Intsha Iyabuza . . .

Ngingenzenjani Ngezidlova Zasesikoleni?

URYAN wayefunda esikoleni esincane sasemaphandleni lapho ubudlova babungaziwa khona. Kodwa wabe esedluliselwa esikoleni esiphakeme esikhudlwana nesinzinyana—futhi ngokushesha waba isisulu sezidlova zasesikoleni. URyan uyalandisa: ‘Uhambo lwemizuzu eyi-15 ngebhasi lwaba uhlupho olwalubonakala luthatha amahora amaningi njengoba abangihluphayo babengithuka bese bengishaya. Basonta isipeletana sokubamba amaphepha basenza isifanekiselo samaNazi, basishisa saba bomvu ngento yokokhela ugwayi, base benyonyoba bangishisa ngaso esandleni. Ngadazuluka.’

UElizabeth waphothula isikole eminyakeni embalwa edlule. Kodwa izinyembezi zisehla emehlweni akhe lapho ekhumbula izinsuku zakhe zasesikoleni. Uyachaza, “Ngangibonakala ngihlukile kwezinye izingane ngenxa yokuthi umama engowolunye uhlanga. Ngakho kusukela esigabeni kuya esikoleni esiphakeme, njalo ngangigconwa futhi nginganakwa. Kwabonakala kuneqembu elithi ‘Ngiyamzonda UElizabeth,’ futhi ngisho naseminyakeni yamuva, ngagwema ukuya ezindlini zangasese zasesikoleni ukuze ngingabi isisulu sokusongela kwamanye amantombazane kokuthi azofaka amakhanda ezitha zawo emgodini wendlu yangasese. Ngabona ukuthi ngangiyisitha esikhulu.”

Amaphesenti amakhulu ngokwesabekayo entsha esahamba isikole leyo ngokuvamile ethola izinsongo ezishiwo ngomlomo nezibhaliwe, ehlukunyezwa ezindaweni zokubeka izincwadi, esatshiswayo ukuze inikele njalo ngemali yayo yokuthenga ukudla kwasemini, nsuku zonke abhekana nonya lwasesikoleni—icindezelwa ngisho nokucindezelwa ukuba ibe nobuhlobo bobulili—izidlova zasesikoleni.a Futhi uma ungesinye sezisulu, lokhu kungase kube inkinga enkulu ekuphileni kwakho kangangokuthi ungakwazi ukugxilisa ingqondo yakho kwenye into! Ngokujabulisayo, kukhona okungenziwa ngakho! Kodwa okokuqala kumelwe uyiqonde inkinga.

Yini Eyenza Isidlova?

Cishe bonke abacwaningi bayavuma ukuthi akekho umuntu ozalwa eyisidlova. “Isidlova esikoleni siyisisulu ekhaya,” kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uNathaniel Floyd. Kungenzeka ukuthi ngaleyondlela isidlova sidlulisela ukuphathwa kabi esikuthola ekhaya.—Qhathanisa nomShumayeli 7:7.

Abanye ochwepheshe bacaphuna “ukubukela kakhulu ubudlova kuthelevishini” ‘nothando nokunakekelwa okuncane kakhulu nenkululeko enkulu kakhulu lapho umuntu esemncane’ njengezinye izici eziyizimbangela. Ngisho nentsha engenabo ngokuvamile ubudlova ngezinye izikhathi ihehelwa ukuba idlove ngenxa yesifiso sokuba ingxenye yeqembu noma ukususa ukunaka kuyo ngokwayo.

Ukubukeka Kwesisulu

Noma yini ebhekwa njengehlukile, njengesici esingavamile esingokomzimba noma ukukhubazeka, noma nje ukuba musha esikoleni, kungabangela ukuhlasela kwesidlova. Nokho, isici esisodwa ikakhulukazi esitholakala ezisulwini eziningi zezidlova. UElizabeth, ocashunwe ngaphambili, ukhuluma ngaso: “Ngaso sonke isikhathi ngangimane ngikhale, ukuze abanye bakwazi ukubona zisuka nje ukuthi ngangikhathazekile noma ngesaba.”

Umagazini iParents wabala izici ezilandelayo ezivame ezisulwini zezidlova: “ukukhathazeka, amahloni, ukuhlala bexwayile, ukuzwela, ukungazethembi,” ‘nokuthambekela ekubalekeni nasekukhaleni lapho behlaselwa’! (Omalukeke sizenzele.) Cha, izisulu akuzona okumelwe zisolwe ngokuhlupheka kwazo. Noma kunjalo, ukwazi ukuthi izidlova zikhangwa ukuthithibala kungakusiza ukuba ubhekane nazo.

Yiba Nesibindi Kodwa Ungalwi

Okokuqala, ungalingelwa ukuba uziphindiselele esidloveni. Akukhona nje kuphela ukuthi ‘ukubuyisela okubi ngokubi’ akulungile kodwa kungakufaka engxakini engakufanele, futhi kungase kwenze inkinga ibe yimbi kakhulu. (Roma 12:17) Kodwa nakuba ukulwa kungekhona ukuhlakanipha, ukuba nesibindi kungaba wusizo. Umagazini i uyatusa, “ngokumane sichazele isidlova ukuthi asikuthandi lokho esikwenzayo, bese sisuka sihamba, isisulu siwehlisa kakhulu amathuba okuba sidlovwe esikhathini esizayo.” Noma njengoba esinye isazi sengqondo sakubeka, ‘yima bese uhamba ngesithunzi.’

Enye indlela yokubhekana nesidlova (ngesikhathi esifanele nendawo efanele) iwukuzama ukubonisana ngomoya ophansi naso. ‘Ngibonisane—naso?’ ungase ubuze. Yebo, kungenzeka ukuthi siye saba nokungaqondi okuthile, ukuthi ngokungaqondi uye wenza okuthile okuvuse inzondo yaso ngawe. Okungenani, ukukhuluma nesidlova ngomoya ophansi nangesibindi kuyosinikeza umbiko wokuthi uyenqaba ukuba isisulu esithithibele. UDkt. Kenneth Dodge uyachaza: “Izidlova zifuna abantu abangenzi lutho, zifuna izinyembezi. Umntwana ongasabeli ngendlela efiselekayo akuvamile ukuba akhethwe njengesisulu esikhathini esizayo.” Sisho kahle isaga ukuthi: “Ukwesaba abantu kubeka ugibe.”—IzAga 29:25.

Tshela Abazali Bakho!

Kuthiwani uma ukuhlukunyezwa kungaphezi? Othisha nabacwaningi ngokumangalisayo bayavuma ukuthi kudingeka utshele abazali bakho ngalenkinga. Yiqiniso, ungase ube nomuzwa wokuthi abazali bakho ngeke baqonde. Futhi kungenzeka ukuthi uye wasongelwa ngokuphathwa okubi kakhulu uma usiceba isidlova. Kodwa abazali bakho banelungelo lokwazi ukuthi yini eyenzeka kuwe esikoleni, akunjalo?

Lokhu akusho ukuthi abazali bakho kumelwe bakhulume ngokuqondile nesidlova. Kodwa bangakunikeza isikhuthazo futhi ngaleyondlela babuyisele ukuzethemba osekuphela kuwe nokuqiniseka kokuphila ngezimiso zokwesaba uNkulunkulu. Futhi bangakunikeza iseluleko esiwusizo. Ngokwesibonelo, bangase basikisele ukuba ukhulume nesikhulu sasesikoleni ngokuhlukunyezwa. Uthisha wesikole uGerald Hoff uyasikisela: “Zama kuqala ukuya kumqondisi wesikole, ikakhulukazi lapho abazali bakho bekusekela, kodwa ngaphandle kokutshela abanye abafundi ukuthi wenze njalo, uma kunokwenzeka. Umqondisi uqeqeshelwe ukwazi indlela yokukhuluma kahle nesidlova, kodwa uma indaba iya iba yimbi, kuwumsebenzi wakhe ukutshela uthishanhloko.”

Ngezinye izikhathi abazali banquma ukukukhulumela nezikhulu zesikole. Ngokuqondakalayo, ungase ube manqinkanqika ukubavumela ukuba bangenele ngalendlela. URyan, okukhulunywe ngaye ekuqaleni, uyakhumbula: “Ngancenga umama nobaba ukuba bangazihileli ngoba ngangesaba ukuhlaselwa iqembu, futhi usuku ngalunye ngangethemba ukuthi izinto zazizoba ngcono.” Kodwa ngemva kwesehlakalo sokushiswa, uyise wagcizelela ukuba abonane nezikhulu zesikole. Waba yini umphumela? Izinyathelo zokuhlakanipha zathathwa ngenxa yakhe. “Ngaphandle kokungihilela kakhulu ngokungadingekile,” kukhumbula uRyan, “sanikezwa izindawo zokuhlala okwakumelwe singasuki kuzo, futhi abafundi abadelelayo bagadwa ngokuseduze.”

Uma naphezu kwalokho isimo singadambi, abazali bakho bangase banqume ukuthi bathathe izinyathelo ezithe ukuba nqala ngokwengeziwe ngokumelene nesichwensi.

Izinyathelo Zokuvimbela

Nokho, kungcono kakhulu ukugwema ukuhlukunyezwa zisuka nje. Kanjani? Phakathi kokunye, ukumane ube ngoxoxayo nabanye abangena baphume ekilasini kungasiza ukususa umbono wokuthi ungumuntu ongunkom’ idla yodwa okuyikho okuheha izidlova. Ukuba nobungane nothisha nabashayeli bebhasi, ngisho nokubamoyizelela nokubabingela ngendlela enhle, ngokufanelekile kuyokwenza bakuqaphele, ngaleyondlela uthole isilinganiso esithile sokuvikeleka. Futhi ungazama ukugwema izikhathi nezindawo lapho kungenzeka ukuba kusuke uthuthuva khona.—IzAga 22:3.

Sebenzela ukubonakala ukhululekile futhi uhlelekile. Nalokhu kuyokwenza ungabi isisulu sezidlova. IBhayibheli lithi: “UNkulunkulu akasiphanga umoya wobugwala, kepha owamandla, nowothando, nowokuzikhuza.” (2 Thimothewu 1:7) Ungaqinisa lowomoya wokuzethemba ngokuzindla ngaleliqiniso: “Uma umuntu ethanda uNkulunkulu, yena uyaziwa nguye.” (1 Korinte 8:3) Ukwazi ukuthi uNkulunkulu uyayazi inkinga yakho nokuthi uyakukhathalela ngempela kungenza lukhulu ekukusizeni ukuba ubhekane nayo.

URyan uyakhumbula: “Ngaso sonke lesosikhathi ngangithandaza kakhulu, futhi ngenxa yalokho ngizizwa ngiseduze kakhulu noJehova. Ngiye ngathola ukuzithiba okwengeziwe. Kunanoma yini enye, ngiye ngathola ukholo olwengeziwe kuJehova lapho ethi ‘akayikuvuma ukuba ulingwe ngokungaphezu kwamandla akho.’” (1 Korinte 10:13) UNkulunkulu angakusiza nawe ukuba ubhekane nezinkinga zakho—ngisho naleyo ekhathaza kakhulu njengeyokuhlushwa isidlova esiyigwala.

[Umbhalo waphansi]

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Izidlova zithanda ukuchukumeza abantu abancane nabathithibele

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Uma isimo kunzima ngawe ukuba usisingathe, khuluma nabazali bakho