Ukwanda Kwezehlukaniso
“IZINTO ZAMATSHE AYIGUGU ZESEHLUKANISO.” Lesosihloko esikhulu esingavamile savela muva nje kumagazini wabesifazane othandwayo. Lesihloko sanxusa: “Ngakho umshado wakho uye waqhuma futhi uzizwa ushile. Kungani ungancibilikisi lezozinkumbulo ezisagcwele ibhokisi lakho lamagugu.” Ngemali ethile umthengisi wezinto eziyigugu uvumela abantu abahlukanisile ukuba baphendule ithoshi lakhe lokushisela bancibilikise izindandatho zabo zesithembiso nezomshado. Ube eselolonga lezintwana zabo eziyigugu zibe ezingasoze zabakhumbuza ngemishado yabo ehlulekile.
Kulezinsuku, umshado, njengamapeni, amapuleti, amanabukeni, nezinsingo, ubonakala uthandwa ngokwengeziwe ngenxa yokuba kwawo ongase ulahlwe. ‘Lapho ukhathele yiwo, vele uwulahle’—sinjalo isimo sengqondo esivamile.
“Umshado ngokwawo awusekho,” kusho uLorenz Wachinger, umlobi oyisilomo, oyisazi sokusebenza kwengqondo, nowumelaphi eMunich, eJalimane. Ingabe kuyihaba? Mhlawumbe; kodwa akunzima ukubona ukuthi kungani engase azizwe ngaleyondlela. Ngokwephephandaba iStuttgarter Zeitung, minyaka yonke imishado engu-130 000 iyahlukana eJalimane. Kodwa isehlukaniso asidlangile eJalimane kuphela.
Isenzakalo Sembulunga Yonke
Ukuthambekela okufanayo kuyaqalisa kuwo wonke amazwe omhlaba. Ngokwesibonelo, iUnited States ingabizwa ngokufanelekile ngokuthi ikomkhulu lesehlukaniso emhlabeni wonke. Isilinganiso saminyaka yonke sesehlukaniso singaphezu kwezingu-1 160 000, noma cishe ingxenye yenani lemishado eba khona. Lokhu kufinyelela esilinganisweni sezehlukaniso ezingaphezu kwezimbili kulowo nalowomzuzu wansuku zonke!
Lapho eqhathaniswa nasesikhathini esidlule emlandweni, lamanani enza isehlukaniso sibe esidlangile. Kulelikhulu leminyaka nje elidlule, kwakunesehlukaniso esisodwa kuphela kuleyo naleyomishado engu-18 eUnited States. Ngaphandle kokuqubuka isibhudukane okwenzeka ngemva kweMpi Yezwe II, izinga landa nje kancane kancane kwaze kwaba ngawo-1960. Khona-ke, eminyakeni engu-25 nje kuphela, laphindeka kathathu!
Maphakathi nawo-1980 (okuyiminyaka yamuva kakhulu okutholakala imininingwane yayo ethembekile), amazwe emhlabeni wonke aba namanani aphakeme amazinga ezehlukaniso njengalawa: iSoviet Union, ezingu-940 000 ngonyaka; iJapane, ezingu-178 000; iUnited Kingdom, ezingu-159 000; iFrance, ezingu-107 000; iCanada, ezingu-61 000; iAustralia, ezingu-43 000. Ngisho nasezindaweni lapho inkolo nemithetho kuye kwagcina izinga lesehlukaniso liphansi, umoya woshintsho uyavunguza. Ngokwesibonelo, eHong Kong kusalokhu kunesehlukaniso esisodwa kuphela kuleyo naleyomishado engu-17; kodwa inani lezehlukaniso lapho laphindeka kabili phakathi kuka-1981 no-1987. Umagazini i-India Today wabika ukuthi isihluku esihlangene nesehlukaniso siyanyamalala phakathi kwesigaba esiphakathi saseIndia. Kuye kwakhiwa izinkantolo ezintsha emazweni ahlukahlukene aseIndia ukuze kubhekwane nokwanda kwamacala esehlukaniso asukela kumaphesenti ayikhulu kuya kumaphesenti angu-328 eshumini elilodwa leminyaka.
Yebo, izibalo aziyivezi inhliziyo ebuhlungu ehambisana nalamanani amakhulu. Ngokudabukisayo, isehlukaniso sisithinta cishe sonke ngenxa nje yokuthi umshado ukuyo yonke indawo. Ngokunokwenzeka, sishadile noma savela kubazali abashadile, noma sisondelene nabantu abashadile. Ngakho ngisho noma isehlukaniso singakasizwisi ubuhlungu, ukusongela kwaso kusengasethusa.
Iyini imbangela yazo zonke lezehlukaniso? Ushintsho lwezombangazwe kungenzeka lunengxenye kulokhu. Emazweni amaningi imingcele yoMbuso enqabela isehlukaniso—okuyisikhathi eside isekelwa amaqembu enkolo anethonya—iye yawohloka eminyakeni yamuva. Ngokwesibonelo, ngawo-1980, iArgentina yamemezela ngaphandle komthetho-sisekelo umthetho owawunqabela isehlukaniso esingokomthetho. ISpain neItaly nawo amisa isehlukaniso esingokomthetho. Kodwa ushintsho olunjalo emthethweni aluhambisani ngaso sonke isikhathi nokwanda okusheshayo kwamazinga esehlukaniso.
Ngakho okuthile okujule kakhulu kunesimiso esingokomthetho kumelwe ukuba yikhona okubangela umqedazwe wesehlukaniso wembulunga yonke. Umlobi uJoseph Epstein wabhekisela kukho lapho ebhala ngokuthi esikhathini esingeside kakhulu esidlule, “ukuba olahlwe ngesehlukaniso kwakunjengokungathi kuqinisekisa ngokomthetho ukuntula komuntu ubuqotho bokuziphatha.” Kodwa namuhla, ebhala, “kwamanye amaqembu abantu, ukungadluli esehlukanisweni kubonakala kungokuhluke ngokwengeziwe kunokuba odlule kuso; lapha ukuphila komuntu izinsuku zakhe ngaphakathi komshado owodwa kungase ngisho kucatshangwe njengokubonakalisa ukuntula ikhono lokucabanga.”—Divorced in America.
Ngamanye amazwi, izimo zengqondo eziyisisekelo abantu ababheka ngazo umshado zishintshile. Inhlonipho nokwazisa ngesimiso okuyisikhathi eside sibhekwa njengesingcwele iyanyamalala. Ngakho emhlabeni wonke, isehlukaniso siba esamukeleka ngokwengeziwe. Ngani? Yini engenza abantu bamukele okuthile okwake kwenqatshwa kabanzi? Ingabe kungenzeka ukuthi empeleni isehlukaniso asisibi kangako?