Banikeze Isiqondiso Abasidingayo
BANGAFUNDA kanjani abantwana bakho ukuzivikela ekuziphatheni okubi kwalelizwe okukhulayo? Hhayi kuyithelevishini, leyo iqembu elithile lentsha elayibala njengomthombo walo wesine obaluleke kakhulu elithola kuwo ukwaziswa ngobulili. Hhayi ezikoleni, lapho lokho othisha abakufundisayo kubonisa izimiso nezindinganiso eziguquguqukayo zalelizwe elinokuziphatha okubi. Futhi ngokuqinisekile hhayi ezindabeni ezixoxwa yilabo abafunda nabantwana bakho esikoleni.
Ukuze imfundo ephathelene nemikhuba yokuziphatha nokuphila komkhaya iphumelele, kumelwe iqale ekhaya. Njengoba omunye uthisha okhathazekile wesikole semfundo ephakeme asho: “Othile kumelwe abe nesibindi sokuthi: ‘Bukani lapha zingane, ngeke kunilimaze ukulinda!’”
Ingabe usuke wabafundisa lokho abantwana bakho? Lapho ucabangela imithombo eminingi yokwaziswa ngobulili esizungezile, ingabe ngezinye izikhathi uke uzibuze ukuthi uyakwazi yini ukubafundisa?
Ithonya Lesibonelo
Njengoba abazali bakho bathonya ukuphila kwakho ngendlela ababephila ngayo, ngokufanayo isibonelo sakho sikuthonya ngamandla ukuphila kwabantwana bakho. Sikwembula ngezinga elikhulu ukuthi ubathanda kangakanani nokuthi uhlobo olunjani lwabantu ofuna babe yilo.
Uma wawumsulwa lapho ushada, ungabazisa abantwana bakho ukuthi lokho kwakujabulisa kanjani. Umkhulu othile ukhumbula usuku, eminyakeni ecishe ibe ngu-60 eyedlule, lapho uyise amtshela khona ngendlela okwamjabulisa ngayo ukushada, azi ukuthi wayengakaze ahlanganyele kunoma yikuphi ukuziphatha okubi okwakukhona okwakungangcolisa umshado wakhe. Leyongxoxo yayithonya ngamandla indlela lomkhulu aphila ngayo ukuphila kwakhe, futhi ukholelwa ukuthi isibonelo sakhe siye sakuthonya ngamandla ukuphila kwabantwana bakhe.
Nokho, uma abantwana bakho bazi ukuthi ukuphila kwakho kwangaphambili kwakungesona neze isibonelo, kufanele uqiniseke ukuthi bayazi ukuthi kungani washintsha. Akukhona nje ukuthi usumdala kodwa ukuthi uye wathola izindinganiso eziphakeme osuphila ngazo.
Ukulalela Ngokucophelela
Abazali abaphumelelayo ngokuvamile bakhuluma ngesikhathi abasichitha belalele abantwana babo. Bayazi ukuthi kwenzekani ekuphileni kwabantwana babo. UKaren wayenza umzamo wokuba njalo ngezikhathi zantambama asebenze ekhishini. Ngalendlela, lapho amadodakazi akhe ebuya ekhaya, ayexoxa naye ngalokho obekwenzeka esikoleni emini.
UErline wayevame ukulinda amadodakazi akhe lapho ebuya ekhaya ebusuku futhi awalalele lapho emxoxela ngakho konke akwenzile. “Uma kunokuthile okudinga ukulungiswa,” esho, “ngangikulungisa kamuva. Kodwa ngangingeke ngazi ngakho uma bengingalalelanga.” Wagcina lokhu kukhulumisana kuvulekile phakathi nayo yonke iminyaka yokuba kwamadodakazi akhe sesikoleni nalapho eqomisana. Isikhathi esinjalo osichitha nabantwana bakho singavimbela izinsizi eziningi ebeziyoba khona kamuva.
Kodwa kuthiwani uma abantwana bakho bengakhulumi kakhulu? Uma bengakhulumi ungase uzibuze, ‘Ingabe bathule ngokwemvelo, noma bayesaba ukungembulela izindaba ngenxa yendlela engasabela ngayo esikhathini esedlule? Ingabe ngingabuye ngenze ukuba bangethembe ngokuthi manje ngenze imizamo ekhethekile yokubonisa isithakazelo sami kubo? Ingabe ngingakwenza kube lula ngabo ukuba manje baveze izinto ezingasho lutho futhi kamuva baveze ezingathi sína?’
Izixwayiso Ezibalulekile
Abantwana bakho kudingeka baxwayiswe ngemiphumela yokuziphatha okubi. Ngokwesibonelo, kufanele bazi ukuthi, naphezu kwakho konke abakuzwayo okuphambene nalokho, ayikho indlela yokuvimbela inzalo engenakwehluleka. Ukukhulelwa okungafunwa nezifo ezithathelwana ngobulili ngokuvamile kuba umphumela ngisho noma kusetshenziswa izinto zokuvimbela inzalo. Inhlangano okuthiwa iPlanned Parenthood ithi, amacondom ayehluleka ukuvimbela ukukhulelwa izikhathi eziphindwe ngamaphesenti angu-12, futhi ukwehluleka kwawo kungaba kukhulu ekuvimbeleni ukudluliselwa kwegciwane lengculaza.
Intsha eningi ibonakala iqiniseka ngokuthi ngeke yehlelwe izinhlekelele. Nokho, izifo ezithathelwana ngobulili, kuhlanganise nengculaza, zingadluliselwa abantu abangakabi nezimpawu futhi abangazi ukuthi bathelela abanye. Izifo eziningi ezinjalo eziphatha intsha namuhla zingabangela ukungazali, ukukhubazeka ekuzalweni, umdlavuza, ngisho nokufa.
Ngokwesibonelo, abantu abayizigidi ezingu-40 baseMelika manje kucatshangwa ukuthi okungenani banesisodwa salezizifo, isifo sokumila kwamabhamuza ezithweni zangasese, ezingenalo ikhambi elaziwayo. Omama abanalezifo bangazidlulisela ebantwaneni babo. Khona-ke labantwana abangenacala bangakhubazeka engqondweni, sonke isimiso sokusebenza kwemizwa yabo silimale phakade, noma babulawe izifo ezingathi sína zezitho zabo zangaphakathi. Yeka inani elisabekayo elikhokhwayo ngenxa yemizuzwana embalwa yenjabulo obekucatshangwa ukuthi izoba khona!
Ukuba nobuhlobo bobulili obungemthetho obudlulisele lesifo kungenzeka ukuthi bekungajabulisi nokujabulisa. Umcwaningi othile owabuza intsha eningi wathi “ngabesifazane, abathi okuhlangenwe nakho [kokuba nobuhlobo bobulili] kwabevé eshumini elinambili kwakungajabulisi baphindwe kabili kunababethi kwakujabulisa.” Abazali kudingeka bagcizelele kubantwana babo ukuthi ubuhlobo bobulili—indlela emangalisayo uMdali wethu ayehlose ngayo ukuba kube nabantu emhlabeni wethu omuhle—akufanele buqaliswe ngasese ngaphandle kwemingcele yomshado.
Isiyalo Abasidinga Kakhulu
Abantwana bakho kudingeka bazi ukuthi okuwukuphela kwendlela ethembekile yokuvimbela izinkinga ezibangelwa ukuba nobuhlobo bobulili ngaphambi komshado ukulandela izimiso ezamiswa uNkulunkulu osekuyisikhathi eside zikhona. Yiziphi lezozimiso? Eziwukuthi ungabi nobuhlobo bobulili uze ushade, bese uthembeka phakade kulowomuntu omthandayo, naye esesimweni esitusekayo, ongakaze ahlanganyele nothile ubulili.
Nokho, isizathu esiyinhloko sokubalekela ukuziphatha okubi asikhona ukuthi kubanga izinkinga kodwa siwukuthi uMdali wethu uthi akulungile. IBhayibheli liyanxusa: “Nidede ebufebeni.” “Balekelani ubufebe.” Ngani? Ngoba, labo abaqhubeka nokwenza izinto ezinjalo “abayikulidla ifa lombuso kaNkulunkulu.”—1 Thesalonika 4:3; 1 Korinte 6:9, 10, 18.
Ukulandela izimiso zokwesaba uNkulunkulu kuholela ekuphileni okujabulisayo, nokwenelisa ngokwengeziwe. Kuyasivikela ezifweni ezithathelwana ngobulili, ekukhulelweni okungafunwa, ezinkingeni zokuba umkhaya onomzali oyedwa, nasebuhlungwini bokushiywa abantu ababesisebenzisela izinjongo zabo zobugovu.
Iminyaka engaphezu kwengu-2 500, amazwi alotshwa umprofethi kaNkulunkulu aye abonakala eyiqiniso: “NginguJehova uNkulunkulu wakho okufundisile okukusizayo, okuholile ngendlela omelwe ukuhamba ngayo. Sengathi nga ulalele imiyalo yami! Khona ukuthula kwakho kwakuyakuba-njengomfula, nokulunga kwakho njengamaza olwandle.”—Isaya 48:17, 18.
Kodwa lezizimiso zokuziphatha zingasetshenziswa kanjani emkhubeni wanamuhla wokuphola? Lombuzo kuzoxoxwa ngawo esihlokweni esilandelayo.