Ukujamelana Neengxaki Zokuba Ngumama Okwishumi Elivisayo

UKUKHULELWA kwabakwishumi elivisayo kuza nocelomngeni lokwenza izigqibo zabantu abakhulileyo. “Ingathi ndineminyaka engama-40 ubudala,” watsho omnye umama okwishumi elivisayo. “Ndiphoswe zizo zonke izinto ezenziwa lulutsha.” Eneneni, isakufumanisa ukuba ikhulelwe, intombazana eselula inokonganyelwa luloyiko nexhala.

Nawe usenokuvakalelwa ngaloo ndlela ukuba ukwishumi elivisayo yaye ukhulelwe. Noko ke, ukuphelelwa ngamandla ngenxa yokukhathazeka akuncedi nto. IBhayibhile ithi, “Olinda umoya akayi kuyihlwayela imbewu; nokhangela amafu akayi kuvuna.” (INtshumayeli 7:8; 11:4) Umlimi ozixhalabisa ngokugqithiseleyo ngemozulu akayi kulima. Nawe kulumkele ukuhlala nje usong’ izandla. Kungekudala kuza kufuneka uqhubeke nobomi uze usingathe imbopheleleko yakho.—Galati 6:5.

Zintoni onokuzenza? Abanye basenokukukhuthaza ukuba uqhomfe. Kodwa abantu abafuna ukuvuyisa uThixo abacingi nokucinga ngelo nyathelo, kuba iBhayibhile ikwenza kucace ukuba ukuqhomfa kuchasene nomthetho kaThixo. (Eksodus 20:13; 21:22, 23; INdumiso 139:14-16) Emehlweni kaThixo, ubomi bemveku engekazalwa—kwanaleyo ikhawulwe ngaphandle kweqhina lomtshato—buxabisekile.

Kuthekani ngokutshata noyise womntwana nize nikhulise umntwana wenu kunye? Ubuncinane ukutshata kunokuliquma ihlazo okulo. Kodwa nokuba utata oselula uvakalelwa kukuba ufanele ancedise ekukhuliseni umntwana wakhe, ukutshata akusoloko kulikhondo lobulumko.a Into yokuba umfana ekwazi ukubangela ubani akhulelwe ayithethi kuthi ukhule ngokwaneleyo engqondweni ukuba angangumyeni okanye utata ofanelekileyo. Kungathethi nokuba uza kukwazi ukunyamekela iimfuno zokwenyama zomfazi nomntwana wakhe. Ngapha koko, ukuba umfana oselula akanazinkolelo zifanayo nezakho, ukutshata naye kuya kuba kukugatya isibongozo seBhayibhile sokutshata “kuphela eNkosini.” (1 Korinte 7:39) Amava abonisa ukuba ukungxamela umtshato—mhlawumbi oza kuthabatha ixesha nje elifutshane—kuya kwandisa intlungu nokubandezeleka kwakho.

Kuthekani ngokunikezela ngomntwana wakho ukuze akhuliswe ngabanye abantu? Ngoxa oku kubhetele kunokuqhomfa, ufanele ukhumbule ukuba nangona ujamelene nale meko inzima, usenako ukuzikhulisela umntwana wakho.

Ukujamelana Neengxaki

Kuyavunywa ukuba ukukhulisa umntwana ngaphandle kweqabane akuyondlwan’ iyanetha. Noko ke, ngokulandela imigaqo yeBhayibhile kangangoko kunokwenza nangokuthembela kumandla nakulwalathiso lukaThixo, unokuhlangabezana ngokuphumelelayo nolu celomngeni. Nanga amanye amanyathelo anokukunceda.

● Lungisa ulwalamano lwakho noThixo. Yiqonde into yokuba, ukuba neentlobano zesini ngaphambi komtshato sisono kuThixo—kukwaphula imilinganiselo yakhe yokuziphatha ephakamileyo. (Galati 5:19-21; 1 Tesalonika 4:3, 4) Ngoko inyathelo lokuqala elibalulekileyo kukuguquka uze ucele uxolo kuThixo. (INdumiso 32:5; 1 Yohane 2:1, 2) Kuyavunywa ukuba, usenokuziva ungakufanelekelanga ukuncedwa nguye. Noko ke, uYehova uthembisa ukubaxolela nokubanceda abo baguqukayo ezonweni zabo. (Isaya 55:6, 7) KuIsaya 1:18, uYehova uthi: “Nangona izono zenu zingqombela [zinzulu], ziya kwenziwa mhlophe njengekhephu [kuxolelwa ngokupheleleyo].” Kwakhona iBhayibhile ikhuthaza abenzi bobubi ukuba bafune uncedo lwabadala abamiselweyo bebandla.—Yakobi 5:14, 15.

● Yeka ukuba neentlobano zesini ngaphambi komtshato. Oko kusenokuthetha ukwahlukana noyise womntwana wakho. Ukuqhubeka uthandana naye ningatshatanga kuya kukubeka esichengeni sokuwela kwihambo engamkholisiyo uThixo. Ungaze ulibale ukuba nangona ingqongqo, imithetho kaThixo yenzelwe ukusikhusela. UNicole, okhankanywe ngaphambilana kolu ngcelele, uthi: “Ndaqonda ukuba uThixo unyanisile. Ufuna kungenelwe thina.”—Isaya 48:17, 18.

● Xelela abazali bakho. Usenokoyika ukuba abazali bakho baza kucaphuka. Ewe, baza kukhathazeka baze baxhalabe xa besiva ukuba ukhulelwe. Basenokuvakalelwa kukuba abakhange bazenze ngendlela izinto baze bazibek’ ityala ngokuziphatha kwakho okutenxileyo. Noko ke, ukuba abazali bakho bahlonel’ uThixo, intlungu yabo iya kudlula ekuhambeni kwexesha. Ngabazali bakho yaye nangona usenza iimpazamo, bayakuthanda. Xa bebona ukuba uguqukile, ngokuqinisekileyo baya kuxelisa uyise wonyana wolahleko baze ngothando bakuxolele.—Luka 15:11-32.

● Yiba nombulelo. Abazali, izalamane nabahlobo badla ngokuba luncedo banikele nenkxaso. Ngokomzekelo, abazali bakho basenokukulungiselela ukuba ufumane unyango. Emva kokuba ubelekile, basenokukufundisa izinto ezisisiseko ngokuphathelele ukunyamekela umntwana; basenokude bakuncede ukunyamekela usana lwakho. UNicole uthi ngonina, “umntwana yayingowam, kodwa wandinceda ngezinto ezininzi.” Ngokufanayo nabahlobo banokukunceda, mhlawumbi ngendlela engaqondakaliyo, bakuphe iimpahla zosana nezinye izinto eziluncedo. (IMizekeliso 17:17) Xa abantu bekwenzela ububele, yenza oko kucetyiswa yiBhayibhile ‘ube nombulelo.’ (Kolose 3:15) Ukuvakalisa umbulelo kuya kwenza bavakalelwe kukuba uyazixabisa izinto abakwenzela zona.

● Funda iindlela zokukhulisa umntwana. Kakade ke, akufuni kuxhomekeka kwintsapho nakubahlobo ngonaphakade. Ngoko funda ubuchule obuya kukunceda ukwazi ukunyamekela usana lwakho nokuzimela ukusa kumlinganiselo othile. Ukufunda ukunyamekela omnye umntu oneemfuno zakhe kulucelomngeni. Kufuneka ufunde okuninzi ngokuphathelele ukondla usana, impilo yalo nezinye izinto. Okubangel’ umdla kukuba, iBhayibhile ikhuthaza amaKristu angamabhinqa aqolileyo ukuba akhuthaze amabhinqa aselula ukuba ‘akhuthale emizini yawo.’ (Tito 2:5) Ngokungathandabuzekiyo, unyoko—mhlawumbi namanye amalungu ebandla lamaKristu aqolileyo—unokukuqeqesha kule nkalo.

● Yisebenzise kakuhle imali. IBhayibhile ithi ‘imali iyakhusela.’ (INtshumayeli 7:12) Ukuba nomntwana kuza neendleko ezingathethekiyo.

Iya kuba bubulumko ukukhangela ukuba ngawaphi amathuba oncedo lukarhulumente onokuwafumana. Kodwa ngokuqhelekileyo amantombazana adla ngokufumana kubazali bawo imali. Ukuba kunjalo nakuwe, iya kuba bubulumko nokubonisa uvelwano ukunciphisa iindleko kangangoko kunokwenzeka. Nangona ngokuqinisekileyo usenokufuna umntwana wakho abe nezinto ezintsha, mhlawumbi unokonga imali ngokuthenga kwiivenkile ezithengisa izinto ezingekho ntsha.

● Zama ukufumana imfundo ethile. IMizekeliso 10:14 ithi, “Izilumko ziyalugcina ulwazi.” Ngoxa oku kuyinyaniso ngokuphathelele ulwazi lweBhayibhile, kuyinyaniso nangemfundo yehlabathi. Ufanele ufunde ubugcisa obuthile ukuze ukwazi ukuziphilisa.

Kuyavunywa ukuba, kunzima ukuya esikolweni ngoxa unyamekela usana. Noko ke, ukungabi namfundo isisiseko kunokuthetha ukuba wena nosana lwakho niya kuhlala ningamahlwempu, nixhomekeke kumxhesho karhulumente, usamkela umvuzo ophantsi, uhlala kwindlu ekumgangatho ophantsi okanye nithwaxwe yindlala. Ngoko ukuba unako, qhubeka ufunda. Unina kaNicole wamkhuthaza ukuba agqibe ukufunda, yaye ngenxa yoko, uNicole wakwazi ukufumana uqeqesho waza wakwazi ukuzixhasa esebenza njengegqwetha elincedisayo.

Kutheni ungenzi uphando ngamathuba emfundo akhoyo? Ukuba kunzima ukuya esikolweni, zama ukufumanisa enoba unako kusini na ukufunda usekhaya. Ngokomzekelo, ukufunda ngembalelwano kunokuba luncedo kwimeko yakho.

Unako Ukuphumelela

Ukukhulisa umntwana ungenaqabane lomtshato kulucelomngeni kwintombazana eselula. Kodwa unako ukuphumelela! Ngomonde, uzimiselo noncedo lukaYehova uThixo, unokuba ngumzali onothando ophumelelayo. Yaye abantwana abanoomama abangatshatanga banokuba ngabantu abalungeleleneyo xa sele bekhulile. Kaloku, unokude uvuyele ukubona umntwana wakho elwamkela uqeqesho lwakho aze athande uThixo.—Efese 6:4.

UNicole uyibeka ngale ndlela le meko: “Phezu kwabo nje ubunzima endajamelana nabo, uThixo wandinceda ndakwazi ukuyinceda intombazana yam ukuba ibe ngumntu onobubele, nentlonelo, okwaziyo ukusingatha iimbopheleleko. Xa ndiyijonga ndiye ndikhumbule iimini endandingakwazi ukulala ngazo kodwa kwangaxeshanye ndiye ndivuye.”

Noko ke, abantu abadala bafanele babaphathe njani oomama abakwishumi elivisayo nabantwana babo? Ngaba ikho indlela yokunceda aba bakwishumi elivisayo baphephe intlungu yokukhulelwa?

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 8, 9]

Oomama abakwishumi elivisayo bajamelana neengxaki ezininzi ekukhuliseni abantwana babo

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 10]

Ukungxama ngokutshata akusosicombululo

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 10]

Abadala abangamaKristu banokunceda ulutsha olunxaxhayo luphinde lube nolwalamano oluhle noThixo

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 11]

Bubulumko ukuba oomama abangenamaqabane bagqibe ukufunda