Ukuphumelela Kumlo Wokukhotyokiswa Butywala

“Ebudeni bomsebenzi, malunga nentsimbi yeshumi kusasa, ndandidla ngokuqalisa ukucinga ngento eselwayo. Ngentsimbi ye-12 ndandidla ngokuphuma ukuze ndithi laqa ithamo elinye okanye amabini. Ngentsimbi yesithathu ndandidla ngokuba sendingcangcazela. Ndandingxamela ukuba kufike ixesha lokugoduka ukuze ndiphinde ndithi rhabu. Ngokufuthi ndandidla ngokuba sendithe laqa aliqela noko xa ndigoduka. Malunga nentsimbi yesixhenxe ndandidla ngokuziva ndinyanzelekile ukufumana elinye kwakhona. Ndandidla ngokusela, ndithi folokohlo esihlalweni ndingekho zingqondweni, ndizichamele, ndize ndilale kuloo mchamo de kube yintsasa elandelayo. Khawukuthabathe oku uze ukuphindaphinde ngeentsuku ezisi-7 ngeveki; ukuphindaphinde ngeeveki ezingama-52 ngonyaka; ukuphindaphinde ngeminyaka engama-29.”

LE NDODA ilikhoboka lotywala. Ayiyodwa koku. Izigidi zwenibanzi zizamazamana nale meko ibulalayo, leyo ngokutsho kukaGqr. Vernon E. Johnson, “umntu angena ngokupheleleyo kuyo: ngokwasemzimbeni, ngokwasengqondweni, ngokweemvakalelo nangokomoya.”a

Iingcali ezininzi zithi ukukhotyokiswa butywala akunakunyangwa kodwa kunokupheliswa ngenkqubo yokuzikhwebula kubo ubomi bakho bonke. Le asiyomfuneko ingekho ngqiqweni, kuba utywala asinto iyimfuneko ukuze ubani aphile. Enyanisweni, uThixo akakholiswa ngumntu osebenzisa kakubi utywala. (1 Korinte 6:9, 10) Kulunge kanye ukungena kwihlabathi elitsha likaThixo ungaseli kunokuvumela ukukhotyokiswa butywala bukuphulukanise nobomi obungunaphakade.—Mateyu 5:29, 30.

Ukuphuncula—uze uhlale ukhululekile—ekusebenziseni kakubi utywala ngokufuthi lucelomngeni olunxunguphalisayo. (Thelekisa eyabaseRoma 7:21-24.) Yintoni enokunceda? Makhe sinikele icebiso elithile elingqalileyo. Kwanaxa ungabuseli nje kwaphela utywala, eli cebiso liya kuba nemfundiso kuwe yaye lisenokukwenza ukwazi ukunceda umhlobo othile okanye isalamane esinengxaki yokukhotyokiswa butywala.

Ukuzihlola Ngokunyanisekileyo

Omnye weyona miqobo mikhulu ekoyiseni lo mkhwa kukuyikhanyela inyaniso yokuba ulikhoboka lotywala. Ukukhanyela luhlobo oluthile lokunganyaniseki. Yindlela yokuqiqa ngenjongo eyile: ukukhusela inkululeko yakho yokusela. Usenokuqiqa ngelithi, ‘Andimbi kangako. Ndisenayo intsapho. Ndisabambelele kumsebenzi wam wempangelo.’ Okubaluleke nangakumbi kukuba, usabambelele etywaleni.

Ukukhanyela kusenokukwenza ungafuni ukubaphulaphula abahlobo abafuna ukukunceda. URobert wafumanisa ukuba uyise wesibini womfazi wakhe wayeqalise ukuba nemikhwa engafanelekanga yokusela nokuba krwada. URobert uthi: “Emva kweentsuku ezimbalwa, ndathetha naye, ndimbuza enoba wayevakalelwa kukuba ukusela kwakhe kwakufak’ isandla kusini na kwihambo yakhe.” Waba yintoni umphumo? “Wakhanyela walala ngomqolo, ethetha amazwi anjengala, ‘Akunabungqina’ nokuthi, ‘Akuyazi indlela endivakalelwa ngayo.’”

Ukuba ilungu lentsapho okanye umhlobo oxhalatyiswe kukusela kwakho uza kuwe ukuza kuthetha nawe, zihlole ngokunyanisekileyo. (IMizekeliso 8:33) Ngaba unokuhlala ungaseli tywala iveki yonke, inyanga yonke, okanye iinyanga eziliqela? Ukuba akunjalo, kutheni? Musa ukuba njengendoda ezikhohlisayo. UYakobi uthi: “Lowo ufana nendoda eqiqa ubuso bayo bobuntu esipilini; kuba iyaziqiqa, imke, ilibale kwaoko ukuba ibinjani na.”—Yakobi 1:22-25.

Kwanasemva kokuba uqalisile ukuchacha, kusaya kufuneka ukulumkele ukukhanyela. Incwadi ethi Willpower’s Not Enough icacisa isithi: “Umntu osandul’ ukuzikhwebula kokuthile ngempazamo usenokukholelwa kwelokuba kuba eye wakwazi ukuyeka ukuyisebenzisa loo nto okwethutyana—mhlawumbi okwesihlandlo sokuqala—ngoku unyangekile.” Le yingcinga ekhobokisa ngokugqithiseleyo, yaye linyathelo lokuqala lokubuyel’ umva. Ukuba uza kukuxhathisa ukukhanyela okunjalo, ufanele ungabi wedwa.

Fumana Uncedo

Iqonda ukuba yayingenako ukulwa umlo wokukhotyokiswa butywala iyodwa, indoda esiza kuyibiza ngokuthi nguLeo yafuna uncedo lweengcali. Emva kokufumana unyango olucokisekileyo, yaqalisa ukuchacha. ULeo uvakalelwa kukuba ukubaluleka koncedo lweengcali akunakujongelwa phantsi.b Ukuba uncedo olunjalo luyafumaneka ekuhlaleni, usenokwenza isigqibo sokulusebenzisa ngokuyingenelo.

Noko ke, ufanele uqonde ukuba, kukho okuninzi ofanele ukwenze ukuze uchache kunokuzikhwebula nje kokuthile. Ngaphaya kokukhotyokiswa butywala kusenokwenzeka ukuba kukho iinkalo ezinzulu ngakumbi ekufuneka ujamelane nazo. Ukuzityeshela ezi kunokuba yingozi. UGqr. Charlotte Davis Kasl ubhala oku: “Ndiye ndadlan’ indlebe nabantu abaye bafumana unyango kangangezihlandlo ezilishumi elinesine lokusebenzisa ngokugqithiseleyo okuthile ngenxa yokuba kungakhange kufunyaniswe oyena nobangela wokusebenzisa ngokugqithiseleyo loo nto, wokuxhomekeka kuyo, nokutyeshela izinto ezibalulekileyo.”

UDennis wakufumanisa kuyinyaniso oku. Uyabhala: “Ndandilikhoboka lotywala elalisoloko lisezingqondweni kodwa elaliseneengxaki ezininzi. Kwakunganele ukuyeka ukusela. Kwakufuneka ndiqwalasele okwakwenzeke kum ngaphambili, ndihlolisise oko ndandikufunde ebuntwaneni, ndiqonde indlela okwakundichaphazela ngayo, ndize ndenze iinguqulelo ezithile kwihambo yam.”

Ngokufanayo, uLeo kwafuneka azihlolisise ngokunzulu ukuze aqhubeke echacha. Uthi: “Ndandingumntu onesikhwele ngokugqithiseleyo, onogonyamelo. Maxa wambi ndandiziva ndingaxabisekanga yaye maxa wambi ndifikelwe ziingcinga ezikhohlisayo zokuzibona ndiyingangalala.” ULeo wasebenzisa isiluleko seBhayibhile esikweyabase-Efese 4:22 esithi: “Nimlahle umntu omdala, owonakaliswayo ngokweenkanuko zokulukuhla [ovumelana nehambo yenu yangaphambili, NW].” Ewe, ‘ihambo yakho yangaphambili’ iye yaba nempembelelo enamandla kubuntu bakho. Njengoko udaka lubumbeka ngokwaloo nto lubunjelwa kuyo, ngoko ubuntu bakho ngokuyinxenye buye babunjwa likhondo lakho langaphambili. Xa ihambo ephosakeleyo iyekiwe, yintoni eshiyekileyo? Bubuntu obuye babunjwa mhlawumbi ngaphezu kweminyaka emininzi. Ngoko ke, ukuchacha kufanele kuquke ukuguqula ubuntu obudala obuvumelana nehambo yakho yangaphambili.

Yiba Nolwalamano NoThixo

Kwakhona ukuze uLeo achache kwafuneka ukuba akhulise ulwalamano lobuqu noThixo. Uthi: “Ukuzifundisa ukukholosa ngokupheleleyo ngoYehova kwasiguqula isimo sam sengqondo, ihambo, nendlela endandizibona ngayo izinto.”

Noko ke, kuhle ukuba ngolumkileyo. Naluphi na ulwalamano—nabantu okanye noThixo—lufuna ube ngotyhilekileyo, onyanisekileyo nonokuthenjwa. Ezi ziimpawu kanye eziye zonakaliswa ngokuthe ngcembe kukukhotyokiswa butywala. Zinokuhlakulelwa, kodwa kuthabatha ixesha.

Njengekhoboka lotywala, usenokuba akuyazi indlela ekuvakala ngayo ukuba nolwalamano olusondeleyo nothile. Mhlawumbi awuzange ube nalo. Ngoko yiba nomonde. Musa ukulingxamela eli nyathelo, ulindele ukuba ukuba nolwalamano noThixo kuya kukwenza uzikhwebule ngokuzenzekelayo kokuthile. Yenza umgudu wokumazi uThixo kunye neempawu zakhe. Camngca rhoqo, mhlawumbi ufunde ngenyameko iindumiso zeBhayibhile ezivakalisa iimvakalelo ezinzulu, noxabiso ngoYehova neendlela zakhe.c

“Incamisa Yamandla”

Ukuba nolwalamano olomeleleyo, oluqinileyo noThixo kunokuba nempembelelo enamandla kuwe. UYehova uya kuyixhasa imigudu yakho yokuchacha. (Thelekisa INdumiso 51:10-12; 145:14.) Usenokusondela kuye ngomthandazo onyanisekileyo nanini na, unentembelo yokuba uya kukunika “incamisa yamandla.”—2 Korinte 4:7; Filipi 4:6, 7.

UMdali uyazi indlela obunjwe ngayo ngaphezu kwakhe nabani na. (INdumiso 103:14) Abacebisi abangabantu, abaxhomekeke kubulumko babantu, banokunceda; kodwa hayi indlela uMdali womntu anokukunceda ngakumbi ngayo kulo mlo! (Isaya 41:10; 48:17, 18) Ulungiselele inkxaso enothando ngaphakathi kwibandla lamaKristu.

Inkqubo Yenkxaso

Abadala abakhulileyo ngokomoya kwibandla lamaKristu banokuba ngumthombo omkhulu woncedo. Abambalwa kubo basenokuba banobuchule kwezonyango okanye kwizigulo zengqondo, kodwa bayalazi yaye bakholose ngeLizwi likaThixo nangemigaqo yakhe. Banokungqineka ‘benjengendawo yokuzimela umoya, neyokusithela esiphangweni; babe njengemijelo yamanzi emqwebedwini, njengomthunzi wengxondorha enkulu ezweni elibharhileyo.’ (Isaya 32:2) Lusebenzise ngokuzeleyo uncedo lwabo.d

Kakade ke, abadala abanjalo abangamaKristu, kunye namanye amalungu entsapho nezihlobo, abayi kukukhusela kwimiphumo yezenzo zakho. Impapasho ethi Coming Off Drink icacisa isithi: “Amakhoboka otywala ahlangabezana nemiphumo eyonakalisayo yokuxhomekeka etywaleni aze athwale imbopheleleko yehambo yawo ajamelene nonyango olufuna izixhobo ezikhethekileyo.” Ngoko baya kuba nobubele kodwa bangqale, bekukhuthaza ukuba ujamelane nobunyaniso bezinto uze ubambelele kulo naluphi na unyango nekhondo lehambo elifunekayo ukuze uphumelele kumlo wakho nxamnye notywala.

Ukuchacha Yimbopheleleko Yakho

Ngoxa ungenelwa kwinkxaso yabanye, kufuneka wazi ukuba akukho mntu okanye moya uya kukunyanzela ukuba uchache. Unenkululeko yokuzikhethela ikhondo oya kulilandela. Ngokusisiseko ukuchacha yimbopheleleko yakho. (Thelekisa iGenesis 4:7; Duteronomi 30:19, 20; Filipi 2:12.) Yamkele loo mbopheleleko, yaye uYehova uya kukusikelela. Kweyoku-1 yabaseKorinte 10:13 siyaqinisekiswa: “Anibanjwanga silingo singesesabantu. Uthembekile ke uThixo, ongayi kuvumela ukuba nilingwe ngaphezu kweninako; owothi, kunye nesilingo eso, avelise ithuba lokuphuma kuso, ukuba nibe nako ukuthwala.” Ngoko ke, musa ukunikezela—unako ukuphumelela kumlo wokukhotyokiswa butywala.

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 24]

Mhlawumbi uziva uhlazekile yaye ulusizi ngenxa yoko kuveliswe kukukhotyokiswa butywala. Ukuba kunjalo, musa ukuphelelwa lithemba. Uncedo luyafumaneka.

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 26]

UKUBA UBUYEL’ UMVA

Incwadi ethi Willpower’s Not Enough ithi: “Ukuhlala uzilungiselele imeko yaxa ubuyel’ umva kufana nokuziqeqeshela ukucima umlilo. Oku akuthethi ukuba ulindele umlilo kodwa ulungele ukwenza okufanelekileyo wakuvela.” Ukuba ubuyel’ umva:

□ Thandaza kuYehova. Qiniseka ukuba uyayiqonda ingxaki yakho yaye ufuna ukukunceda.—INdumiso 103:14; Isaya 41:10.

□ Zityand’ igila kumdala ongumKristu, wakuba wenze isigqibo ngalowo uya kuthetha naye kusakubakho imfuneko. Yiba ngonyanisekileyo ekuthetheni oko kwenzekileyo, uze uliphulaphule ngenyameko icebiso lakhe elingokweZibhalo.

□ Zilinde nxamnye nokuphelelwa lithemba. Ukuzithiya kuya kukwenza ube semngciphekweni wokubuyel’ umva ngokupheleleyo, ngoko yiba nesimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo ngempazamo yakho. Ukungaphumeleli kwakho kwelinye idabi akuthethi ukuba woyisakele edabini. Xa imbaleki yomgama omde isiwa, ayibuyeli umva ize iqale ekuqaleni; iyavuka ize iqhubeke nogqatso. Yenza okufanayo ngokuchacha kwakho. Usesendleleni. Zisekho iiveki, iinyanga, okanye iminyaka edluleyo oye wazikhwebula koku.

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 25]

Kuxhathise ukukhanyela ngokuzihlola ngokunyanisekileyo