Iinzuzo Zokudala Uxolo

UED wayesifa, yaye uBill wayemcaphukela. Kumashumi amabini eminyaka eyadlulayo, uEd wenza isigqibo esabangela uBill aphulukane nomsebenzi wakhe wempangelo, yaye oko kwaphelisa ubuhlobo obabuphakathi kwaba bahlobo babini basenyongweni. Ngoku uEd wazama ukucela uxolo ukuze afe eseluxolweni. Noko ke, uBill akazange afune ukumxolela.

Phantse iminyaka enokuba ngama-30 kamva uBill xa wayeza kufa, wachaza isizathu sokuba wayengafuni ukumxolela. “Kwakungeyomfuneko ukuba uEd enze oko wakwenzayo kumhlobo wakhe osenyongweni. Ndandingafuni ukumxolela emva kweminyaka engamashumi amabini. . . . Kusenokwenzeka ukuba ndenza into ephosakeleyo, kodwa leyo yindlela endandivakalelwa ngayo.”a

Iingxabano azidli ngokuba nemiphumo emibi ngolo hlobo, kodwa zidla ngokubangela abantu bakhubeke okanye bacaphuke. Cinga ngomntu ovakalelwa ngendlela efanayo noEd. Eqonda ukuba isigqibo sakhe senze umonakalo, umntu onjalo usenokuhlala etyiwa sisazela aze aphulukane nobuhlobo ebenabo naloo mntu. Sekunjalo, usaziva buhlungu xa ecinga ngendlela umhlobo wakhe omkhubekisileyo awabuphelisa ngayo ubuhlobo babo ngokungathi bebuyinto nje engabalulekanga enokulahlwa njengenkunkuma.

Noko ke, umntu ovakalelwa ngendlela efanayo noBill, uzibona njengexhoba elimsulwa yaye oku kusenokumbangela acaphuke kakhulu aze abe nengqumbo. Ngokwendlela izinto yena azibona ngayo, lowo ebengumhlobo wakhe akazange anyaniseke yaye kusenokwenzeka ukuba umkhubekise ngabom. Ngokufuthi, xa abantu ababini bexabene, ngamnye uqinisekile ukuba akenzanga nto iphosakeleyo yaye ngomnye umntu obekek’ ityala. Ngenxa yoko, abantu ababengabahlobo bazifumanisa, ngokungathi kunjalo, besemfazweni.

Baqhubeka bengathethisani—omnye ujonga ecaleni xa edibana nomnye, yaye bayaphephana xa bephakathi kweqela labantu. Xa bekude, bajongana ngezikhondo zamehlo. Xa kwenzekile ukuba bathethe kunye, bayagrwangxulana okanye bathethe amazwi ahlaba njengentshuntshe.

Ukanti, ngoxa bechasene, kusenokwenzeka ukuba bayavumelana kwimibandela ethile. Basenokuqonda ukuba baneengxaki ezinzulu yaye kubuhlungu ukwahlukana nomhlobo osenyongweni. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba bobabini bayaweva amanxeba okubamba isixhiba, yaye bobabini bayazi ukuba bafanele benze okuthile ukuze bapholise loo manxeba. Kodwa ngubani oza kuthabatha inyathelo lokuqala ukuze baphinde babe ngabahlobo kwakhona aze adale uxolo? Akakho ofuna ukwenza oko.

Kwiminyaka engamawaka amabini eyadlulayo, maxa wambi abapostile bakaYesu Kristu babexambulisana. (Marko 10:35-41; Luka 9:46; 22:24) Ngesinye isihlandlo emva kokuxabana kwabo, uYesu wathi: “Benixoxisana ngantoni endleleni?” Beneentloni, akakho owaphendulayo. (Marko 9:33, 34) Iimfundiso zikaYesu zabanceda ukuba baziphelise ezo ngxabano. Isiluleko sakhe, nezabafundi bakhe, zisaqhubeka zinceda abantu bacombulule iingxabano baze baphinde babe ngabahlobo. Makhe sibone indlela esinokukwenza ngayo oku.

Zabalazela Ukudala Uxolo

“Andifuni nokuphinda ndimbone loo mntu.” Ukuba wakhe wavakalelwa ngale ndlela ngomntu othile, ufanele wenze okuthile, njengoko iingxelo ezilandelayo zeBhayibhile zibonisa.

UYesu wafundisa esithi: “Ukuba, ngoko, uzisa isipho sakho esibingelelweni, uthi ulapho ukhumbule ukuba umzalwana wakho unento ngakuwe, sishiye isipho sakho apho phambi kwesibingelelo, uze uhambe uye kuxolelana nomzalwana wakho kuqala.” (Mateyu 5:23, 24) Kwakhona wathi: “Ukuba umzalwana wakho wenza isono, yiya usidandalazise isiphoso sakhe phakathi kwakho naye ninedwa.” (Mateyu 18:15) Enoba ukhubekise umntu othile okanye loo mntu nguye okukhubekisileyo, amazwi kaYesu agxininisa ukubaluleka kokuba wena uthethe naloo mntu ngokukhawuleza. Ufanele ukwenze oko “ngomoya wobulali.” (Galati 6:1) Usukelo lwakho xa uthetha na lo mntu, asikokuzikhusela, uzithethelela izenzo zakho okanye unyanzele loo mntu ukuba yena acele uxolo, kodwa kukudala uxolo. Ngaba siyasebenza esi siluleko seBhayibhile?

UErnest ungumphathi kwiofisi enkulu.b Kangangeminyaka emininzi, umsebenzi awenzayo ubandakanya imibandela enobuzaza nabantu abahlukahlukeneyo nokuba nolwalamano oluhle nabo. Uye wabona indlela ezinokuqalisa ngokulula ngayo iingxabano. Uthi: “Ndiye ndaxabana nabanye ngamanye amaxesha. Kodwa xa oku kusenzeka, ndihlala phantsi naloo mntu size sithethe ngaloo ngxaki. Yiya ngokuthe ngqo kwabo bantu. Yiya kubo, unenjongo yokudala uxolo. Aliwi phantsi elo cebo.”

UAlicia unabahlobo abaneemvelaphi ezahlukahlukeneyo, yaye uthi: “Maxa wambi ndithetha into ethile, ndize ndivakalelwe kukuba kusenokwenzeka ukuba ndimkhubekisile loo mntu ndithetha naye. Ndiya kuye ndize ndicele uxolo. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba ndicela uxolo ngokufuthi kunoko ndifanele ndikwenze kuba enoba loo mntu akakhubekanga, ndiziva ndivuya xa ndiye ndacela uxolo. Ngoko ke ndiyazi ukuba akukho ukungaqondani.”

Ukoyisa Imiqobo

Noko ke, kudla ngokubakho imiqobo ethile ebangela kube nzima ukudala uxolo xa kukho iingxabano. Ngaba wakhe wathi: “Kutheni ifanele ibe ndim odala uxolo kuqala? Nguye nje odale le ngxaki kwasekuqaleni.” Okanye ngaba wakha waya kumntu othile ukuze ucombulule ingxaki ethile aze loo mntu aphendule ngokuthi: “Andifuni kuthetha nawe”? Abanye abantu basabela ngale ndlela ngenxa yokuba bekhathazeke kakhulu. IMizekeliso 18:19 ithi: “Umzalwana ekunxaxhwe nxamnye naye ungaphezu kwedolophu eyomeleleyo; yaye kukho usukuzwano olunjengomvalo wenqaba yokuhlala.” Ngoko ke mcingele loo mntu. Ukuba ukukhaba ngawo omane, linda okwexeshana uze uphinde uzame. Ngoko ‘idolophu eyomeleleyo’ inokuvulwa yaye ‘umvalo’ unokususwa nize nixolelane.

Omnye umqobo othintela uxolo unokubandakanya isidima saloo mntu. Kwabanye abantu kulihlazo ukucela uxolo okanye ukuthetha naloo mntu ukonileyo. Kufanelekile ukuba umntu abe nenkxalabo ngesidima sakhe, kodwa ngaba ukungafuni ukudala uxolo kumenza umntu abe nesidima okanye kumthoba isidima? Ngaba kusenokwenzeka ukuba ngokwenene ixhala esinalo lokugcina isidima sethu libangelwa likratshi?

Umbhali weBhayibhile uYakobi ubonisa ukuba kukho ulwalamano phakathi komoya wengxabano nekratshi. Emva kokuba ethethe ‘ngeemfazwe’ kwakunye “neengxabano” ezikhoyo phakathi kwamaKristu, uqhubeka esithi: “UThixo ubachasile abanekratshi, kodwa ubanika ububele obungasifanelanga abathobekileyo.” (Yakobi 4:1-3, 6) Ikratshi liba ngumqobo njani ekudaleni uxolo?

Ikratshi liqhatha abantu, libenza bakholelwe ekubeni babhetele kunabanye. Abanekratshi bavakalelwa kukuba banegunya lokugweba abanye abantu. Njani? Xa kukho iingxabano, badla ngokubagqala abo baxabene nabo njengooncanyelweni. Ikratshi libangela abanye abantu babajonge abo baxabene nabo njengabangafanelwe bahoywe, singasathethi ke ngokucela uxolo kubo. Ngenxa yoko, abo banekratshi badla ngokuvumela iingxabano ziqhubeke kunokuba bazicombulule kakuhle.

Kanye njengomqobo othile kuhola wendlela obangela iimoto ukuba zime ngxi, ikratshi lidla ngokuwamisa ngxi amanyathelo okudala uxolo. Ngoko ke ukuba uzibona uyixhathisa imigudu yokudala uxolo nomnye umntu, kusenokwenzeka ukuba unengxaki yekratshi. Unokuloyisa njani ikratshi? Ngokuhlakulela uphawu olwahlukileyo kulo—ukuthobeka.

Bonakalisa Ukuthobeka

IBhayibhile ikukhuthaza gqitha ukubonakalisa ukuthobeka. “Umphumo wentobeko nokoyika uYehova bubutyebi, uzuko nobomi.” (IMizekeliso 22:4) KwiNdumiso 138:6, sifunda ngembono uThixo anayo ngabantu abathobekileyo nabanekratshi: “UYehova uphakamile, ukanti uyambona othobekileyo; kodwa ophakamileyo umazela mgama kuphela.”

Abantu abaninzi bafanisa ukuthobeka nokuzithob’ isidima. Abalawuli behlabathi badla ngokuvakalelwa ngale ndlela. Nangona iintlanga zonke zizithoba kuzo, iinkokeli zobupolitika azikwazi ukuzivuma ngokuthobekileyo iimpazamo zazo. Ingumnqa into yokuba uve umphathi othile esithi, “Ndicela uxolo.” Omnye owayesakuba ngumphathi karhulumente kutshanje uye wacela uxolo ngempazamo ayenzileyo kwintlekele ebangele ukuba kufe abantu, amazwi akhe aphuma kumxholo ophambili ezindabeni.

Phawula indlela esinye isichazi-magama esikuchaza ngayo ukuthobeka: “Luphawu lokululama . . . olwahlukileyo kwikratshi.” Ngoko ukuthobeka kuchaza indlela ubani azijonga ngayo, kungekhona indlela abanye abamjonga ngayo. Ukuzivuma ngokuthobeka iimpazamo zakhe aze acele uxolo akumthobi isidima umntu; kunoko, kumenzela igama elihle. IBhayibhile ithi: “Phambi kokuwa intliziyo yomntu iphakamile, yaye phambi kozuko kukho intobeko.”—IMizekeliso 18:12.

Ngokuphathelele abantu bezobupolitika abangaceli uxolo ngeempazamo zabo, omnye utitshala wathi: “Okubuhlungu kukuba bacinga ukuba xa bezivuma iimpazamo zabo oko kubonisa ubuthathaka. Abantu ababuthathaka nabanganqabisekanga abadli ngokuthi, ‘Ndicela uxolo.’ Ngabantu abanovelwano nabanenkalipho abangazithob’ isidima ngokuthi, ‘Ndenze impazamo.’” Kuyafana nangabo bangengabo abezobupolitika. Ukuba wenza unako-nako ukuze uthobeke kunokuba ube nekratshi, oko kuvula amathuba amaninzi okudala uxolo xa kukho ingxabano. Phawula indlela enye intsapho yakubona ngayo ukunyanisa koku.

Kwabakho ingxabano enkulu phakathi kukaJulie nomntakwabo uWilliam. UWilliam wamqumbela kanobom uJulie nomyeni wakhe, uJoseph, kangangokuba akazange aphinde aqhagamshelane nabo. Wada wabuyisa nezipho awazifumana kuJulie noJoseph kwiminyaka eyadlulayo. Njengoko iinyanga zihamba, ingqumbo yaluphelisa ulwalamano lo mntu nodade wabo.

Noko ke, uJoseph wagqiba kwelokuba asebenzise uMateyu 5:23, 24. Wazama ngobulali ukuya kusibali wakhe waza wamthumelela ileta ecela uxolo ngokumkhubekisa. UJoseph wakhuthaza umfazi wakhe ukuba amxolele umntakwabo. Ekuhambeni kwexesha, uWilliam wabona ukuba uJulie noJoseph bafuna ukudala uxolo ngokunyanisekileyo, yaye intliziyo yakhe yathamba. UWilliam nomfazi wakhe badibana noJulie noJoseph; bacela uxolo, bangana baza baphinda baba ngabahlobo kwakhona.

Ukuba uyakunqwenela ukucombulula ingxaki ethile nomnye umntu, ngomonde sebenzisa iimfundiso zeBhayibhile uze ukulwele ukudala uxolo naloo mntu. UYehova uya kukunceda. Oko uThixo akuthethayo kuSirayeli wamandulo kuya kuzaliseka kwimeko yakho: “Ukuba nje kuphela okunene ubunganikela ingqalelo kwimiyalelo yam! Ngoko uxolo lwakho beluya kuba njengomlambo.”—Isaya 48:18.

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

[Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 7]

Ukucela uxolo kudla ngokukubangela ube nolwalamano oluseluxolweni kwakhona nabanye