhulelwe.

❖ Uhlolisiso olwenziwa liphephancwadi iFocus eJamani lubonise ukuba phantse umama om-1 kwaba-6 uyavuma ukuba ukhe wahlaselwa ngumntwana wakhe ubuncinane isihlandlo esinye.

[Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 7]

Ukuba ngumama kunokubangela uxinezeleko olukhulu, njengoko amabhinqa amaninzi kufuneka alungelelanise iimeko phakathi komsebenzi wengqesho nobomi bentsapho