Umkhaya Ungasiza Kanjani?
“Okokuqala umuntu uphuza utshwala, bese utshwala bufuna aphuze obunye, futhi ekugcineni utshwala bumlawule umuntu.”—Isisho saseMpumalanga.
UHAMBA ongqengqemeni lwexhaphozi. Ngokungazelele, kuqala indawo eyinhlabathi. Ngesikhashana nje usubisha esihlabathini. Uma uthi uyazabalaza, kuba yilapho ubisha ngokujule ngokwengeziwe.
Ukuluthwa utshwala kubamba wonke umkhaya ngendlela efanayo. Umngane womshado oncike kumuntu ongumlutha uzabalaza kanzima ukuba ashintshe umlutha wotshwala. Eshukunyiswa uthando, uyawusongela, kodwa uyaqhubeka uphuza. Ufihla utshwala bawo, kodwa uthenge obengeziwe. Ufihla imali yawo, kodwa uyiboleke kumngane wawo. Uzama ukuvusa uthando lwawo ngomkhaya, ukuphila, ngisho nangoNkulunkulu—kodwa kube nhlanga zimuka nomoya. Lapho ezabalaza ngokwengeziwe, kuba yilapho umkhaya wonke ubisha ngokwengeziwe obishini lomlutha wotshwala. Ukuze asize umlutha wotshwala, amalungu omkhaya kumelwe aqale aqonde isimo sokuluthwa utshwala. Adinga ukwazi ukuthi kungani amanye “amakhambi” kucishe kuyinto eqinisekile ukuthi azohluleka, futhi kumelwe azi ukuthi yiziphi izindlela ezisebenzayo ngempela.
Ukuluthwa utshwala kungaphezu nje kokudakwa. Kuyisimo sokuphuza esiyisifo esiphawulwa ukuphuza njalo kanye nokungakwazi ukuzithiba ekubuphuzeni. Nakuba ochwepheshe abaningi bevuma ukuthi akunakwelashwa, ukuluthwa utshwala kunganqandwa ngesimiso sokubuyeka kukho konke ukuphila.—Qhathanisa noMathewu 5:29.
Kwezinye izici lesimo singafaniswa naleso somuntu onesifo sikashukela. Nakuba engenakusishintsha isimo sakhe, umuntu onesifo sikashukela angabambisana nomzimba wakhe ngokuyeka ushukela. Kungokufanayo, umlutha wotshwala awunakukuguqula ukusabela komzimba wawo otshwaleni, kodwa ungakwazi ukusebenza ngokuvumelana nesifo sawo ngokubuyeka ngokuphelele utshwala.
Nokho, lokhu kulula ukukusho kunokukwenza. Umlutha wotshwala uphuphuthekiswa ukungavumi ukubhekana namaqiniso. ‘Angimubi kangako.’ ‘Umkhaya wami ongenza ngiphuze.’ ‘Ubani obengeke aphuze enomqashi onjengowami?’ Ukucabanga kwawo ngokuvamile kuqinisekisa kangangokuba wonke umkhaya ungahlanganyela ekwenqabeni ukuthi unenkinga. ‘Uyihlo uyakudinga ukuphumula ekupheleni kosuku.’ ‘Ubaba uyakudinga ukuphuza. Ubekezelela ukufundekela okukhulu kukaMama.’ Ngeke bayembule nanini imfihlo yomkhaya: UBaba uwumlutha wotshwala. “Yileyondlela kuphela abangahlalisana ngayo ndawonye,” kuchaza uDkt. Susan Forward. “Amanga, izaba, kanye nezimfihlo kuvame njengomoya kulamakhaya.”
Amalungu omkhaya ngeke akwazi ukukhipha umlutha wotshwala esihlabathini kuze kube yilapho ezikhipha wona kuqala. Abanye bangase baphikise ngokuthi, ‘Umlutha wotshwala odinga usizo, hhayi mina!’ Kodwa cabangela lokhu: Imizwelo yakho kanye nezenzo kuhlobene kangakanani nokuziphatha komlutha wotshwala? Izenzo zawo zivame kangakanani ukukwenza ukuba uzizwe uthukuthele, ukhathazekile, ukhungathekile, wesaba? Zingaki izikhathi ohlala ngazo ekhaya unakekela umlutha wotshwala kuyilapho kufanele ngabe wenza umsebenzi obaluleke ngokwengeziwe? Lapho amalungu omkhaya angesiyo imilutha yotshwala ethatha izinyathelo zokuthuthukisa ukuphila kwawo, umlutha wotshwala ungase ulandele.
Yeka ukwamukela icala. ‘Ukube ubungiphatha kahle, ngabe angiphuzi,’ kungase kusho umlutha wotshwala. “Umlutha wotshwala ufuna ukuba ulokhu ukholelwa yilokhu ukuze ukugidlabeze ngecala ngenxa yokuphuza kwawo,” kusho umeluleki uToby Rice Drews. Ungawukholelwa lomqondo. Umlutha wotshwala awuncikile nje kuphela otshwaleni kodwa futhi nakubantu abazovumelana nokungavumi kwawo ukubhekana namaqiniso. Khona-ke amalungu omkhaya angase ngokungaqondi agqugquzele ukuphuza komlutha wotshwala.
Isaga seBhayibheli esiphathelene nokushesha ukucasuka singasebenza ngokufanayo kumlutha wotshwala: “Myeke athwale imiphumela. Uma umkhipha enkingeni kanye, kuzodingeka uphinde ukwenze.” (IzAga 19:19, Today’s English Version) Yebo, wuyeke umlutha wotshwala ushayele umqashi wawo ucingo umazise ukuthi kungani ungezanga emsebenzini, uzihudule uziyise embhedeni, usule ubuhlanzo. Uma umkhaya uwenzela izinto ezinjalo, umane nje uwusiza ukuba uphuze kuze kuphumele ekufeni kwawo.
Thola usizo. Kunzima futhi mhlawumbe ngisho akunakwenzeka ngelungu lomkhaya ukuba lizikhiphe esihlabathini. Udinga ukusekelwa. Ncika kakhulu kubangane abangeke basekele ukungavumi komlutha wotshwala ukubhekana namaqiniso futhi bangakuvumeli ukuba ubishe lapho ukhona.
Uma umlutha wotshwala ungavuma ukuthola usizo, lokho kufanele kube isizathu senjabulo enkulu. Kodwa kumane nje kuyisiqalo senqubo yokululama. Ukulutheka komzimba otshwaleni kunganqandwa ngezinsuku nje ezimbalwa ngokuqeda ukuncika komzimba otshwaleni. Kodwa ukulutheka kwengqondo kunzima kakhulu ukukulawula.
[Ibhokisi ekhasini 5]
IMIKHUBA EPHAWULEKAYO YEMILUTHA YOTSHWALA
Ukucabanga Ngakho Njalo: Umlutha wotshwala uzilangazelela ngentshiseko izikhathi zawo zokuphuza. Lapho ungaphuzi utshwala, ucabanga ngotshwala.
Ukungakwazi Ukuzithiba: Ngokuvamile ukuphuza kwawo kuhlukile kulokho obukuhlosile, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi isinqumo sawo siqine kangakanani.
Ukuqina: Izimiso ozibekela zona (“Angilokothi ngiphuze ngedwa,” “angilokothi ngiphuze ngesikhathi somsebenzi,” njalonjalo) zimane nje zifihla umthetho wangempela womlutha: “Angivumeli noma yini iphazamise ukuphuza kwami.”
Ukungasheshi Ukudakwa: Ikhono elivelele lokukwazi ukuphuza utshwala obuningi alisiso isibusiso—ngokuvamile liwuphawu lokuqala lokuluthwa utshwala.
Imiphumela Emibi: Imikhuba evamile ayiyilethi inhlekelele emkhayeni womuntu, emsebenzini, nasempilweni engokomzimba. Ukuluthwa utshwala kuyayiletha.—IzAga 23:29-35.
Ukungavumi Ukubhekana Namaqiniso: Umlutha wotshwala uthethelela, ululaze, futhi ubeke izaba ngokuziphatha kwawo.