Ufuna Izingane Zakho Zibe Nekusasa Elinjani?

INGABE izingane zakho uzibheka njengefa eliyigugu? (IHubo 127:3) Noma ingabe ubheka ukuzikhulisa njengomthwalo ongokwezimali ongenasiqiniseko sokuthi uzophumelela ukuwuthwala? Kunokuba kulethe inzuzo yemali, ukukhulisa izingane kubiza imali kuze kube yilapho sezikwazi ukuzinakekela ngokwazo. Njengoba nje ukunakekela ingcebo eyifa kudinga ukuhlela okuhle, kungokufanayo nangokuba umzali ophumelelayo.

Abazali abakhathalelayo bafuna ukunika izingane zabo isiqalo esihle ekuphileni. Nakuba kungase kwenzeke izinto ezimbi nezidabukisa kakhulu kuleli lizwe, abazali bangenza lukhulu ukuze bavikele izingane zabo. Cabangela indaba kaWerner no-Eva, okukhulunywe ngabo esihlokweni esandulele.a

Lapho Abazali Bekhathalela Ngempela

UWerner ubika ukuthi kunokuba abazali bakhe bayeke izinto zenzeke noma yikanjani, babebonisa isithakazelo esiqotho kulokho okwakwenzeka esikoleni. “Ngangikwazisa kakhulu ukusikisela okuwusizo ababenginika kona, futhi ngaba nomuzwa wokuthi bayangikhathalela futhi bayangisekela. Njengabazali, babeqinile, kodwa ngangazi ukuthi babengabangane bami bangempela.” Futhi lapho u-Eva ephatheke kabi ngenxa yomsebenzi wakhe wesikole eze ecindezeleka futhi eba nezinkinga zokulala, abazali bakhe, uFrancisco no-Inez, baphinde basebenzisa isikhathi esiningi bekhuluma naye futhi bemsiza ukuba aphindele esimweni sokulinganisela ngokwengqondo nangokomoya.

UFrancisco no-Inez bazama kanjani ukuvikela nokulungiselela izingane zabo ukuba zikwazi ukuphila lapho sezikhulile? Kusukela izingane zabo ziseyizinsana, laba bazali abanothando babezihlanganisa njalo emisebenzini yabo yansuku zonke. Kunokuba bamane bazijabulise nabangane babo abadala, u-Inez noFrancisco babehamba nezingane zabo noma kuphi lapho beya khona. Njengabazali abanothando, banika indodana nendodakazi yabo isiqondiso esifanele. U-Inez uthi: “Sabafundisa ukunakekela ikhaya, ukonga nokunakekela izingubo zabo zokugqoka. Futhi sasiza ngamunye wabo ukuba akhethe umsebenzi wokuziphilisa futhi alinganisele phakathi kwemithwalo yakhe yemfanelo nezithakazelo ezingokomoya.”

Yeka ukuthi kubaluleke kanjani ukwazi izingane zakho nokuzinika isiqondiso njengomzali! Ake sihlole izindawo ezintathu ongase ukwenze kuzo lokhu: (1) Siza izingane zakho zikhethe uhlobo olufanele lomsebenzi wokuziphilisa; (2) zilungiselele ukubhekana nokucindezeleka okungokomzwelo esikoleni nasemsebenzini; (3) zibonise indlela yokwanelisa izidingo zazo ezingokomoya.

Zisize Zikhethe Umsebenzi Ofanelekayo

Njengoba umsebenzi womuntu wokuziphilisa ungathinti isimo sakhe sezimali kuphela kodwa uthatha nesiningi sesikhathi sakhe, ukuba umzali okahle kuhlanganisa ukucabangela izithakazelo namakhono engane ngayinye. Njengoba kungekho muntu othembekile ofuna ukuba umthwalo kwabanye, abazali kufanele bayicabangele kanzulu indlela ingane yabo engalungiselelwa ngayo ukuba izisekele yona nomkhaya. Ingabe kuyodingeka indodana noma indodakazi yakho ifundele umsebenzi ukuze iphile kahle? Njengomzali okhathalela ngempela, yenza imizamo eqhubekayo yokusiza ingane yakho ibe nezimfanelo ezinjengokufisa ukusebenza ngenkuthalo, ukuzimisela ukufunda nekhono lokusebenzelana kahle nabanye.

Cabangela uNicole. Uthi: “Abazali bami babesebenza nami ebhizinisini labo lokuhlanza. Basikisela ukuba ngikhiphe ingxenye ethile yeholo lami ukuze kuhlangatshezwane nezindleko zomkhaya bese ngigcina imali esele ukuze ngiyisebenzise noma ngiyilondoloze. Lokhu kwakhulisa umuzwa wokuba nomthwalo wemfanelo owaba usizo kakhulu kamuva ekuphileni.”

IZwi likaNkulunkulu, iBhayibheli, alisho ngokuqondile ukuthi luhlobo luni lomsebenzi wokuziphilisa umuntu okufanele alukhethe. Kodwa liyazinikeza iziqondiso ezinengqondo. Ngokwesibonelo, umphostoli uPawulu wathi: “Uma noma ubani engafuni ukusebenza, makangadli futhi.” Ebhalela amaKristu aseThesalonika, wathi futhi: “Siyezwa ukuthi abathile bahamba ngokungahlelekile phakathi kwenu, bengasebenzi nhlobo kodwa bezigaxa kokungaphathelene nabo. Abantu abanjalo siyabayala futhi siyabakhuthaza eNkosini uJesu Kristu ukuba badle ukudla abazizuzele kona ngokusebenza bethule.”—2 Thesalonika 3:10-12.

Nokho, ukuthola umsebenzi nokuzuza imali akukhona kodwa okuhilelekile ekuphileni. Ekugcineni, labo ababuswa isifiso sokuvelela cishe baba abanganelisekile futhi bangase bathole ukuthi ‘bafuna umoya.’ (UmShumayeli 1:14) Kunokuba bakhuthaze izingane zabo ukuba ziphishekele ukuqashelwa nokuphumelela, abazali bayobe benza kahle uma bezisiza ukuba zibone ukuhlakanipha kwamazwi omphostoli uJohane aphefumulelwe ngokwaphezulu athi: “Ningathandi izwe noma izinto ezisezweni. Uma noma ubani ethanda izwe, uthando lukaBaba alukho kuye; ngoba konke okusezweni—isifiso senyama nesifiso samehlo nokugabisa ngokokuziphilisa komuntu—akusuki kuBaba, kodwa kusuka ezweni. Ngaphezu kwalokho, izwe liyadlula kanjalo nesifiso salo, kodwa lowo owenza intando kaNkulunkulu uhlala kuze kube phakade.”—1 Johane 2:15-17.

Ungazanelisa Kanjani Izifiso Zazo Ezingokomzwelo?

Njengomzali, kungani ungabi njengomqeqeshi wabadlali bezemidlalo? Akagxili ekwenzeni abadlali bezemidlalo abanakekelayo babe namandla angokomzimba okusubatha ngejubane elikhulu noma okugxuma ibanga elide kuphela. Cishe uzama nokubasiza ukuba banqobe noma isiphi isimo sengqondo esiphambene, ngaleyo ndlela abenze baqine ngokwengeziwe ngokomzwelo. Wena-ke, ungazikhuthaza kanjani izingane zakho, uzakhe futhi uzifake ugqozi?

Cabangela uRogério, osemusha oneminyaka engu-13 ubudala. Ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka kwangaphakathi ngenxa yezinguquko emzimbeni, wabhekana nokucindezeleka okungokomzwelo ngenxa yokungezwani kwabazali nokunganakwa. Yini engenzelwa intsha enjengaye? Nakuba kungenakwenzeka ukuba uvikele izingane zakho kuzo zonke izinkathazo namathonya amabi, ungayiyeki indima yakho njengomzali. Ngaphandle kokuba ovikela ngokweqile, yala izingane zakho ngokuqonda, ukhumbula njalo ukuthi ingane ngayinye ihlukile. Ngokubonisa umusa nothando, ungenza lukhulu ekwenzeni osemusha azizwe elondekile. Lokhu kuyovimbela nokuba akhule entula ukuzethemba nokuzihlonipha.

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi abazali bakho baphumelela kanjani ekwaneliseni izidingo zakho ezingokomzwelo, kunezinto ezintathu ezingakusiza ukuba uphumelele ekubeni umzali owusizo ngempela: (1) Gwema ukugxila kakhulu ebunzimeni onabo wena siqu kangangokuba uze ungazinaki izinkinga zezingane zakho ezibonakala zizincane; (2) zama ukuba nezingxoxo ezijabulisayo nezinengqondo nsuku zonke nazo; (3) khuthaza isimo sengqondo esihle ngokuphathelene nendlela yokuxazulula izinkinga nokusebenzelana nabantu.

Lapho ebheka emuva eminyakeni yakhe yobusha, uBirgit uthi: “Kwadingeka ngifunde ukuthi awunakubashintsha abantu babe yilokho ofuna babe yikho. Umama wabonisana nami ngokuthi uma ngibona okuthile engingakuthandi kwabanye, engingakwenza ukuba ngigweme ukufana nabo. Wathi futhi isikhathi esingcono kakhulu sokushintsha izindlela zami yilapho ngisemusha.”

Nokho, izingane zakho zidinga okungaphezu komsebenzi nokuzola okungokomzwelo. Zibuze, ‘Ingabe ngibheka ukuba umzali njengomthwalo wemfanelo engiwunikwe uNkulunkulu?’ Uma kunjalo, uyofuna ukunakekela izidingo ezingokomoya zezingane zakho.

Izindlela Zokuhlangabezana Nezidingo Zazo Ezingokomoya

ENtshumayelweni yakhe yaseNtabeni, uJesu Kristu wathi: “Bayajabula abaqaphela isidingo sabo esingokomoya, ngoba umbuso wamazulu ungowabo.” (Mathewu 5:3) Yini ehilelekile ekwaneliseni izidingo ezingokomoya? Izingane zizuza kakhulu lapho abazali bebeka isibonelo esihle ekuboniseni ukholo kuJehova uNkulunkulu. Umphostoli uPawulu wabhala: “Ngaphandle kokholo akwenzeki ukumjabulisa kahle [uNkulunkulu] ngoba lowo osondela kuNkulunkulu kumelwe akholelwe ukuthi ukhona nokuthi uba umvuzi walabo abamfuna ngobuqotho.” (Heberu 11:6) Nokho, ukuze ukholo lube nenjongo yangempela, kudingeka umthandazo. (Roma 12:12) Uma uvuma ukuthi unesidingo esingokomoya, uyofuna isiqondiso saphezulu, njengoba kwenza uyise wengane eyaba umahluleli ovelele wakwa-Israyeli, uSamsoni. (AbAhluleli 13:8) Ngeke uthandaze kuphela kodwa uyofuna usizo naseZwini likaNkulunkulu eliphefumulelwe, iBhayibheli.—2 Thimothewu 3:16, 17.b

Naphezu komsebenzi onzima ohilelekile ekunikezeni isiqondiso esinengqondo, ukusekela okungokomzwelo nosizo olungokomoya, ukuba umzali kungaba okunomvuzo. Ubaba wezingane ezimbili waseBrazil uyaphawula: “Angikwazi ngisho nokuzicabanga ngingenazo izingane zami. Kunezinto eziningi ezinhle esingazihlanganyela nazo.” Echaza ukuthi kungani izingane ziqhuba kahle, unina uyenezela: “Sihlale sindawonye, futhi sizama ukwenza izinto zijabulise. Futhi, okubaluleke nakakhulu, siyazithandazela njalo izingane.”

UPriscilla ukhumbula indlela abazali bakhe abambonisa ngayo uthando futhi bambekezelela njalo lapho kunenkinga. Uthi: “Babengabangane bami bangempela futhi bengisiza kukho konke. Lapho ngiseyingane, ngangiba nomuzwa wangempela wokuthi ngangiphathwa ‘njengefa elivela kuJehova.’” (IHubo 127:3) Njengabanye abazali abaningi, kungani ungahleli isikhathi nezingane zakho ukuze nifunde iBhayibheli nezincwadi zobuKristu ndawonye? Ukucabangela ukulandisa kweBhayibheli nezimiso ngaphansi kwesimo esihle kungasiza izingane zakho ukuba zibe nokuqiniseka futhi zibe nethemba langempela ngekusasa.

Lapho Zonke Izingane Ziyobe Zilondekile

Nakuba ikusasa lezingane eziningi libonakala lifiphele namuhla, iZwi likaNkulunkulu liyaqinisekisa ukuthi maduze nje umhlaba uyoba ikhaya elilondekile lesintu. Cabanga ngesikhathi lapho ezweni elisha elithenjiswe uNkulunkulu abazali kungeke kusadingeka bakhathazeke ngokulondeka kwezingane zabo! (2 Petru 3:13) Zama ukuba nombono wokugcwaliseka okukhulu kwalesi siprofetho: “Impisi iyakuhlala newundlu, ingwe ibuthise ndawonye nezinyane lembuzi, ithole nebhongo lengonyama kukhuluphaliswe kanyekanye, nomntwana omncane uyakukuqhuba.” (Isaya 11:6) Ngisho nanamuhla, ukulondeka okungokomoya okuchazwe kula mazwi kuyagcwaliseka ngokomfanekiso phakathi kwalabo abakhonza uJehova. Phakathi kwabo, uzokuzwa ukunakekela kothando kukaNkulunkulu. Uma ubonisa uthando ngoNkulunkulu, ungaqiniseka ukuthi uyayiqonda imizwa yakho njengomzali futhi uyokusiza ukuba ubhekane nezinkathazo nokulingwa okungase kukwehlele. Tadisha iZwi lakhe futhi ubeke ithemba lakho eMbusweni wakhe.

Siza izingane zakho endleleni eya ekuphileni okumi phakade ngokubeka isibonelo esihle. Uma uphephela kuJehova uNkulunkulu, ikusasa lakho nelezingane zakho lingadlulela ngalé kwalokho okulindele. Ungaqiniseka njengomhubi owahlabelela: “Zithokozise ngoJehova, yikhona ezakukunika okufiswa yinhliziyo yakho.”—IHubo 37:4.

[Imibhalo yaphansi]