Umbono WeBhayibheli

Lapho Ukungashadi Kuyisipho

‘NGINESIZUNGU,’ kukhala owesifazane othile ongumKristu osekuyiminyaka eminingana engumfelokazi. ‘Benginethemba lokuthola umngane womshado. Ukuhlala ngimatasa kuyasiza. Ukuba nabangane kuyasiza. Kodwa ngifuna ukushada.’

Lapho ukufisa ngempela ukushada kodwa ukufuna kwakho umngane womshado kungaphumeleli, ukungashadi akubonakali nakancane kuyisipho—ungase uzizwe ukhungethwe imizwelo emibi ekushiya ucobekile futhi ucindezelekile. Noma uma usunomkhaya wakho kakade kodwa ungashadile, ungase ube nomthwalo wemfanelo wokunakekela zonke izidingo zabantwana bakho uwedwa.

Ngakho-ke, ungase ungakubheki ukuba ongashadile njengesipho. Nokho, abanye babheka ukungashadi njengokuthile okuyigugu kakhulu, futhi bakhetha ukuhlala bodwa. Khona-ke ingabe ukungashadi kuyisipho, futhi uma kunjalo, nini futhi ngani? Lithini iBhayibheli?

Ingabe Kuyisithiyo Senjabulo?

Umshado ungaba umthombo wenjabulo enkulu. (IzAga 5:18, 19) I-Los Angeles Times iphawula ukuthi abanye “bayaqiniseka ukuthi ukushada kuwukuphela kwendlela yokuthola injabulo nokwaneliseka.” Ingabe incwadi yomshado iwukuphela “kwesiqinisekiso” senjabulo?

Ngokwe-Los Angeles Times, omunye uchwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo, uRuth Luban, uthi: “Abesifazane [namadoda] bayomangala ukuthi bangathola ukwaneliseka okungakanani lapho beyeka ukujabulela ukuphila kwabo ngethemba lokuthi indoda [noma owesifazane] uyobophula ekuphileni kokuba ongashadile.” Yebo, ukungashadi akusona isiphazamiso sokuphila okujabulisayo nokwanelisayo. Abantu abaningi abahlukanisile bangavuma ukuthi umshado awusona isihluthulelo senjabulo ezenzakalelayo. Injabulo yeqiniso ilethwa ukuba nobuhlobo obuhle noNkulunkulu. Ngakho, umKristu angajabula lapho eshadile noma engashadile.—IHubo 84:12; 119:1, 2.

Ngaphandle kokukhuluma ngezithiyo umuntu azibangela zona, uMarie Edwards no-Eleanor Hoover, encwadini yabo ethi The Challenge of Being Single, baveza okunye okungaba isithiyo senjabulo—ukucindezela komphakathi. Bathi “kucatshangelwa ukuthi uma ungashadile ukhathazwa ubuhlungu obungokomzwelo obujulile, nobungenathemba. . . . Ngokuqinisekile, kukhona okungalungile ngawe.”

Ngisho nabangane abanezisusa ezinhle bangabacindezela kakhulu bengahlosile abantu abangashadile ngokubelesela ngokubuza ukuthi, ‘Uzoshada nini?’ noma, ‘Kungani insizwa eyigeza njengawe ingakamtholi umfazi?’ Nakuba amazwi anjengalawa engase akhulunywe ngokuntela, angase ‘ahlabe njengenkemba,’ abangele imizwa elimele noma ukudumazeka.—IzAga 12:18.

Isipho Somuntu Ngamunye

Umphostoli uPawulu wayengashadile lapho ehamba njengesithunywa sevangeli. Ingabe lokhu kwakungenxa yokuthi wayemelene nomshado? Lutho neze. Umphostoli uPawulu wayengashadile ngoba wakhetha ukuhlala enjalo “ngenxa yevangeli.”—1 Korinte 7:7; 9:23.

UPawulu wayenamandla okuwugwema umshado, kodwa waqaphela ukuthi akubona bonke abantu abangaba njengaye. Wathi: “Yilowo nalowo unesakhe isiphiwo somusa esivela kuNkulunkulu, omunye kanje, omunye kanje.”—1 Korinte 7:7.

Ukungashadi kungaba indlela eholela enjabulweni, ngisho noma kungase kungabi indlela obuhlose ukuyikhetha. Ngokuqinisekile, umshado uhlanganisiwe phakathi kwezipho eziningi ezivela kuJehova. Kodwa iBhayibheli libonisa ukuthi ukungashadi kungase futhi kube “isiphiwo”—uma ‘ungakwamukela.’ (Mathewu 19:11, 12; 1 Korinte 7:36-39) Ziyini-ke ezinye izinzuzo zokungashadi?

UPawulu wathi imibhangqwana eshadile ikhathalela ‘ukuthokozisa’ abangane bayo bomshado, kuyilapho abangashadile ‘bekhathalela okweNkosi.’ Lokhu kuqokomisa enye yezinzuzo zokungashadi enkulu kunazo zonke—ithuba lokukhonza uJehova “ngaphandle kokuthikamezeka.”—1 Korinte 7:32-35, qhathanisa ne-NW.

IBhayibheli alisho ukuthi umuntu ongashadile uphila ngaphandle kwezithikamezo ngokuphelele. Nokho, umuntu ohlala yedwa ngokuvamile unezithikamezo ezimbalwa kunomuntu onakekela umkhaya, njengoba ewukuphela komuntu okufanele amcabangele lapho enza isinqumo. Ngokwesibonelo, lapho uNkulunkulu eyala u-Abrahama ukuba asuke eHarana athuthele ezweni laseKhanani, iBhayibheli lithi: “UAbrama wathatha uSarayi umkakhe, noLoti indodana yomfowabo, nempahla yonke ababeyibuthile, nezinceku ababezitholile eHarana; basuka.” (Genesise 12:5) Nakuba isimo somkhaya ka-Abrahama singazange simvimbe, akungabazeki ukuthi wachitha isikhathi esiningi ehlelela umkhaya wakhe lokhu kuthunywa.

Qhathanisa ukuthutha kuka-Abrahama nokukamphostoli uPawulu. Lapho uPawulu noSila beshumayela izindaba ezinhle emzini waseThesalonika, babuthanelwa isixuku esithukuthele. Ngabo lobobusuku, abazalwane bathumela ngokushesha bobabili uPawulu noSila eBereya. Kwesinye isenzakalo, eTrowa, uPawulu wathola umbono owawuthi ‘awelele eMakedoniya, abasize.’ Ngokushesha ngemva kokubona lombono, waya eMakedoniya. Ngokusobala, ukungabi namfazi kukaPawulu kwamnikeza inkululeko enkulu yokuhamba esikhathini esifushane, okuthile okwakuyoba nzima kakhulu ukube wayenomkhaya.—IzEnzo 16:8-10; 17:1-15.

Enye inzuzo yokungashadi inkululeko enkudlwana yokuzikhethela. Lapho uhlala wedwa, ngokuvamile kulula ukunquma ukuthi uzohlalaphi, ukuthi uzodlani futhi nini, noma ngisho nokuthi uzolala nini. Lenkululeko ihlanganisa nemisebenzi engokomoya. Kunesikhathi esengeziwe sokuba nesifundo somuntu siqu seZwi likaNkulunkulu, ukuhlanganyela enkonzweni yasobala, nokusebenzisa amathuba ukuze usize abanye abantu.

Ngakho-ke, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi awushadile ngenxa yokuzikhethela noma ngenxa yezimo, zimisele ukusebenzisa isikhathi sakho ngokuhlakanipha. Uyoba nokuphila okujabulisa ngokwengeziwe lapho ukuba ongashadile ukusebenzisela ekusizeni abanye. (IzEnzo 20:35) Uma unesifiso sokushada, ungazikhungathekisi ngemizwelo emibi noma uphile ukuphila kwakho njengokungathi ungumuntu ongaphelele ngenxa yokuthi ‘lowomuntu okhethekile’ akakaveli. Yiba matasa enkonzweni kaNkulunkulu, futhi njengoba uPawulu asho, ungase uthole ukuthi ukungashadi kungaba isipho.