Intsha Iyabuza . . .

Kungani Kumelwe Ngilalele Umama Nobaba?

UJOHN namantombazane amabili ayefunda nawo esikoleni bama phambi kwembobo enkulu eyayisocingweni olwalwakhelwe ukuvimbela ukuya emgwaqweni omkhulu omatasa onemizila eyisithupha. Njengoba izimoto zazidlula ngesivinini, lamantombazane amabili ayelungela ukuwela lomgwaqo ukuze asheshe afike ekhaya.

“Woza, John,” kukhuthaza lamantombazane. “Uhamba nathi, angithi?” UJohn waqala ukuwalandela. “Ngase ngikhumbula ukuthi umama nobaba babengitshele ukuthi ngingalokothi ngiwele umgwaqo ngokwawo kodwa ngisebenzise indlela yokuwela yabahamba ngezinyawo.”

Iphawula ukungabaza kukaJohn enye yalamantombazane yamchokoloza: “Uyinkukhu nje!” Lamazwi amhlaba. UJohn, owayengesabi, akakuthandanga ukuba lamantombazane amabili abukise ngaye.

Zibuze, ‘Ukuba ngangiwuJohn, ngangiyokwenzenjani?’ Wayebhekene nokuhlazeka phambi kontanga yakhe uma wayengayamukeli inselele yabo. Umyalo wabazali bakhe kuphela—ababengekho lapho—owawumvimbile.

Ngokungangabazeki abazali bakho ngokufanayo baye babeka iziqondiso abalindele ukuba uzilalele. Imithetho enjalo ingase ingahlanganisi kuphela inhlanzeko, umsebenzi wesikole wasekhaya, imingcele ngesikhathi sokuba ngaphandle kwekhaya, nezinhlobonhlobo zokuzilibazisa kodwa futhi nokuziphatha. Nokho, ngezinye izikhathi intsha ilingeka ukuba ingayinaki imithetho yabazali. Kodwa cabanga . . .

Kungani Abazali Bebeka Imithetho?

“Ndodana yami [noma ndodakazi],” kubhala umzali ohlakaniphile, “gcina imiyalo yami, uphile.” (IzAga 7:1, 2) Yebo, imithetho, “imiyalo,” yabazali ingeyenzuzo yakho. Iwukubonakaliswa kothando nokukhathalela okuqotho kwabazali bakho. Ngempela, ukuntuleka kweziqondiso eziqinile nemithetho kubangela ukungalondeki.

Ngokwesibonelo, omusha wabhala: “Abazali bami . . . bangivumela ukuba ngenze noma yini. Ngiyagomela ngokuthi intsha eningi ibiyojabula uma abazali bayo bebengayivumela yenze noma yini eyithandayo. Nokho, akuwona umdlalo. Kungenza ngizizwe nginecala futhi ngingelutho. Nginovalo lokuthi ngolunye usuku ngizokwenza into esabekayo. Kuyangethusa ukucabanga ngakho.” Lona omusha unesizathu esihle sokwesaba. Kwezinye izimo, ukuhluleka komzali ukubeka imithetho edingekile kuye kwaholela enhlekeleleni.

Ngokwesibonelo, enye insizwa yashayisa ngemoto kayise izikhathi ezintathu. “Kuyakhanya ukuthi indodana yakho ayikwazi ukushayela,” kusho induna kayise yasemsebenzini lapho izwa ngalezingozi. “Kungani uqhubeka uyivumela ukuba isebenzise imoto yakho?” Uyise waphendula ngokuthi wayengafuni ukulimaza imizwa yendodana yakhe ngokuyinqabela ukuba ishayele. Ngakho waphinda futhi wanikeza umfana okhiye bemoto—okokugcina.

Ngemva kwemizuzu engamashumi amabili indodana ihambile ngemoto, uyise wathola ucingo luphuma emaphoyiseni. Babefuna ukuba eze azokhomba isidumbu sendodana yakhe esasidlavuzekile. Ngokwamaphoyisa, indodana yayishayise isigxobo socingo ngesivinini samakhilomitha angaphezu kwe-160 ngehora! “Kwakumelwe ngiyiyekise,” kukhala uyise. “Ukuba ngashaya phansi ngonyawo, ngabe isaphila nanamuhla.”

Kodwa imithetho yenza okungaphezu kokukuvikela ekulimaleni. Ngokukuyala ukuba wenze imisebenzana yasekhaya nomsebenzi wesikole wasekhaya, abazali bakho bakufundisa ukwenza umsebenzi onzima. Kubaluleke kangakanani lokhu? Nokho, okunye ukuhlolwa kwabafana abangama-456 abeve eminyakeni eyishumi nambili kwaqhathanisa ukuphila kwalabo abathuthukisa amakhono okusebenza besengabantwana nalabo ababengazange. Abacwaningi bacabangela izinto ezinjengokuthi abafana babeyenza njalo yini imisebenzana yasekhaya futhi beqhuba kahle esikoleni. Eminyakeni engama-30 kamuva, iningi lalabafana lathintwa futhi.

Labobafana ababesezingeni eliphakeme ngokwamakhono omsebenzi babonakala benobuhlobo obufudumele nabantu abaningi ngokuphindwe kabili kunalabo ababesezingeni eliphansi. Futhi babekufanelekela kangcono ngokuphindwe izikhathi ezinhlanu ukuholelwa kahle emsebenzini wokuziphilisa. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, labo ababephumelela kancane kakhulu emsebenzini besengabantwana kwakunokwenzeka kakhulu ngokuphindwe izikhathi eziyishumi ukuba kuthiwe bakhubazekile ngokomzwelo futhi ngokuphindwe izikhathi eziyisithupha ukuba bafe ebudaleni beminyaka engama-47! Ngakho-ke, ukulalela imithetho yabazali bakho ngokuphathelene nemisebenzana yasekhaya nomsebenzi wesikole kungathinta ngokunenzuzo konke ukuphila kwakho.

Lapho Kunzima Ukulalela

Kwezinye izimo, kungase kube ukunganaki okuholela ekwaphulweni komthetho. Ngezikhathi ezithile ungase udinge ukuzikhumbuza ngemithetho. Futhi, ukuqaphela abanye abazali abanomusa kungase kukwenze uzizwe ngalendlela: ‘Kungani mina ngingekwenze!’ Khumbula, abazali bakho kumelwe bakhethe ukuthi yini enhle kakhulu ngawe. Uma abanye abazali benomusa ngokweqile, ekugcineni kokubili bona nezingane zabo bayovuna isithelo sezinkinga ezingathi sína, ngoba “lokho akuhlwanyelayo umuntu, lokho wokuvuna.” (Galathiya 6: 7, 8) Kungani ucela ukuvuna okufanayo?

Ngezinye izikhathi, umzali angase ngokuzithandela abeke umthetho wena onomuzwa wokuthi awufanelekile. Ukuthambekela kuba ukungawulaleli. Kodwa ngesikhathi esifanele, kungani ungaxoxi nabazali bakho ngemizwa yakho, ubachazele ukuthi kungani ucabanga ukuthi lomthetho awufanele. Ungakuthola kuwusizo kakhulu ukuba nomthetho omusha engqondweni okungasetshenziswa wona. Nokho, kwezinye izimo imbangela yokungalaleli iwukuphindisela.

Enye intombazane eneminyaka eyi-17 ubudala yazizwa idumazekile ngokomzwelo ngenxa yokuyekethisa kwabazali bayo, ababexakwe yizingxabano zabo siqu. Ibathukuthelele abazali bayo, yazimisela ukwaphula izimiso zeBhayibheli lezo abazali bayo ababeye bazigcizelela. Yahlobonga nendoda eyayithola behamba ngesitimela. Kamuva yathi: “Ngazizwa ngibakweleta lokho abazali bami.” Kodwa ngokwenza ngokuphindisela, yiyona empeleni eyalahlekelwa, ngoba intukuthelo yayo yayiholela kunembeza oshisiwe. Ngemva kwalokho, yaqala ukungabibikho esikoleni futhi yahileleka kukho kokubili ukusebenzisa kabi nokuthengisa izidakamizwa.

Indoda eyayilungile uJobe yaxwayiswa: “Xwaya ukuba intukuthelo yakho ingakuyengeli [ezenzweni] zokuphindisela . . . Qaphela ukuba ungaphendukeli kokulimazayo.” (Jobe 36:18-21, qhathanisa neNW.) Uma unomuzwa wokuphindisela, yima futhi ucabange: ‘Ukungalaleli kwami kuyofezani? Ngisho noma ngingaphula imithetho ukuze ngiphindisele kubazali bami, ingabe ngokunokwenzeka kuyomelwe ngiphile ngokwaleyomiphumela konke ukuphila kwami—ngemva kwesikhathi eside imizwelo yami isidambile?’ Kunokuba wenze ngempindiselo, kuyisikhathi sokuzotha futhi ungenzi ngokuxhamazela.

Okokugcina, ubusha buyisikhathi lapho intsha ngokuvamile iphoqelela khona ukuzibusa. ‘Ungiphathisa okomntwana. Kungani ungangivumeli ngithathe umthwalo wemfanelo ngomsebenzi wami wesikole wasekhaya, ikamelo, imingcele ngesikhathi sokuba ngaphandle kwekhaya, ukubonakala, abangane nezikhathi zokulala?’ Intsha eningi izizwa ikwazi ngokugcwele ukuzenzela imithetho yayo siqu. Kodwa uJohn, okukhulunywe ngaye ekuqaleni, wafunda . . .

Ukubaluleka Kokulalela

“Anginandaba noma ningangibiza ‘ngenkukhu,’” kusho uJohn kulamantombazane amabili. “Kumelwe ngilalele umama.” Njengoba amantombazane ayegijima ewela umgwaqo, uJohn ngokulalela wasebenzisa indlela yabahamba ngezinyawo. Ngenkathi ewela, wezwa ukuklikliza kwamasondo. Ebheka phansi, wabona amantombazane amabili ashayisekile endiza emoyeni. Enye yawela emzileni wezimoto ongakolunye uhlangothi, lapho eyaphinde yashayeka khona futhi yafa. Umlenze kadadewabo wahlafazeka futhi kamuva wanqunywa.

Lendaba eshaqisayo yenza uJohn wabona ukuthi okuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe siqu kwakulinganiselwe kangakanani. Wayebone intsha eningi, kuhlanganise nalamantombazane amabili, igijima iwela lomgwaqo ngaphandle kwengozi. Nokho, unina ukhumbula kahle ukuthi eminyakeni emihlanu ngaphambili, enye yezingane zomngane wakhe yafa lapho izama ukuwela wona kanye lomgwaqo. Ngenxa yokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe okubanzi, wenza imithetho yokuvikela indodana yakhe.

Unina kaJohn, uThelma, kamuva wavakashela unina walamantombazane eyomduduza. Lomama owayesosizini wachaza: “Ngangiwatshela njalo lamantombazane ukuba ngaso sonke isikhathi asebenzise indlela yokuwela ehamba ngaphezulu, kodwa awalalelanga. Noma kunjalo anquma ukuhamba. Ngempela ngifisa sengathi ngabe ayelalele njengendodana yakho.” Yebo, ngokungangabazeki ukulalela kukaJohn kwakungakusindisa ukuphila kwakhe.

Yebo, akuzona zonke izikhathi lapho ukwaphulwa komthetho womzali kuyindaba yokuphila noma yokufa. Ngobuhlakani obuncane, ungase ngezinye izikhathi ungayinaki cishe yonke imithetho abazali bakho abayibekayo. Kodwa ukungalaleli ezindabeni ezincane kungase kwakhe inkambo okunzima ukuyishintsha. Inhliziyo yomuntu ingase ibe lukhuni ekwenzeni okungalungile.—UmShumayeli 8:11.

Ukulalela kukaJohn akuzange kuxhomeke ekutheni abazali bakhe babembona noma cha, ngoba wayazi ukuthi uNkulunkulu owayala ngokulalela okunjalo, futhi wayefuna ukumthokozisa abese eba nonembeza omuhle. (Efesu 6:1) Ukulalela okunjalo kumelwe kuvele enhliziyweni. Omunye umzali ohlakaniphile weluleka ingane yakhe: “Inhliziyo yakho mayibambe amazwi ami; gcina imiyalo yami, uphile.—IzAga 4:4.

[Isithombe ekhasini 20]

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