Kubalulekile Ukuqala Ngokushesha
ABANTWANA abancane banelungelo lokuchazelwa ngokugcwele ngokunengqondo ngendlela imizimba yabo esebenza ngayo nokuthi bangazivikela kanjani kubantu abaziphatha kabi. Kodwa kumelwe iqale nini lemfundo? Ngokushesha kakhulu kunokuba abaningi beqaphela.
Isikhathi sobusha siqala ngesikhathi sokuthomba, isikhathi lapho izimpawu zokuvuthwa ngokobulili ziqala ukubonakala. Intombazane ingase iqale ukuya esikhathini ineminyaka engu-10 noma ngisho nangaphambi kwalokho noma lapho ineminyaka engu-16 noma kamuva. Umfana angase aqale ukushaywa izibuko lapho eneminyaka engu-11 noma engu-12. Ingabe abantwana bakho bayobe sebekulungele ngalesosikhathi, mhlawumbe ebudaleni beminyaka eyisishiyagalolunye?a Futhi ingabe kuleyo minyaka yobuntwana bayokwazi ukubaluleka kokulondoloza ubuntombi noma ubunsizwa babo?
Bajwayelanise Nezinguquko Zomzimba
Indodakazi yakho inelungelo lokwazi ngezinguquko ezinikezwa uNkulunkulu eziyokwenzeka emzimbeni wayo. Umama angase akhulume ngokuya kwakhe esikhathini bese enza indodakazi yakhe ibone ukuthi nhloboni yesivikelo asisebenzisayo. Kumelwe achaze ukuthi lezinguquko ziyizinqubo zomzimba ezingokwemvelo. Ngokuqiniseka, umama angachaza ukuthi umzimba wendodakazi yakhe uyobe uzilungiselela isikhathi esiyiminyaka ethile kusukela manje, lapho ingase ishade futhi nayo ibe umama. Umama angachazela indodakazi yakhe ukuthi umzimba ulungiselela umntwana esizalweni ulwelwesi olusasiponji, oluntofontofo ngokukhethekile olugcwele imithambo yegazi. Lapho kungakhulelwanga, lolulwelwesi luyadabuka futhi luphume ngemomozi, futhi lenqubo ibizwa ngokuthi ukuba sesikhathini.
Ngokufanayo, indodana yakho kumelwe yazi kusengaphambili ngokushaywa yizibuko. (Duteronomi 23:10, 11) Kumelwe izwisise ukuthi ukuphuma kwaloluketshezi olunjimbilili, ngezinye izikhathi lapho ephupha, kumane kuyindlela yomzimba yokunciphisa isidoda esisuke sesinqwabelene. Kokubili amadodana namadodakazi akho kumelwe azi ukuthi akukho lutho olubi ngalezinguquko ezisemizimbeni yawo. Imizimba yawo imane ilungiselela umshado wesikhathi esizayo nobuzali okungase kwenzeke.b
Njengabazali, kumelwe nithathe lezindaba ngokungathi sína, ngoba ziyizindaba ezingokwaphezulu. Futhi ningabafundisi abamiswe uNkulunkulu.
Buyini Ubulili Obuphephile?
Njengoba iminyaka idlula nabantwana bakho bekhulela ekuthombeni, kumelwe uqiniseke ukuthi bayazi ukuthi ubulili phakathi kwabantu abangashadile buyingozi, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi bangase bezwe okuphambene. Izifo ezidluliselwa ngobulili, kuhlanganise nengculaza, ziye zaba ubhadane lomhlaba wonke. Izifo ezinjalo zingase zibangele ukungazali, ukukhubazeka kwasekuzalweni, umdlavuza, ngisho nokufa. Ngaphezu kwalokho, zingase zidluliselwe abantu abangazi ngisho nokwazi ukuthi sebenazo.
Abantwana bakho kufanele baqaphele ukuthi ayikho indlela yokuvimbela eye yabonakala isebenza ngempela ekuvimbeleni ukukhulelwa noma ekuvimbeleni ukudluliselwa kwezifo. Eqinisweni, inani elikhulu ngokumangalisayo lentsha esebenzisa izinhlobo ezihlukahlukene zokuvimbela liyakhulelwa. Ngisho nakuba amacondom emenyezelwa njengesivikelo ekutholeni ingculaza kumngane wobuhlobo bobulili onayo, iNew England Journal of Medicine yabika ukuthi amacondom ayehluleka ukuvimbela ukudluliswa kwegciwane lengculaza kaningi ngokufinyelela kumaphesenti angu-17 esikhathi.
Nokho, umhleli weNew York Post uRay Kerrison wayichitha inkulumo yokuthi amacondom ‘ayinciphisa kakhulu ingozi yokuthola ingculaza’ ngokubhala lokhu: “Kancane ngokuphawulekayo. Uma ufaka inhlamvu esibhamini, ushwibe isigubhu esinendawo efaka izinhlamvu bese udlala umdlalo wokugembula iroulette yaseRussia, unethuba elilodwa kwayisithupha lokuzibulala. Ngecondom, unethuba okungenani elilodwa kwayisihlanu lokuthola ingculaza. Manje sesiyakwazi ukunikeza igama eliqondile lalenkohliso yokuthi amacondom avikela othile ekutholeni ingculaza. Iroulette yobulili.”
Abantwana bakho kufanele bazi ukuthi ikhambi kulenkinga yezifo ezithathelwana ngobulili lilula. Liwukwamukela ilungiselelo likaNkulunkulu lokusebenzisa isipho esingokwaphezulu sokuzala. Eqinisweni, ukusetshenziswa okuphephile kobulili bakho kungaphakathi emshadweni, ngokomqondo wobunye obuhlala njalo nomuntu omthandayo naye ngokufanayo ongazange abe nomunye umngane wobulili.
Imiyalo KaNkulunkulu Iyisivikelo
IBhayibheli lithi: “Indoda . . . inamathele kumkayo.” “Ungaphingi.” “Kepha Ubufebe . . . makungaphathwa nangegama phakathi kwenu.” ‘Akukho-sifebe . . . esinefa embusweni kaKristu noNkulunkulu.’—Genesise 2:24; Mathewu 5:27; Efesu 5:3, 5.
Lemiyalo ayicindezeli. Kunalokho, ukuyilandela kuyoholela emkhayeni ojabulisayo, nonobunye. Umntwana ongakazalwa uyolungiselelwa okuthile anelungelo lakho—abazali ababili, umama nobaba. Ngamunye unezimfanelo ezihlukile, futhi ngamunye anganikela ekuphileni komntwana izinto omunye angenazo.
Njengabazali, kokubili ngokufundisa kwenu nangesibonelo senu, kumelwe nigxilise ngokujulile enhliziyweni nasengqondweni yomntwana wenu izimiso ezisekelwe eBhayibhelini. Kumelwe nakhe ngezinto eziqinile—ezingashi. Njengoba iBhayibheli lisho: “Umsebenzi walowo nalowo uyakuvela obala; ngokuba usuku luyakuwudalula, lokhu kwambulwa ngomlilo, nokuthi umsebenzi walowo nalowo unjani, umlilo uqobo uyakukuvivinya lokho.” Uma wakha ngezinto eziqinile futhi umsebenzi wakho uma, uyovuzwa ngokucebile.—1 Korinte 3:13.
Kodwa umbuzo obalulekile uyasala: Ungakuqinisa kanjani lokhu kuqeqesha njengoba abantwana bakho bedlula eminyakeni yobusha babo beqhubekela ebudaleni?
[Imibhalo yaphansi]
a UDkt. Leon Rosenberg waseYunivesithi yaseJohns Hopkins, eBaltimore, eMaryland, eU.S.A., wathi: “Ngesikhathi umntwana eseneminyaka engu-9, kwakumelwe ukuba abazali bakwazi ukuhlala phansi futhi babe nengxoxo eningilizwe ngokugcwele ngemininingwane yobulili nokuziphatha. Lapho izingane zithola ukwaziswa okuningi kubazali bazo, yilapho kuba ngcono kakhulu.”
b Ukwaziswa okwengeziwe kungatholakala ezahlukweni ezithi “Ukukhulela Ebudodeni” nesithi “Ukuqhubekela Ebufazini” encwadini Ubusha Bakho—Ukuthola Okungcono Kakhulu Kubo, incwadi etholakala kubanyathelisi balomagazini.
[Isithombe ekhasini 8]
Ukulungiselela umntanakho izinguquko ezingokomzimba kubalulekile