Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .

Ndinokuhlangabezana Njani Nocelomngeni Lokungakhuliswa Ngabazali Bam?

“Andibazi abazali bam yaye indicaphukisa gqitha loo nto.”—UBarbara, oneminyaka eli-16 ubudala.

“Andinalo nofifi lokuba ndazalelwa phi ndingazi nokuba ngoobani na abazali bam. Maxa wambi ezi ngcinga ziye zindifikele ebusuku.”—UMatt, oneminyaka esi-9 ubudala.

“Xa kukho into esingavisisani ngayo nabazali abandikhulisayo, ndiye ndicinge ukuba mhlawumbi abazali bam ‘bokwenyani’ bebeza kundiqonda ngakumbi. Leyo asiyondlela efanelekileyo yokucinga, yaye andizange ndikhe ndithethe ngaloo nto kubazali abandikhulisayo.”—UQuintana, oneminyaka eli-16 ubudala.

ALITHANDABUZEKI elokuba—umntwana ongakhuliswanga ngabazali bakhe unokujamelana nocelomngeni. Ulutsha oluninzi ludla ngokuvakalelwa ngendlela abavakalelwa ngayo aba bantwana bacatshulwe ngasentla. Abaninzi bayazibuza enoba bafanele bakhangele abazali babo kusini na, okanye bayazibuza enoba bebenokonwaba ngakumbi kusini na ukuba bebehlala nabazali babo. Yaye akuphela kocelomngeni abajamelene nalo olu.

Kwinqaku elingaphambili lolu ngcelele, siye saxubusha ngeengcinga eziphosakeleyo oludla ngokuba nazo ulutsha olungakhuliswanga ngabazali balo.a Ukuze umntwana ongakhuliswanga ngabazali bakhe onwabe, kubalulekile ukuba alwisane neengcinga ezinjalo. Noko ke, luluphi olunye ucelomngeni onokujamelana nalo, yaye unokuhlangabezana njani nalo?

Ngaba Ngabazali Bam “Bokwenene” Aba?

UJake oneminyaka eli-13 ubudala uthi wayedla ngokucinga kakhulu ngonina omzalayo. Loo nto yayimbangela ukuba abe nengxaki nabazali ababemkhulisa. Uthi: “Xa ndinomsindo ndandidla ngokuthi, ‘Kaloku, akungomama wam—akunakundohlwaya ngolu hlobo!’”

Njengoko usenokubona, uJake kwafuneka akwazi ukuphendula lo mbuzo ubalulekileyo: Yayingubani kanye kanye unina? Ukuba ukhuliswa ngabantu abangengobazali bakho, kusenokwenzeka ukuba unengxaki efanayo, ngokukodwa xa ucinga ukuba abazali bakho bebeya kukuphatha bhetele kunabantu abakukhulisayo. Kodwa ngaba into enokwenza abantu babe ngabazali “bokwenene” kukuba nje bekuzele?

Umama owayekhulisa uJake wayengacingi ngolo hlobo. Lo mfana uthi: “Umama wayedla ngokuthi, ‘Ewe, ndingunyoko. Nakuba wazalwa ngomnye umntu, ndim unyoko ngoku.’” Xa abantu abadala bethabatha umntwana bahlale naye kwikhaya labo baze bavume ukumnika ikhusi, ukumondla, ukumkhulisa, nokumnyamekela eneneni bangabazali “bokwenene” baloo mntwana. (1 Timoti 5:8) Kusenokwenzeka ukuba oku kugqalwa ngaloo ndlela nasemthethweni welizwe ohlala kulo. Kodwa uThixo yena ukugqala njani oku?

Khawucinge ngeyona mbali yaziwayo yomntwana owakhuliswa ngabantu abangengobazali bakhe—uYesu Kristu. UYesu wayengengonyana wokoqobo kaYosefu, owayengumchweli, ukanti uYosefu wamthabatha wamkhulisa njengonyana wakhe. (Mateyu 1:24, 25) Ekukhuleni kwakhe, ngaba uYesu walivukela igunya likaYosefu? Ngokwahlukileyo koko, uYesu wayeqonda ukuba yayikukuthanda kukaThixo ukuba athobele uyise. UYesu wayewazi kakuhle umthetho owawunikwe abantwana bamaSirayeli nguYehova. Nguwuphi loo mthetho?

Beka Uyihlo Nonyoko

IZibhalo zithi kwabaselula: “Beka uyihlo nonyoko.” (Duteronomi 5:16) Igama elithi “beka” lidla ngokusetyenziswa eBhayibhileni ukubonisa intlonelo nolwazelelelo. Ngaloo ndlela unokubabeka abazali abakukhulisayo ngokuba nobubele kubo, ubahlonele, uphulaphule izimvo zabo uze wenze zonke izinto ezisengqiqweni abacela ukuba uzenze.

Noko ke, kuthekani xa aba bazali bakho bebonakala besenza izinto ngokungekho ngqiqweni? Kuyavunywa ukuba oko kunokwenzeka. Bonke abazali abafezekanga, enoba ngabazali abakukhulisayo okanye ngabazali bakho bokoqobo. Iimpazamo abazenzayo zinokubangela ukuba kube nzima ukubathobela. Yaye akumangalisi ukuba, ngamaxesha anjalo, usenokutyekela ekunikeleni ingqalelo kwisibakala sokuba aba ingengobazali bakho bokoqobo uze ngandlel’ ithile uvakalelwe kukuba akunyanzelekanga ukuba ubathobele. Kodwa ngaba kunjalo ngokwenene?

Ukucinga ngemeko kaYesu kunokukunceda. Khumbula ukuba wayefezekile. (Hebhere 4:15; 1 Petros 2:22) Kodwa uyise owayemkhulisa wayengafezekanga; nonina ngokunjalo. Ngoko ke, kusenokwenzeka ukuba ngezinye izihlandlo uYesu wayezibona iimpazamo ezazisenziwa ngabazali bakhe. Ngaba walivukela igunya likaYosefu lobuntloko kuba engafezekanga okanye ngaba wayelugatya ulwalathiso lukaMariya njengonina kuba wayesenza iimpazamo? Akunjalo. IBhayibhile ithi njengoko uYesu wayekhula, “waqhubeka ezithobile” kubazali bakhe.—Luka 2:51.

Ngoko ukuba kukho nto ithile ningavisisani ngayo nabazali bakho, usenokweyiseka ukuba bayaphazama. Noko ke, umele uvume ukuba nawe akufezekanga. Ngoko kusenokwenzeka ukuba nguwe ophazamayo. Noko ke, ngaba ukulandela umzekelo kaYesu akulonyathelo lifanelekileyo? (1 Petros 2:21) Ukwenjenjalo kuya kukunceda uthobele. Kodwa kukho nesinye isizathu esibaluleke ngakumbi sokuba ubathobele abazali bakho.

IBhayibhile ithi: “Nina bantwana, bathobeleni abazali benu ezintweni zonke, kuba oko kukholekile eNkosini.” (Kolose 3:20) Ewe, ukuthobela kwakho kuyamvuyisa uYihlo osemazulwini. (IMizekeliso 27:11) Yaye ufuna ufunde ukuthobela ngenxa yokuba ufuna nawe wonwabe. ILizwi lakhe likhuthaza abaselula ukuba bathobele, yaye lihlabela mgama lithi, “ukuze kulunge kuwe uze uhlale ixesha elide emhlabeni.”—Efese 6:3.

Ukuqinisa Ulwalamano Lwakho Nabazali Abakukhulisayo

Ukuba nolwalamano oluhle nabazali abakukhulisayo kuquka okungakumbi kunokubahlonela nokubathobela. Mhlawumbi nawe ufuna ikhaya elifudumeleyo nekukho uthando kulo. Yimbopheleleko yabazali abakukhulisayo ukuba benze ikhaya lakho libe yindawo enjalo. Kodwa nawe unokudlala indima ebalulekileyo kule nkalo. Njani?

Okokuqala, zama iindlela zokuba usondele kubazali bakho. Babuze ngemvelaphi yabo, ubomi babo nezinto abanomdla kuzo. Xa kukho into ekukhathazayo funa icebiso kubo, uthethe nabo ngexesha elifanelekileyo xa bephumle bekulungele ukuphulaphula. (IMizekeliso 20:5) Okwesibini, jonga iindlela onokuncedisa ngazo ekhaya, njengokuncedisa kumsebenzi wendlu ungalindeli ukuba ude uthunywe.

Noko ke, kuthekani ngabazali bakho bokoqobo? Ukuba ugqiba kwelokuba ubakhangele, okanye bona bagqiba kwelokuba bakukhangele, ngaba oko kuya kulonakalisa ulwalamano onalo nabazali abakukhulisayo? Ngaphambili, amaziko afunela abantwana abantu bokubakhulisa ayengafuni ukudlulisela inkcazelo enokunceda abazali bomntwana bafumane umntwana wabo ababenikise ngaye ukuba akhuliswe ngabanye abantu. Namhlanje, imigaqo esetyenziswa kwamanye amazwe ayikho ngqongqo kangako, yaye abantwana abaninzi bakha bababona abazali babo bokoqobo noxa bengasabakhumbuli. Kakade ke, kusenokwenzeka ukuba imigaqo yokufunela abantwana abantu bokubakhulisa yahlukile kwindawo ohlala kuyo.

Noko ke, enoba ugqiba ekubeni ubafune abazali bakho bokoqobo okanye akunjalo eso sisigqibo sobuqu, yaye sisenokungabi lula. Ulutsha oluninzi luvakalelwa ngeendlela ezahlukahlukeneyo ngokuphathelele lo mbandela. Olunye lulangazelela ukufuna abazali balo bokoqobo; olunye aluzimiselanga kubafuna. Noko ke, unokuqiniseka ukuba abantwana abaninzi abakhuliswe ngabanye abazali baye badibana nabazali babo bokoqobo kodwa baye baqhubeka benolwalamano oluhle nabazali ababakhulisayo.

Funa icebiso kubazali bakho abakukhulisayo yaye mhlawumbi nakubahlobo abaqolileyo abakwibandla lobuKristu. (IMizekeliso 15:22) Cingisisa kakuhle ngokhetho ofuna ukulwenza, yaye linda ithuba elithile ngaphambi kokuba uthabathe nawaphi na amanyathelo. Njengoko iMizekeliso 14:15 isitsho, “onobuqili uyawaqwalasela amanyathelo akhe.”

Xa ugqiba kwelokuba unxibelelane nabazali bakho, zama ukuqinisekisa abazali abakukhulisayo ukuba uza kuqhubeka ubathanda yaye ubahlonela. Ngaloo ndlela, emva kokufumanisa ukuba ngoobani abazali bakho bokoqobo abanikisa ngawe kwabanye abantu, uya kuqhubeka unolwalamano oluhle nabazali abakukhulisayo baza bakuqeqesha.

Qinisa Ulwalamano Lwakho NoYihlo Osemazulwini

Abantwana abaninzi abakhuliswe ngabanye abantu bayakoyika ukungakhathalelwa. Banexhala lokuba banokuphulukana nentsapho ebakhulisayo njengoko baphulukana nentsapho yabo yokoqobo. Siyaqondakala isizathu sokuba babe nolo loyiko. Sekunjalo, khumbula la mazwi obulumko: “Akukho loyiko eluthandweni, kodwa uthando olugqibeleleyo luluphosela phandle uloyiko.” (1 Yohane 4:18) Musa ukuvumela uloyiko lokuphulukana nabantu obathandayo lukulawule. Kunoko, hlakulela uthando ngabanye, kuquka onke amalungu entsapho yakowenu. Ngapha koko, qinisa ulwalamano lwakho noYihlo osemazulwini, uYehova uThixo. Unokuthembela kuye ngokupheleleyo, akabalahli abantwana bakhe abathembekileyo. Unokuluthomalalisa uloyiko onalo.—Filipi 4:6, 7.

UCatrina owakhuliswa ngabanye abazali, uthi ukufunda iBhayibhile kwamnceda kakhulu wasondela kuThixo waza waphila ubomi obonwabisayo nobunenjongo. Uthi ukuba nolwalamano olusenyongweni noYehova “kubaluleke gqitha kuba uBawo wethu osezulwini uyayazi indlela esivakalelwa ngayo.” Umbhalo awuthanda gqitha uCatrina yiNdumiso 27:10, ethi: “Nokuba ubawo noma bangandishiya, ke yena uYehova uya kundithabatha.”

Ukuba ungayivuyela inkcazelo engakumbi okanye ungathanda ukuba uthile eze ekhayeni lakho ukuze akuqhubele isifundo seBhayibhile sesisa, nceda ubhale, uthumele igama nedilesi ohlala kuyo kule dilesi, AmaNgqina KaYehova, Private Bag X2067, Krugersdorp, 1740, South Africa, okanye kwidilesi efanelekileyo kwezidweliswe kwiphepha 5.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 32]

Funa iindlela onokusondelelana ngazo nabazali bakho abakukhulisayo