Intsha Iyabuza . . ..

Ngingamelana Kanjani Nokucindezela Kokuba Ngibheme?

“Kuyangikhulula, kungenza ngijabule futhi ngibe nokuthula.”

“Kuwukuzilibazisa.”

“Kukwenza uzizwe ulondeke ngokwengeziwe.”

‘Kungokuthile okuphathelene nezandla zami.’

LEZI izizathu ezanikezwa abanye abeve eshumini elinambili lapho bebuzwa isizathu sokuba babheme. (Teens Speak Out) Yebo, naphezu kwazo zonke izixwayiso ngomdlavuza wamaphaphu, iemphysema, nesifo senhliziyo, ukubhema kusenokukhanga okungavimbeleki entsheni eningi. Mhlawumbe nawe ngokwakho uye walingelwa ukuba ukuzame.

Abezindaba bakubelesela ngezithombe zabesilisa nabesifazane abakhangayo, abagqoke kahle ababhema njalo. Abekho phakathi kwabo ababonakala benjengeziguli zomdlavuza. Noma ungase uzizwe ungaphansi kokucindezela kontanga kokuba ukuzame. Esikoleni ungase uchukuluzwe ngezinselele, ezinjengokuthi: ‘Ingabe uyinyoni?’ ‘Wonke umuntu ovelele uyabhema.’ Futhi uma uphakathi kwentsha ebhemayo, ungase uzizwe ulahlekile uma ungawuphethe ugwayi esandleni sakho.

Ukucindezela kokuba ubheme kungase futhi kuvele ekhaya. Uma omunye umzali eyeka kodwa omunye umzali wakho ekhetha ukubhema, lokhu kungadida kakhulu. Futhi uma bobabili abazali bebhema, ukucindezela kungase ngisho kube kukhudlwana. ‘Abazali bami babhema cishe amaphakethe amabili ngosuku, ngakho ngaso sonke isikhathi ugwayi uhlale ukhona,’ kusho uRebecca oneminyaka engu-14 ubudala. Ukutshelwa abazali abanjalo ukuthi wena akufanele ubheme kungase kubonakale kuwubuzenzisi obukhulu! UAllison osemncane uyakhononda: “Uma sitshela abazali ukuthi siyayikhathalela impilo yabo, abalaleli. Pho, bangalindela kanjani ukuba sibalalele?”​—⁠The Private Life of the American Teenager.

Kungakhathaliseki izizathu zayo, intsha eningi inquma ukukuzama ukubhema futhi ngokuvamile ibe imilutha konke ukuphila kwayo.a Siyethemba ukuthi uzifunela okuthile okungcono. Uyayazi imiphumela edabukisayo yokubhema futhi awusiboni isizathu sokubhekana nayo ngokoqobo. Nalapho, ungase uzibuze ukuthi ungamelana kanjani nokucindezela okunamandla kokuba ubheme.

Ukuzinyeza Phakathi Kwabanye

Okokuqala ake sibheke ezinye zezizathu zokubhema ezinikezwa yintsha. Njengentsha ecashunwe ekuqaleni, eningi ithi ukuphatha ugwayi kuyenza ibonakale inesithunzi ngokwengeziwe futhi “ingabantu abadala.” UOren omncane wakholelwa ukuthi kwakunjalo kuyena. Ezinyeza kakhulu phakathi kwabanye, uyakhumbula: “Ngangingakhululeki nhlobo, ikakhulukazi emaphathini. Ngangingazi ukuthi kumelwe ngenzeni noma ngithini. Ukubhema kwabonakala kuyikhambi lenkinga yami.”

Nokho, ukudonsa nokukhipha intuthu enobuthi kumane nje kwenze umuntu abonakale eyisithutha, engalondekile, futhi engabacabangeli abanye. Isibalo esandayo sentsha siqala ukukubona ngalendlela. Ekuhloleni okwenziwa uJane Rinzler, amaphesenti angu-63 amantombazane namaphesenti angu-73 abafana abahlolwa bakuhlaba ukubhema! Enye intombazane eneminyaka engu-16 ubudala yathi: “Abantu bacabanga ukuthi kubenza babonakale bevelele, kodwa ngempela kubonakala sengathi bazama kanzima.” Ngisho noma ukubhema bekumenza umuntu “abonakale evelele,” bekungakwenza kufaneleke ukuzijwayeza umkhuba obulalayo noluthayo?

Nokho, ngokuthakazelisayo, uMaurice Falk, uprofesa wezifo zengqondo zezingane, uyaphawula: “Intsha ekwaziyo okumelwe ikwenze ezimweni zomphakathi ayizizwa izinyeza. . . . Akunakwenzeka ukuba ibheme.” Lokhu kuye kwaba njalo ngentsha eningi phakathi koFakazi BakaJehova. Iba nesithunzi nokuzethemba ngokukhuluma nabantu babo bonke ubudala emsebenzini wokushumayela obala. Ngokusebenzisa ngokunenzuzo uhlelo lwemfundo olunikezwa emihlanganweni yobuKristu eHholo LoMbuso, ifunda futhi ukukhuluma ngekhono kodwa ngesizotha phambi kwezilaleli. Lokhu kuqeda noma isiphi isidingo sokuthile kokuzilibazisa ngakho.

Uma uzizwa ungajabuli ngawe ngokwakho noma uzizwa unamahloni noma uzinyeza uma uphakathi kwabantu, khona-ke zama ukuzihlanganisa eduze nebandla lamaKristu eqiniso. Akulula ukuzizwa unamahloni isikhathi eside uma uzihlanganisa ngenkuthalo nabanye. Futhi ungaxoxa ngokukukhathazayo nabazali bakho. Nokho, khumbula ukuthi uzuza inhlonipho yabanye, hhayi ngokulengisa ugwayi emlonyeni wakho, kodwa ngokuba ube, njengoba iBhayibheli linxusa: ‘Isibonelo . . . ngezwi, nangenkambo, nangothando, nangokukholwa, nangokuhlanzeka.’​—⁠1 Thimothewu 4:⁠12.

“Kuyangikhulula”

Kuthiwani ngokuzisholo kwabanye ukuthi ukubhema kungokuhlangenwe nakho okujabulisayo? “Abanye ababhemayo bathi abakwazi ukukhululeka ngaphandle kukagwayi,” kusho umlobi uAlvin Rosenbaum, “bathi ukubhema kuqeda ukucindezeleka, ukukhathazeka, nentukuthelo.” Nokho, kunokuba ibe ekhululayo, “inicotine ishukumisela esenzweni,” kuphawula uRosenbaum.

Khona-ke, yini ebangela ukukhululeka okuzwiwa obhemayo? Empeleni, lokho obhemayo akuzwayo kuwukukhululeka okutholakala ngokwanelisa ukulutheka! Yebo, abantu baluthwa inicotine ekugwayi. Lokhu kulutha kufana kakhulu nokulutha kweheroin noma kwecocaine. Futhi abanye bathi kunzima kakhulu ukukunqoba.

Lapho umzimba womuntu obhemayo uphelelwa inicotine, uqala ukuyiqalekela. Uyethuka, acindezeleke, acasulwe ubala kuze kube yilapho ethola omunye “umjovo olalisayo” wenicotine. Okwesikhashana uzizwa ekhululekile​—⁠kuze kube yilapho umzimba wakhe uqalekela inicotine futhi. Kanjalo ukubhema kuyindlela ewubuwula yokuzikhulula. Ukulalela umculo opholile, ukufunda, nokuhambahamba ngokungajahi kuyizindlela ezilondeke kakhulu.

Ukumelana Nokucindezela Kontanga

UGeorge oneminyaka eyishumi nane ubudala uyalandisa: “Izingane ezinginikeza ugwayi ziningi kangangokuthi kuze kudingeke ngingazinaki.” Ukucindezela kontanga kubonakala kuyisizathu esiyinhloko esenza intsha eningi iqale ukubhema. Okunye ukuhlolwa kwabeve eshumini elinambili kwembula ukuthi ‘bangaphansi kwephesenti elilodwa ababebhema uma engekho kubangane babo owayebhema, kanti amaphesenti angu-73 ayebhema uma bonke abangane babo babebhema.’ Uma ucindezelwa ontanga, ungase uzibuze: ‘Yini engaba yimbi ngokuphafuza kanye ukuze nje abanye bayeke ukungikhathaza?’

Enye intsha ekhuliswe emakhaya amaKristu iye yabonisa ukuthi bekungeke kube kubi kangako futhi iye yahlehla okholweni lwayo.b Embalwa iye yavuma ukuthi iye yawubamba ugwayi ngesandla noma ngisho yafaka owodwa emlonyeni​—⁠ukuze nje ‘ibe njengabanye.’ Nokho, iBhayibheli lithi: “Ndodana yami, uma izoni zikuyenga, ungavumi.” (IzAga 1:​10) Intsha eningi ekhuliswe emikhayeni yamaKristu siyibonga kakhulu ngokugcina lamazwi. Ngokwesibonelo, uMaribel oneminyaka eyishumi nane ubudala, wanikezwa ugwayi abangane bakhe futhi wawenqaba. “Baqala ukunyomuka kimi,” ekhumbula, “futhi bahlekisa ngami.” Nokho, wazikhumbuza ukuthi ‘kungcono ukuvunyelwa uNkulunkulu kunokuvunyelwa izwe’ futhi akazange akuvumele lokho kucindezela!

Ngempela, luhlobo luni lwabangane olungakukhuthaza ukuba uhogele into ebulalayo? “Umngane weziwula uyakushoshozelwa yizo,” kuxwayisa izAga 13:​20. Uma kudingekile, zitholele abangane abasha. Phela, ukuba nje phakathi kwababhemayo kuyingozi empilweni! UBrenda oneminyaka engu-15 ubudala uthi: “Akekho kubangane bami obhemayo. Ngakho anginazo izinkinga zokucindezelwa ontanga.”

Nokho, kungase kungenzeki ngawe ukuba ugweme intsha engewona amaKristu ngokuphelele. Kungase kudingeke ukuba umelele izinkolelo zakho futhi ukwenqabe ngokucacile ukubhema! Lokhu akusho ukubashumayeza ngobubi bukagwayi. Umlobi uSharon Scott uveza ukuthi ngokuvamile ukuthi nje “cha ngiyabonga” kwanele. Lapho lokhu kwehluleka, utusa ukuba wenqabe ngamazwi aqinile, “Ngithe CHA!”

Amanye amacebiso awukushiya leyondawo, ukungasinaki isipho, noma umane ushintshe indaba. Ungase uzame ngisho nokulungiselela kusengaphambili indlela oyomelana ngayo nokucindezela kokuba ubheme. Futhi uma kucelwa incazelo eningiliziwe, kufanele ukulungele ukuyinikeza. Njengoba iBhayibheli lisho: “Nihlale ningabalungele ukubaphendula bonke abanibuza isizathu sethemba elikini.”​—⁠1 Petru 3:⁠15.c

Imfundo yeBhayibheli enikezwa eHholo LoMbuso LoFakazi BakaJehova iye yasiza abaningi ukuba bagqashule ekubhemeni. UOren uyakhumbula: “Isifiso sokukhuluma nabanye ngokuphila phakade ngempilo ephelele emhlabeni ohlanziwe oyipharadesi siye sangishukumisela ukuba ngiyeke.” Inkambo ewukuhlakanipha iwukungalokothi uqale kwasekuqaleni!​—⁠Kolose 4:⁠5.

[Imibhalo yaphansi]

[Isithombe ekhasini 17]

Esikhundleni sokwenza umuntu abukeke evuthiwe, ukubhema kungaveza obala ukungalondeki komuntu