Ukufunda Ukuhlukana Nezingane

“NJENGEMICIBISHOLO esandleni seqhawe banjalo abantwana bobusha,” kubhala umhubi waseBhayibhelini. (IHubo 127:4) Umcibisholo awufiki ngengozi lapho ucitshelwe khona. Kufanele ucitshwe ngokucophelela. Ngokufanayo, abantwana bangase bangawufinyeleli umgomo wokuba abantu abadala abathembekile ngaphandle kwesiqondiso sabazali. IBhayibheli liyayala: “Khulisa umntwana ngendlela eyakuba-ngeyakhe; kuyakuthi lapho esekhulile, angasuki kuyo.”—IzAga 22:6.

Ushintsho kusuka ekuthembeleni kwabanye lapho umuntu esemncane kuya lapho esekhulile esezimele alunakwenzeka ngokuphazima kweso. Ngakho abazali kufanele baqale nini ukuqeqesha izingane zabo ukuze zizimele? Umphostoli uPawulu wakhumbuza insizwa okuthiwa uThimothewu: “Kusukela uwusana uye wazi imibhalo engcwele, ekwazi ukukuhlakaniphisela insindiso ngokholo olumayelana noKristu Jesu.” (2 Thimothewu 3:15) Ake ucabange, unina kaThimothewu waqala ukumqeqesha ngokomoya lapho esewusana!

Khona-ke, uma izinsana zizuza ekuqeqeshweni ngokomoya, akunangqondo yini ukuthi abantwana kufanele baqeqeshelwe ukuba abantu abadala ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka? Enye indlela yokwenza lokhu iwukubafundisa ukuthwala umthwalo wemfanelo, bazenzele izinqumo zabo.

Ukufundisa Abantwana Ukuthwala Umthwalo Wemfanelo

Ungabakhuthaza kanjani abantwana bakho ukuba bathwale umthwalo wemfanelo? Umbhangqwana oshadile okuthiwa uJack noNora wakhumbula lokhu ngendodakazi yawo: “Lapho isacathula, yafunda ukuyisa amasokisi noma izinto ezincane ekamelweni layo futhi izibeke endaweni yazo. Yafunda nokubeka amathoyizi nezincwadi ngononina.” Lesi isiqalo esincane, kodwa kakade lomntwana wayesefunda ukwenza izinqumo ezifanele.

Njengoba umntwana ekhula, mhlawumbe angaphathiswa imithwalo yemfanelo ethé xaxa. Ngenxa yalokho u-Abra no-Anita bavumela indodakazi yabo ukuba ifuye inja. Lomntwana wayenomthwalo wokunakekela lenja futhi wayeze anikele ngisho nangemali yakhe ukuze inakekelwe. Ukuqeqesha abantwana ukuze bakwazi ukuthwala imithwalo yabo yemfanelo kudinga isineke. Kodwa kuwufanele umzamo futhi kuyabasiza bakhule ngokomzwelo.

Imisebenzi yasekhaya ivula elinye ithuba lokufundisa abantwana ukusingatha umthwalo wemfanelo. Abanye abazali cishe ababaniki nhlobo abantwana babo imisebenzi yasekhaya, bebheka ukuhileleka kwabo njengesiphazamiso kunokuba usizo. Abanye bathi abantwana babo kufanele ‘baphile kangcono kunabo lapho besengabantwana.’ Kuyiphutha ukucabanga ngalendlela. ImiBhalo ithi: “Uma umuntu etotosa inceku yakhe kusukela ebusheni kuqhubeke‚ ekuphileni kwayo kwakamuva iyoba engabongiyo.” (IzAga 29:21, NW) Ngokuqinisekile isimiso salombhalo siyasebenza kubantwana. Kuyadabukisa lapho osemusha engabi umuntu omdala ‘ongabongiyo’ kuphela kodwa futhi eba ongakwazi ukwenza ngisho nemisebenzi yasendlini emincane.

Intsha ezikhathini zeBhayibheli yayivame ukunikezwa imisebenzi yasekhaya. Ngokwesibonelo, lapho eneminyaka engu-17 kuphela, uJosefa osemncane wayehlanganyela emsebenzini wokunakekela imfuyo yomkhaya. (Genesise 37:2) Lesi kwakungesona isabelo esincane, ngoba uyise wayefuyile impela. (Genesise 32:13-15) Ngenxa yokuthi uJosefa wakhula waba umholi onamandla, kuyacaca ukuthi lokhu kuqeqeshwa kwasebuntwaneni kwasiza kakhulu ekulolongeni ubuntu bakhe ngendlela efanele. Owayezoba inkosi yakwa-Israyeli, uDavide, naye wayephathiswe imfuyo yomkhaya wakubo lapho esakhula.—1 Samuweli 16:11.

Yini abazali abangayifunda kulokhu namuhla? Nikezani abantwana benu imisebenzi yasekhaya enenjongo. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ngomzamo nangesineke, ningafundisa abantwana ukuhlanganyela ekuhlanzeni, ekuphekeni, ekunakekeleni amagceke nasekulungiseni izinto endlini kanye nemoto. Yiqiniso, okuningi kuxhomeke ebudaleni nasekhonweni lomntwana. Kodwa ngisho nabantwana abancane ngokuvamile bangaba nengxenye ‘ekusizeni ubaba lapho elungisa imoto’ noma ‘ekusizeni umama lapho epheka ukudla.’

Ukufundisa abantwana imisebenzi yasekhaya kudinga nokuba abazali banikeze abantwana babo isipho esiyigugu kakhulu—isikhathi sabo. Umbhangqwana othile oshadile, onezingane ezimbili, wabuzwa ukuthi iyini imfihlo yokuqeqesha abantwana ngokuphumelelayo. Waphendula: “Ukubapha isikhathi, isikhathi, isikhathi!”

Ukukhuza Ngothando

Uma abantwana beyenza kahle imisebenzi yabo, noma okungenani bezikhandla ukuze bayenze, bakhuthaze ngokubancoma ngomusa nangobuqotho! (Qhathanisa noMathewu 25:21.) Yiqiniso, kuyethukela abantwana benze umsebenzi njengomuntu omdala. Futhi uma abantwana bevunyelwa ukuba bazenzele izinqumo, ngokuvamile bayokwenza amaphutha. Kodwa qaphela, ungasabeli ngamawala! Awuwenzi yini amaphutha wena njengomuntu omdala? Pho kungani ungabi nesineke lapho umntanakho enza iphutha? (Qhathanisa neHubo 103:13.) Walindele amaphutha. Wabheke njengendlela abafunda ngayo.

Abalobi uMichael Schulman no-Eva Mekler bayaphawula: “Abantwana abaphathwa ngobungane abesabi ukuthi bazojeziswa ngokuzenzela isinqumo.” Kodwa-ke, “abantwana abanabazali abangenaluzwela noma abanokhahlo bayesaba ukuthatha noma isiphi isinyathelo, kuhlanganise neziwusizo, ngoba besaba ukuthi abazali babo bayothola iphutha kulokho abakwenzile bese bebagxeka noma bebajezisa.” Lamazwi avumelana nesixwayiso seBhayibheli kubazali: “Ningabathukuthelisi abantwana benu, ukuze bangadangali.” (Kolose 3:21) Ngakho lapho imizamo yomntwana isilela, kungani ungamncomi ngokuthi uzamile? Mkhuthaze ukuba enze ngcono ngokuzayo. Mtshele ukuthi ukuthuthuka kwakhe kuyakujabulisa. Mqinisekise ngothando lwakho.

Yiqiniso, ngezinye izikhathi ukukhuza kuyadingeka. Lokhu kungabonakala kakhulu lapho umntwana esakhula, lapho intsha izama ukuzazi ukuthi ingobani, ilwela ukwamukelwa njengabantu abahlukile. Ngakho-ke abazali bayobe bahlakaniphile uma beyiqonda imizamo enjalo yokuzimela kunokuba njalo bayibheke njengokuvukela.

Yiqiniso, intsha ithambekele ekuthatheni izinto ngamawala noma ekuvumeleni “izifiso ezihambisana nobusha.” (2 Thimothewu 2:22) Ngakho ukungambekeli umntwana imingcele yokuziphatha kungamlimaza ngokomzwelo; ngeke akufunde ukuzithiba nokuzikhuza. IBhayibheli liyaxwayisa: “Umntwana oyekwayo uyahlazisa unina.” (IzAga 29:15) Kodwa ukuyala okufanele, uma kunikezwa ngothando, kuyazuzisa futhi kulungiselela osemusha ukuba abhekane nezingqinamba nezingcindezi lapho esemdala. IBhayibheli liyayala: “Oyeka uswazi uyazonda indodana yakhe, kepha oyithandayo uyayilaya ngesineke.” (IzAga 13:24) Nokho, khumbula ukuthi umgomo wokuyala uwukufundisa nokuqeqesha—hhayi ukujezisa. “Uswazi” okukhulunywa ngalo lapha ngokunokwenzeka lubhekisela entongeni eyayisetshenziswa abelusi ukwelusa imihlambi yabo. (IHubo 23:4) Luwuphawu lwesiqondiso sothando—hhayi unya olunesihluku.

Imfundo Esizayo Ekuphileni

Isiqondiso sabazali siyadingeka ikakhulukazi lapho kuziwa emfundweni yomntwana. Yiba nesithakazelo emfundweni yomntanakho. Msize ukuba akhethe izifundo zesikole ezifanele futhi enze isinqumo esifanele sokuthi iyodingeka yini imfundo yokwenezela noma cha.a

Yiqiniso, imfundo ebaluleke kunazo zonke imfundo engokomoya. (Isaya 54:13) Abantwana bayodinga izindinganiso zokuhlonipha uNkulunkulu ukuze bakwazi ukuphila ezweni lapho sebebadala. “Amandla abo okuqonda” kumelwe aqeqeshwe. (Heberu 5:14) Kuningi abazali abangakwenza ukuze babasize kulesi sici. Imikhaya yoFakazi BakaJehova ikhuthazwa ukuba ibe nesifundo seBhayibheli sasikhathi sonke nabantwana. Belandela isibonelo sikanina kaThimothewu, owamfundisa imiBhalo kusukela ewusana, abazali abangoFakazi nabo bayabafundisa abantwana babo abancane.

Umzali ongayedwa okuthiwa uBarbara wenza isifundo somkhaya seBhayibheli sibe isikhathi esijabulisa kakhulu kubantwana bakhe. “Ngalolo suku kusihlwa ngiyaqikelela ukuthi ngipha abantwana ukudla okwehl’esiphundu, okunophudingi abawuthandayo. Ngidlala amakhasethi e-Kingdom Melodies ukuze ngakhe isimo esifanelekayo. Khona-ke, ngemva kokuvula ngo-mthandazo, ngokuvamile sifunda umagazini INqabayokulinda. Kodwa uma kunesidingo esikhethekile, ngisebenzisa izincwadi ezinjengethi Intsha Iyabuza—Izimpendulo Ezisebenzayo.”b Ngokusho kukaBarbara, ukufunda iBhayibheli kusiza abantwana bakhe “bathole umbono kaJehova ngezindaba.”

Yebo, asikho isipho esinganikezwa umntwana esingcono kunolwazi nokuqonda iZwi likaNkulunkulu, iBhayibheli. ‘Linganika abangenalwazi ukuhlakanipha, nezinsizwa ukwazi namasu.’ (IzAga 1:4) Ehlome kanjalo, osemusha udlulela ebudaleni ekwazi ukuhlangabezana nezingcindezi nezimo ezintsha.

Noma kunjalo, ukuhamba kwezingane kuletha ushintsho olukhulu ekuphileni kwabazali abaningi. Ukuthi bangabhekana kanjani ngokuphumelelayo nekhaya elingenamuntu kudingidwa esihlokweni sethu esilandelayo.

[Imibhalo yaphansi]

[Amazwi acashunwe esihlokweni ekhasini 6]

“Abantwana abanabazali abangenaluzwela noma abanokhahlo bayesaba ukuthatha noma isiphi isinyathelo, kuhlanganise neziwusizo, ngoba besaba ukuthi abazali babo bayothola iphutha kulokho abakwenzile bese bebagxeka noma bebajezisa.”—Bringing Up a Moral Child, kaMichael Schulman no-Eva Mekler

[Ibhokisi ekhasini 6]

Abazali Abangabodwa—Inselele Yokuhlukana Nezingane

Umzali ongayedwa okuthiwa uRebecca uyaphawula: “Kunzima kakhulu ngabazali abangabodwa ukuhlukana nezingane zabo. Uma singaqapheli, sithambekela ekuzivuneni nasekuzitotoseni.” Incwadi ethi Imfihlo Yenjabulo Yomkhaya,c emakhasini 106-7, inalamazwi awusizo:

“Kungokwemvelo ngabazali abangabodwa ukuba basondelane ngokukhethekile nezingane zabo, nokho kumelwe kuqashelwe ukuba imingcele ebekwe uNkulunkulu phakathi kwabazali nezingane ingeqiwa. Ngokwesibonelo, kungaphakama inkinga engathi sína uma umama oyedwa elindela ukuba indodana yakhe ithwale imithwalo yemfanelo yomnumzane wekhaya noma enza indodakazi yakhe ibe umuntu athulula kuye isifuba sakhe, ayithwalise izinkinga ezijulile. Ukwenza kanjalo akulungile, kuyacindezela, futhi mhlawumbe kuyayikhungathekisa ingane.

“Qinisekisa izingane zakho ukuthi wena, njengomzali, uzozinakekela—hhayi ukuthi izona ezizonakekela wena. (Qhathanisa neyesi-2 Korinte 12:14.) Ngezinye izikhathi, ungase udinge iseluleko noma ukusekelwa. Kucele kubadala abangamaKristu noma mhlawumbe kwabesifazane abavuthiwe abangamaKristu, hhayi ezinganeni zakho ezincane.—Thithu 2:3.”

Lapho abazali abangabodwa bebeka imingcele efanele futhi belondoloza ubuhlobo obunempilo nezingane zabo, ngokuvamile kuba lula ngabo ukuba bahlukane nazo.

[Umbhalo waphansi]

[Isithombe ekhasini 7]

Ukuqeqeshwa okuzuzisayo kungasiza izingane zibe abantu abadala abakwaziyo ukusingatha umthwalo wemfanelo

[Isithombe ekhasini 8]

Isifundo seBhayibheli somkhaya singanikeza izingane ukuhlakanipha okudingekayo ukuze zikwazi ukubhekana nokuphila lapho sezikhulile