Leyontsha Engalawuleki
INTSHA izungezwe izigijimi ezivusa inkanuko. Ubulili busetshenziselwa ukukhangisa noma yini kusukela ezicathulweni kuya emabhulukweni alukhuni. Umculo wesimanje ugcwele ukusikisela kobulili. Kuyithelevishini abantu abadala abaqhakazile bahlanganyela ebuhlotsheni bobulili nabantu abehlukahlukene. Kodwa ingabe lokhu kulungile?
Iphephandaba elivelele laseMelika lathi “izinhlelo ezigcwele ubulili” ezidlalwa ngesikhathi sosuku abantu ababuka ngaso kakhulu iTV “ziyindlela yokuhlela izinhlelo ephazamisa nengenangqondo ngokujulile.” IJournal of the American Medical Association yakubiza ngokuthi “ukuxhashazwa kwentsha ngemikhakha yezokuzijabulisa nezimemezelo zokukhangisa.”
Kumelwe uqikelele ukuthi izingane zakho ziyazi ukuthi akubona bonke abantu abaphila ngaleyondlela. Ngisho nakuba, njengoba kushiwo, ingxenye yamantombazane aseMelika aneminyaka engu-17 ubudala isike yahlanganyela ebulilini, lokho kusasho ukuthi enye ingxenye ayikaze ikwenze. Njengoba owayenguNobhala Wezemfundo waseU.S. uWilliam J. Bennett asho: “Akubona ‘bonke abantu’ abakwenzayo, futhi singase sithande ukunikeza leyontsha—ingxenye yentsha yethu eneminyaka eyishumi nesikhombisa—ukusekela kanye nokuyiqinisa.”
Waphawula ukuthi ekuhloleni okwenziwa eGrady Memorial Hospital eAtlanta, eGeorgia, U.S.A., amantombazane angu-9 kwangu-10 angaphansi kweminyaka engu-16 ubudala “ayefuna ukufunda ukuthi angasho kanjani ukuthi ‘cha.’” Ingabe ungazisiza izingane zakho ukuba ziqiniseke ngokuthi, akukhona nje ukusabela ngokuthi cha ngendlela elula futhi kokungaqiniseki, kodwa okushiwo ngokuqondile nangokunganqikazi okuwukuphela kwempendulo kunoma ikuphi ukusikisela kokuziphatha okubi? Ingabe ungabasiza ukuba baqaphele ukuthi abantu abanengqondo bayobahlonipha ngalokhu? Njengoba omusha othiwa uEmily atshela iphephandaba laseCalifornia, eU.S.A.: “Abantu abahlonishwa kakhulu abahlanganyeli ebulilini.”
Kufanele usize izingane zakho ukuba ziqaphele ukuthi ubulili bunamandla amakhulu—bunamandla kangangokuba buye baveza lonke uhlanga lwesintu. Nokho, lokhu akusho ukuthi abunakulawulwa. Kunalokho, kusho ukuthi njengemoto enejubane enamandla kakhulu, kufanele busetshenziswe kahle, ngokuvumelana nemithetho yomgwaqo. Ukungayinaki imithetho emgwaqweni omazombezombe osentabeni kungaholela enhlekeleleni. Imithetho enikezwe uNkulunkulu yokuziphatha ngokobulili iyoba nemiphumela efanayo. Ungazisiza kanjani izingane zakho, ozithanda kangaka, ukuba ziliqaphele leliqiniso?
Zifundise Ukuthi Ubumsulwa Bubalulekile
Xoxa nengane yakho eyeve ku-12 ngesibonelo esihle seBhayibheli sentokazi enhle yomShulamiti esencane. Yayingasho ngeqholo ithi: “Ngilugange, namabele ami anjengemibhoshongo.” Ngokokuziphatha wayenjengodonga olungacaceki lwenqaba enemibhoshongo engangeneki. Futhi emehlweni owayezoba umyeni wakhe wesikhathi esizayo, ‘wayenjengofumene ukuthula.’ Yebo, ukuthula kwengqondo okungaphazanyisiwe usizi lokuzisola kuyinzuzo ecebile yobumsulwa.—ISihlabelelo Sezihlabelelo 8:10.
Kodwa omusha angahlala kanjani eqinile ngokokuziphatha, enjengodonga? Ngaphambi kokuba izindaba ezinjalo ziphakame ngisho nokuphakama, kumelwe uqikelele ukuthi ingane yakho ekhulela ekuvuthweni isiyasazi isidingo sokuqapha ngokugwema izimo ezingaholela, futhi ngokuvamile ziyaholela ekuziphatheni okubi. Ngokwesibonelo, kufanele zazi ukuthi njengoba nje ukushayela udakiwe kungaholela enhlekeleleni, kanjalo inhlekelele ingatholakala edilini lentsha lapho abanye belethe utshwala noma lapho kungekho khona umuntu omdala ovuthiwe.
Ngokufanayo, basize ukuba baqaphele ukuthi ukuba wedwa endlini (noma ekamelweni) nomunye umuntu osemusha wobulili obehlukile kuvulela isilingo umnyango. Intsha idinga ukuyibona ngokucacile ingozi engokokuziphatha yokuvumela noma ubani abangashadile naye ukuba athinte izitho zabo zangasese, kuhlanganise namabele. Bachazele ukuthi ukuyengeka ngokuvamile kuqala ngokuthinta lezozitho zomzimba okuvusa inkanuko yobulili.—Qhathanisa neyoku-1 Korinte 7:1.
Kufanele usize izingane zakho ozithandayo ukuba ziqaphele ukuthi uthando lweqiniso lusho okungaphezulu okwedlula ubulili nokuthi ubulili ngaphandle komshado abulungile. Enye intsha ihileleka ebulilini ngaphambi kokuba yenze isibopho somshado. Ingase ibe nobulili nabantu abaningi ngaphandle kokuba ishade. Khona-ke, njengoba iminyaka iqhubeka futhi iqaphela ukuthi iyamdinga ngempela umngane womshado, izithola inesizungu futhi isele dengwane. Yiqiniso, akekho owake wafuna ukuba yenze isibopho nayo, kodwa futhi akekho oke wenza isibopho nayo.
Amadodana namadodakazi akho kufanele azi ukuthi ubumsulwa bawo buyigugu kakhulu ukuba bungachithwa nje njengamanzi angcolile. Siza ingane yakho ukuba ibone ukuthi injabulo egcwele yobulili ingatholakala kuphela elungiselelweni elingcwele lomshado. Ngolimi oluhle, olusankondlo, iBhayibheli lithi: “Phuza amanzi emgodini wakho, amanzi agobhozayo emthonjeni wakho. Imithombo iyaphalala ngaphandle yini, nemifula yamanzi ezigcawini, na? Mawubusiswe umthombo wakho, uthokoze ngomfazi wobusha bakho.”—IzAga 5:15, 16, 18.
Njengabazali abanothando, kufanele nenze umzamo okhethekile wokufundisa lamaqiniso. Lokhu kuyinselele ekhethekile namuhla, ngenxa yokuthi ukukhulelwa kwalabo abangashadile kwamukelwa kabanzi. ULillian, umhlengikazi owumbelethisi, uthi akusammangalisi ukubona ukwesaba emehlweni kababa ongashadile oneminyaka engu-15 ubudala lapho ugogo noma umkhulu oneqholo emnikeza indodana yakhe esanda kuzalwa leyo yena yise angakulungele, angazimisele, futhi angakwazi ukuyamukela.
Omunye umsakazi wethelevishini waphawula ukuthi abaningi “omama abasebancane kakhulu abangakashadi abanezingane kodwa abangenabayeni” ngokuvamile bayehluleka ukuqeda isikole, bayehluleka ukusebenza, noma ukukhulisa izingane zabo ngendlela efanele. Wathi, labomama abasanda kweva eshumini nambili, “babambeka osizini abazidalele lona bona ngokwabo. . . . Cishe ubumpofu abugwemeki futhi kunokuthambekela okubuhlungu kokuba nomntwana ozalwayo abe mpofu.”
Isibonelo Sakho Siqu
Ukuziphatha kwakho siqu kuyoba nethonya elinamandla ezinganeni zakho. Ngezinye izikhathi lokhu kungaba njalo ngezindlela ezingabonakali kakhulu kunokuba ucabanga. Kwenzekani uma ubaba eneso kwabesifazane abahle? Noma lapho umama ethi, “Yeka ungqwazi lwensizwa!” lapho indoda ebukekayo idlula? Ingabe abazali abanjalo bakhuthaza intsha yabo ukuba ibe msulwa? Uma izici zomzimba ziyilokho okukukhanga kakhulu, ingabe kufanele umangale uma izingane zakho zibeka izici zenyama ngaphambi kokuziphatha, umusa, uthando lweqiniso, noma ukuzinikezela komuntu kuNkulunkulu?
Khona-ke, ukufundisa izingane zakho lokho ezidinga ukukwazi ngobulili kuhlanganisa okuningi kakhulu kunalokho okungenzeka ubukucabanga. Kuhlanganisa isimo sakho sengqondo, umoya owakhayo ekhaya, ukuzimisela kwakho ukufundisa izingane zakho kungakephuzi, kanye nesibonelo osibekayo. Ngokusobala, konke lokhu kudinga isikhathi nomzamo, kodwa umvuzo mkhulu!
Ingabe Awukabafundisi?
Kodwa kuthiwani uma izingane zakho sezikhulile, futhi ungakaxoxi nazo ngalezizinto? Ungamane nje uthi: “Ngenza iphutha ngempela ngokulinda isikhathi eside kangaka ngaphambi kokuba ngikhulume nani ngalezinto, kodwa ngifuna kakhulu ukuba nibe nokuphila okungcono ngangokunokwenzeka kangangokuthi kuzodingeka ngizame ukuxoxa nani manje.”
Ngempela, kungcono ukuxoxa ngalezinto nezingane zakho lapho sezindadlana kunokuba ungakwenzi kwanhlobo. Imfundo yokuziphatha yezingane zakho iwumthwalo wemfanelo obalulekile noyilungelo. URon Moglia waseYunivesithi yaseNew York wathi: “Noma imuphi umzali odebeselela ilungelo lokukhuluma nengane yakhe ngobulili uyeka okunye kokuhlangenwe nakho okumangalisa kakhulu angase abe nakho.”
Uma usanda kuziqaphela izimfuneko zikaNkulunkulu zokuziphatha futhi izingane zakho zazi ukuthi ubungaphili ngazo esikhathini esedlule, qikelela ukuba ziqonde ukuthi kungani manje usushintshile. Ungase usikisele ukuba zifunde lomagazini bese ulungiselela ukukhuluma ngalokhu kwaziswa. Akufanele neze udikibaliswe ingane ethi: “Hhiya, ngiyakwazi konke lokho!” Izinganekwane zasesikoleni noma zontanga noma ngisho nokuhlangenwe nakho kwezenzo zobulili ngeke kuyithathe indawo yesiqondiso esinengqondo sokuziphatha. Iqiniso liwukuthi ukungabi nalwazi kungaholela enhlekeleleni.
Ukuqeqesha izingane zakho kungase kudinge umzamo omkhulu, kodwa umvuzo ungaba mkhulu kakhulu! Njengoba iBhayibheli lisho, kalula nangokucacile: “Olungileyo ohamba ekupheleleni kwakhe, babusisiwe abantwana bakhe emva kwakhe.”—IzAga 20:7.
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Ithelevishini ifundisani ngobulili?
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Ukungayinaki imithetho yokushayela ngokuvamile kuholela ezinkingeni ezingathi sína, futhi kungokufanayo nangokungayinaki imithetho yokuziphatha ngendlela yokwesaba uNkulunkulu