Ndafumana Uthando Noxolo Lokwenene
Kubalisa uEgidio Nahakbria
Ndakhula ndiziva ndilahliwe yaye ndingathandwa. Ukanti, ngoku ndiziva ndithandwa yaye ndinoxolo lwangaphakathi. Yatshintsha njani le meko? Makhe ndinabe.
NDAZALWA ngowe-1976 kwinqugwala lendlu elikwiintaba zeMpuma Timor, eyayiphantsi kweIndonesia ngoko. Ndingowesibhozo kubantwana abalishumi, abazalelwa ebuhlwempini. Ekubeni abazali babengakwazi ukusondla sonke, bakhulisa iwele lam esasifana twatse nalo baza bacela umntakwethu ongunyana womkhuluwa kaTata ukuba andikhulise.
NgoDisemba 1975, ngaphambi nje kokuba ndizalwe, i-Indonesia yahlasela iMpuma Timor, saza eso yasisiqalo semfazwe yabanqolobi eyathath’ iminyaka engaphezu kwamashumi amabini. Ndathi ndiqabuka ndaba ndilwazi ugonyamelo nokubandezeleka. Ndikhumbula amajoni ehlasela idolophana yethu kwaza kwanyanzeleka ukuba wonk’ umntu asabe esindis’ ubomi bakhe. Sinomntakwethu saya ezintabeni, apho amawaka aseTimor ayesabele khona.
Zange kube kudala amajoni asibhaqa, aza asihlasela ngeebhombu. Ndiseneenkumbulo ezimbi, ukufa nentshabalalo eyalandelayo. Emva kokubuyela kwidolophana yethu, ndandiphila ngoloyiko. Abamelwane bethu abaninzi banyamalala abanye babulawa, ibe ndandicinga ukuba ndiza kulandela.
Xa ndandineminyaka elishumi, umntakwethu wagula waza wafa, baza abazali bam bandithumela kumakhulu. Wayengumhlolokazi, owehlelwa zizinto ezimbi ebomini, ngoko wandijonga njengoxanduva. Wandiphatha njengekhoboka. Ngenye imini xa ndandigula ndingakwazi kusebenza, wandibetha waza wandishiya ukuba ndizifele. Noko ke, unyana kamalume wandithatha ndaya kuhlala nentsapho yakhe.
Xa ndandineminyaka eli-12, ndade ndaqala esikolweni. Kungekudala, inkosikazi yakhe yagula, waza waxinezeleka engqondweni. Ndingafuni kubathwalisa uxanduva, ndabaleka ndaya kuhlala neqela lamajoni elalihlala endle eIndonesia. Ndandiwenzela imisebenzi yawo—ndiwahlambela impahla, ndiwaphekela ndize ndicoce nenkampu. Andiphatha kakuhle, ndatsho ndaziva ndixabisekile. Kodwa emva kweenyanga, izalamane zam zandifumana zaza zanyanzela loo majoni ukuba andigoduse.
Ukuba nenxaxheba kwezopolitiko
Emva kokuphumelela amabanga aphakamileyo, ndafudukela kwidolophu elikomkhulu leMpuma Timor, iDili, ndisiya kufunda eyunivesithi. Apho ndadibana nolutsha oluninzi olunemvelaphi efana neyam. Ukuze sincede abantu bafumane inkululeko nezinto zitshintshe entlalweni, sagqiba ekubeni kufuneka ezopolitiko. Senza imingcelele emininzi yezopolitiko, inkoliso yawo eyaphelela kwizidubedube. Abahlobo bam abaninzi benzakala. Abanye bade babulawa.
Xa iMpuma Timor yafumana inkululeko ngowama-2002, ilizwe lasala liyingqushu, amashumi amawaka efile, abe amakhulu amawaka engcucalaza. Ndandinethemba lokuba loo meko iza kuphucuka. Kodwa abantu abaninzi basala bengaphangeli, bethwaxwa yindlala nongquzulwano olungapheliyo lwezopolitiko.
Indlela Entsha
Ngelo xesha, ndandihlala nezinye izalamane, kuquka umzala uAndre, owayefunda iBhayibhile namaNgqina kaYehova. NjengomRoma Katolika ozinikeleyo, ndandingayithandi into yokuba isihlobo sam sibe kolunye unqulo. Sekunjalo, ndandinomdla wokuyazi iBhayibhile ngoko ndandikhe ndifunde eka-Andre eyayihlala kwigumbi lakhe. Izinto endazifunda apho zandenza ndanomdla ngakumbi.
Ngowama-2004 xa uAndre wandinika isimemo seSikhumbuzo sokufa kukaYesu, ndagqiba ekubeni ndiye. Ngenxa yokusifunda kakubi eso simemo, ndafika kusasele iiyure ezimbini zonke kuloo ndawo yeSikhumbuzo. Ukufika kwamaNgqina, aweli lizwe nawamanye amazwe, andibulisa ngobubele ndaziva ndamkelekile. Ndachukumiseka gqitha. Kuloo ntetho yeSikhumbuzo, ndabhala zonke izibhalo ezicatshuliweyo ndaza ndafika ndazijonga kweyam iBhayibhile yamaKatolika ndifuna ukuqinisekisa ukuba zazinjalo kusini na. Zazinjalo ngokwenene!
Kwiveki elandelayo, ndaya kuMthendeleko wecawa yam. Ngenxa yokuba mna nabathile safika emva kwexesha, umfundisi wathi hlasi isikhuni waza ngomsindo wasikhupha ngomva ecaweni. Njengoko simi phandle, umfundisi wavala inkonzo waza wandulula ibandla ngala mazwi: “Ngamana uxolo lukaYesu lunganani.” Ngobugagu elinye ibhinqa lathi: “Usithatha phi isibindi sokuthetha ngoxolo ugqiba kugxotha aba bantu ecaweni?” Umfundisi zange alihoye. Ndagqibela loo mini ecaweni.
Emva koko, ndaqalisa ukufunda iBhayibhile ndaya nakwiintlanganiso zamaNgqina noAndre. Izalamane zethu zange ziyithande loo nto zaza zasichasa. Umakhulu ka-Andre wasilumkisa wathi: “Ndakwemba umngxuma ndiningcwabe bantwanandini ukuba niya kula cawa intsha.” Izisongelo zakhe, zatsho phantsi. Sasizimisele ukwenza inkqubela ngokomoya.
Ukwenza Utshintsho
Njengoko ndifunda iBhayibhile, ndatsho ndabona ukuba ndandilwazi uthando. Ndandilukhuni ndithanda ukuzithethelela, kunzima nokuthemba abantu. Noko ke, amaNgqina aba nomdla wokwenene kum. Ndathi ndakugula izalamane zam azandihoya, ndancedwa ngamaNgqina. Uthando lwawo “yaba lolokwenene” ‘akazange athande ngamazwi nomlomo nje, kodwa ngezenzo.’—1 Yohane 3:18, Today’s English Version.
Nakuba imeko yam yayimbi isoyikeka, amaNgqina andiphatha ‘ngovelwano nomsa wobuzalwana.’ (1 Petros 3:8) Ndandiqala ebomini ukuziva ndithandwa. Ubuntu bam batshintsha, ndaqala ukuthanda uThixo nabantu. NgoDisemba 2004, ndafuzisela ukuzahlulela kuYehova ngokubhaptizwa emanzini. UAndre wabhaptizwa ngokukhawuleza emva koko.
Iintsikelelo Phezu Kwazo Nje Iingxaki
Emva koko, ndaba nomnqweno wokunceda abanye ababengalwazi uthando lokwenene okanye okusesikweni. Ngoko, ndaba ngumlungiseleli wexesha elizeleyo, okanye uvulindlela, igama elisetyenziswa ngamaNgqina kaYehova. Ukubandakanya abanye kwisigidimi seBhayibhile esikhuthazayo kwakuhlaziya ngaphezu kokubabandakanya kwimingcelele noqhankqalazo lwezopolitiko. Ekugqibeleni, ndandinceda abantu!
Ngowama-2006, kwaphinda kwavuka uqhushululu lwezopolitiko eMpuma Timor. Amaqela alapho ayesilwela izinto ezibuhlungu ekudala zikhalazelwa. Isixeko saseDili sazaliswa luphalazo-gazi, baza abantu abaninzi basempuma babaleka besindisa ubomi babo. Ndikunye namanye amaNgqina, sabalekela eBaucau, idolophu enkulu emalunga neekhilomitha ezili-120 kwimpuma yeDili. Apho intlungu yethu yajika yaba yintsikelelo, kuba saseka ibandla elitsha—elokuqala ngaphandle kwaseDili.
Kwiminyaka emithathu kamva, ngowama-2009 ndabizelwa kwisikolo esikhethekileyo sabalungiseleli abangamaKristu bexesha elizeleyo eJakarta, eIndonesia. AmaNgqina aseJakarta andamkela ngokufudumeleyo kumakhaya awo. Uthando lwawo lokwenene lwandichukumisa gqitha. Ndaziva ndiyinxalenye ‘yomanyano lwabazalwana’ lomhlaba wonke, “intsapho” yezizwe ngezizwe endikhathaleleyo.—1 Petros 2:17.
Uxolo Ekugqibeleni!
Emva kwesikolo, ndabuyela eBaucau, ibe ndisahlala khona. Apha ndivuyiswa kukunceda abantu ngokomoya, kanye njengokuba nam ndancedwayo. Ngokomzekelo, kwenye idolophana ekwanti ngaphandle kweBaucau, sifundisa abantu abangama-20 iBhayibhile, kuquka abantu abakhulileyo abangakwaziyo ukufunda okanye ukubhala. Lonke elo qela liza rhoqo kwiintlanganiso zeveki, yaye abathathu kulo baye bathelela “intsapho” yethu yokomoya ngokuba ngamalungu abhaptiziweyo ebandla lamaKristu.
Kwiminyaka eliqela edlulileyo, ndadibana noFelizarda, intombi enobubele eyayamkelayo inyaniso yeBhayibhile yaza yenza inkqubela ngokubhaptizwa. Siye satshata ngowama-2011. Ndiyavuya kuba noAndre, umzala wam, ukhonza kwiofisi yamaNgqina kaYehova ekwiMpuma yeTimor. Inkoliso yezalamane zethu, kuquka umakhulu ka-Andre owayesisongele ngokusingcwaba, ziyaluhlonela unqulo lwam.
Ngaphambili, ndandiziva ndicaphuka, ndingathandwa yaye ndingenakuthandwa. Kodwa uYehova uye wandinceda ndalufumana uthando noxolo lokwenene ekugqibeleni!
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UEgidio esekwezopolitiko
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UEgidio noFelizarda namalungu eBandla laseBaucau, kwiMpuma Timor