Yini Eyoba Inzuzo Kumntwana?
INGABE kufanele sihlukanise noma cha? Lowo umbuzo omkhulu ezingqondweni zabantu abaningi abanemishado engajabulisi. Eminyakeni eminingi edlule isehlukaniso sasingamukeleki, futhi ngokuvamile silahlwa ngezizathu zokuziphatha nezingokwenkolo. Futhi ngokuvamile abazali abanomshado ongajabulisi babehlala ndawonye ngenxa yabantwana. Nokho, izindinganiso zalelizwe ziye zashintsha kakhulu ezikhathini zamuva. Namuhla isehlukaniso samukelwa kabanzi.
Nokho, naphezu kokwamukeleka kwesehlukaniso, abazali abaningi, amajaji, ochwepheshe bezenhlalo nabanye bazwakalisa ukukhathazeka ngemiphumela emibi yesehlukaniso kubantwana. Manje kunezixwayiso eziningi ezikhishwayo. Ubufakazi obuningi bubonisa ukuthi isehlukaniso singaba nomphumela olimazayo kumntwana. Abazali banxuswa ukuba bacabange ngemiphumela isehlukaniso esingaba nayo kubo nakubantwana babo. Isazi sezenhlalo uSara McLanahan, wasePrinceton University, sibonisa ukuthi “imikhaya ephakathi kwezingxenye ezimbili kwezintathu nezingxenye ezintathu kwezine ehlukanayo mhlawumbe kufanele izinike isikhathi esengeziwe sokucabanga ukuthi yenza into efanele yini.”
Ukuhlola kwamuva nje kubonisa ukuthi abantwana besehlukaniso basengozini enkulu yokukhulelwa besebancane, ukushiya phansi isikole, ukucindezeleka, ukuhlukanisa emishadweni yabo nokungena ezinhlwini zabantu abadinga usizo kwabezenhlalakahle. Emazweni aseNtshonalanga, abazali bomntwana oyedwa kwabayisithupha bayehlukanisa. Encwadini yaso ephathelene nokuwinwa kwabantwana e-United States, isazi-mlando uMary Ann Mason saphawula: “Umntwana owazalwa ngo-1990 wayenamathuba angamaphesenti angu-50 okuba anqunyelwe yinkantolo ukuthi uzohlala kuphi futhi nobani.”
Ngokudabukisayo, ngokuvamile isehlukaniso asiziqedi izingxabano, njengoba abazali bengase baqhubeke belwa ezinkantolo befuna amalungelo okuwina umntwana nawokumvakashela, okubacindezela nakakhulu abantwana babo. Lezi zimo ezicindezelayo ngokomzwelo phambi kwenkantolo zivivinya ukuthembeka kwabantwana kubazali babo futhi zivame ukubashiya bengenamandla futhi besaba.
Umeluleki wemikhaya wathi: “Isehlukaniso asibasizi abantwana. Kuyenzeka ngezinye izikhathi sibasize abazali.” Iqiniso liwukuthi ngokuhlukanisa, abazali bangase bazixazulule ezabo izinkinga, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo, bangase balimaze abantwana babo, abangase bachithe konke ukuphila kwabo bezama ukubhekana nalomonakalo.
Ukukhetha Endabeni Yokuwinwa Kwabantwana
Ngenxa yesimo esinobutha sesehlukaniso nokucindezeleka ngokomzwelo, kunzima kakhulu ukubonisana ngamalungiselelo esikhathi esizayo okunakekelwa kwabantwana ngomoya ophansi nozolile. Ukuze zigweme ukuxabana kwabazali nokumangalelana enkantolo, ezinye izindawo zinenye indlela yokuxazulula izingxabano, njengokuba nomlamuli osebenza ngaphandle kwenkantolo.
Lapho kusingathwe kahle, ukuba nomlamuli kunikeza abazali ithuba lokwenza isivumelwano kunokuba bashiyele izinqumo zokuwinwa kwabantwana ejajini. Uma engenakutholakala umlamuli, abazali bangase bakwazi ukwenza isivumelwano sokuwinwa kwabantwana nokubavakashela besizwa abameli babo. Lapho abazali sebenze isivumelwano futhi basibhala phansi, ijaji lingasayina isinqumo sezifiso zabo.
Lapho abazali bengavumelani endabeni yokuwinwa kwabantwana, emazweni amaningi umthetho ulungiselela indlela yokuqikelela ukuthi amalungelo abantwana ayavikelwa. Ijaji likhathalela kakhulu abantwana, hhayi abazali. Ijaji licabangela izici eziningi ezihlobene nendaba, njengezifiso zabazali, ubuhlobo umntwana anabo nomzali ngamunye, lokho umntwana akuthandayo, kanye namandla omzali ngamunye okumnakekela usuku nosuku. Khona-ke ijaji libe selinquma ukuthi umntwana uyohlala kuphi futhi nobani nokuthi abazali bayozisingatha kanjani izinqumo ezibalulekile ezithinta ikusasa lomntwana.
Lapho kungumzali oyedwa owina umntwana, kungase kube nguye kuphela onegunya lokwenza izinqumo. Lapho bobabili abazali benikezwa ilungelo lokunakekela umntwana, kumelwe bobabili bavumelane ezinqumweni ezibalulekile, njengokunakekelwa kwempilo yomntwana nemfundo yakhe.
Imibuzo Engase Iphakame
Lapho bebhekene nokuqulwa kwecala lokuwinwa kwabantwana, abazali abangoFakazi BakaJehova kumelwe bacabangele nokuthi yini eyozuzisa abantwana kangcono ngokomoya. Ngokwesibonelo, kuthiwani uma umzali ongeyena uFakazi emelene nokuqeqeshwa kwabantwana okusekelwe eBhayibhelini? Noma kuthiwani uma umzali ongeyena uFakazi esusiwe ekuhlanganyeleni nebandla lobuKristu?
Lezi zimo zingenza ukuba ukwenza isinqumo kube nzima kakhulu kubazali abangamaKristu. Bafuna ukwenza izinto ngendlela ehlakaniphile nenengqondo, futhi bafuna nokulondoloza unembeza omuhle phambi kukaJehova njengoba ngomthandazo becabangela okuyoba yinzuzo kakhulu kubantwana.
Ezihlokweni ezilandelayo, sizocabangela imibuzo enjengokuthi: Lapho unquma endabeni yokuwinwa kwabantwana, umthetho uthini ngenkolo? Ngingabhekana kanjani ngokuphumelelayo nenselele yecala lokuwinwa kwabantwana? Ngingabhekana kanjani nokulahlekelwa ilungelo lokunakekela abantwana bami? Ngisibheka kanjani isivumelwano sokuhlanganyela ekunakekeleni abantwana nomzali osusiwe ekuhlanganyeleni?