Intsha Iyabuza . . .

Kungani Abazali Bami Bengabonisi Isithakazelo Esengeziwe Kimi?

“Noma nini lapho ngicela umama ukuba anginike imizuzu emihlanu yesikhathi sakhe, ngaso sonke isikhathi umatasa kakhulu,” kukhononda enye intombazane eyeve eshumini elinambili leminyaka.

UCHRISTINA wayeneminyaka engu-16 ubudala—engashadile futhi ekhulelwe. Nakuba ayezisola ngesimo sakhe esidumazayo, wayenomunyu futhi. “Umama akakaze neze azihluphe ngokungichazela lezizinto,” ekhala. “Wayemane nje engenaso isikhathi sokuba nesithakazelo kulokho engangikwenza.”

Ingabe leyo yindlela ozizwa ngayo ngezinye izikhathi—ukuthi abazali bakho bamane nje abanasithakazelo kuwe? Ungase ungathambekeli ekuvezeni ukukhungatheka kwakho ngendlela uChristina enza ngayo. Uyazi futhi ukuthi ukuba nabazali abanganaki akusona isaba sokuziphatha ngokungafanele. Ngisho nakuba kunjalo, ungase uzizwe ulimele ngokujulile uma bengakunaki. Nakuba usondela ebudaleni, ungase uzizwe usenaso isidingo esikhulu sothando nokusekela kobuzali. Ukunganakwa abazali bakho kungase kukwenze uzizwe ulahliwe. “Noma nini lapho ngicela umama ukuba anginikeze imizuzu emihlanu yesikhathi sakhe, ngaso sonke isikhathi umatasa kakhulu,” kukhononda enye intombazane eyeve eshumini elinambili leminyaka.

Khona-ke, akumangalisi ukuthi ngokokunye ukuhlola, intsha engamaphesenti angu-25 “inomuzwa wokuthi ayinaso isikhathi esanele inabazali bayo.” Omunye osemusha wathi: “Ngifisa sengathi ngingasondelana kakhulu nabazali bami futhi ngiveze imizwa yami ngokwethembeka kubo.” Ngisho nalapho intsha indawonye nabazali ngokomzimba, kungenzeka bahlukene ngokomzwelo. Kungase kungabi bikho ukukhulumisana okuphawulekayo.

Isizathu Esenza Ukuba Babonakale Bengakunaki

Ake ucabange: Uye walinda usuku lonke ukuze ukhulume nomama wakho ngenkinga ethile. Kodwa ngokushesha nje lapho efika ekhaya evela emsebenzini, uzilahlela esihlalweni futhi agxilise ingqondo yakhe ezindabeni zeTV zakusihlwa. Lapho uzama ukumfaka engxoxweni, ukuthulisa ngamazwi agcwele intukuthelo athi, “Awuboni yini ukuthi ngizama ukuphumula?”

Ingabe umzali onganaki nongenaluthando? Cha, akuvamile ukuba abazali bangabanaki abantwana babo ngamabomu. Kodwa siphila ‘ezikhathini ezinzima.’ (2 Thimothewu 3:1-3) Abazali bakho bangase bazithole becindezeleke kakhulu kunanini ngaphambili. Kungenzeka batubekile, bakhungathekile, noma bakhathele kakhulu kangangokuthi bangase nje bangabi nawo amandla okusebenzisa isikhathi esibalulekile benawe. Lokhu kungaba yiqiniso ikakhulukazi uma uhlala emkhayeni onomzali oyedwa. Ngakho, ngalé kokuba abazali bakho bakuzwe ukhononda, bangamane nje baphethe ngokuthi zonke izinto zihamba kahle.

Abazali bangase baxinwe futhi ezinye izinto. Uma ubaba wakho engumKristu okhuthele, angase athwale umthwalo wemfanelo osindayo webandla. (Qhathanisa neyesi-2 Korinte 11:28, 29.) Nakuba umama wakho engase angakhulumi ngakho njalo, kungenzeka uphazanyiswa izinkinga ezingokwempilo ezandayo. Unabo abafowenu nodadewenu? Khona-ke abazali bakho bangase babe matasa futhi benakekela izidingo zabo.

Kuyavunywa, abanye abazali balwisana nezinkinga ezingathi sína njengokuphuza ngokweqile futhi abakwazi ukusabela ezidingweni zabantwana babo. Nokho, abanye bangase bangazi nje ukuthi bangasibonisa kanjani isithakazelo kubantwana babo. Kanti nokho, abantwana balufunda kubazali babo uthando. (Qhathanisa neyoku-1 Johane 4:19.) Mhlawumbe abazali bakho bakhuliswa abazali ababehluleka ukubonisa isithakazelo kubo.

Elinye iqiniso liwukuthi amanye amasiko awazinaki ngokuphelele izidingo zentsha. Ezingxenyeni ezithile zaseAfrika, isiko liphoqelela ukuba obaba, omama, nabantwana badle ngokwehlukana ngezikhathi zokudla. Lokhu kuba namuphi umphumela? UCollin, osemusha waseAfrika oneminyaka engu-14 ubudala uyakhumbula: “Kwakunzima ukuzizwa ngisondelene nabazali bami ngokomzwelo. Ngazizwa sengathi ngangidukuza ngingedwa ekuphileni.”

Izingibe Okumelwe Zigwenywe

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi siyini isizathu sokubonakala kwabazali bakho bengakunaki, kusengakushiya uzizwa ulimele futhi uthukuthele. Enye intsha isabela ngokuba engabambisani noma engalaleli. Enye inquma ukuthi ukuvukela kuwukuphela kwendlela yokuletha ukunakekela esimweni sayo esibi. Kodwa njengoChristina, okukhulunywe ngaye ekuqaleni, ngokuvamile intsha evukelayo ayenzi lutho kunokumane izilimaze yona ngokwayo kulenkambo. “Ukuhlehla kwabangenalwazi kuyababulala,” kuxwayisa izAga 1:32.

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, akufezi lutho ukumane nje ungasinaki lesisimo—ikakhulukazi uma sikubangela ukulimala okujulile. IzAga 24:10, (NW) ziyabuza: “Ingabe uye wazibonakalisa udumele ngosuku lokucindezeleka?” Uma kunjalo, “amandla akho mancane.” Amanxeba angokomzwelo angase abe angokoqobo futhi abe abuhlungu ngisho nangokwengeziwe kunamanxeba angokomzimba. (IzAga 18:14) Futhi lapho evunyelwa ukuba ajule, angase aqhubeke ebangela ubuhlungu ngisho nalapho sewukhulile. Cabangela insizwa okuthiwa nguJohan. “Lapho ngikhula,” kukhumbula uJohan, “ubaba wami owayewumlutha wotshwala wayengatholakali neze lapho ngimdinga khona kakhulu.” Uyenezela: “Wayegxile kakhulu ezinkingeni zakhe siqu kunokuba anginake kakhulu.” Njengomuntu omdala, uJohan wahlushwa ukucindezeleka nemizwa yecala isikhathi eside.

Ngosizo lwabangane abathile abahle, uJohan wakwazi ukuqalisa ukwakha kabusha ukuzethemba kwakhe. Nokho, okuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe kugcizelela ukubaluleka kokuzama ukuthola izindlela eziqondile zokubhekana ngokuphumelelayo nesimo obhekene naso ekhaya.

Hlakulela Isithakazelo Sabo Ngakuwe

Ake sithi uBaba noma uMama abavamile ukuqalisa ingxoxo nawe. Ungaqala ukuqeda lokuthula okungathandeki ngokubonisa isithakazelo esithile kubo. (Mathewu 7:12; Filipi 2:4) Ngokuzithandela hambisana nabo uma beya endaweni ethile ukuze bafune okuthile. Babuze ukuthi ikhona yini indlela ethile ongabasiza ngayo, mhlawumbe ngokulungiselela ukudla noma ngokuhlanza. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi ungaqala ukuhlanganyela nabo izinto ezikuthintayo, njengokuthi yini eqhubekayo esikoleni.

Nokho, ngezinye izikhathi ungase ube nezinkinga ezingathi sína okumelwe uxoxe ngazo. Kungase kungakuzuzisi ngalutho ukuya kuBaba lapho esazilalele kusofa, eziphumulele ngemva kosuku olunzima emsebenzini. Zama ukuthola “isikhathi esifanele”—sokuxoxa ngalezindaba—lapho esephumule ngokwanele futhi ejabulile. (IzAga 15:23) Ngokunokwenzeka uyoba nesithakazelo ngokwengeziwe ezinkingeni zakho.

Nokho, kuthiwani uma abazali bakho behluleka ukusabela emizamweni yakho engcono kakhulu?a IzAga 15:22 zisikhumbuza ukuthi “lapho kungekho khona ukululekana, amasu ayachitheka.” Yebo, ungase udinge ukutshela abazali bakho (eqinisweni, ngendlela enomusa nenobuhlakani) ukuthi unomuzwa wokuthi ababonisi isithakazelo esanele kuwe nokuthi lokhu kukwenza uzizwe ulimele futhi ungathandwa. Mhlawumbe ubungathanda nje ukutuswa ngezikhathi ezithile, noma ubungalwazisa usizo oluthile ngomsebenzi wakho wesikole.

Cishe abazali bakho bayomangaliswa ukwazi ukuthi uzizwa ngalendlela. Bangase basheshe ukukuqinisekisa ngothando lwabo futhi mhlawumbe baze ngisho baxolise ngokukunikeza umuzwa oyiphutha. Ezikhathini eziningi abazali bayokwenza umzamo wangempela wokushintsha lapho inkinga isiye yalethwa ekunakekeleni kwabo.

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, mhlawumbe ingxoxo yakho iyoveza ukuthi bekukhona ukungaqondi ngakuwe. Mhlawumbe umane nje wangaziqaphela ezinye zezindlela ezihlukahlukene abaye babonisa ngazo isithakazelo kuwe. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi isimo siyini, ukuthulula isifuba kuyisinyathelo esibalulekile esiholela ekuthuthukiseni izinto ekhaya.

Ukuvala Isikhala

Kuthiwani uma ungakutholi namanje ukusabela okuhle okuvela kubazali bakho? Ngokuqondakalayo, lokhu kungaba okuzwisa ubuhlungu ngempela. Nokho, kunezinye izindlela ezikuvulekele ongakhetha kuzo.

Ngokwesibonelo, zama ukuthola umuntu othile—ngokufiselekayo umuntu omdala kunawe—ongakusiza ukuba uvale isikhala esashiywa abazali bakho abanganakekeli. Njengoba izAga zikubeka, kukhona umngane ‘ozalwa ekuhluphekeni.’ (IzAga 17:17) Funa lolohlobo lomngane. Kodwa yiba ngosikhethayo iseluleko osamukelayo, uqiniseka ukuthi sikhathalela izithakazelo zakho ezingcono kakhulu futhi siyavumelana neZwi likaNkulunkulu.

Omunye umthombo wosizo nokusekela yibandla lakini loFakazi BakaJehova. Lapho ungathola abazalwane nodadewenu, obaba nomama abangokomoya abayoba nesithakazelo sangempela kuwe futhi bakusize ukuba uthuthuke ngokomoya nangokomzwelo. (Marku 10:30) UCollin osemusha waseAfrika okukhulunywe ngaye ngaphambili, wabathola abangane abanjalo. Ezwa isidingo sesiqondiso, waqala ukuba khona emihlanganweni yoFakazi BakaJehova. Ngokushesha amalungu ebandla akha ubungane naye okwamenza wazizwa ethandwa futhi efunwa. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi abazali bakhe nabafowabo nodadewabo nabo baqala ukuba khona emihlanganweni yobuKristu.

Ngokunokwenzeka kakhulu, abazali bakho bayakukhathalela ngempela kodwa bamane nje badinga ukuziqaphela ngokwengeziwe izidingo zakho. Thatha isinyathelo kuqala, futhi ubenze bazi ukuthi ziyini lezozidingo! Kwazi bani? Mhlawumbe uyothola ukuthi banesithakazelo esikhulu ngokwengeziwe kuwe kunokuba wake wacabanga.

[Umbhalo waphansi]

[Isithombe ekhasini 23]

Ngokuvamile abazali namuhla bazizwa becindezeleke kakhulu futhi bekhathele ukuba bangabhekana nezinkinga zabantwana babo