Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .

Ndinokusondelelana Njani Nomakhulu Notatomkhulu?

“Umakhulu notatomkhulu bayathanda ukubalisa amabali. Amabali abo andinceda ndiyiqonde indlela endivakalelwa ngayo.”—Joshua.

KWAKUKHO ixesha apho kwakuqhelekile ukuba izizukulwana ezahlukahlukeneyo zentsapho zihlale kunye ngokusondeleleneyo—ngokuqhelekileyo kwikhaya elinye. Kwakulisiko ukuba ubani abe nolwalamano olusondeleyo nomakhulu notatomkhulu wakhe.

Kule mihla siphila kuyo, ukuqelelana kunokubahlula abantu abaselula koomakhulu nootatomkhulu babo. Ngaphezu koko, iintsapho ezininzi ziye zathwaxwa luqhawulo-mtshato. IThe Toronto Star yathi “oomakhulu nootatomkhulu banokuba ngamaxhoba oqhawulo-mtshato baze bangavunyelwa ukuba babone abazukulwana ababathandayo.” Kwezinye iimeko, ingxaki kukuba abantu abaselula abaninzi banembono ephosakeleyo ngabantu abadala, babajonga njengabangazi nto, abaneembono, imilinganiselo kunye nomdla kwizinto ezahlukileyo kwezabo. Umphumo ube yintoni? Ulutsha oluninzi alusondelelananga noomakhulu nootatomkhulu balo ngendlela ebekufanele kube yiyo.

Yintlungu noko le. Njengoko inqaku elandulelayo kolu ngcelele liye labonisa, ukusondelelana nomakhulu notatomkhulu wakho—ingakumbi ukuba bayamoyika uThixo—kuyinto esengqiqweni, kuyingenelo yaye kuyonwabisa.a Intwazana egama linguRebekah ithi ngomakhulu notatomkhulu wayo: “Sisoloko sihleka xa sikunye.” Umfana oselula ogama linguPeter naye uthi: “Andikoyiki ukubaxelela indlela endivakalelwa ngayo okanye ukuba ziyintoni na iinjongo zam. Maxa wambi ndiziva ndikhululekile xa ndikunye nabo kunokuba kunjalo ngabazali bam. Ndivakalelwa kukuba ndingathetha nomakhulu notatomkhulu nangantoni na.”

Kuthekani ngawe? Mhlawumbi wawusondele kumakhulu notatomkhulu wakho ngoxa wawusemncinane. Kodwa ngoku ukwishumi elivisayo, kunokwenzeka ukuba akukhange wenze mgudu ungako wokulondoloza olo lwalamano. Ukuba oku kunjalo, umgaqo weBhayibhile ofumaneka kweyesi-2 kwabaseKorinte 6:11-13 unokusebenza, wokuba, ‘uphangalalise’ uthando lwakho ngabo. Umbuzo ngulo, Njani?

Ukuthabatha Inyathelo Kuqala

‘Ukuphangalala’ kubhekisela ekuthabatheni inyathelo kuqala. Ngapha koko, iBhayibhile ithi: “Musa ukwala nokulungileyo kwabo kuselungelweni labo ukukufumana, xa kusemandleni esandla sakho ukukwenza.” (IMizekeliso 3:27) Ngoxa wawusemncinane, usenokuba wawungenawo ‘amandla’ okwenza nto ngolwalamano lwakho nomakhulu notatomkhulu wakho. Kodwa ngoku ekubeni ukhulile, unokufumanisa ukuba maninzi amanyathelo afanelekileyo onokuwathabatha.

Ngokomzekelo, ukuba umakhulu notatomkhulu wakho bahlala kufuphi, unokuziqhelisa ukubatyelela rhoqo. Ngaba oku akudiki? Kunokuba njalo, ukuba uhlala nje ungatsho nelimdaka. Ngoko ke qalisa incoko! Unokuthetha ngantoni? Umgaqo weBhayibhile okwabaseFilipi 2:4 uluncedo. Usixelela ukuba ‘sinyamekele, kungekuphela nje izilangazelelo zobuqu, kodwa nezilangazelelo zabanye.’ Ngamany’ amazwi, bonisa umdla kumakhulu notatomkhulu wakho. Benze bathethe ngezinto abazithandayo. Bavakalelwa njani? Bebesenza ntoni? Banokukuvuyela ukuthetha ngezinto zakudala. Ngoko babuze ngendlela obabungayo ubomi ngoxa babeselula. Okanye wayenjani utata okanye umama wakho ngoxa wayeselula? Ukuba umakhulu notatomkhulu wakho ngamaKristu, babuze ngento eyabangela baba nomdla kwiinyaniso zeBhayibhile.

Oomakhulu nootatomkhulu basoloko benolwazi ngomnombo wentsapho, yaye basenokuba bakufuna ngenene ukukonwabisa ngamabali abangel’ umdla. Eneneni, unokude ufune ukusilungiselela esi sihlandlo ukuze sibe lixesha elinandiphekayo. Zama ukuba nodliwano-ndlebe nomakhulu notatomkhulu wakho, mhlawumbi ude uthabathe amanqaku okanye ukushicilele oko kwikhasethi yeteyiphu okanye yevidiyo. Ukuba akuqinisekanga ngento omawuyibuze, cela abazali bakho ukuba bakuncede ucinge ngemibuzo efanelekileyo. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba uza kufunda izinto eziya kukunceda umazi ngakumbi umakhulu notatomkhulu, umama notata wakho, uzazi nawe siqu. UJoshua uthi: “Umakhulu notatomkhulu bayathanda ukubalisa amabali. Amabali abo andinceda ndiyiqonde indlela endivakalelwa ngayo.”

Noko ke, ungalibali ukuba umakhulu notatomkhulu wakho nabo banomdla kubomi bakho nakwizinto ozenzayo. Xa ubaxelela oko ukwenzayo, uyabamema kubomi bakho. Oku ngenene kuya kukunceda usondelelane nabo. Umfana oselula waseFransi obizwa ngokuba nguIgor uthi: “Mna nomakhulu siyathanda ukuphunga iti kunye kwivenkile yokutyela, size sithethe ngezinto esisandul’ ukuzenza.”

Yintoni Esinokuyenza Kunye?

Xa sele niqalisile ukuncokola, mhlawumbi ninokuhambela phambili nenze izinto ezithile kunye. Ngokuceba kusengaphambili, unokufumanisa ukuba zininzi izinto eninokuzenza kunye. UDara oselula ukhumbula oku: “Oomakhulu bandifundise ukupheka, ukunkonkxa, ukubhaka, ukukhulisa izityalo kunye nokulondoloza isitiya.” UAmy uba kunye noomakhulu nootatomkhulu bakhe ngamathuba okuzonwabisa kwentsapho ngamaxesha eholide. Kuxhomekeka kwiminyaka yabo, abanye oomakhulu nootatomkhulu badlamkile. UAaron uyakuthanda ukudlala igalufa nomakhulu wakhe. UJoshua uyaloba aze alungise izinto ezifuna ukulungiswa endlwini kunye nootatomkhulu bakhe.

Ukuba umakhulu notatomkhulu wakho banqula uYehova, kunokuba luvuyo kakhulu ukwabelana nabo ngemibandela ephathelele unqulo lukaYehova, njengokuthetha nabanye ngeBhayibhile. UIgor wahamba nomakhulu wakhe baya kwindibano yezizwe ngezizwe yamaNgqina kaYehova ePoland. Uthi: “Yaba sisihlandlo endasinandiphayo endingasoze ndisilibale, yaye siyakuvuyela ukuthetha ngaso.” Liyinyaniso elokuba asingabo bonke oomakhulu nootatomkhulu abakuthandayo ukuhamba. Sekunjalo, kuyingenelo ukuchitha ixesha kunye nabo.

Ilifa Lokomoya

Ngamaxesha okubhalwa kweBhayibhile ibhinqa elinguLoyisi laba nendima ebalulekileyo ekuncedeni umzukulwana walo, uTimoti, ukuba abe yindoda ekhethekileyo ehlonel’ uThixo. (2 Timoti 1:5) Akumangalisi ke ngoko ukuba oomakhulu nootatomkhulu abaninzi abangamaKristu benendima efanayo namhlanje. UJoshua uthi ngomakhulu notatomkhulu wakhe: “Bakhonze uYehova ixesha elide kuneli ndiliphilileyo, ngoko ndibahlonela gqitha, kungekuphela nje kuba ingumakhulu notatomkhulu kodwa njengabantu abagcine ingqibelelo.” UAmy uthi: “Umakhulu notatomkhulu basoloko bendixelela indlela ebakhuthaza nebavuyisa ngayo into yokundibona ndikhonza uYehova ndinyanisekile. Ukanti, ukubona umzekelo wabo nenzondelelo abanayo ngoYehova njengoovulindlela abathe ngxi [abahambisi bevangeli bexesha elizeleyo] kuye kwandikhuthaza ndaqhubeka nenkonzo yobuvulindlela.”

UChris umbiza umakhulu wakhe ngokuthi “oyena mntu undikhuthaze ukuba ndifundisise ndize ndiqole.” Wongezelela athi: “Andisokuze ndimlibale xa esithi ‘masenzele uYehova konke okusemandleni ethu.’” Umakhulu notatomkhulu kaPedro baye banendima enkulu kakhulu ekukhuleni kwakhe ngokomoya. Uthi: “Amava abo andincede kakhulu. Umakhulu notatomkhulu babesoloko behamba nam xa besiya kushumayela, yaye ndiyakuxabisa oko kakhulu.” Ewe, ukusondelelana nomakhulu notatomkhulu aboyika uThixo kunokukunceda ukhonze uThixo ngokuzele ngakumbi.

Umakhulu Notatomkhulu Abakude

Kuthekani ukuba umakhulu notatomkhulu wakho bahlala kude? Ukuba kunokwenzeka, zama ukubatyelela rhoqo. Phakathi kwamaxesha okutyelela, yenza unako-nako unxibelelane nabo. UHornan umbona umakhulu notatomkhulu wakhe kathathu kuphela ngonyaka, kodwa uthi: “Ndibatsalela umnxeba rhoqo ngeCawa.” UDara, naye ohlala kude nomakhulu notatomkhulu wakhe, uthi: “Banomdla ebomini bam, yaye sitsalelana umnxeba okanye sinxibelelane nge-E-mail phantse iveki nganye.” IE-mail nokutsala umnxeba zinendawo yazo, kodwa ungawadeleli amandla endlela ekudala isetyenziswa yokubhala ileta. Uninzi lwabantu abaselula luyamangaliswa kukufumanisa ukuba oomakhulu nootatomkhulu babo bazigcinile iileta zabo abaye bazibhala ukususela ebuntwaneni. Iileta zinokufundwa ngokuphindaphindiweyo—zize zixatyiswe. Ngoko ke qiniseka ukuba uyabhala!

Oomakhulu nootatomkhulu basoloko bebathanda ngokukhethekileyo abazukulwana babo. (IMizekeliso 17:6) Zininzi iindlela zokwakha uze ugcine ubuhlobo obusondeleyo nomakhulu notatomkhulu wakho, nokuba bahlala kude okanye kufuphi. Ngazo zonke iindlela, zama.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]