Intsha Iyabuza . . .
Ngingamenza Kanjani Angiyeke?
UDavid ungumfana othandwa kakhulu esikoleni. Futhi ngokushesha, okubangela umhawu kuwo wonke amantombazane esikoleni, uye waba nesithakazelo kuwe! Useye wakucela kaningana ukuba niyophola naye, futhi isikhathi ngasinye uye wenqaba. Kodwa uDavid ukutshela ukuthi ayikho enye intombazane eyake yamenza wazizwa ngalendlela nokuthi akanakumamukela ucha njengempendulo. Awufuni ukulimaza imizwa yakhe, kodwa cishe uyazi ukuthi ucabangani. Kungani engamane akuyeke?
ABESIFAZANE abasebasha yonke indawo (futhi ezikhathini eziningi namuhla nabesilisa abasebasha) bahlaselwa abafunda nabo nabasebenza nabo abababonisa ukunakekela kothando okungadingeki. Ngokuvamile lokho kweshela kuyisimemo esicacile sokuhlanganyela ekuziphatheni okubi kobulili. Ubungasabela kanjani uma kwenzeka kuwe?
Isihloko esikuPsychology Today sithi: “Uma owesilisa esikisela ubulili, ngenkulumo egigiyelayo noma ngezimpawu zomzimba, kumelwe uphendule ngokushesha. Uma ungakwenzi, ukuthula kwakho kumkhuthaza ukuba aqhubeke.” Ngakho-ke kumelwe wenze okuthile—kodwa okuyini?
Isizathu Esenza Kube Nzima Ukwenqaba
Owesifazane osemusha ogama lakhe linguSherron uvuma ngokusobala: “Ngokuvamile akunzima ukwenqaba uma umfana emubi.” Inkinga iwukuthi, sonke siyakufuna ukunakwa. Futhi uma kuvela kothile esimhloniphayo noma esimthola ekhanga, akulula ukwenqaba. Kodwa zibuze: ‘Ingabe lomuntu unemigomo enjengeyami, unombono onjengowami ngokomoya, ukuziphatha okunjengokwami? ’ (2 Korinte 6:14) Uma kungenjalo, ukusabela ekwesheleni kwakhe kungase kukubeke endleleni eya enhlekeleleni.
Noma kunjalo, ungase futhi ubhekane nokucindezela okunamandla kontanga kokuba wenze ngokumelene nezindinganiso zakho ezingokwenkolo. UDana osemusha uyabika: “Amantombazane emsebenzini angicindezela ukuba ngiyodansa nawo; angibuza ukuthi kungani ngingapholi namuntu.” Uma usesesikoleni, ofunda nabo bangase bakukhuthaze ngokufanayo ukuba uphole nabafana abathile khona. Loluhlobo lokucindezela lungakwenza buthakathaka kalula ukuzimisela kwakho. Yini ongayenza ukuze ukuqinise?
Yakha Imingcele
Isaga sakudala sithi, “Kungcono ukuyinqanda okhalweni, kunokuyikhipha ekhaya.” UMariya uyavuma. Uthi: “Ngikwenza kwaziwe ukuthi ngingomunye woFakazi BakaJehova.” Lapho abafana bazi ukuthi unezindinganiso eziphakeme zokuziphatha, cishe bangase bangakukhathazi.
Ukuzilungisa okufanele nakho kunendima ebalulekile ekuthiyeni ukunakwa okungafunwa. Omunye umqondisi waseNew York wakuthola lokhu lapho eqala ukuba nezinkinga nabesilisa lapho ayesebenza khona. Uyaphawula: “Nakuba ngangiwunake kakhulu umsebenzi wami, akuzange kubonakale ngaleyondlela. Ngakho-ke ngabopha izinwele zami, futhi ngaqala ukugqoka amahembe kakotini nezibuko ezinkulu nezingubo ezithungwe ekhaya lapho ngiya emsebenzini. Ngibonakala ngingadlali, njengomuntu ozosebenza, hhayi ofuna ukudlala ngothando.” Yebo, ukubonakala okunjalo kungase kungadingeki esimweni sakho, kodwa kubonisa isidingo sokuqiniseka ukuthi ukugqoka nokuzilungisa kwakho kunikeza umbono ofanelekile.—1 Thimothewu 2:9.
Ukukhetha kwakho abangane kungesinye isici esibalulekile. IBhayibheli lithi: “Ohamba nabahlakaniphileyo uyakuhlakanipha, kepha umngane weziwula [ngokokuziphatha] uyakushoshozelwa yizo.” (IzAga 13:20) Ngakho-ke ungazihlanganisi—noma ngisho ulalele—abantu abaxoxa ngamahlaya angcolile noma abaqhosha ngokuzitika emikhubeni yobulili. Uma ukwenza, abanye bangase babe nombono ongalungile ngawe. UErica osemusha uthi lapho inkulumo ingasalawuleki, uyabatshela, “Lokho sekuwuphawu lokuba ngihambe,” bese belithola iphuzu.
Ukuba “Ugange”
Nokho, ngezinye izikhathi, ngisho nokuqinisekisa ukuthi ungumKristu akwanele ukuze uqede abafana abathile amandla. (“Kwenza mahluko muni ukuthi ungumKristu?” kubuza enye insizwa eyayizimisele. “Usengowesifazane, nami ngingowesilisa.”) Uzisingatha kanjani izimo ezinjalo? Nokho, cabangela isibonelo seBhayibheli sentokazi yomShulamiti. Yayeshelwa enye yamadoda ayecebe kakhulu, ehlakaniphe kakhulu, nenamandla kakhulu kwake aba khona emhlabeni—iNkosi uSolomoni. Nokho, kakade yayisithandana nomalusi ophansi wasedolobhaneni lakubo. Ngakho yayingamenza kanjani uSolomoni ayiyeke.
Okokuqala, yayinombono ofanelekile ngayo siqu. Yathi: “Ngiyintebe yaseSharoni.” (IsiHlabelelo SeziHlabelelo 2:1) Ukuba nesimo esifanayo sokuzithoba kubalulekile ngoba ithuluzi eliyinhloko lelo elisetshenziswa abayengi liwukuthopha. UmShulamiti wayezothe kakhulu ukuba wayengaba isisulu sako. Futhi lapho ‘amadodakazi aseJerusalema’ angontanga yakhe esebenzisa ukucindezela ukuze azame ukumcindezela ukuba avume uSolomoni, wabafungisa ‘ukuba bangalunyakazisi, bangaluvusi uthando kuye, lungakavumi.’ (IsiHlabelelo SeziHlabelelo 3:5) Ukwazisa ojwayelene nabo ukuthi umiphi ngokufanayo kungase kunciphise ukucindezela kwabo.
Okubaluleke nangaphezulu, intokazi yomShulamiti yayizimisele ukumelana nayo yonke imizamo eyayenziwa inkosi ukuze iyenze ishintshe ingqondo. Yasho ngokuziqhenya: “Ngilugange.” (IsiHlabelelo SeziHlabelelo 8:10) Kumelwe uzibonise uqine kanjalo uma kuziwa ekweshelweni okungafanele. NjengomShulamiti, kumelwe ufunde ukukwazi ukwenqaba. Uma ukwenza kanjalo kunzima kuwe, zijwayeze ukwenqaba ezimweni ezingelutho. Kujwayele ukumelela okukholelwayo. Khona-ke lapho kuvela izimo ezingathi sína, uyobe ukulungele kangcono ukuzisingatha.
Vimbela Lokho Kweshelwa!
Manje ake sicabangele izilingo ezivamile abafana abazisebenzisayo nendlela okufanele uzibheke ngayo:
‘Wonke umuntu uyakwenza.’ Ungakukholelwa! Ukuhlola okwenziwa inhlangano okuthiwa iPlanned Parenthood kwembula ukuthi amaphesenti angu-53 amantombazane aneminyaka engu-17 eUnited States aye ahlanganyela ekuziphatheni okubi kobulili. Nokho, lokho kusashiya angamaphesenti angu-47 angazange—kuhlanganise nawe! Ngalé kwalokho, amaKristu ‘awalandeli isixuku’ lapho kwephulwa izimiso zeBhayibheli.—Eksodusi 23:2, qhathanisa neNW.
‘Uzenza umntwana.’ Akunjalo! Abangebona abantwana eBhayibhelini bachazwa ‘njengabathi ngokujwayela ukuwusebenzisa umqondo, sebenawo osulungele ukwahlukanisa okuhle nokubi.’—Heberu. 5:14.
‘Ungikweleta bona.’ Awubukweleti muntu ubulili—kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ofunda naye, umqashi, umngane, noma ubani omunye! Futhi akekho onelungelo lokubufuna ngenkani.
‘Oh, philela olwamanje. Singase sife kusasa!’ NjengamaKristu sibheke phambili ekuphileni okuphakade. Asinakuvumela umzuzu owodwa wenjabulo yobulili obungemthetho ubhubhise ubuphakade benjabulo.—1 Korinte 15:32-34.
Ukweshela okuphambuke kanjalo kudinga izimpendulo eziqondile—ngezinye izikhathi ezingancengi. Futhi lapho othile ephikelela, kungase kudingeke ukuba ucabange indlela ozomphendula ngayo ngokuphumelelayo. (IzAga 15:28) Noma yini oyishoyo, bonisa ukuthi awudlali ngokwenqaba ukweshela kwakhe; ungenzi njengokungathi uyakitazeka noma unamahloni.
Umlobi uJoyce Jillson usikisela ngokuqhubekayo: “Uma ngempela ufuna ukuqeda lokho kweshelwa ngokuphelele, ngena engxoxweni yezenkolo.” Intsha eningi engamaKristu iye yakuthola kuyiqiniso lokhu. Kusho enye intombazane: “Noma nini lapho othile ezama ukungeshela, ngikhipha INqabayokulinda.” Yebo, esinye sezivikelo esingcono kakhulu siwukwenza izinkolelo zakho zicace. Yenza umuntu azi ukuthi kungani wenqaba ukweshela kwakhe. Awenqabi yena kodwa wenqaba inkambo yesenzo afuna uyithathe. Lendlela yokucabanga iwusizo ikakhulukazi uma lowomuntu kufanele ubhekana naye nsuku zonke. Uma ebonisa isithakazelo esigijimini seBhayibheli, ilungu lesilisa lebandla lobuKristu lingalandelela.
Ngeshwa, kunabathile okungeke kuboniswane nabo. Ongakwenza kuwukuchaza isimo sakho ngokucacile, ungahleki—bese uhamba. Uma ukuhlaselwa kuqhubeka noma isimo sinzima kakhulu ngawe ukuba usisingathe, xoxa ngakho nabazali bakho. Bangase babe nokusikisela okuthile noma bangase banqume ukungenela. Kwezinye izimo, kungase kudingeke ngisho nokusibalekela isimo.—Qhathanisa noGenesise 39:12.
Manje, ungase ubhekane nokujivazwa ngamazwi noma ngokuchukuluzwa okuwumphumela wokuma kwakho, kodwa ungadumazeki. NjengomShulamiti, uyojabulela ukuthula kwengqondo okutholakala ngokwenza okulungileyo. (IsiHlabelelo SeziHlabelelo 8:10) Ngaphezu kwalokho, akubona bonke abafana abayosabela ngokujivazayo. INkosi uSolomoni, nakuba yenqatshwa intokazi, ayizange iyicabangele kabi. Eqinisweni, yabhala esinye sezihlabelelo zothando esihle kakhulu kwezake zaqanjwa, iyitusa! Ngokufanayo, abafana abaningi bayokuhlonipha ukuma kwakho kwesibindi. Futhi uma bengakwenzi? Qhubeka nje nokuma uqinile njengomShulamiti. Yiba “ugange” futhi ungabi “umnyango” ovuleka kalula. (IsiHlabelelo SeziHlabelelo 8:9) Khumbula: Inhlala-kahle yakho yaphakade nokuzihlonipha kusengozini!
[Isithombe ekhasini 13]
Ungabasingatha kanjani abafana abangamamukeli ucha njengempendulo?