Baba Nabantwana Besebancinane Gqitha

“Umfana endandithandana naye wayeyinzwana. Wayenemali yaye sasisiya naphi na xa sifuna ukuzonwabisa. Emva kokungayi exesheni, ndaqonda ukuba ukho undonakele. Ndandiza kumxelela njani umama? Inokwenzeka njani into elolu hlobo kum? Ndandineminyaka eli-16 kuphela ubudala yaye ndandingazi ukuba ndithini.”—UNicole.

NAMHLANJE uNicole,a ophakathi kuma-30 eminyaka ubudala, ngumama wabantwana abathathu ozithembileyo nodlamkileyo. Umntwana wakhe wokuqala uneminyaka engama-20 ubudala. Ewe, kwiminyaka eyadlulayo wayengomnye wezigidi zamantombazana akwishumi elivisayo akhulelwa engatshatanga. Njengabanye oomama abakwishumi elivisayo, wazibona sele ejamelene neengxaki ezinzima, wayefanele enze izigqibo ezibalulekileyo yaye wayengaqinisekanga ngekamva.

UNicole akafane athethe ngokothuka, ubunzima bokuyamkela le nto yayenzekile, uloyiko, umsindo nonxunguphalo awayenalo ngoxa wayekwishumi elivisayo—ixesha oontanga bakhe ababethe phithi yimpahla nokuqhuba kakuhle esikolweni. Sekunjalo, imeko kaNicole yayingembi kangako. Wakhulela kwintsapho enothando eyamfundisa imilinganiselo ephakamileyo yokuziphatha. Nangona okwethutyana wakhetha ukuyityeshela loo milinganiselo—waza wavuna akuhlwayeleyo—kamva loo milinganiselo yamnceda waphila ubomi obanelisayo nobunenjongo. Waqonda ukuba “akulahlwa mbeleko ngakufelwa.”

Ngelishwa, asingabo bonke oomama abakwishumi elivisayo abaneentsapho ezibaxhasayo—okanye abanesimo sengqondo esihle. Abaninzi bazibona ngathi baza kuba ngamahlwempu. Bambi bajamelana nentlungu yokudlwengulwa okanye yogonyamelo.

Zonke ezi zinto ziba nemiphumo emibi kubantwana boomama abakwishumi elivisayo. Incwadi ethi Teen Moms—The Pain and the Promise ithi abantwana boomama abakwishumi elivisayo “badla ngokuzalwa bebancinane gqitha yaye begula ukanti abaninzi bayafa, abafumani lunyango lusemgangathweni, bathwaxwa yindlala yaye abondlekanga; bachanabeka lula kugonyamelo yaye bakhula kade kunabantwana boomama abasele bekhulile.” Eneneni, abantwana boomama abakwishumi elivisayo abangamantombazana badla ngokufumana abantwana besebancinane kunabo boomama abasele bekhulile.

Kwande kangakanani ukukhulelwa kwabakwishumi elivisayo? Oomama abakwishumi elivisayo banokujamelana ngokuphumelelayo njani nocelomngeni lokukhulisa iintsana zabo? Ngaba ikho indlela yokunceda abaselula baphephe ukungena kuloo ngxaki kwasekuqaleni? Le mibuzo iza kuphendulwa kumanqaku alandelayo.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]