Ibali Lobomi

“Ndinqwenela Ukuzuza Ukholo Olungenakuphela”!

NGOKUBALISWA NGUHERBERT MÜLLER

Kwiinyanga ezimbalwa emva kokuba umkhosi kaHitler uhlasele elaseNetherlands, amaNgqina kaYehova avalwa umlomo. Kungekudala, igama lam labonakala kuludwe lwamagama abantu ababefunwa ngamaNazi, yaye ndandizingelwa okwenyamakazi.

NGESINYE isihlandlo, ndidikiwe kukuzimela nakukubaleka, ndaxelela umfazi wam ukuba mhlawumbi kungathi qabu nokuba ndinokubanjwa ngumkhosi. Kwandula ke kwathi qatha engqondweni yam amazwi enye ingoma ethi: “Ndinqwenela ukuzuza ukholo olungenakuphela, nangona zonke iintshaba zindicinezela.”a Ukucinga ngaloo ngoma kwandomeleza kwaza kwandikhumbuza abazali bam eJamani, kwandikhumbuza nemini abahlobo bam babendiculela yona besithi ndlela-ntle. Uyafuna ndikubalisele ngezinye zezo zinto ndandizicinga?

Umzekelo Wabazali Bam

Ekuzalweni kwam ngowe-1913 kwidolophu yaseCopitz eJamani, abazali bam babengamalungu eCawa yeVangeli.b Kwiminyaka esixhenxe kamva, ngowe-1920, utata wayiyeka icawa. NgoApril 6, wacela iKirchenaustrittsbescheinigung (Declaration of Withdrawal From the Church [Isindululo Sokurhoxa Ecaweni]). Igosa ledolophu elibhalisayo lamenzela. Noko ke, emva kweveki utata wabuyela eofisini echaza ukuba igama lentombi yakhe lalingabhalwanga kweso sindululo. Eli gosa labhala uxwebhu lwesibini oluchazayo ukuba noMartha Margaretha Müller uyarhoxa ecaweni. Ngelo xesha, udade wethu, uMargaretha wayenonyaka onesiqingatha ubudala. Xa kufikwa kumba wokukhonza uYehova, utata wayengayamkeli imilinganiselo engaphelelanga!

Kwangaloo nyaka, abazali bam babhaptizwa ngaBafundi beBhayibhile, njengoko amaNgqina kaYehova ayesaziwa kanjalo ngelo xesha. UTata wasikhulisa ngendlela engqongqo, kodwa ukunyaniseka kwakhe kuYehova kwenza ukuba kube lula ngathi ukwamkela ukhokelo lwakhe. Ukunyaniseka kwashukumisela abazali bam ukuba benze uhlengahlengiso. Ngokomzekelo, ngaxa lithile sasingavumelekanga ukudlala phandle ngeeCawa. Noko ke, ngenye iCawa ngowe-1925, abazali bethu basixelela ukuba siza kuphuma sibethwe ngumoya. Sathabatha amashwamshwam sahamba nawo yaye saba nethuba elimnandi—olunjani lona utshintsho kuthi thina sasiqhele ukuvalelwa endlwini imini yonke! UTata wathi ufunde okuthile kwindibano ebesandul’ ukuya kuyo yaye oko kuye kwayilungisa imbono yakhe ngemisebenzi eyenziwa ngeCawa. Njengoko wayeqhele ukwenza ngezinye izihlandlo, wakulungela ukwenza uhlengahlengiso.

Nangona abazali bam babenempilo enkenenkene, umsebenzi wokushumayela wawungabaphosi. Ngokomzekelo, ngenye ingokuhlwa sakhwela uloliwe ukuze siye kusasaza iphecana elithi Ecclesiastics Indicted sihamba nebandla, saya kwidolophu yaseRegensburg ekumgama oziikhilomitha ezingama-300 ukusuka eDresden. Ngemini elandelayo, sasasaza amaphecana kwidolophu yonke, saza sakugqiba sagoduka kwangololiwe. Xa sifika ekhaya, kwakusele kudlule iiyure eziphantse zibe ngama-24.

Ukumka Ekhaya

Ukunxulumana kwam neJugendgruppe (Youth Group [iQela Lolutsha]) ebandleni lethu nako kwandinceda ukuba ndikhule ngokomoya. Veki nganye, abaselula abaneminyaka engaphezu kwe-14 ubudala babehlanganisana nabanye abazalwana basebandleni abakhulileyo. Sasiye sidlale, sicule ngezixhobo zomculo, sifundisise iBhayibhile size sithethe ngendalo nenzululwazi. Noko ke, ngowe-1932, xa ndandineminyaka eli-19 ubudala ndayeka ukunxulumana neqela.

NgoAprili waloo nyaka, uTata wafumana ileta evela kwiofisi yesebe yeWatch Tower Society yaseMagdeburg. UMbutho wawufuna umntu okwaziyo ukuqhuba inqwelo-mafutha nofuna ukuba nguvulindlela. Ndandisazi ukuba lowo yayingumnqweno wabazali bam ukuba ndibe nguvulindlela, kodwa ndandivakalelwa kukuba ndandingenakukwazi. Ekubeni abazali bam babengamahlwempu, xa ndandineminyaka eli-14 ubudala ndaqalisa ukulungisa iibhayisikile, oomatshini bokuthunga nabokuchwetheza nezinye izixhobo ezisetyenziswa eofisini. Ndandiza kuyishiya njani intsapho yakowethu? Yayiyifuna inkxaso yam. Ngaphezulu, ndandingekabhaptizwa. UTata wahlala phantsi nam waza wandibuza imibuzo ethile ukuze abone ukuba ndiyakuqonda na okubandakanyekileyo ekubhaptizweni. Akweyiseka ngokusuka kwiimpendulo zam ukuba ndikhule ngokwaneleyo ngokomoya ukuba ndingabhaptizwa, wathi: “Ufanele uzinikele kwesi sabelo.” Ndenjenjalo.

Emva kweveki ndafumana isimemo sokuya eMagdeburg. Ndathi ndakuxelela abahlobo bam kwiQela Lolutsha, bafuna ukuthi ndlela-ntle ngengoma echwayitisayo. Bamangaliswa kukubona ingoma endayikhethayo ngenxa yokuba babeyigqala njengengoma enesidima kakhulu. Sekunjalo, abanye bathabatha iivayolin neziginkci zabo, baza bacula bonke besithi: “Ndinqwenela ukuzuza ukholo olungenakuphela, nangona zonke iintshaba zindicinezela; olungayi kugungqa ngenxa kayeha wasemhlabeni.” Ngaloo mini, ndandingayiqondi indlela loo mazwi ayeya kundomeleza ngokufuthi ngayo kwiminyaka ezayo.

Isiqalo Esimaxongo

Emva kokuba abazalwana baseMagdeburg bevavanye indlela endiqhuba ngayo, basinika inqwelo-mafutha, mna nabanye abazalwana abane yaye saya eSchneifel kufuphi naseBelgium. Kungekudala safumanisa ukuba loo nqwelo-mafutha yethu yayiyimfuneko. ICawa yamaKatolika eyayikuloo mmandla yayingafuni nokusibona, yaye abantu ababehlala kuloo dolophu, bephenjelelwa ngabefundisi, babesilalela ukuze basisukele. Amaxesha amaninzi, inqwelo-mafutha yayisinceda ukuba bangasifumani ngamagaba neefolokhwe zabo.

Emva kweSikhumbuzo sowe-1933, umveleli wenqila, uPaul Grossmann, wasixelela ukuba umsebenzi woMbutho uvaliwe eJamani. Kungekudala emva koko, iofisi yesebe yandicela ukuba ndize nenqwelo-mafutha eMagdeburg, ndithabathe uncwadi apho, ndiluse eSaxony, eyayikumgama omalunga neekhilomitha ezili-100 ukusuka eMagdeburg. Noko ke, ekufikeni kwam eMagdeburg, iGestapo (amapolisa amaNazi awayesebenza emfihlekweni) yayisele iyivalile iofisi yoMbutho. Ndashiya inqwelo-mafutha eLeipzig ndaza ndabuyela ekhaya—kodwa okwexeshana.

Iofisi yoMbutho yaseSwitzerland yandimemela ukuba ndiye kuqalisa ubuvulindlela eNetherlands. Ndaceba ukuba ndihambe kwisithuba seveki okanye ezimbini. Noko ke, uTata wandicebisa ukuba ndihambe ngelo xesha. Ndalamkela icebiso lakhe, yaye emva kweeyure ezimbalwa ndemka ekhaya. Ngemini elandelayo, kwafika amapolisa ekhaya eze kundibamba ngesityholo sokuyeka emkhosini ngaphandle kwemvume. Afika emva kwesithonga.

Ukuqalisa ENetherlands

NgoAgasti 15, 1933, ndafika kwikhaya loovulindlela eHeemstede, idolophu ekumgama oziikhilomitha ezingama-25 ukusuka eAmsterdam. Ngemini elandelayo, ndaphuma ndaya kushumayela ndingazi nowathwethwa kulwimi lwesiDatshi. Ndaqalisa, ndiphethe iqweqwe lokunikela ubungqina, elalinesigidimi esishicilelweyo. Hayi indlela endakhuthazeka ngayo xa elinye ibhinqa elingumKatolika lamkela incwadi ethi Reconciliation! Kwangaloo mini, ndahambisa neencwadana ezingama-27. Ekupheleni kolo suku lokuqala, ndachwayita kukuba ndikwazi ukushumayela ngenkululeko kwakhona.

Ngezo ntsuku, oovulindlela babengafumani ngeniso ngaphandle kweminikelo eyayifunyanwa xa uhambise uncwadi. Loo mali kwakuthengwa ngayo ukutya nezinye izinto eziyimfuneko. Xa kukho imadlana eseleyo ekupheleni kwenyanga, oovulindlela babesahlulelana ngayo ukuze bahlangabezane neendleko zabo zobuqu. Sasingenazinto zingako ziphathekayo, kodwa uYehova wayesinyamekela kakuhle kangangokuba ngowe-1934, ndakwazi ukuya kwindibano eyayiseSwitzerland.

Iqabane Elithembekileyo

Endibanweni ndabona uErika Finke owayeneminyaka eli-18 ubudala. Ndandimazi kwakudala ndisesekhaya. Wayengumhlobo kadade wethu, uMargaretha, yaye ndandisoloko ndichukunyiswa kukumela kukaErika inyaniso ngokuqinileyo. Kungekudala emva kokubhaptizwa kwakhe ngowe-1932, mntu uthile waxelela iGestapo ukuba uErika walile ukuthi “Heil Hitler!” IGestapo yamlandela yaza yafuna ukwazi isizathu sokuba ale. UErika wafundela ipolisa IZenzo 17:3 kwisikhululo samapolisa waza wachaza ukuba uThixo unyule uMsindisi omnye, uYesu Kristu. “Bakho abanye abaneenkolelo ezifana nezakho?” eli polisa labuza. UErika akazange avume ukuchaza amagama. Lathi ipolisa lakumgrogrisa ngokumvalela, uErika walixelela ukuba uxolele ukufa kunokuba achaze amagama. Lamthi ntsho laza lamngxolisa lisithi: “Phuma. Goduka. Hamb’ okhahlela uHitler!”

Emva kwendibano, ndabuyela eNetherlands ngoxa uErika wayehlala eSwitzerland. Noko ke, sobabini sasivakalelwa kukuba ubuhlobo bethu buqinile. Ngoxa wayeseSwitzerland, uErika weva ukuba iGestapo iyamfuna ekhaya. Wagqiba kwelokuba ahlale eSwitzerland abe nguvulindlela. Kwiinyanga ezimbalwa kamva, uMbutho wamcela ukuba aye eSpeyin. Waba nguvulindlela eMadrid, emva koko waya eBilbao, wandula ke waya eSan Sebastián, apho abefundisi baphembelela intshutshiso eyabangela ukuba yena nalowo wayenguvulindlela naye bafakwe entolongweni. Ngowe-1935 banikwa umyalelo wokuba bemke eSpeyin. UErika weza eNetherlands, yaye satshata kwangaloo nyaka.

Kunuka Imfazwe

Emva kokuba sitshatile, saba ngoovulindlela eHeemstede, saza kamva safudukela kwisixeko saseRotterdam. Unyana wethu uWolfgang wazalelwa apho ngowe-1937. Emva konyaka safudukela kwisixeko saseGroningen, kumntla weNetherlands, apho sahlala noovulindlela abathetha isiJamani uFerdinand noHelga Holtorf nentombi yabo. NgoJulayi 1938 uMbutho wasixelela ukuba urhulumente waseNetherlands ukhuphe isilumkiso sokuba amaNgqina aseJamani ngokuzalwa ayengavunyelwanga ukuba ashumayele. Malunga nelo xesha linye, ndamiselwa njengesicaka secandelo (umveleli wesiphaluka), yaye intsapho yam yafudukela kwiLichtdrager (iLightbearer), isikhephe soMbutho esasilikhaya loovulindlela ababeshumayela kumntla weNetherlands. Amaxesha amaninzi, ndandingabi kunye nentsapho yam, ndandihamba ngebhayisikile ndiye emabandleni ukuze ndikhuthaze abazalwana ukuba baqhubeke beshumayela. Yaye abazalwana babesenza loo nto kanye. Abanye bada bawandisa nomsebenzi wabo. UWim Kettelarij wayengumzekelo omhle.

Ukudibana kwam noWim, wayesengumfana yaye wayeyiqonda inyaniso kodwa wayexakeke kakhulu esebenza efama. Ndamcebisa ndathi: “Ukuba ufuna ukufumana ixesha lokukhonza uYehova, funa omnye umsebenzi.” Wenjenjalo. Kamva, xa siphinda sidibana, ndamkhuthaza ukuba abe nguvulindlela. “Kodwa kufuneka ndisebenze ukuze nditye,” waphendula ngelitshoyo. “Uya kutya,” ndamqinisekisa ndatsho. “UYehova uya kukunyamekela.” UWim waqalisa ukuba nguvulindlela. Kamva, kwanasebudeni beMfazwe Yehlabathi II, wayekhonza njengomveleli ohambahambayo. Namhlanje, uWim ukwiminyaka yama-80, useliNgqina elinenzondelelo. Eneneni uYehova wamnyamekela.

Ukuvalwa Komsebenzi Nokufunwa

NgoMeyi 1940, kwisithuba esingangonyaka emva kokuba umntwana wethu wesibini uReina ezelwe, umkhosi waseNetherlands wanikezela yaye kwangena amaNazi eNetherlands. NgoJulayi iGestapo yahlutha iofisi yoMbutho nendawo yokushicilela. Kunyaka olandelayo, kwabanjwa amaNgqina aliqela, nam ndabanjwa. Ekubeni ndandiliNgqina laseJamani elalisexabisweni lokuya emkhosini, yacaca mhlophe kum into eyayiza kwenziwa yiGestapo ngam. Ndazama ukuyamkela into yokuba andisayi kuze ndiphinde ndiyibone intsapho yam kwakhona.

Kwandula ke ngoMeyi 1941, iGestapo yandikhulula entolongweni yaza yandinika imiyalelo yokuba ndiye kungenela inkonzo yasemkhosini. Andizange ndikukholelwe oko. Ndaphel’ emehlweni ngaloo mini kanye, yaye kwangaloo nyanga ndaphindela kumsebenzi wesiphaluka. IGestapo yandifaka kuludwe lwabantu abafunwayo.

Indlela Intsapho Yam Eyahlangabezana Ngayo Noku

Inkosikazi yam nabantwana babefudukele kwidolophana yaseVorden kummandla okwimpuma yelizwe. Noko ke, ukuze ndingababeki esichengeni, kwafuneka ndiye manqaphanqapha ekhaya. (Mateyu 10:16) Ngezizathu zokhuseleko, abazalwana babengalisebenzisi igama lam lenkobe, babesebenzisa igama elingelolam uDuitse Jan (uGerman John). Kwanonyana wam owayeneminyaka emine ubudala, uWolfgang, wayengavumelekanga ukuthetha ngo-“Tata” kodwa wayethetha ngo-“Ome Jan” (uTat’ uJohn). Yayibuhlungu gqitha loo nto kuye.

Ngoxa ndandisihla ndinyuka, uErika wayenyamekela abantwana ibe waqhubeka nokushumayela. Xa uReina wayeneminyaka emibini ubudala, uErika wayembeka kwindawo yomthwalo ebhayisikileni ahambe naye aye kushumayela emaphandleni. Nangona kwakunzima ukufumana ukutya, akuzange kumnqabele kangako uErika ukutya kokondla intsapho. (Mateyu 6:33) Umfama ongumKatolika, endandikhe ndamlungisela umatshini wokuthunga, wayemnika iitapile. Wayedlulisela nemiyalezo yam kuErika. Ngesinye isihlandlo, wahlawula i-gulden enye (R3) ngento awayeye kuyithenga ekhemisti. Umnini-khemisti, esazi ukuba wayezimele yaye wayengakwazi ukufumana amaqweqwe ekwakufunyanwa ngawo ukutya, wamnika loo nto wayeye kuyithenga kunye nee-gulden ezimbini (R6). Izenzo ezinjalo zovelwano zamnceda ukuze aqhubeke ephila.—Hebhere 13:5.

Ukusebenza Ngaxhatha-linye Nabazalwana Abanenkalipho

Ngelo xesha, ndaqhubeka ndityelela amabandla—nangona ndandiqhagamshelana nabazalwana abaphathiswe iimbopheleleko kuphela. Ngenxa yokuba iGestapo yayihleli isemva kwam, ndandingenakuhlala iiyure ezininzi ndawonye. Inkoliso yabazalwana noodade yayingavumelekanga ukuba idibane nam. Yayiqhele loo maNgqina akumaqela ayo amancinane esifundo seBhayibhile. Ngenxa yoko, umntu nodade wabo babehlala kwiindawo ezahlukahlukeneyo kwisixeko esinye yaye bafumanisa emva kweMfazwe Yehlabathi II ukuba bobabini baba ngamaNgqina ebudeni bemfazwe.

Omnye wemisebenzi yam yayikukufumana indawo yokufihla uncwadi loMbutho. Sasifihla iphepha, oomatshini bokushicilela, noomatshini bokuchwetheza bokwenza imibhalo yeMboniselo, ukwenzela xa kuye kwenzeka bafuneka. Maxa wambi, kwakuye kufuneke sisuse iincwadi ezishicilelwe nguMbutho kwenye indawo efihlakeleyo sizise kwenye. Ndikhumbula ngesinye isihlandlo ndihambisa iibhokisi ezingama-30 ezazizele luncwadi ngoxa kwangaxeshanye ndizama ukuba ndingabonwa—onjani wona ukoyikisa umsebenzi!

Ukongezelela, salungiselela ukuba kuthatyathwe ukutya kwiifama ezikwimpuma yeNetherlands kusiwe kwizixeko ezisentshona, nangona oku kwakungavumelekanga. Sasilayisha ukutya kwinqwelo etsalwa ngamahashe size sisinge ngasentshona. Xa sifika emlanjeni, sasingakwazi ukusebenzisa nanye ibhulorho kuba kwakukho amajoni kuzo. Kunoko, sasithula imithwalo siyifake kwizikhephe ezincinane, sithuthe ukutya sikuweze umlambo, emva koko siphinde siyilayishe kwenye inqwelo. Xa sifika kwisixeko esiya kuso, sasilinda kube mnyama, sifake iikawusi kwiimpuphu zamahashe, size siye kwindawo efihlakeleyo ekothulwa kuyo ukutya kwebandla ngaphandle kokwenza ingxolo. Ukusuka apho, ukutya kwakusasazwa kubazalwana abasweleyo.

Ukuba umkhosi waseJamani wawunokuyibona loo ndawo kothulwa kuyo ukutya, kwakuya kufa umntu. Sekunjalo, abazalwana abaliqela babezinikela ukuba bancedise. Ngokomzekelo intsapho yakwaBloemink kwidolophu yaseAmersfoort, yanikela ngegumbi layo lokuhlala ukuba lisetyenziselwe ukugcina ukutya, nangona indlu yayo yayikufuphi gqitha kwindawo eyayihlala umkhosi waseJamani! AmaNgqina anenkalipho njengala abeka ubomi bawo esichengeni ngenxa yabazalwana bawo.

UYehova wandinceda mna nenkosikazi yam ukuba sihlale sithembekile ukutyhubela loo minyaka yokuvalwa komsebenzi. NgoMeyi 1945 umkhosi wamaJamani woyiswa, ndaba ndiyayeka ke ukuhla ndinyuka. UMbutho wandicela ukuba ndiqhubeke ndikhonza njengomveleli ohambahambayo de kufumaneke abanye abazalwana. Ngowe-1947, uBertus van der Bijl wangena ezihlangwini zam.c Ngelo xesha, kwazalwa umntwana wethu wesithathu, saza sahlala kwimpuma yelizwe.

Usizi Novuyo

Emva kwemfazwe, ndafumanisa ukuba malunga nonyaka emva kokumka kwam ekhaya ndisiya eNetherlands, uTata wavalelwa entolongweni. Wakhululwa kabini ngenxa yempilo enkenenkene, kodwa sihlandlo ngasinye kwezo waphinda wavalelwa entolongweni kwakhona. NgoFebruwari 1938, wathunyelwa kwinkampu yoxinaniso eBuchenwald waza emva koko wathunyelwa eDachau. NgoMeyi 14, 1942, utata wafela apho. Wahlala omelele yaye enyanisekile de kwasekupheleni.

NoMama wathunyelwa kwinkampu yaseDachau. Wahlala apho de wakhululwa ngowe-1945. Ekubeni umzekelo wokomelela kwabazali bam bobabini waba negalelo kwiintsikelelo zokomoya endiye ndazinandipha, kwaba lilungelo ukuba sibize uMama aze kuhlala nathi ngowe-1954. Udade wethu uMargaretha—owayenguvulindlela kwiMpuma Jamani YamaKomanisi ukususela ngowe-1945—naye weza. Nangona umama wayegula yaye engakwazi ukuthetha isiDatshi, waqhubeka esiba nesabelo kwinkonzo yasentsimini de waligqiba ikhondo lakhe lasemhlabeni ngokuthembeka ngo-Oktobha 1957.

Indibano yowe-1955 yaseNuremberg, eJamani, yaba yekhethekileyo. Emva kokuba sifikile apho, abazalwana abavela eDresden baxelela uErika ukuba unina ukho naye endibanweni. Ekubeni iDresden yayiphantsi kolawulo lweMpuma Jamani, uErika wayengazange ambone unina kangangeminyaka engama-21. Kwalungiselelwa ukuba badibane, intombi nonina bawolana. Esinjani ukuvuyisa isihlandlo sokudibana kwakhona!

Ekuhambeni kwexesha, intsapho yethu yanda yaba nabantwana abasibhozo. Okubuhlungu kukuba, omnye unyana wethu wafa kwingozi yenqwelo-mafutha. Noko ke, ukubona bonke abantwana bethu abaseleyo bekhonza uYehova kungumthombo wovuyo olungathethekiyo. Siyavuya kuba unyana wethu uWolfgang nenkosikazi yakhe bakumsebenzi wesiphaluka yaye unyana wabo ukhonza njengomveleli wesiphaluka.

Ndinombulelo kuba ndiye ndabona inkqubela yomsebenzi kaYehova eNetherlands. Ekuqaliseni kwam ukuba nguvulindlela apha ngowe-1933, kwakukho amaNgqina amalunga nekhulu. Namhlanje, angaphezu kwama-30 000. Nangona ngoku amandla omzimba ephela, mna noErika sisazimisele ukuphila ngamazwi engoma yakudala: “Ndinqwenela ukuzuza ukholo olungenakuphela.”

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 23]

I-“Jugendgruppe” ebudeni bekhefu emva kwenkonzo yasentsimini

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 24]

Mna kunye noovulindlela endandisebenza nabo sagubungela intsimi yaseSchneifel. Ndandineminyaka engama-20 ubudala

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 25]

Ndikunye noErika noWolfgang ngowe-1940

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 26]

Ukusuka ngasekhohlo ukuya ngasekunene: Ngumzukulwana wam uJonathan nenkosikazi yakhe, uMirjam; nguErika, ndim, nonyana wam uWolfgang nenkosikazi yakhe, uJulia

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 26]

Umzalwana owayesentolongweni notata wenza lo mzobo wakhe ngowe-1941